I really like your article. It is very insightful, and I can understand your thoughts, and or feelings on this topic. I also greatly agree with your last paragraph, well written.
I agree with your assessment. A religious, and Theocratic government, has been the destruction of human beings through out history.
Religion (any kind), self entitlement, selfishness, narcissism, have all been the bane of man/woman kind. It is continually repeated throughout history, generally because human's have extremely short memories. Or they hold hope in the wrong places.
Very interesting description of your experiences with the supernatural/spirits/etc. It's good that you are able to remember and write all of this down. Writing keeps the event/s fresh in the mind.
For the actual story, this is a nice draft. I can see this being part of a really riveting story. Possibly embellishing the encounter experiences with types of communication between main character and spirits? A type of mystery which, through the main character, unfolds with the help of the spirits.
There are a few grammar and misspellings throughout your story. All in all, a good start.
Reading this, reminds me of young love. Young people, youth. All the doubts, and unsureness that is constantly felt in those precious, yet difficult years.
I can see these words written in a book, or even a part of a movie.
Writing all these deep emotions, thoughts, and feelings, I think, is most often the core of really splendid work.
Thank you for writing, and sharing this. Please keep writing. I look forward to seeing more.
If possible, it could be broken up into paragraphs. Each paragraph built up with events describing why, or how, each event began. "Why the breakup", "What was actually sent, and why", things like these.
You're very good at describing feelings and emotions, I felt and understood them all.
Thank you for writing this and I look forward to see where you go with it.
Interesting story. Unfortunately, it's an endless story that is, and has, been experienced time and time again throughout history.
It could use a little polishing, but the specifics came through very well.
I like the questions at the end, and would like to hear the answers, as I'm sure, there will be many different one.
Here are my answers:
Do you think they didn't abandon their father because of what people may say? No. I think it's, unfortunately, an ingrained obligation that, because they are a parent, it's wrong to abandon them, no matter how evil they were.
Do you think they will forgive their father eventually? Some might, and do. I would say it is the right thing to do, not for the father, but rather for the child. Carrying anger and hate, is a cancer that will only hurt the carrier further.
What would you do if you were in his position? Having been in this situation personally, I forgave and cut all ties with this human tragedy.
Lovely story. I enjoyed reading your description of watching the son grow up. The introduction to music, and how it carried through his life.
Nicely written. And I can completely relate to the statement, "Me? I mastered flipping from one radio station to another while driving, trying to avoid incessant commercials, and hoping to find a station airing a song by my beloved Beatles." One thing I can't stand is commercials!
This is very well written. I describes feelings/emotions/thoughts that are a part of the lives of so many.
You are able to describe the difficulties, loneliness and solitude that is associated with living with these types of feeling/emotions/thoughts.
Your story is very insightful, which from what I have seen, is generally the first step to finding ways to master, and learn to be the master of your mind/thoughts/feelings.
A nice follow up story would be, because of this insight, the steps taken that can be taken to get control of and over these feeling/emotions/thoughts, and ultimately the mind.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.22 seconds at 7:29pm on May 04, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
)