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 |  probably stuff i think is funny. or aggravating. or both. |
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| i'm reading this book, 'the forest for the trees'. its subtitle is 'an editor's advice to writers', and i'm so encouraged by this woman. betsy lerner has worked as an editor and writer both. she knows stuff about writing and publishing. what's struck me so far is her assertion that writers need to write to themselves. we naturally gravitate toward a particular form, a particular genre, and we should follow this pull. our hearts are in this direction, and usually our talent, as well. some writers try for a particular style, perhaps to follow a book on the bestsellers list, or a hot new genre. but the fact is, betsy says, once a style or genre hits the shelves, the publishers are already looking for the next big thing. sending in manuscripts with the intention on cashing in on a trend will backfire, most of the time. so, follow your heart, people. write what moves you, and have faith that others will be moved, as well. hopefully, someday, an editor somewhere will be moved by your voice and message, too. |
| i'm so tired my eyes keeping wandering off what i'm trying to look at...i will blog today, but later, i think. need a nap, or some heavy stimulants....*yawn*. sorry for lame-O entry. be back soon. i have all sorts of interesting stuff. am reading a book. and surprise! it's not about the end of the world! it's about writing. and writers. be back soon, y'all. |
| do you think serial killers are evolutionarily designed? i wonder. what hunts the top of the food chain? i also wonder about our place in the world, as a species. we've altered it to the point that our immediate environment suits us so well, we never have to leave it. everything's automated, specialized, coin-operated, air-conditioned, paved over or landscaped...the indigenous wildlife has been killed or scared off. when we do venture out into the wilderness, we get lost, eaten, ravaged by the elements...do we belong out there anymore? did we ever, with our big brains and soft, fleshy outer coat? our survival has been chiefly based on our creativity and ruthlessness. i feel uneasy with nature. like it wants to kick my ass, after several epochs of putting up with our shit. global warming's just the beginning, man. it's waiting, i can tell. we should stockpile stuff now, for the long years to come without the ability to create wonderments of modern culture...like tupperware, action figures, and twinkies. |
| when i was a kid, i didn't feel like one. i knew more than people thought, understood what was going on but remained generally unspoken, if only from the perspective of someone with a dozen or so years under her belt. then i got older, and what's interesting (to me, anyway) is how childlike my perspective seems to becoming. i have a larger sense of wonder about the world than i did as a child. picture lucy from 'the goodbye girl', and that was me in a nutshell. a little too worldly for my own good. i wasn't ever a huge rebel, but i saw more than i should have. learned more about the foibles of grownups than i needed to know at that age. now that life has caught up with me, i feel balanced. as if my insides match my outsides. it's a queer feeling. my father tells me you never feel 'old'. not on the inside. he feels the same way he did when he was a kid, except his outside just doesn't do exactly what he tells it anymore. so, i'm looking forward to wearing loud dresses, too much perfume, and mismatched socks. to not caring what people think, not because i'm all guarded, but because i'm just happy to be here. i'd like to be a sage, but a silly one. one of my lessons would be to never take yourself too seriously, but to learn how to genuinely enjoy the company of those around you.  |
a kind soul (dragonfly~guess who's back?  ) brought to my attention how goofy i am. when i spewed forth about my big contest win, i neglected to post the link to the actual story. d'oh!
yyyyeah, i'm an eediot. please, if you have a yen, give it a read if you haven't already. thank you! |
| if you had to choose which trade to take on, when the current world civilizations crumble, which would you choose? everyone's going to have to farm, to some extent. assuming you'll be with a group...if not, you'll have to take on everything by yourself, including home defense. kind of intimidating, considering the marauders sure to be running loose. and pestilence. pestilence everywhere, once the hygiene, plumbing, and medical care breaks down. ugh. hopefully, the first wave will pass quickly enough, leaving the rest of us to reinvent our way of life. so lots of backbreaking farming and harvesting, weaving and sewing, raising and keeping livestock, defense and hunting, and engineering (irrigation, capturing wind & water for energy, etc)...maybe i could herd sheep. that could be my contribution. they smell, but i'm sure i will, too. and i could get some reading done...although before too long, books will become scarce. sigh. but hey, storytellers will become valuable, since tv and radio won't exist anymore. not for awhile, anyway. not sure how feasible they'd be if oil resources were used up. so i could herd sheep, and pay for my dinner and sundries with a good story or two in the evenings. it's important to think about these things. |
| oh, i can't contain my excitment! look how it oozes out between my cracks!! (um, gross.  )i won a contest, y'all!! i'm so beside myself, i'm actually typing this from my own lap.  it was this one:
sigh. oh, the endorphines....one of the writers i respect most for her hilarious turns of phrase & quick wit, Acme , deserves mention, as well. she's written several pieces of great comedy, and her tyra banks-marine story is as hilarious as all get out.
