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922 Public Reviews Given
1,561 Total Reviews Given
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101
101
Review by Coolhand
Rated: E | (4.0)
I will be reviewing your entry in The Classic Story Contest. My opinions matter in the judging of this contest, but, beyond that, only you can decide whether they are useful or not. As in any review, feel free to disregard any comments or suggestions you don't find helpful. I appreciate your participation and hope you and your writing benefit in some way.

*Smile* GREETINGS Rix (sorry your sick),


*Check3* IMPRESSION: This humorous, character-driven piece was an enjoyable read and reminded me of a time gone by. Mayberry maybe? Something right at home in the pages of Reader's Digest.



*Check3*CHARACTERS: A diverse blend of characters were utilized and blended together effectively. My favorite was Willie the drunk, and of course, Miss Skinner the school teacher. Officer Clinton was involved in the best exchanges with Willie, and then again with Miss Skinner.



*Check3*PLOT/SETTING: The bungled bank heist was a great choice for your characters' observations, or lack of, to take place. Having Miss skinner identify the escaped robber (former student) unified your theme, tied it all together, and provided a satisfyng ending.



*Check3*STRUCTURAL/TECHNICAL/GRAMMATICAL: The story was planned well and carried out with efficiency. I'm not certain how the improper spellings, and inconsistent designations,(#2 robber, third robber, and so on) were neccessary.



*Check3*FINAL THOUGHTS: Crimes Comes to Abernathy Cove is an interesting piece of work. Nice job! Good luck in the contest.



BEST REGARDS, COOLHAND *Cool*
102
102
Review of I am nothing  
Review by Coolhand
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
I will be reviewing your entry in The Classic Story Contest. My opinions matter in the judging of this contest, but, beyond that, only you can decide whether they are useful or not. As in any review, feel free to disregard any comments or suggestions you don't find helpful. I appreciate your participation and hope you and your writing benefit in some way.

*Smile* GREETINGS LRbluemoon,


*Check3* IMPRESSION: The piece struck me as a psychological thriller.



*Check3*CHARACTERS: Your protagonist was a man who felt invisible, hence no name. "I am nothing." It may have also been your intention not to physically describe him, but I still could have used more backstory. Knowing what lead him to this dire and self-destructive existence would have produced a more complete character and deepened the readers' understanding and enjoyment.



*Check3*PLOT/SETTING: The plotline of his escalating violence and eventually demise was straightforward. The action was good, however, for this contest more character and plot development would have helped.

The element of suspense was your most effective device. You also did a good job describing his apartment and neighborhood.



*Check3*STRUCTURAL/TECHNICAL/GRAMMATICAL: The first person narrative worked effectively. You should rework the last sentence of the second paragraph. Also: bottle of whiskey.

The most obvious problem for me was your protagonist described his own death.



*Check3*FINAL THOUGHTS: The piece was interesting and showed great potential. Keep up the good work. Good luck in the contest.



BEST REGARDS, COOLHAND *Cool*
103
103
Review of The End Of Brucie  
Review by Coolhand
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings E E Coder,

The End Of Brucie is an excellent piece of short fiction; I enjoyed it very much. Funny. Very funny. I've known this womans' twin, and her little doggie too.

The first-person voice rang true and stayed focussed on the mission. You cleverly left it up to the reader to believe whether you tried to stop or not. I choose to believe you didn't. That's good fiction.

Best regards, Coolhand
104
104
Review of Redeemed  
Review by Coolhand
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Greetings Shannon,

I liked how you began the story, especially your transition to the flashback. Very nice! The way you related Jenna's predicament, without spelling out the degrading details, kept the drama moving forward. Jenna hearing her mother's voice was a great technique and proved extremely effective. Although I wasn't familar with the song, it deepened the story. I also thought your ending was very interesting and left the reader something to ponder.

Food for thought: You might of raised the stakes by lengthening the action scene. The time to showcase your substantial skills is when you have the audience in the palm of your hand. I could have used a "bit' more drama. Maybe a couple near misses, or some inner dialogue from Jenna during the scuffle, which could have bolstered her mixed emotions during the resolution.

The tone made this a super offering and a unique piece of work. Good luck in the contest.

Best regards, Coolhand

105
105
Review of Voodoo Madness  
Review by Coolhand
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Greetings aralls,

I certainly enjoyed your tale of magic brew. The second stanza was my favorite:

So many, it is hard to choose.
All of you deserve to lose.
Mirror reflections of slander and greed,
my warnings, prey, you should heed.

I find this simple, straightforward style the most entertaining. I've written several poems with the same rhyming meter.

Very nice offering. Write on!

Best regards, Coolhand
106
106
Review of Good Mourning  
Review by Coolhand
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings Kotaro,

I've never been on the hush-hour train in Tokyo, but it certaintly affected the lives of these two riders. I enjoyed this entertaining tale of everyday life, and how connections can be made. Life is a journey of these connected moments. Nice job!

