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 |  yes... I'm addicted. |
Another day another blog... I ran out of space in the other one right when I was gonna reveal the meaning of life...and now, I've forgotten what it was...so I need another blog to figure it all out... love you all   If you REALLY need to catch up on the rest of my life darlings... it's here... (well not REALLY the rest of my life, but a smidgen of my existence taken at brief intervals)
new journal
Jaren is Avarielle   made this painting for me...** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| that's right... i think we can do it... i promise myself i can do it... i have the possibility of it being published why wouldn't i do it?... i have absolutely no excuse but to do it... with a little help... WE WILL DO IT!!! lol...see if that doesn't convince me... that's were the hedgerow filled fuzz and goo negative balls have been accumulating in my own procrastination... these aren't cute dust bunnies that anyone can just sweep away... these are those serious brain numbing kind... the fetal position kind of fuzz balls from me... all me... and i'm through with them... i have a project to finish... a huge project... i owe it to myself and i owe it to the book... so with that |
| i hate weakness in people... and what do i consider weakness? people who don't have an original idea in their head and can't speak for themselves... can't act for themselves... shit i've done it all my life why can't you? people who pick on others who have less power are weak... weak minded... weak willed...weak souled... just drip with weakness... i get annoyed so easily and i'm not even remotely hormonal right now... just try crossing this line ... just try... you'll get your teeth knocked out...trust me on this... i've done it before... i can do it again... lines are relative of course... my line is not yours... actually i'm incredibly easy going... you just don't know this... and you could never reallllly know...that's the beauty of the blog...  it's not just about attitude... it's about telling the truth... call me whatever you want... i've got more guts in my little finger than most people have in their whole body... i could go to war... kill someone if i needed to... self defense... or to protect someone you love... and yeah who speaks the truth these days... no one... everyone is freaking scared of losing their job or thought of a ostracization... okay bleak...bleak... bleak... (sumnation is often the easiest course to take) |
| okay because for some reason i've dived into the pit of whine lately... i'm forcing myself out *takes ice pick and starts to chip her way towards the glassy light under the snow pack* ooohhh look yellow pee... hokey dokie... went to see the Nutcracker an annual thing... we picked our tree yesterday at one of the local tree farms...actually i stayed in the car and the rest of the brave fearless treking types went out and braved the elements...serious elements... such as hail, wind and pelting rain... i stayed in the car with baby... we cooed together... we now have an xmas tree...sooooo gonna have some eggnog some brandy... actually maybe just the brandy and make passionate ornament love to the tree... unprotected even... should be prickly... oooohhh and i went to the gym today... jogged... got the uglies out of my head... and now i'm back to my sweet humble wonderful self... |
| The smoke filled room waited for the jungle gorilla to move on. He didn't have far to go as 'on' was close... to be 'on' was easy...'off' was hard... the smile was pinned on donkey style... someone had done it blindly... and there it sat convincing everyone it was truth... that love was truth. if you ever thought that love was relative according to the same theory... you knew it wasn't far to 'off' either. The nicotine addicted monkeys live at the cafe... the sweet stench of monkey dung follows the gorilla... no matter how blind the monkeys are...they know how to follow the gorilla, he is bigger than them... if someone is bigger potence follows... the sticky smell of potence makes their monkey tails drip between their legs in a sign of affection. He can't take criticism to do so would mean growth, except he can dish it out. He loves to create a drama by dishing it out. The monkeys chitter in glee at the humor. The gnawing away at the light of others. For a reward, they wait for the gorilla to pat a head or merely give a nod of agreement... he swipes away any disharmony by merely ignoring or changing history... donkey smiles can do that. |
| i have a cousin in england, who when we went to visit always acted as my big brother...he's got serious heart problems now...probably because he was a worrier... he was someone who was always quick with a joke... did well in math at school... but ended up having a hard time because his father came down on him hard... allot... he wasn't particularly 'nice' but he was 'fun' to be around and you always felt protected in his presence... such as a big brother is... i didn't mention this earlier...because like all things that tend to hit home and hurt i end up brushing them under the rug... or making divergent jokes or philosophical exploration about unrelated subjects... but this does hurt... he's young.. this shouldn't be happening to him...but it is... so i'm hoping to hook up with a webcam so we can say hi to him and his family on this xmas... he's had five stents put in his arteries... so yeah...it's serious... |
| i blew someone away with my book...because it wasn't about modern angst... so now i know what my next book should be about IF i ever finish my first one... as it's destiny... because well someone thought that's what i should write... and you know the saying 'the self-fulfilling prophecy' or how other's screw you up with their preconceived notions of what you should be like.... so there we go... btw: disclaimer... i'm actually in an extraordinarly good mood evven though this blog lately has been rather strange.... i believe i've been writing blog entries for soooo long WHEN I SHOULD BE FINISHING MY BOOK... that i'm fresh out of anything to say... and when you have nothing to say... welll whining is always a good route to go... and letting my poor readers suffer at my expense is really not past me... |
| i was really disturbed by this entry because it's soooo easy for alll of us to not remember why this country was founded... the people who came to the this country (and yes we are all immigrants) were fleeing religious persecution and to this end we need to remember our heritage for tolerance no matter race, religion, wealth... our core values are often tested in history because fear and ignorance makes asses out of all of us... anyway, check this out "Some days..."  it's simple don't be a bigot... don't support bigots and always ask questions about people who are calling others names and pointing fingers... they are often wrong. |
| i've been having a few conversations with internet friends about the whooolleeee capitalism is the way to end war yeah i ain't just T&A... no one bought it... and no one bought the argument that economics is the underlying reasons we fight war... someone said 'how about bin laden?' and i was like did i say economics was the ONLY reason people fight wars... *shrugs* he didn't buy that argument either... you know i was really good at debating once... well maybe i should go back to debating with my six year old... me: get dressed him: no me: get dressed or you go naked to school him: you want all the kids to laugh at me? me: no, but if you don't get dressed now you'll go to school naked him: okay... but i'll be laughed at... me: yes... you'll be laughed at... but i don't WANT you to be laughed at... seee i can outwit a six year old on some occasions.... |
| tooo be or not to BE I have travelled much... and bemoan where i haven't been BUT don't let my expressions fool YOU i am so sorry to make the land i live so small COMPARED to my bigness with WORDS and new meanings... I CAN TELL you i HAVE more to say than mere words can convey... oops... I WAS doing shakespeare AH well my gestures so unique conveyed the Angssst of poor HAMLET or was it macbeth? |
| arthur miller... *shrugs* being on a writing site i actually had this desire to share something about literature... lol... http://www.homework-online.com/doas/summaries.asp a man who is chewed up by the american dream... just a little more pessimism for a day that was actually very very wonderful... and i just realized that i am more competent than probably 85% of the world... *shrugs* but just like the characters in "death of a salesman" no one is going to give a rats ass in the end... because i don't have what the world is looking for... never had and never will... and frankly i'm okay with that... actually more than okay with that... i'm actually good with it... |
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