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164 Public Reviews Given
164 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by Dragonfly
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well written. So many people do not realize the difficulties, both financially and physically, these drivers endure. Hopefully the future will rectify this situation.
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Review by Dragonfly
Rated: E | (3.0)
A lovely farewell story.
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Review by Dragonfly
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a great guide, with lots of excellent advise.

I can agree completely with wanting to garden, rather than clean house.

I laughed when I read the, "And two, I get little pleasure out of doing the same tasks over and over again, knowing they are only going to have to be done again the next day or the next week." Boy can I relate to that statement!

Love your writing, I feel, and see every word.
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Review of Sweet Teeth  
Review by Dragonfly
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a great story, enjoyed every word. I loved it. Very well written. Fun, and very sweet *Wink*

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Review of SMOKEY'S LESSON  
Review by Dragonfly
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was a very entertaining story/experience. I really liked it. Clever insight/remark on "Jim's" part at the end. *Geek*.

It was a really an easy, as well as, good read.

I did have to reread the following paragraph a few times, it just didn't flow right (and that could be just me, probably is):
Jim Schwartzenberger had a wry sense of humor and an unusual skill that intrigued the scouts. He would string a hammock between two trees, and any time, day or night, that he eased into the netting he could doze off within five minutes. And to the delight of the scouts within another five minutes he would be snoring louder than a freight train!

I thought maybe you might consider something like this?: Jim Schwartzenberger had a wry sense of humor and an unusual skill that intrigued the scouts. At any time, he would string a hammock between two trees, ease into the netting and doze off within five minutes. And to the delight of the scouts, within another five minutes, he would be snoring louder than a freight train!

Thank you for writing this experience, really enjoyed it.
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Review by Dragonfly
Rated: E | (5.0)
Exceptional article! This should be handed out to ALL students heading to college. I would add, possibly handing this out to high school students, as I see more, and more, high school students falling prey to these same situations.

Thank you for writing this and writing it so well.
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Review of is She Crazy  
Review by Dragonfly
Rated: ASR | (2.5)
Interesting possibility for a thriller.
Couple of questions:
You start off with "He", how do we know it is a "He" and not a "She"? If there were some kind of proof inserted that it was a man, then the second sentence would make sense.

She sees that same 2 truck, is this at the same time, or is it at different times she sees one or the other?

The last 2 sentences: "Yes she really did hear her voice and her snapping fingers coming from her the wall next to her neighbor. But doctor please some more of these" I didn't understand what was being said here at all.

Can't wait to see where you take this story, it does sound intriguing.

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Review by Dragonfly
Rated: E | (4.5)
Thank you for your writing, it is spot on. Anger is such a heavy weight, cancer, and all around downer. It will literally eat you from the inside out.

And, yes knowing this, it does not making forgiveness any easier, or make the anger go away. There seems to be these little "moment reminder" that hit and open up an old/recent wound/s.

For me, writing, writing, and then writing some more has been the best form of venting and releasing that pent up anger (sometimes severe rage). I also found, reading writings, such as yours, helps.
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Review by Dragonfly
Rated: E | (5.0)
Nicely written, I'm in suspense waiting to find out what happened to change the professors mind.

Another good story!

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Review by Dragonfly
Rated: E | (5.0)
Excellent article, very well written. Am I ready to hit that cold shower, maybe *Wink*

Thank you for submitting this. I look forward to ready more of your writings.
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Review of Vera Facies  
Review by Dragonfly
Rated: E | (3.0)
This was intriguing but really difficult to read only because it was all one paragraph. It would read so much easier if broken up into multiple paragraphs. *Confused*

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Review of Lilith  
Review by Dragonfly
Rated: E | (3.5)
Nice start. Nice description of the storm, I can see and feel it happening in my mind. Your story is intriguing, makes me want to find out what happens next.

Good job, can't wait to read more.
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Review of Addiction  
Review by Dragonfly
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Interesting thoughts on addiction. You covered the whys, whats and grip it holds very well. Nicely done.
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Review of Lasting  
Review by Dragonfly
Rated: E | (5.0)
This was very nice. You had me in the first sentence. I could feel every word, you brought your story to life, excellent writing.

Thank you for sharing and I look forward to seeing more of your writings.

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Review of JUDGING PEOPLE  
Review by Dragonfly
Rated: E | (3.0)
This is an interesting perspective, and an idea that has been discussed throughout millennia. A great follow up would be an article on, "How can a person learn to listen, or learn, another's side of a story to better understand."