Best regards, Coolhand
107
107
Review by Coolhand
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings Ford Prefect,

Congratulations on the contest! I enjoyed your Oddity in the Street. It was a unique and fun take on the prompt. Nice job! How can you go wrong with a duck in the story. LOL. For a short piece, it provided a big splash and a powerful punch. Write on!

Best regards, Coolhand

108
108
Review of Be Free!  
Review by Coolhand
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings Mike,

This is a great story title and take on the prompt.

My favorite part:

"To be sure, the grounds where she lived were well maintained but, as she always reminded the others, the grass was inside the walls and, therefore, held captive even as they were."

Best regards, Coolhand
109
109
Review of The Diaper Change  
Review by Coolhand
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings Richard,

I found this in the Newbie Newsletter. Congratulations! Tha Diaper Change was clever, thought provoking, and a pleasant reading experience.

My favorite stanza:

See what we got,
Hot Fudge,
Engine Sludge,
Don’t Budge.

Welcome to WDC. It's nice to make your acquaintance.

Best regards, Coolhand
110
110
Review of My Words  
Review by Coolhand
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings Kdfriedrich,

This short essay packs a powerful punch. It's inspirational declaration, bolstered by your eloquent and descriptive prose, finds the mark and fulfills its promise. My favorite line is: "A constant migration of discovery and hope."

May the sun shine on your writing this year.

Best regards, Coolhand
111
111
Review of short. sweet.  
Review by Coolhand
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings RoboticEnigma,

I enjoyed you short expression of emotion. My favorite line is : Only now I am healing. it could be interpreted a couple of ways. I take it to mean: only now, after all this time and pain, I'm I beginning to heal.

Welcome to WDC. It's nice to make your acquaintance.

Best regards, Coolhand
112
112
Review by Coolhand
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings Kotaro,

I found your piece in The Dynamic Short Story Contest. Revenge After 18 Years is certainly an interesting take on the ever popular Time Machine concept.. The multiple twists took me by surprise and the ending was an extremely creative use of the prompt. I liked it very much. This was an enjoyable read in the SciFi genre. Write on!

Best regards, Coolhand
113
113
Review by Coolhand
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings W.D. Wilcox,

I found this in the Action/Adventure Newsletter. I enjoyed it very much. Your short fiction always seems much larger than it is. That is to say, you pack a big punch into a small piece. Your second paragraph "tie-in" to the title was extremely effective in providing intrigue and setting the scene. Nice writing!

Clear and precise writing is an area that I've been sruggling with. I have a tendency to ramble. You story is an excellent example of the efficiency needed to produce quality work.

Best regards, Coolhand

114
114
Review of The Power  
Review by Coolhand
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings melophone1,

This is a focussed piece of flash fiction, with a beginning, middle , and ending. Your protagonist was changed from the experience.

Suggestions: Your theme could easily be deepened by including some history and then expanding on how the change/experience affected the musican, through inner dialogue perhaps.

Technical points: If you separated your paragraphs, the piece would read better. You also have a typo in your last paragraph: individual.

I enjoy stories written around a music premise. Write on!

Best regards, Coolhand
115
115
Review of Unpaid Bill  
Review by Coolhand
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Greetings markdaniels,

This is a good piece of flash fiction with a plot hook. It's focused and moves at a good clip. It offers the reader issues to ponder.

You may want to consider how you use your expository phases (the material that comes after "I said"). "Usually" it's best to expound on how the words were spoken, not further your plot points or show action. For instance--You wrote: "I was hoping to stay at your house tonight," I said as I looked down at my hand-me-down blue jeans.

You could simply reverse the order. I looked down at my hand-me-down jeans. "I was hoping to stay at your house tonight."

Another example--You wrote: "I need something to drink. Can we stop at the store?" I asked as we sped down the dirt road, Dust and stones rained down behind the truck.

One possible alternative: "I need something to drink. Can we stop at the store?" I asked hesitantly. We sped down the dirt road, dust and stones rained down behind the truck.

I enjoyed your story. Write on!

Best regards, Coolhand
116
116
Review by Coolhand
Rated: E | (4.5)
R. S. LeMire,

This short piece effectively opens the mind to all the possibilities of music. Your opening brings to mind John Lee Hooker's song, The Blues Is A Healer.

My favorite line: "Make a joyous noise, for when we cross over into that familiar new we shall leave behind a holy vibration."

I found the notion of the universe running on 4/4 time very comforting. Nice!