i hope to be as quick as she, someday. the rest of my day just fades in comparison...work in a bit, probably a shower before then. cats and dogs sleeping together. of course, i got nothing done on my story last night.... . i can't imagine how i'm going to manage the november nanowrimo. i'll have to watch 'vison quest' a few times, get into training mode. raw eggs, anyone?well, have a great day, y'all! see you tomorrow!!  (i just can't wipe this grin off my face.) ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "I arise in the morning torn between a desire to save the world and a desire to savor the world. That makes it hard to plan the day." -E.B. White |
| i just finished watching this amazing movie. truly, just beautiful. set in one of the carolinas (can't remember), it's the story of this family. typical, yet not. telling you the plot won't tell you much about this movie. it's about the people, their hidden emotional lives. and not even so much hidden, but just unspoken. no small town hick cliches, or big city cliches...just real, complicated people. and so much truth. i can't begin to do it justice, and to be too specific will just ruin the revelations you'll have if you watch it. those who have, you understand already. so if you haven't, give it a look. i couldn't stop watching, once i started. compelling. anyhoo, otherwise, my day is normal so far. gotta run errands, etc. will be back later to continue working on my story. i've been told i need to slow the pace, take more time to flesh out my characters. which is true. i think i've been so frantic to get down the bones of the thing before i forget what i want to say, i leave out too much on the way. funny, the things we learn about ourselves with this writing stuff. have a great day, y'all. |
| we're social animals. i think this is a safe statement. the billions of us swarming across the earth's crust make that a necessity. we don't have the luxury of avoiding each other. so i wonder about people who make little to no effort to consider the feelings of those around them. their manner of getting along involves being the center of attention, interacting with others on a superficial level, and not hesitating to show disrespect to those around them. how do these people evolve? i'm not saying everyone must be emily post disciples. how dull. but at least displaying a basic respect for others would be on my list, for sure. perhaps expecting people to consider others' feelings is too much...taking a moment to sympathize (or even better, empathize) before spewing whatever insensitive garbage comes to mind. even a difference of opinion can be handled in a way which leaves both parties feeling respected. for example: "X wasn't to my taste, although i know many people do like it." vs "X was a diseased piece of filth i'd rather pull out of my ass and bury than experience again." sure. option two is more fun. option two also makes the person with which you're discussing "X" feel like a boob for enjoying "X", himself. option one leaves both people entitled to their opinion without stomping on the other's. this is a minor issue, compared to everything else the world has on its plate. starvation, natural disasters, war, deceipt and hatred...this sounds like a silly concern in comparison. but there are six billion of us. if we're losing the ability to communicate on a civilized level, what comes next? |
| oh, i wish i was talking about more entertaining drugs, but no...they're for my allergies. and i'm out of them. my sinuses feel as if a tiny cheese grater is raking up and down the passages, followed by tiny feathers to tickle gut-wrenching sneezes out of me. i resent my overreactive immune system. i try reasoning with it, but the blasted thing ignores me. what to do? homeopathic remedies seem either feeble or questionable, allopathic drugs are expensive and feel like i'm covering the symptoms instead of alleviating the problem. alternative approaches like acupuncture and hypnotism are either skeevy or silly...i hope you all don't mind the occasional splatter on the screen. i may be stuck infirm for awhile. hmm. maybe now would be the time for some of those more entertaining drugs... |