That being said, thank you for writing this. I hope to read more from you

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Review of In the Night  
Review by Dragonfly
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Good story. Has me wondering, dream or reality? I could feel the despair, the fear, the loss and my mind fills in all the possibilities of what could have happened. Was there a child, is she the child. Which I'm guessing the the whole idea, well done.

A few corrections, but overall, I liked your story.
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Review by Dragonfly
Rated: E | (5.0)
Interesting concept. I'll probably reread this several times to get the full grasp.
Well written.
Thank you
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68
Review by Dragonfly
Rated: E | (2.5)
Very good description of what being a victim of abuse is like and some of what it entails. The fear, the abuse, and even the part of getting drawn into a relationship with an abuser.

This is a good draft. Needs some polishing, then it will really shine.
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Review by Dragonfly
Rated: E | (2.5)
Interesting.
I had difficulty reading the light blue script/writing, really hard on the eyes.
Second sentence, first part is good, the second - she gazed on the two with love, maybe something describing how she came upon the two or who the two were?
I liked the rest.
Thank you for sharing.
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Review by Dragonfly
Rated: E | (5.0)
Really nice! I'm sitting on the edge of my chair, envisioning every action described, good job!

Very well written. A good writer makes their words come to life, yours are very much so.

Thank you and look forward to reading more of your writings.
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Review of Feeling Gassy  
Review by Dragonfly
Rated: E | (4.0)
Very cute story, very entertaining.
I liked how you introduced the home, then turned office, and its location.
Incredible that the first explosion wasn't more thoroughly investigated, as someone could have been seriously hurt.
Thank you for sharing and look forward to reading more of your writings. *Geek*
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Review by Dragonfly
Rated: E | (5.0)
Not sure if this is the right place to donate, hope so. Here you go, thank you for all you do. *Heart* *Heart* *Heart*
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Review by Dragonfly
Rated: E | (3.5)
I've gone in and put in ( ) for my thoughts on this story.
Your story starts off as a journal and then goes into a story. The story keeps jumping back and forth. Really good ideas, explanations of thoughts, as well as concepts. If you could gather like thoughts/explanations/ideas/concepts within itself, then blend them, it would read much easier.


Chapter 5 - Technology upticks and my role clarifies

So much has occurred as the human diaspora journeys to our new homes on immense arkships. It took over a decade, and the assistance of other intelligent life, to execute this plan. This is my journal documenting the momentous undertaking to save humanity and evacuate the planet. As I look back upon our species grand adventure, I find it easier to encapsulate our story as a summary of each year that the planet’s evacuation unfolded. Our story advances a year in this chapter, to 2013.

(I would mark each section, as you stated, as a journal entry, ie “2013, Day One, or Week One or Month One, The beginning, I was selected”, next entry “Day Two, Week Two, or month two......”)

I was selected. I was one of many (maybe: students in Gaia and not “on”, since it's a place not a planet?) on Gaia, our earth school, (a place) whose genetics allowed consciousness to expand. (the first part of the next sentence is an interesting concept but there's no connection between this sentence and the previous or following sentences. What wording might be added to connect it?) Transcending limited religious dogmas that stunt morality, another form of mental addiction developing souls used as a crutch in their growth, (maybe move that statement somewhere else and continue with the rest?) I was one who found a path through many lifetimes to learn how to open awareness beyond the five senses, to be open to higher vibrations of consciousness. That was enough to be selected to help our species survive. Among many humans who were to serve in an ambassadorial role, I was to assist in the coordination which would occur for our region.

(Journal entry Day ?, Week ?, or Month ?)
The earth school is a powerful teacher. Little did I know that the struggles in the various chapters of my life would serve to grow my consciousness. Some of those struggles (maybe were instead of meant?) meant physically moving to new locations. A chapter of living in Southern California came to a close, which allowed me to move to Seattle. (why did closing the Southern California chapter allow you to move to Seattle? And why was it considered a struggle?) The chapter of life in that big city ended to allow me the opportunity to move to the mountains outside of urbanity. (Again, why and how did the ending of those chapters allow you the move? Or are you still talking about Southern California?)

