%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |  Empty or full, shiny or a little in need of washing and sometimes just cracked! |
|
I heard about these blogs and wondered why people would want to air their dirty laundry online. But I feel safe on this site so maybe it's worth a try. We'll see. This blog is complete. Please find my new blog from the link below...
|
When I find myself in times of trouble Mother Mary comes to me. Speaking words of wisdom Let it be. As morbid as it sounds I have requested this song, along with 'Everybody Hurts' at my funeral. Not that it's my favourite but because that is the way I wish I'd lived my life and I'd like others to take the message on board. This morning I awoke with another hangover and anger seething and knew my head would be thinking of nothing else but my son's bombshell all day. Not a pleasant feeling at all. I spent the whole morning making phone calls, sending desperate e-mails to people to see if anyone can talk some sense into my son and shedding tears. Paul has e-mailed me again but as yet I have not replied as I want some of those seconds, minutes, hours and days Tor so wisely wrote about to get my thoughts together in a calmer more logical way. I made another decision this afternoon. For my own sake I cannot allow negativity and anger to eat away at me or I too will self-destruct and by doing so I will alienate my son. That is something I couldn't live with. So for the moment I am going to try adopting the attitude that whatever happens, there ARE worse things. Even if I have to pretend I'm not so worried and force myself to get on with MY life and allow him to make mistakes and learn maybe from his. In other words, 'Let It Be.' It sounds easier than it feels. No doubt by tomorrow morning I'll be a wreck again but I MUST try to adopt the philosophy I wish I'd lived by, albeit a little late. A lot of your words and supportive comments have helped me reach this decision and for that I'm eternally grateful. |
| Thank you for all your kind comments, c-notes, mail and support. They have helped and the fact I feel worse today than yesterday does not mean I don't appreciate everything you do to hold me up. Yesterday panic stations set in. There were many phone calls, e-mails and time spent wracking our hearts as to if there was anything we could do. Every relative and friend has contacted Paul to try to make him at least delay his plans. His phone isn't working so that doesn't help matters, but last thing we still hadn't heard a word from him. Hubby even packed a case and moved some money about to fly out and talk to him face to face. I knew he wouldn't. Needless to say I had a hangover this morning and I dread to think how many cigarettes I've smoked. I feel rough and I know the answer doesn't lie in bottles or packets of any kind, but I am not a bundle of strength right now, if ever. This morning Paul e-mailed, then phoned and I'm afraid I didn't handle it very well. I am still distraught and I know I've upset him but there is nothing I can do to change that right now. It seems nothing anyone says or does is going to change his plans. His e-mail was full of naive and childish statements such as they never argue. I have pointed out not many two-week old lovers do, but it's water off a duck's back. I'm left stunned and feeling like I'm in the middle of a nightmare. It could be funny if it weren't so tragic and I have to question my ability as a parent if he will do something so impulsive and irrational. I cannot tell you how many emotions are competing for dominance in my whirling head. But what has made today worse than yesterday is the anger I feel. I hate aggression; my mother is aggressive and so is my husband. I've joked in the past about writing a novel entitled 'I Married My Mother.' So I try hard not to be aggressive and anger is a wasted emotion I don't like having. I'm angry at myself for being angry too, if you understand what I mean. I cannot list all the things I'm angry about, it would far exceed five and some nasty thoughts are best left unsaid at the moment. This afternoon I made the conscious decision to do nothing more or have any contact with my son until the anger has lessened. I cannot think anything through until it has subsided and surely it will have to at some stage. You may not agree with my decision but at this moment in time it's all I can come up with. I have managed to read and comment on a few blogs and I will try and put the Blogville News together at some stage if I can, but I'm afraid my sense of humour is on vacation right now and it will take some time to arrive home I suspect. Thanks to you all again, you have no idea how much your wise words and support mean to me. Please lend me your shoulders for a while longer - I promise not to take my anger out on you. |
