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101
101
Review of The Jester  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

STRUCTURE

I like the fact there is only punctuation on some lines. I think it gives the reader direction but not too much. The reader can play around with this poem a little and not get bogged down with the correct way to read it. This, in my opinion, lets the reader enjoy the words of the poem without worrying about the rules of the English language.

TONE

The tone is a happy one but, I think, at the end it gets a bit melancholy. The last two stanzas go on about enjoying life before illness sets in. The change suits the poem and brings it to a nice, if final, end.

SUGGESTIONS

These two lines spoil an otherwise perfect poem, in my opinion. They throw off the rhyme sequence and beat.

Senses their auras, and knows just because

Helping them forget just what this place is

STYLE

The AABB rhyming style suits this poem very well. It is written and composed very well and it reminds me of a Sonnet. The telling of a story and the summing up at the end runs true for these kinds of poems.

TITLE

The title suits the poem. It informs the reader this poem is about a kings fool and the poem unpacks the tite with the jesters story.

IMAGE

I see a juggler prancing about the courtyard making the crowd of children laugh with his tomfoolery. The picture painted with the words is vivid and colourful.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Great poem and thank you for sharing. Stay safe.


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102
102
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



PLOT

Great plot. Liked the end hook but thought the start needed more work. It didn't have the pull I would expect from the start.

SUGGESTIONS

A beautiful brunette stood on Del Mar Beach, watching the waves rolling in as time passed. (She realized that moment that it had been ten years since she stood on the same beach that magical day with Little Joey Turner. Where had the time gone? The last she heard Joey and his family had moved to Colorado. No one had ever seen Sandy again.) For a hook, this is very telling, in my opinion. Try to refrain from using words like 'had' as this is a very telling word and most of the time not needed. Also, try not to overuse words as this makes the writing jerky. (A faded memory of little Joey Turner and her on the same beach ten years ago shimmered in and out of focus. Where did the time go? Joey and his family lived in Colorado now but no one ever saw Sandy again.)
The next two paragraphs are about the same subject. I was told, new paragraph meant new topic. Same topic means same paragraph. Also, it stops over usage of her name.

(Jackie Chow had been on a whirlwind since the broadcast of Sandy, and her career had taken off. She was whisked to New York then to Atlanta to WAGA-TV channel 5. Jackie had advanced in broadcasting to become the most cherished and wanted Newscaster.

Jackie had returned to Los Angeles to celebrate her first boss's retirement after 50 years of service. She walked into the station after arriving from Atlanta a few hours before. It was busy as usual, but as soon as she walked in silence filled the lobby. Everyone greeted Jackie with a round of applause and hugs, welcoming her back.) Try, (Jackie chow's career took off after her broadcast of Sandy. She traveled from New York to Atlanta and became a reporter for WAGA-TV, channel 5. She returned to Los Angeles for her first bosses 50 year celebration to a round of applause and hugs.)

He (rubs) his chin and continues, I need to announce my predecessor, and I want that to be you! He flipped a pencil on his desk, boomeranging it off his half-filled coffee cup. Keep an eye on your tenses. (rubbed)

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

For a short story, there was some growth in the main character. I would have liked to see more emotion but, through the eyes of the main character, we saw her grow from a self conscious child into a strong woman.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Great story and thank you for sharing. I hope you are alright and your brother is well. We miss you. Stay safe and talk soon. Remember, if you need me, just post on my notebook and I will be there. If you want to rant or let off some steam, just let me know the time and I will go on messenger. Take care, hun.*Hug2*


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103
103
Review of TBD  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

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OVERALL IMPRESSION

This piece was very well written and precise. It gave me a feel for your mother and what she was like in personality and characteristics. It also gave me an insight into your relationship with her. I saw a resentful child and it took me back to my childhood. I think a few people on her could relate to the relationship with your mother, including me. I liked this piece and the way it was written very much.

WHAT WORKED

The way you connected with the reader worked very well. It reminded me of those police series, where the actors talk directly into the camera as if they are talking to the audience. It gives the reader that personal touch and, in my opinion, works really well.

WHAT DIDN'T WORK

I think this piece works really well but is too short. We begin to see and feel the characters/people in the tale but before we can get to know them better, it ends.

OPENING PARAGRAPH

I like the opening paragraph a lot as it introduced the topic this piece was on. It was written well and very entertaining.

SUGGESTIONS

"In order to succeed, sometimes you must do that thing which you (you) think you are unable to do". (DELETE)

FINAL THOUGHTS

Great bit of writing and thank you for sharing. Stay safe.