| i'm not comfortable with manipulation, with deceipt. i don't appreciate people who play those games. i also don't appreciate people who, because of their unfounded paranoia, choose to believe the worst of those around them. homey don't play that. i'll make a deal with you. if i do something to piss you off, i'll respect you enough to apologize for my wrongdoing, if you'll respect me enough to tell me about it. and vice versa. if you've misjudged me, then i expect you to respect me enough to apologize in kind. and that's all i'm going to say about that. today was a good day--i got to spend a good chunk of my week training, which is always exhausting, but also much more satisfying that my usual responsibilities. at least i feel like i'm making a difference for one person in that place. one of my good friends, sully, has decided it's the right time for him to concentrate on writing his novel. so, he won't be around the site as much. which sucks for me (and i'm sure a number of other folks around here), but i understand. and i admire him for sticking to his priority. kudos to him, i say. and someday we'll all benefit for having a great story of his to read. we'll have to buy it off the shelf, of course, but i think we can forgive him that. live long and prosper, butthead.  |
| a coworker of mine, really nice lady, is a freelance photojournalist. she works at the store part time, for fun. she's working on a novel. because she's been working freelance for so long, she's sick of the constant travel to exotic places. she wants a normal life. she's already spoken with an agent in new york, who's willing to read her manuscript when she's finished, and one of her good friends is an editor. she's a powerhouse dynamo, this woman. and always so gracious! i'm starting to feel slightly out of my league... i bet she'll write a great story, and carve out a different life for herself with her novels. inspiring, indeed. |
| you ever just can't get comfortable? something always itches, or your shirt's riding up, or you've got a tic right under your eye....arrrgh. sometimes i wish i could quit my job, run off to a tropical island (or a cabin on a mountain lake) and just focus on writing. i know, though, i'd probably spend my time finding other distractions to keep me from having to settle down and actually WRITE something...especially if i was on a beach. sipping something with colorful paper umbrellas in it. listening to the surf...sigh. yeah, i'd get nothing done. okay, here's the plan. i quit my job, and move to a shack in siberia... |
| i'm watching 'wargames'. funny, how prescient it was, way back in the early 80s. i don't love our species. or, i don't love the selfishness. and we've always been that way. we've been clever, creative, ruthless...we've spread like a virus across the planet because of it. i wonder when the planet's gonna shake us off. whenever i see people kiss in the movies, like during some drawn out chase scene, or after having battled against nature/monsters/the man for a few days, i wonder if they don't have the sticky breath, or if the characters are just supposed to be ignoring the sticky breath because they feel so strongly about kissing that person right then. have you ever met someone truly foreign to you? someone with which you had so few things in common, you couldn't begin to connect? with communications technology today, seems it'd be difficult to do. we all know about levis jeans. and chewing gum. about dried shrimp snacks. i wonder how a conversation would be if i were to land on a tibetan mountain and have a go with a yakherder. is being human enough to initiate that 'brother' feeling? human beings have killed each other over ridiculous things, i can almost assume we've lost the ability to identify with the guy down the street, much less some schmoe seven thousand miles away. there's that old question about whether we'd let someone cut off our little finger, if it would save hundreds of people on the other side of the world. never mind what sort of fucked up situation you'd have gotten yourself into to have to answer a question like that, but what would you do? what if it was an eye? what would you sacrifice, realistically? |
| we're watching 'the grudge 2'. i'll give a movie a lot of slack, if the effects are good. creepy gets you some play, homeslice. but the narrative's gotta at least make some sense. we're just so confused. there are about ten interchangeable schoolgirls, some japanese, some not. three different families, some mystery girl in a jogging suit, the various ghosts from the first movie, and so far about three time jumps in the story. the premise is fairly simple...the effects are creepy as all get out...why make it so complicated?? at this point, we're just making fun of the thing. P says, 'rip it open, jump in there, and start punching shit." that's what he'd do, in a haunted house. one of the characters peed herself earlier...i think that's more my speed. we keep yelling, 'dead!' every time one of the hapless girls is left alone. 'dead!' (there's another one)...'dead!' still. good effects. and that creepy de-oxygenated sound from the back of the throat.....ooowwaaauuuuoooo.....*shiver*. i do it real good. well, back to the flick. here's hoping it gets better. |