Best regards, Coolhand
117
117
Review by Coolhand
Rated: E | (5.0)
Greetings Joy,

I found this in the Newbie Newsletter. It is an enormous amount of helpful advice in such a short article, as well as being extremely focused. I'm thinking about starting a folder to store instuctional pieces like this one. I wish I could have read this when I first began my fiction writing. Have you ever thought of writing an instructional book?


Best regards, Coolhand
118
118
Review by Coolhand
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings Leo,

Death Knocks Twice is a "spot on" title for this well told story--and a great take on the prompt. I really enjoyed the tale, as well as your writing style. Old Emmitt did what he had to do. For me, that, along with your "period vocabulary", produced the authenic feel you were going for and made the story work. Nice!

Best regards, Coolhand
119
119
Review by Coolhand
Rated: E | (4.5)
Greetings Michelle,

I found this story in the Newbie Newsletter. Congratulations! This enjoyable piece of flash fiction had plenty of gusto and fulfilled its mission. Nice writing!

Welcome to WDC. It's nice to make your acquaintance.

Best regards, Coolhand
120
120
Review by Coolhand
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey Jaye P.,

Congratulations on winner the Aristotle's Allegory Contest! Nice job! Scary stories aren't down my alley, so to speak, but I like the "not so gory ones" with kids in them. It takes me back to my childhood on the farm. I enjoyed your play on the words Kirsh and curse.

Best regards, Coolhand
121
121
Review of The Bomber  
Review by Coolhand
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Greetings Paul,

This is a well-executed dramatic piece of flash fiction. Its theme is signficant and its outcome poignant. In such a short piece (through her inner dialogue), you revealed the bombers' motives and reservations, which is efficient characterization. A tragic tale indeed.

Best regards, Coolhand
122
122
Review by Coolhand
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Greetings Henry Dair,

This is an interesting piece of flash fiction. and admittedly an interesting character, but it's size hinders its full development. I could see your modern- day-dreamer in a ongoing saga or a series of stories. Give him some history that enlightens the reader to his unique mind, and some continuing conflict so we could enjoy him more thoroughly. Nice piece!

Best regards, Coolhand
123
123
Review by Coolhand
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey J. A.,

A big hooray for you! I couldn't agree more. You touched on every point I would have: I, too, admire Joe Biden ( he's the true average Joe). I believe this is a turning point not only in American history, but in world history.

We're in bigger trouble than some people realize, but down deep, most people know. That is why they voted for change, plain and simple.

Thanks for adding your voice of support for our new leader, President Barack Obama. I didn't cry, but I stood up when he was swore in.

Best regards, Coolhand
124
124
Review of City Streets  
Review by Coolhand
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
I will be reviewing your entry in The Classic Story Contest. My opinions matter in the judging of this contest, but, beyond that, only you can decide whether they are useful or not. As in any review, feel free to disregard any comments or suggestions you don't find helpful. I appreciate your participation and hope you and your writing benefit in some way.

*Smile* GREETINGS Jaye P.,


*Check3* IMPRESSION: A well done precartionary tale! The title City Streets was apropos, in that it served a duel purpose, and also strengthened your themes of indiviualism, fair play, integrity, and the randomness of the universe. The story goes full circle and illustrates that we are mostly a product of our choices.



*Check3*CHARACTERS: I got a complete picture of your protagonist: her desires, fears, abilities, limitations, way of thinking. In the beginning, showing Janet worrying about being too ambitious, and then later her thinking "I shouldv'e known it was too good to last" was excellent characterization. Janet was a hard-working, decent person doing the best she could. She took a chance on love, and it didn't work out. You created an empathic character that all readers can root for.



*Check3*PLOT/SETTING: Beginning with a desititue woman immediately got my attention. The storyline was a familiar one, but you successfully used the first-person narrator to keep us intrigued in her life. I liked the "way" you used the flashback. Even though the majority of the story was looking back, going back and forth kept the reader in the street with Janet. Your technque of her looking forward, giving us little hints of what was to come, worked very effectively.



*Check3*STRUCTURAL/TECHNICAL/GRAMMATICAL: Structurally, I think this story was designed perfectly. Initially, I wondered if there needed to be more dialogue--arguing between Janet and her husband, before he kicked her to the street--but I see that wasn't her personality, which brings the character full circle. Great consistent writing. Characters don't always act the way we want them to, that's what makes them unique. Although Janet fell hard (harder than many of the readers, perhaps), she also had the gumption to get back up.


*Check3*FINAL THOUGHTS: As always, your technical and grammatical prowess amazes me. Good luck in the contest.



BEST REGARDS, COOLHAND *Cool*
125
125
Review of Kurt Cobain  
Review by Coolhand
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Greetings,

Although I'm from a different generation, I can relate to your emotions. This is a fitting tribute. It made me think back to the day John Lennon died. I've read that Cobain was your generation's Lennon. If that's so, the void will be difficult to fill. Of this, I am sure.

Best regards, Coolhand
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