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104
104
Review of Gunter  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

PLOT

Although this is not a story, it is not really an essay either. I have not got a template for it but will attempt to combine the two.

The plot/outline is a good one and, being a dog lover myself, found your story very entertaining. The way you introduced the story made the reader picture the scene and I found myself with the image of the dog and the country implanted in my mind. I smiled at the image of your dad being hoodwinked into taking on the dog and cried as I read about how mistreated he must have been to cower away the way it did. A very good and entertaining plot, I thought.

SUGGESTIONS

The only thing I can say here is try to show more than tell. In certain places I became lost as showing became telling and my concentration wandered slightly. Someone told me once to refrain from using so many 'was' as this can have that effect. But, apart from that, this is a very well written story.

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

Again, this does not apply although, I get the feeling you and your family are very kind and caring people.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Loved the story/essay and thank you for sharing. Stay safe and welcome to the superpowers review group.



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105
105
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

PLOT

I like the plot and thought it worked really well. I think the start hook needs a bit of work as it didn't pull me in as it should but the end hook worked perfectly and left me wanting more.

SUGGESTIONS

I am going to review this a bit differently to my normal detailed review. This is only my opinion and advice so, don't shoot the messenger lol.

1) Maybe this would be better as a script. As it is written, in my opinion, it is very confusing and untidy, especially the first part.

'All of them picked up the pieces of paper and looked at them. They all looked at both sides of it. Each of them had a single letter on both sides of them.' This is very muddled. (Each Wizard picked up a bit of paper and turned it over in their hands. They frowned at the single letter printed on both sides of the parchment.)

'The first one to answer that was Jacci. I got one.Did anyone else just get a letter falling their face? Mairon asked.

I got one too, said Stavon. But mine wasn’t on my face. It landed on the side of my head.' In my opinion, this is very wooden. Firstly, as it is in italics, everyone knows it is a thought. To make it more dramatic, in my opinion, don't say who thought who. Each line will tell the reader someone else is thinking it.(Jacci held the strip up. I got one./ Mairon raised an eyebrow and gazed around the room. Anyone else?/Stavon held a bit of paper in his right hand. I got one too.

“Of course, it’s another trap. But why is Horrald doing (like) this?” Mairon asked (delete)

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

I didn't really expect this in a short story like this. Making the characters grow, in my opinion, is really hard with limited words. The dialogue needs a bit of work as well but, all in all, it developed as a story very well.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Great short story and thank you for sharing.


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106
106
Review of Giving Thanks  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



STRUCTURE

The two line stanza really fits very well with the theme of this poem. I like the fact there is no punctuation and no full stop at the end as this is a give thanks poem and a full stop is rather final as it brings something to a close which, of course, love and thanks go on forever.

TONE

The tone is one of gratitude and family. I really love the tone of this poem and they way it flows. It is a sister giving thanks to a brother and the tone really suits the theme of the poem very well.

SUGGESTIONS

This poem is well written and well thought out and I love it just the way it is. To change it would be a travesty, in my opinion.

STYLE

I think the blank verse style suits this poem very well. The poem is about the emotion of love and, in my opinion, this style of poem gives the poet the tools to express it freely.

TITLE

The title also suits the poem. It tells the reader the poem is a tribute to someone but not who. It informs the reader of what to expect while still giving them an incentive to read the poem.

IMAGE

I see a family sitting around a table feeling love and safety to give thanks. The image warms my heart and makes me think of better times.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Great poem and thank you for sharing. Stay safe.


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107
107
Review of Silly Food Sonnet  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

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STRUCTURE

I like the way the writing is in blue as it makes the poem pop and the reader will find it harder to forget. I also like the way, due to little punctuation, it runs away with itself like a train on the tracks. I also like the fact the poet gives the reader a bit of direction via the questions, on how the poem should be read. I think the structure suits the poem very well.

TONE

The tone is very tongue-in-cheek and funny. I found that I had a smile on my face while reading. It is a joyous poem and one not to be taken seriously. I think the tone suits the theme and structure of this poem.

SUGGESTIONS

I think this poem is perfect just the way it is and doesn't need to be changed in any way.

STYLE

I think the Sonnet suits the theme of this poem and, in my view, it ticks all the boxes a Sonnet should. The style suits this poem very well.

TITLE

The title suits this poem and tells the reader what the poem is all about. The title suits the poem very well.