| I'm not sure I should be writing this entry. I'm not sure I can make any sense or not look like a drama queen. I think I may have had too much to drink and may flap my mouth off more than I should. But what the hell? After the shock I received this morning nothing seems of any importance. What do you do when your only child is on the other side of the world, alone and vulnerable? What do you do when he claims he's fallen in love with a Cambodian girl and plans on marrying her? What do you do to accept the fact she has a one month old baby, an amputated arm and he's known her for only two weeks? What do you say to a son who thinks he's in love and can't understand why I cannot support him in this? Oh yes, he's 25 and it's his life and I must accept he'll make mistakes. We all do, but this is the son who didn't want to settle down, wanted to see the world and do so many things. I loved him for that. What do I do to stop him making the biggest mistake of his life? What do you do when you can't get in touch or talk things through with the child you love so much? He has the upper hand and can choose to ignore us while he goes ahead and self-destructs, What do you do when you have stood by and admired and supported a son who wanted to do so much and has now been sucked in by some poor, pathetic circumstances? The world was his oyster. Now he chooses to take on a woman from an alien culture with much baggage and cannot see why his parents are devastated. He's an innocent, a soft hearted soul, a lovely person but I want to scream at him not to do this. I tell others to take one day at a time. I know worse things happen and at least he's alive and well. But two months of travelling, seeing much hardship and being unwell convinces me he's not thinking straight. He plans on marrying in January and bringing her back here soon after. I will never cast him aside or be unsupportive but if he goes ahead with this, I know it will be one of the hardest things I've ever had to come to terms with. I'm not racial, prejudiced or judgmental. All I want is my son's happiness and for him not to make the mistakes I have. Excuse me, I'm emotionally drained and maybe I shouldn't post this. My heart is breaking to think the one light in my life is contemplating what I can only see as a disaster. I apologise for neglecting you all but my head's a mess and I can't focus on anything. I know you'll be supportive but don't think I'm not aware there are worse things happening. But for now I can't get my head round anything and I know you'll understand. |
| When I signed in this morning the date made me hesitate for a moment until I realised it was FIVE years ago today I decided to join this site. I don't remember how I came across WDC or what happened on that particular November 9th but not for one minute could I have imagined the difference it would make to my life five years on. One of my favourite uncles used to say it's a good job we don't know what's going to happen in the future and I tend to agree. Oh, in some ways it would be an advantage to be forewarned of certain things we'd have preferred not to happen or know we'd handle differently given the opportunity, but on the whole I'd rather leave the future to pan out by itself. I'm not sure I believe everything happens for a reason but I can look back and see where certain regrettable incidents have gone on to present me with welcome opportunities. One thing I'm sure of is that out of all the writing sites online I'm glad I chose this one. My first few months on here were rather inactive and it took me a long time to work out how certain things worked and how to get things into my portfolio. There then followed a spasmodic relationship where I enjoyed receiving and giving reviews, learning more about the site and achieving some success in contests. I then made a few contacts and enjoyed using the site on a daily basis, loading more work into my portfolio and upgrading my membership to be able to take advantage of more features. Eighteen months ago I saw the introduction to the 'blog' on the site. And the rest is history to use a worn-out cliche. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine the impact, involvement and relationships this simple activity would bring. So here I sit five years on pondering on all that has happened during those years. Some good things, some bad, some happy times, some periods wracked with anxiety, but such is the way of life and I'm just grateful to have had those years and particularly for the joy and friendship I have found here. Five years ago I could never have imagined my son would be travelling around the world and that it would be the invention of the 'blog' that would keep me in touch with him and able to read of his adventures. I'm happy too, on my fifth anniversary to be involved in an adventure of my own, albeit fictional and rather zany to say the least. How great it is that so many like-minded writers can produce something so funny and spontaneous. I apologise for falling behind on reading and commenting but I've had a lot on lately, but I just wanted to say a big thank you to all my friends and readers on this special day. Special because of you special people. Sniffle...Cheers...Here's to you...Hic...and I WUB you all. |
