I found this piece in the Newbie Newsletter. Congratulations! I enjoyed this interesting Short Short. It was nifty how you tied the resotion together with the title.
It's nice to make your acquaintance. Welcome to WDC. I'm sure you'll enjoy our community.
I suppose I write more in what is considered Mainstream or Literary. But I don't like labels. A good story can encompass many of the catagories you listed. Life has romance, action. history, fantasy abd so much more. I begin with a character, always a character--look at "Return of the Jedi" or "Gone with the Wind".
Well, it looks like not too many people want to get from A to B. That's usually my first question no matter what I'm doing. But I would have lots of other questions, too. It would be out-of-sight (did I really say out-of-sight) to talk to the actual man Jesus. If I could pick five people from history, he would be at the top of the list, no doubt.
I will be reviewing your entry in The Classic Story Contest. My opinions matter in the judging of this contest, but, beyond that, only you can decide whether they are useful or not. As in any review, feel free to disregard any comments or suggestions you don't find helpful. I appreciate your participation and hope you and your writing benefit in some way.
GREETINGS Observer,
IMPRESSION: A sad and insightful tale that utilizes astronomy, mystery and suspense to accomplish its goal. An interesting read.
CHARACTERS: Eddie is an interesting chap. You did a good job in your characterization by way of backstory, and his chosen hobby, of course. Spending time in the tavern is a nice touch.
PLOT/SETTING: Setting up his hobby, and the fact that it hadn't rained in so long set your storyline in motion. The mysterious sighting, and object in the garden, is very creative.
STRUCTURAL/TECHNICAL/GRAMMATICAL: I enjoyed your descriptive passages, like "raindrops as big as peanuts" and the skyward information. I know "mascot" is used correctly, but it hit me wrong. Usually mascot represents a person or animal. Amulet, charm or juju is normally seen with objects, like Eddie's stone.
I would rather see tradition puncuation in the dialogue, but that's a personal choice.
FINAL THOUGHTS AND SUGGESTIONS: The theme of mankind's search for meaning is protrayed very well.
I found this piece in the Newbie Newsletter. Congratulations. I enjoyed it very much. It's an excellent "short short" with an insightful and meaninful resolution. Nice job!
Welcome to WDC. It's nice to make your aquaintance. Write on!
I chose this piece because the title caught my eye. Very effective! I forgot about it until the resolution of the story. You did an excellent job describing Duke observing everyone at the beach, aand his thought process. It created good tension and suspense. I remember this prompt in the Official Contest. This was a insightful take on the photo.
The Times really are A-Changin'. Happy anniversary, amigo. I wish you many more, and mucho happiness.
This is an extraodinary list of helpful articles. Like me. i'm sure plenty of writers are thankful that you put it all together. I've only begun to dig in, but will flag this for future reference. Thanks.
I've added this to my
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I will be reviewing your entry in The Classic Story Contest. My opinions matter in the judging of this contest, but, beyond that, only you can decide whether they are useful or not. As in any review, feel free to disregard any comments or suggestions you don't find helpful. I appreciate your participation and hope you and your writing benefit in some way.
GREETINGS Ainie,
IMPRESSION: A tale of two tender souls in love, and the unexpected magic that life can bring.
CHARACTERS: James ans Anna are both tender and sensitive. James had the most effect on me, though. His timid personality, and his desire to please Anna, won my heart.
Clive is a great side character and works well in the story. You show how important one friend can be. Nice writing!
PLOT/SETTING: Anna belief that she couldn't have children is the driving force. James having to travel aids your plotline, and I always love stories that include anything to do with music.
STRUCTURAL/TECHNICAL/GRAMMATICAL: The piece flowed smoothly and there wasn't any noticable problems. It would read better if you left a space in between dialogue exchanges.
He lied--should be he lay
FINAL THOUGHTS AND SUGGESTIONS: I thought you might have inserted a little more drama, or crisis, into the story, also, the pace could have been picked up in places. The pair basically agreed on everthing. That said, I love happy ending and enjoyed your story.
I will be reviewing your entry in The Classic Story Contest. My opinions matter in the judging of this contest, but, beyond that, only you can decide whether they are useful or not. As in any review, feel free to disregard any comments or suggestions you don't find helpful. I appreciate your participation and hope you and your writing benefit in some way.
GREETINGS Fairport,
IMPRESSION: A revealing story of a time gone by in our society, and the fruit of it's consequences.
CHARACTERS: Patrick is a sympathetic character, like so many others from that era, who learns the skills necessary to survive at a very early age.
Michael fit in perfectly and plays his part to a tee.
For my money, Sister Margaret's character is the most telling; she plays the antagonist very well.
PLOT/SETTING: You set the scene smartly, let the reader know the time period(Vietnam War reference), and use good sensory description to broaden the reader's pleasure.
The scuffle over the dropped toy moved the story forward and provides the drama.
STRUCTURAL/TECHNICAL/GRAMMATICAL: {/b The figure on the wall(and its description helps to drive home the seriousness of the event in a small child. Nice writing!
I didn't notice any grammatical mistakes or typos. The piece read very well.
FINAL THOUGHTS AND SUGGESTIONS: Your ending is effective. although, it might have been interesting to see how Patrick handled his mothers questions about his day at school.
Congraulations on Second Place in Short shorts! The tite says it all. Eeerry tale, indeed. Your couple was in a bad spot all right. It read quickly to the end. Exotic, interesting. Nice job!
I will be reviewing your entry in The Classic Story Contest. My opinions matter in the judging of this contest, but, beyond that, only you can decide whether they are useful or not. As in any review, feel free to disregard any comments or suggestions you don't find helpful. I appreciate your participation and hope you and your writing benefit in some way.