IMAGE

The image of all that food has made me hungry lol. I see a picnic with a blanket full of food and people walking in the park together, ahh, the good old days lol.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Great poem and thank you for sharing. Stay safe.


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108
108
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



STRUCTURE

I like the way each stanza had more lines added on as if building up to the end and very little punctuation, giving the reader more chance to read and interpret the poem as they see fit.

TONE

I am not sure. I cannot hear a tone. Tone, in my opinion, shows the emotional side of a poem and poems are supposed to make the reader feel something. A poem, in my opinion, is supposed to move the reader in some way and, I read this poem twice, I didn't get a feel of anything much.

SUGGESTIONS

I would suggest working on the tone and emotion of the poem. The end of the poem talks about stunned and shock so, maybe, instead of telling the reader about these emotions, show them how shocked everyone would be to lose such a prominent figure.

STYLE

The style suits the poem as, although I didn't feel any emotion, I sensed this was an emotional poem. Freestyle, in my opinion, is the best platform for this type of themed poem. It is ununiformed, like feelings and thoughts which means it serves emotional poems very well.

TITLE

I think, if it wasn't for the first verse, the title wouldn't make any sense. I like the way you give the reader an introduction to the topic before you unpack it and explain the meaning of the poem.

IMAGE

As I cannot get a feel for the poem, I cannot see anything. Painting a picture with words, in my opinion, gives the reader a visual aid thus bringing the poem alive so the reader can appreciate it more.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Good poem and thank you for sharing. Stay safe.





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109
109
Review of Dinner for Two  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*



STRUCTURE

I like the structure of this poem. The four line poem stanza but then adding an extra line in the last verse really worked with this poem. In my opinion, it heightens the drama aspect of the poem. I like the fact most of the lines had some sort of punctuation after each line as this, in my book, gives the reader direction when reading the poem. The bold writing emphasizes the food and item aspects of the poem and this also suits the style and dramatizes the poem, in my opinion.

TONE

The tone, to my ear, sounded surreal. Every stanza, until the last, sounded tense and anticipating. The last verse sounded sad and final. The tone really suited the poem.

SUGGESTIONS

I don't really have any. I think this poem is very well written and, to change anything, would take the power away from the words.

STYLE

The freestyle poem suits this style of poetry really well, in my opinion. This is an emotional theme and this style of poetry suits this kind of theme very well, in my opinion.

TITLE

The title suits the poem. It informs the reader the nature of the poem while keeping the element of surprise at its contents.

IMAGE

I can see a woman waiting for her partner and answering the door to two policemen who tell her her partner has been in an accident.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Great poem and thank you for sharing. Stay safe.


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110
110
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Star* *Books1* *Blueberries* SPR Raiding Contest Entries *Blueberries* *Books1* *Star*


I don't usually review this type of thing and am not sure how but here goes.

1) The prompts were set out well and told the reader what each activity expected. As far as I can tell those instructions were followed.

2) Every piece was entertaining and I found your ability to change your writing skills exceptional.

Thank you for sharing and stay safe.
111
111
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

STRUCTURE

This four line stanza gives the feel of drama to the poem as the punctuation gives the reader direction as when to pause and when to make longer pauses. The structure really supports and suits the theme of the poem.

TONE

I get a comradery tone. Pride also features a lot in this poem and resourcefulness. The will to survive but also an underlined tenderness. A sharing quality. Men in the same boat willing to help each other out and share what little they have.

SUGGESTIONS

In my opinion, this poem is perfect as it is. It gave me hope, with the world being what it is nowadays. This is how we should behave.

STYLE

This blank verse really works well with the theme and style of this poem. The emotion this poem entails would have been lost if any other style was used, in my opinion.

TITLE

The title is a good choice for this poem. It tells the reader what to expect while telling the reader to find out more, read on. It is a very intriguing title.

IMAGE

I see a man down on his luck working in a homeless shelter. He will do any work to be fed and is popular because of this but he also shares whatever he has with others.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Great poem and thank you for sharing.


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112
112
for entry "Hello Everyone!" 
Rated: E | (4.5)
I know where you are coming from. I am glad all you had was flu. We are fighting a war but the common enemy is the virus and not each other. It is pretty dire here as well. The shelves are bare and people think of themselves and not the population as a whole. We need the attitude of pre and post war where rationing was a thing and community was important. The world is a selfish place and this virus has shown us in our true light. We must do better, be better. If we are all going to get through this we must stand together and help each other out. As they say, united we stand, divided we fall. Stay safe.
113
113
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
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"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

PLOT

This plot made me giggle. I loved the end and thought it was a nice twist.