| I have a friend I went to college with I nicknamed 'By the Same Token,' because she uses the expression so often. Anyway, last night I decided it was time I gave her a long overdue phone call, something I always dread. I lined up my drinks, snacks and cigarettes then dialled. 'Hello, I didn't know if you'd be in tonight.' 'Not usually...pub...ill...faint...neck...physio...by the same token...work tomorrow.' 'How is the job?' 'Terrible...paperwork...meetings...wages...pension...by the same token...retirement.' 'Well, can't you...?' 'No...outgoings...new roof...bathroom...kitchen units...plumbers...by the same token...boilers...daughter's wedding.' 'How are the...?' 'Wedding...bridesmaids...honeymoon...holidays...by the same token...grandchildren.' 'I better go now...' 'Did I tell you...daughters...ex-hubby...more holidays...weight...by the same token...granchildren again.' 'I really must go.' 'Okay...college reunion...cinema...theatre...restaurant...by the same token...holidays...grandchildren.' YAWN 'Okay I'm going now.' CLICK No 'How are you?' 'Where's Paul now?' 'Are you coping with the parents?' 'How's the writing going?' or 'Tell me your news.' Is it any wonder I hate telephones? But by the same token at least they keep me in touch with my travelling son. The one who has a severe eye infection at the moment and cannot travel into Thailand as the infection is contagious, so has had to part from his friend again and remain in Cambodia. Plus the fact his mobile isn't working but by the same token at least we have his travel blog. Except he hasn't made an entry and we're a bit worried. But by the same token, no news is good news they say. |
We interrupt the accident action over in Nada   's portfolio for a reminder that in only twenty days it will be time for the twentieth addition of The Blogville News. If those who contribute on a regular basis could spend a little time away from the chaos chapters to think about and write their efforts some time in the near future, it would be greatly appreciated. Remember too that ccstring needs your questions so he can keep up the high standards and intellectual responses to your deep and profound enquiries. So when you aren't involved in the farce fantasy on the high seas just drop him a line. Don't forget to vote for your favourite blogger as well. Let's see if we can beat last month's seventeen votes. I think activities on board the cruiser may have altered our perspective and opinions of certain characters and it will be interesting to see who receives the most votes this month. So whether you favour one of those funny buggers bloggers or prefer the more reflective souls, please send your votes to me. I am contemplating forming an official 'group' for the Blogville News when I can eventually work out how to set one up. If you'd like to be added officially to the group just let me know, either in the comments or via e-mail if you prefer. Okay, that's the end of the commercial break. Hurry to the bog then get back to the eccentric exciting stuff on the SS...does anyone know what that damned ship is called? |
| Okay, you say chili and I say chilli. You say color and I say colour. You say program and I say programme. You say maneuver and I say manoeuvre. You say aluminum and I say aluminium. What I'd like to know is what you do with all those excess 'l's ''u's 'm's 'e's 'o's and 'i.s you remove from words? Do you store them somewhere to gain interest, trade them with other countries or just dump them on wasteland somewhere? I do not mean to criticise/criticize or cause offence/offense in any way but am just fascinated by the marvellous/marvelous ways our languages differ. I realise/realize some of you may be sceptical/skeptical but in my defence/defense it was David McClain 's humourous/humorous entry yesterday which caused me to analyse/analyze these differences. I have no wish to start any arguements/arguments.This morning I stuck my annual 'No trick or treat' notice on our door. I apologise/apologize to those who enjoy this event and hope you won't harbour/harbor any ill feeling, but in England the behaviour/behavior of our little dears isn't always honourable/honorable and can leave a nasty flavour/flavor in the mouth. The activities centre/center around causing hassle and for the elderly and sensitive are scary enough to give them the shits diarrhoea/diarrhea. Not my favourite/favorite time of the year as you may have already realised/realized. It sounds far more organised/organized on the other side of the pond. Tomorrow I'll be travelling/traveling to my sisters and staying until Friday. I shall endeavour/endeavor to check in on WDC when I can but if I don't materialise/materialize as often as usual I'm sure you'll all realise/realize why. Okay I better go and pack my pyjamas/pajamas, jewellery/jewelry, cheque/check book, grey/gray boots and woollen/woolen jumper/sweater. It's turned decidedly 'chily?'  And to those who celebrate and enjoy the day in it's more traditional way may I wish you happy Halloween or should that be Haloween?  |