(maybe: Once in the mountains of Seattle, we built a guest ranch, open to the public and it began gaining lots of notice.) It was here that a Melchizedek took notice and tuned into my intuition and intention. They were looking for such humans as myself. Always, The Melchizedek assisted from the side, helping build my skills and fortifying our mountain ranch.
(maybe consider entering a paragraph describing what a Melchizedek is/was?) (Also, who is the “we”, “our”, since the narrator has only said “I” so far. If the “our” is the “I” and the Melchizedek, then maybe adding a sentences describing the unification?)

It was going to be the spot which humanity would funnel, in order to disembark this planet. (Next sentence, a thought, a goal or the current reality? Because of the Melchizedek or the school or on your own?) I was preparing for a (or the) mountain ranch to become a space port. (The following, how was it all revealed to you?) The anomalies around the sun were revealed to me as humanity’s interim home. Vast ark ships, some as large as a moon, contained entire ecologies which would house the various groups of humanity. An exodus from this planet was coming, and we would need to get as many of us humans, along with a sampling of land masses, up to those ships. Our timeline to do so had been expedited. To make this evacuation happen, much needed to change on Earth, and it needed a catalyst to accelerate that change; to quicken the breaking of power structures that would only limit humanity’s progress.

(Journal entry Day ?, Week ?, or Month ?)

The dismantling of elite power continued in 2013, when the United Nations declared this the year of the ‘selfie’. It was an amazing nod to how quickly new technologies were being adopted by the global population. The Melchizedeks, beings of pure consciousness, with no need for a biological vessel to contain their energies, were actively engaged in bringing humanity a technological quickening that would be of great aid in the coming exodus. (Not sure how a declaration of the year of the 'selfie', the dismantling and the Melchizedeks being of pure consciousness connect here. They all seem like different ideas that are not connected)

(In reading the rest of the story, I no longer have a feel as though it were something written in a journal. Writing is good, story line is good, concept is good. Again, it's more of a story than a journal.)

These beings, appearing as a ball of light, have a decade to prepare us biologically based humans for an evacuation from this planet. Such is a necessity if humans, a very unique expression of consciousness, are to survive as a species.

Normally, a natural evolutionary path for humans to advance our consciousness growth, and become very similar to Melchizedeks, would take many centuries. However, our solar system got its timetable altered significantly, interrupting this often repeated pattern. The earth was currently experiencing the end of a 26,000 year cycle that sees our planet wobble on its axis, with poles reversing, an increase of teutonic activity, and major climate shifts. Our planet should have seen these events calming down. They weren’t.

Instead, the pace seemed to be increasing. Storms were intensifying, new volcanoes were surfacing, earthquakes swarming (swarming? unimaginable seismic disturbance maybe?). A celestial event that was to happen at the end of the next earth cycle, another 26,000 years in the future, had begun to unfold in our present time. Our time on this planet was suddenly limited.

Humanity as a species would be doomed if we stayed here. The Melchizedeks were concerned. The growth and expansion of consciousness was an important component to the very fabric of the universe. To lose humans, and our inherent uniqueness in growing consciousness, would be a great setback. Humans needed to be taught just how precious a species we are to the cosmos.

To teach us, the Melchizedeks influenced not only technological breakthroughs, but also leaps forward in science and physics. (to help us comprehend that) The age of understanding the quantum realm was upon us. We would quickly learn that Reality is a product of Consciousness. Meaning, or Information, could only exist when it was perceived.

This explosion in understanding would be unveiled through the study of entangled particles. We would learn that their properties were only known, once we measured them. As above, so below. The insights we would gain by studying the smallest of quanta, would directly apply to how we could, not only perceive our reality, but begin to shape it as well.

With the explosion of population growth in humanity across the globe, our influence upon this reality was undeniable. Our growth and achievements were expanding at an exponential rate, but our awareness and connection to consciousness was not keeping pace. This imbalance contributed to what can only be described as a cosmic hiccup. Humanity, unbeknownst to itself, made the cosmic record skip ahead. What was to occur at the end of the next wobble, 26,000 years in the future, was happening much sooner than projected.

As above, so below. (I see you really like that statement) Our collective consciousness was growing with the increase in our population. Without intentional intervention, the loss would be too great. Humanity would need to move and spread out. Humanity would need to seed the cosmos like dandelion seeds spread in the wind.

The pace of science and technology increased. So did the pace of telepathic communication with those humans who were ready to receive. It takes a coordinated effort to move a species and resettle them in new environments. It is even more challenging when such a move needs to be ushered in quicker than allowing a species to evolve to it at their own pace.