SUGGESTIONS

Words like 'was' are very telling, so I've been told. As a start hook, in my opinion, this is telling the reader of the impossible and not showing them.

Michael sat at his desk, hands stretched over the keyboard of his laptop. (This was new to him, writing a story of this kind was strange. He was use to long epics detailing many characters and massive battles. There was no way he could do that in under 2,000 words.) (Boy, this is hard; write a story in 2000 words, what a strange contest. He scratched his head and chewed his bottom lip, where to begin.)

This paragraph is very repetitive as 'chair is used in close proximity of each other, in my opinion.

It was ten minutes before he returned to his desk, the wall and carpet now dry. He slumped into his chair, and found it was fun to spin (the chair.) He spun (and spun, and grew dizzy. He) laughed like a madman as the walls whirled 'round and 'round. Eventually he stopped, and when his wits had returned, and the room stopped spinning like the deck of a ship, he saw the clock on his desk. (around) (it until his eyes became unfocused and...)

'Had' is another telling word so I've bee told and often than not, not really needed, in my opinion.

He spun to face his computer; maybe somebody (had) sent him a message.(delete)

'Then,' in my opinion, is when we write lists or when teenage girls speak. The words mentioned are alright in inner thoughts and speech but, in my opinion, shouldn't be used to explain things.

(Then he) perked up in his chair, and opened a writing file. Inspiration struck his brain like lightning, or something. He put fingers to keyboard, moving non-stop in a fluid motion. Who cared how many typos he made! He could edit later. For now, he would churn the story out. (He)

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

Due to his inner thoughts, the reader could feel the characters frustration. This is good as, in my opinion, it is very hard to get characters and readers to have any sort of relationship in such a short story but I felt compassion for him and a liking to his personality. I could also relate to him.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Great story and thank you for sharing.


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114
114
Review of Guard duty  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
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"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

STRUCTURE

The structure really suits this poem. The fact that there is a lack of punctuation and no directing on how the poem should be read makes the poem flow easier, in my opinion. I thought the structure bought the poem out more and made it an enjoyable read.

TONE

The tone is one of danger. The soldier stands on guard duty but he falls asleep and the enemy attack. The tone suits the theme and the structure of the poem. I got the feel of calmness before a storm from the tone of this poem.

SUGGESTIONS

The enemy make their approach(r) (DELETE)

STYLE

This freestyle verse really suits the theme as well. It helps with the build up of the piece from the soldier dropping off to sleep to the sudden attack on the barracks.

TITLE

The title suits the poem. The title told the reader what the poem was about but still held the mystery of the poem in its hands. It is a simple title until the reader reads the poem and the unpacking of those two words.

IMAGE

I can see a lone lookout standing on a hill. He is bored and falls asleep. The enemy sneaks up to him, he hears something and raises his gun. The enemy attacks.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Great poem and thank you for sharing.


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115
115
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (3.5)
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*




STRUCTURE

The structure is a good one. It is sound and solid. I liked the way it told a story and how it moved the story along.

TONE

The tone was good for a story but, in my opinion, not really a poem. It sounded like a children's fairytale more than a child's poem. The composition was all wrong, in my opinion. It told a story, and a good one, but didn't have the tone of a poem.

SUGGESTIONS

In my opinion, either, make it a story or more sing song. For example, Once upon a time, there lived a fairy called Mary... or something like that lol. As you can see, I'm no poet.

STYLE

In my opinion, most child's poems rhyme. I think, maybe change the style to AABB or ABAB something like that.

TITLE

The title really suits this piece as the poem is about a prince and a fairy. There are no hidden surprises and I liked that aspect of it.

IMAGE

I can see a love sick prince serenading a fairy and asking her to marry him.

FINAL THOUGHTS

As I have said, this is a great story and thank you for sharing.


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116
116
Review of Mother's Day  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

I like the message and the font makes the message stand out. I thought the blue and lilac colours really complimented each other and the deep purple gives the signature the contrast it needs. It is a great offset to the message itself and I love it. Thank you for sharing.
117
117
Review of Mother's Day  
Rated: E | (5.0)
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

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I like the message and the font makes the message stand out. I thought the blue and lilac colours really complimented each other and the deep purple gives the signature the contrast it needs. It is a great offset to the message itself and I love it. Thank you for sharing.
118
118
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

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This is a cool mask. I have never reviewed a mask before, so bare with me. I like the black colours, they contrast with the red jewelry so well. The embroidery makes the mask pop and I love the swirly lines as well. It looks very regal and majestic as well. Thank you for sharing.
119
119
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

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PLOT

This is a very good story line and the start hook made me want to read more. The end hook was a little weak but all in all a good and well written story.