| i was talking with a friend today about what makes me tick, and i was dismayed at how difficult a question that was to answer. i can answer questions about myself, likes & dislikes, etc, but i don't have a mission statement. no all-encompassing philosophy. hm. i should probably have one of those, in case anyone asks again. don't wanna look like a dipwad. i've also heard that many talented actors are shy. i'd always been drawn to the idea of playing pretend, perhaps experiencing life vicariously through these roles i see people play. so, a couple of years ago i took a class. or, rather, i started a class. the first assignment was to reinterpret the pledge of allegiance. create a character, perform however we liked. i chose to be a survivalist-secessionist type talking with a hostile reporter, illustrating his vision of the perfect america. i used bad words, in the spirit of artistic integrity. the assignment seemed to go okay, the teacher thought i was 'brave' (read: insane) for my portrayal. but what hit me most was how little i enjoy being in the spotlight. i don't like being watched. hated it. i don't have a problem speaking in front of others, ironically. hm. another thing people tell me is that i tend to mimic whoever i'm speaking with. not consciously, but my tone of voice will change, my posture & gestures, in order to more closely match. i think that's part of why i enjoy writing. i can take all of these vicarious moments and put them into stories. i can finally pretend to be all of these people, take them off into any adventure i choose, do whatever i want with them, and i never have to leave myself. whoever that is. yes, must work on that.  anyhoo, have a great day, y'all. |
| i like andrew dice clay. i remember the furor in the 80s(?), with SNL & nora dunn refusing to perform on the same stage. what a joke. i see andrew dice clay as a nice guy with an asshole persona. he's making fun of this dipwad! sure, he says ridiculous, offensive things, but it's an act of self-mockery. i have faith he's a big teddy bear. remember 'casual sex'? this is what i'm saying. he might could use some heavy electrolysis, but pros & cons. ya know. anyway. i started giving some thought to which calendar i'll choose for 2008. the universe pulls this every year, expecting me to narrow my wants, my dreams, my soul journey down to 12 photos. if i'm lucky, i get some pithy quotes to go with them. what speaks to me? outhouses of the rich & famous? extraordinary chickens? shakespearean insults? there are so many different sides to me, how can i possibly choose? *sigh* well, i still have a few months. i'll make an appointment with my personal life coach and see if we have a breakthrough. and on that note, check out sully's new game of black humor:
if the concept creeps you out, think of it as a reminder of the universal human condition: mortality. have a good night, y'all. |
| boy howdy. today went pretty well, got some work done. i'm in the mood to write, although i'm almost giddy with lack of sleep. the caffeine/sugar iv drip i've had going all day helps. *zip!* *pow!* *prang!**whirrrrr!!!* kinda feels like the top of my head is floating....groovy. last night my lovepuppy (daisy, not P) woke me up about every hour because she was bored. bored. what does a dog have to be bored with?? daisy's train of thought: toy...toy....toy...kibble...wake up monkey so it'll open the door....chew on (name body part here)...wag tail...toy.....wake up the monkey......toy!toy!toy!......walk the house.....stare at cat....try to reach catbox for midnight buffet.... nap.....wake up monkey....toy!toy!toy!....sigh heavily, as if weight of world on doggy shoulders it kinda went like that all night. yyyyeah. here's to an extra-loopy chapter tonight! woohoo!! oh, and barbecue ribs and potato salad for dinner. mmmmmm..... have a good night, y'all. are you participating in the black case domination weekend?? it starts toniiiight.
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "I arise in the morning torn between a desire to save the world and a desire to savor the world. That makes it hard to plan the day." -E.B. White |
| just made it. today was a long day for me, work-wise. after my usual shift, a bunch of us met at a joint down the street, and discussed more work for another three hours. i love talking about work. i'll talk about work until the cows come home (and i think i might've seen some of them wander through, near the end), but.... well. we all pretty much agree on what needs to happen, what works & what doesn't. after a few hours, we're spinning our wheels. but the point is, and it's an important one, i made it home in time to blog today. woohoo!! otherwise, life is uneventful. maybe something exciting's going down...i haven't checked my email yet. oooh, maybe i'm missing something really really timely and urgent!!! i'm gonna go check that out. sorry for the lame entry....i ain't no geordie laforge. |
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