To get us to the ecological ark ships required huge transports that could literally lift mountains. Not only would humanity be on the move, so too would vast tracts of land along with the myriad forms of life from microbes to whales.

The valley (in which) I now lived would be cut out and lifted too! It also presented a perfect parking spot for humanity’s transport. Planning was already in the works for a unique craft that would settle upon the long mountain ridge lines to the north and south of the valley. A craft the width of the valley with a length over 50 miles would fill the sky soon for humans to board. There would be many such crafts across North America and all the other continents.

(I stopped making suggestions here. Please read the opening part of my review)
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Review by Dragonfly
Rated: E | (3.5)
I've read and reread your story and I like the story line, I find it intriguing. Below is my critique.

In reading your story, there is a lot of cool information and lots of ideas about different things in regards to points I think you are making, but I think they kind of take away from the main point of the story, the focus. I could be completely wrong, most probably am. These are only thoughts on my part. I apologize beforehand if I've over stepped my "critique" boundaries. I will not get offended if you think it full of bull and ignore it.

Anyway, here are my thoughts:

The Sasquatch are real. They live in tribes, and no, they are not a native species. Who would have ever guessed? But that’s the least of our worries regarding our lives on this planet we call Earth. (This fact is cool but doesn't go smoothly with the next statement in your story. It's like it belongs in another story)

This seems a better starter, it grabbed my attention right away:
It’s a week after the great awakening of the Earth on March 11, 2011. Having its influence rooted in our sun, a dormant cycle of transformative tectonic plate activity, has left Japan suffering from a massive earthquake, shattering parts of the island nation, and sending tsunamis across the Pacific ocean.

Before March of 2011, being only a year out from the ever-talked about Mayan calendar, the common topic would have been about volcanoes, earthquakes and solar cycles. (I couldn't understand how do you got to the next statement in your original writing about realization, because there is no reference to why there was a realization. I thought maybe something like) Now with the devastation of Japan fresh on everyone's mind, and less than a year from the possibility of other cataclysmic events yet to come, mankind is now searching deeper into its existence.

In our search, we've come to realize throughout history, with the many destructive events, civilizations have come and gone from this planet. From those events, very few survived to leave behind verbal accounts, yet accounts there were. Each account, story developed into the forms of legends, some biblical in their re-telling, some unbelievable, some still mysterious, traveling the natural course of being passed down from one generation to the next, soon to become as dilute as an Aesop fable being told to a child, not knowing what was true and what was not.

In our search through human kind's existence, an unlikely truth was found. Little did we know, there was a new realization to our reality, we were not alone. We were never alone. The truth has always been, we were watched, always being cared for from a distance, just like children. Only these children would learn that they are about to grow up very fast.

I’m getting ahead of myself, and my tiny role in this…

The first inkling that there was more to our earthly changes occurring from Mother Nature working her magic, or mankind tinkering with global warming, came from our own source of light, the sun. For millennia, man has been monitoring the sun's and its 11 year solar cycle with its effect on Earth. The monitoring now in the hands of NASA, and the projection of the end to the upcoming 11 year solar cycle in the year 2025, more and more questions and concerns are being presented.

Leaving the studies of space matters in the hands of others, has this left us earthlings rather complacent in regards to the cosmic scheme that has been unfolding in these grand cycles. How can we blame ourselves? We literally have been living in an ecologically blue bubble, a tiny mass of Gaia we refer to as home. Why should we have ever worried?

Big game changers in our environment have never really threatened humanity, for as humans, we have always been survivors first and foremost. How could we know, or suspect, that this time would be different? Perhaps ignoring the mass denial of the tenets of truth that had been literally spelled out for us in so many various forms: the pyramids, the Nazca Lines, the Mayan calendar, there were so many other clues. Some of our population, the Free Masons, as one example, along with remnants of other secret societies, knew something was afoot, but none having the complete picture.

It's ok, for from what I am being told, it is not to late. Ignoring the signs has only put us a bit behind our evacuation schedule. That’s all. No need to worry, it is the benefit of being watched over. There’s a nice pastoral planet out there (and some slightly more developed ones) that await our arrival. We just need to focus on our present reality, then adjust and adapt a few items on our new course for salvation. Can humanity make this transition successfully without destroying itself in the process, only time will tell.
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Review of A friend  
Review by Dragonfly
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like your writing, very nice. Easy to read and understand. Interesting twist at the end, a cool surprise.

Thank you
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