GREETINGS Hanna,
IMPRESSION: A magical tale told about a young lad, a dog, and finding one's way.
CHARACTERS: Kevin was a compelling character. Your use of the first-person worked very effectively--delightful. He was believable and quite a storyteller.
Mama Holster wanting to know if the dog was going to be kept, before she used up her ointment, was insightful characterization.
PLOT/SETTING: The cayons and coloring the picture set the tale in motion. Nice phase: ...vanished like a rabbit down a hole. Also: ...feet glued to the road, hanging upside down. I liked the nod at The Wizzard of Oz and how Kevin's dream was filled with all his friends and those familar to him.
STRUCTURAL/TECHNICAL/GRAMMATICAL: your story was well planned and written. The bag of letters wrapped up everything just so. i think this could be used for young teenagers.
FINAL THOUGHTS: A different and amusing tale. Nice job!
I will be reviewing your entry in The Classic Story Contest. My opinions matter in the judging of this contest, but, beyond that, only you can decide whether they are useful or not. As in any review, feel free to disregard any comments or suggestions you don't find helpful. I appreciate your participation and hope you and your writing benefit in some way.
GREETINGS George (I thought I better get to this one before Christmas),
IMPRESSION: I'm glad I did, too. This well-crafted story proved a excellent read, but, more importantly, it gave me a warm feeling in the end. Thanks.
CHARACTERS: You did an excellent job of characterization through the dialogue between Harry Bailey and Jacob Bragg. I felt that Bragg came through the strongest--he was sort of the antagonist. I thought his character drove the drama forward.
PLOT/SETTING: I recognized your descriptive style immediately. You provided an interesting read, indeed. The globe devise was a great idea, especially this time of year. The doctor's dream made it all happen and worked to great effect. Nice!
STRUCTURAL/TECHNICAL/GRAMMATICAL: The flashbacks and transitions were handeled seemlessly.
FINAL THOUGHTS: Thanks for the enjoyable read. Good luck in the contest.
Congratulations on winning the contest! You story was well-planned, with a historical context, that suited the prompt.. I liked the simple resolution and thought it was very effective. The action scenes provided good detail, were efficient, and to the point. Nice job!
This was a clever piece of writing. I enjoyed it very much. I didn't guess the little boy was the stranded man until the end. Great twist! I really liked the "light" reference. Nice job, amigo. This should be a winner.
I hope you and yours have a safe and happy hoilday season.
Poignant and very timely. Tiger really let me down. Ah, not really. He just confirmed an age-old truth. The one you so eloquently described--the reference to the flock really drove it home. The next-to-last stanza was my favorite. Nice piece of writng, amigo.
I really enjoyed this well-planned, funny, cleverly told holiday treat. I can see why it won the day. Although, I'm thankful you're not responsible for my intake of calories. LOL. I thought your humorous honesty was extremely effective. Of course, the title was a stroke of genious. Nice story.
Have a safe and happy hoilday season (I guess you're going out to eat)..
This is a lovely piece of prose that accomphishes its mission. It shows how the beautiful world of the South maintained its glory, comfortable like, enjoying the fruit of slave labor. I really liked how the last stanza symbolized the uncaring indifference to everything that was happening. The river continues to flow. Nice writing.
I don't understand the all the different poetry forms, but I know what i like.
I really enjoyed this piece. The first-person voice made it all happen for me. You struck a good balance with the dialect--the dilogue was realstic and spot on. You were consistent the whole way (and all). The opening was very effective and i liked how you tied the ending together. Nice take on the prompt, too. Clever and different. i couldn't think of a thing. it didn't hit me for some reason. Good luck in the contest.
I found this piece in the Newbie News Letter and enjoyed the read. You have a way with words. The third stanza was my favorite. " . . . I'll let you imagine the crimson splash of the sun as it sets into the sea of your dreams.'
Welcome to WDC. It's nice to make your acquaintance.
This is a well written "Short" with a touching ending. I enjoyed it very much. A clever plot and title made for a great read. I would have enjoyed knowing more about these characters (my contest has a generous word limit). Complete characterization takes a little more time. I could see this story expanded. And next time please include a word count.
That said, I really like your style and look forward to reading your work in the future.
I will be reviewing your entry in The Classic Story Contest. My opinions matter in the judging of this contest, but, beyond that, only you can decide whether they are useful or not. As in any review, feel free to disregard any comments or suggestions you don't find helpful. I appreciate your participation and hope you and your writing benefit in some way.
GREETINGS ConstanceDH,
IMPRESSION: This is a very good example of a literary short story.
CHARACTERS: Vladmir Nabokor is a multi-layered individual. The first-person voice of the son worked extremely well in the characterization of his father. The title was an insightful choice.
PLOT/SETTING: Climbing the mountain set the scene and worked to great effect for your theme and resolution. I enjoyed the subtle hints about "The Brada" along the way. It created good suspense and moved the drama forward. I liked the tie-in about the pages gathering dust and the father's shying away from the picture-taking.
My favorite line: "...not-yet-healed memories"
STRUCTURAL/TECHNICAL/GRAMMATICAL: The piece was technically sound and made use of an insightful title.
FINAL THOUGHTS: I thought you did an excellent job carrying through with the promise of the story. Good luck in the contest.
This is truly an interesting tale, indeed, and cleverly put together. Your incorporation of the gypsy muse is a sroke of genius! You set the scene beautifully, which added to the pleasure and effectiveness of the story.. You did an excellent job with the prompt. I couldn't come up with a thing.
Hopefully I will never end up like this chap. Good luck in the contest. It will take a lot to beat this one.
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