| It's been a rather harrowing few days preparing Nottingham for the arrival of an ark and looking into the possibilities of travelling to the CC boat yard, but at least it's kept my mind off other things for a while. I was rather concerned last week to learn my son and his travelling companion were to split up and do their own things for a few days. They had travelled to Saigon, or Ho Chi Minh City as it's now called, although even the locals still refer to it as Saigon apparently. Mark left the next day with some other backpackers to travel into Cambodia by boat, but Paul decided to stay alone a while longer in Saigon, then travel into Cambodia by bus. I use the term' alone' loosely as it seems there are so many foreign travellers in S.E. Asia you're never alone for long if you're carrying a backpack. But it was still worrying. I was relieved this morning to access their travel blogs and read they are now reunited in Phnom Penh. It sounds like they've found the visits to the Killing Fields and prisons a very interesting but sobering experience. Life today in Cambodia sounds far from ideal too, but they're certainly experiencing different cultures to the full. Thank you to all of you who have read and commented on their blogs. I was rather amused by Paul's statement,' Vietnam now rates as my number one country in the world.' He's hardly the seasoned traveller as yet and I remember him saying the same thing about Australia a few years ago after his visit. Time will tell whether or not he changes his opinion. But it got me thinking which is my favourite country. I'm not that well-travelled either but have visited three Greek islands, France, Switzerland, Northern Italy, Ibiza, Tunisia, Cyprus, Sardinia and Portugal. I was also in St Louis, Missouri for a year of my life, but as it was my first my memory fails me. I think I'd choose Portugal from my list. So which is your favourite country or place? I suspect many will say their hometown. Admittedly England has its beauty spots and is renowned for its history and green landscapes. We have a beautiful coastline, quaint villages and in my opinion London has to be one of the best cities in the world but I could never claim its the best place on earth. Still, over the next few weeks who knows where we may visit? Okay it might only be cybertravel but it keeps this tiny mind amused. I look forward to the development of our adventure. And for those who've not yet become involved, here's the link to a place called insanity.
|
| PLANS FOR TODAY - 1. Clean bog. 2. Water houseplants. 3. Dust downstairs. 4. Wash and dry laundry. 5. Fetch parent's medication. REALITY OF TODAY - 1. Reply to mail and comment on blogs. 2. Read new Interactive story entries. 3. Write new chapter for Interactive. 4. Start printing photo's of WDC friends to make collage. 5. Force hand to direct cursor to 'logout' and dash to chemists for parent's medication. I had a word with the pharmacist while I was there. I described the symptoms and effects of my condition. He looked a little perplexed but then assured me there is no treatment available or scientific research into the cure for writingdotcomitis. So, that's okay for the moment then. I'm going to stay here until they come to take me away in a white van to be a guinea pig for medical science.  |
I was very amused by Nada 's entry the other day covering the conversation she and hubby had while he was switching T.V. channels. Okay, I was very amused by yesterday's entry too but that's another story...to be continued I hope.  The habits and remarks recorded in the television entry are ones I'm also very familiar with. I accuse my hubby of 'boxism' in that he constantly watches the box and also puts characters into boxes. 'Hasn't he been in...?' 'Doesn't she look like...? ' 'Hasn't he got strange...?' 'Look at her enormous...' 'Doesn't he sound like...?' etc etc Well, frankly my dear... I'm not a big television fan for several reasons. Despite the zillions of channels I can find very little of quality worth watching and commercial breaks drive me nuts. Anyway I can think of a hundred and one things I'd rather be doing. Hubby on the other hand is the proverbial 'square eyes' and spends all night, every night watching, recording and flipping channels. If I had a pound note for every debate we've had about television versus computer I'd be able to fund every member of WDC in retirement. He's not a great computer fan despite the fact he hops on and off it all the time he's in during the day and frequently sits with the laptop running while glued to the television. Get out the way chickens. One thing we do have in common however is a love of animals and the environment. Since David McClain introduced us to the Wavelit site we've both become a bit addicted to it. Our house often sounds like the African grasslands in stereo as he peruses the africam on the downstairs computer and I have it running on this one upstairs. Frequently we shout up or downstairs if there's new activity. 'There's a herd of wildebeast now,' 'Have you seen that buffalo's massive...?' 'A crane's just landed on the water hole,' etc etc. Yesterday, unbeknown to me, hubby had made an appointment with an insurance agent and was sitting downstairs discussing policies with an upper crust, smart-suited gentleman. Imagine what a Wally I felt when I discovered this after hairing downstairs yelling 'Have you seen that baboon's arse right in front of the camera?'  P.S. I am trying and failing miserably to design a few new headers for the Blogville News. I can design them but no way can I get them to save into WDC as I want them to look. I know they have to be JPeg or gif files and I know they need to be no bigger than 400x400 pixels but beyond that I'm stumped. If any of you technical whizzkids can help me out with advice I'd be indebted for life. Maybe watching television is easier after all. But what is life without challenges? |
 Log in to Leave Feedback |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