SUGGESTIONS

(Her car was parked in the garage, and) Ruby tucked the picnic basket in the back seat next to her favorite gray and white gingham blanket. Words like 'was' are very telling words, in my opinion. What about (With the car parked in the garage)

Her son (had) used the sporty little car last and he was a full foot taller than her. Words like 'had', in my opinion are not really needed. I was once told, if certain words don't change a story by not being there, don't put them in. (delete)

She toggled the garage door opener(, then she) pulled out onto the street. Words like 'then' always remind me of a list or two teenage girls talking. (and)

Ruby (had) barely settled in when three punks came tearing through on their lowrider bikes. They all wore the same shade of gray(. Two had bandanas over their noses and mouths.) "Move you stupid SOB! We're coming through here!" One of the boys yelled on approach. (delete) (and two looked like bandits with bandanas over their mouth and noses.)

He hopped from his bike (and) let it fall(. Then he) stepped up toe to toe with Ruby(, he was nine inches taller.) (,) (, and) (. He towered over her.)

(That went far beyond "cool" not being cool anymore. She had reached the age where she was nearly two generations removed from the common slang. What was worse was that she was just "in" enough to know how uncool she was. Ruby settled back down and picked up her sandwich. She bit into it and stared at the pond. Was she responsible for a massacre? Were those poor boys wandering into a dangerous situation? Ruby found herself unable to relax and enjoy her picnic. She rewrapped her food and stowed it in her basket. Then she shook out and folded her blanket. Totally failing at her goal, Ruby returned to her car upset by a perfect afternoon interrupted.) This is very long winded and telling, in my opinion. I would use the thought method. This helps with character development as the reader can look inside the characters mind and feel what she is feeling and thinking. (Am I that old? That uncool? That out of touch with the kids? She picked up her sandwich and took a bite. What have I done sending them boys after the others? Should I phone the police? Ruby placed her sandwich back in the packet. Her picnic forgotten as she walked back to her car and drove home with a sickened heart.)

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

This is hard with such a short story but the reader could see, through to the writer showing, the characteristics of the main character so, well done for that.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Great first draft and thank you for sharing.


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120
120
Review of Sunrise/Sunset  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

STRUCTURE

I like the directional prompts the reader gets with its punctuation symbols on every line. almost. It pushes the reader into the pauses and stops when the poet wants them rather than when the reader wants or thinks they might add one.

TONE

The tone is very wistful with a tint of hope splashed about in my opinion. I also like the repeated line, 'Everything in the world coloured by him.' I like the image that gives me of bright colours and vibrant light.

SUGGESTIONS

I don't really have any. The length is just right, as are the words and theme. There are no spelling mistakes or grammar ones as far as I can see. All in all, a very grand poem.

STYLE

The style suits the poem as well. This blank verse captures the theme of the poem and runs with it. This is a feeling poem and, in my opinion, any other style would not do it justice.

TITLE

The title is suitable. The title tells us the theme is sunset and sunrise and the reader knows what the theme will be.

IMAGE

I can see him with a paint brush as he paints with flurry the sky vibrant colours while balancing a palette on his knee.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Great poem and thank you for sharing.


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121
121
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

STRUCTURE

The structure suits the poem with its question marks, commas, and full stops situated in just the right places. The way it is written gives the reader pose for thought and the poet can manipulate the reader to read the poem as it was intended to be read. I like the structure of this poem a lot.

TONE

The tone is questioning and suits the thought provoking poem very well. It probes the reader to think about faith in a whole new light and is constraversal in its approach to life and faith. It really suits this poem.

SUGGESTIONS

This poem is perfectly written and I wouldn't change a thing.

STYLE

I think this blank verse is very appropriate for the theme and tone of this poem and makes the words that more powerful than another style would have. This is a poem that makes the reader think and, in my opinion, might not have come across quite so well if a rhyming style, for example, were used instead.

TITLE

The title suits the theme very well as the title states what the poem is about, while the poem unpacked the theme of the poem.

IMAGE

I don't get an image as such but a feeling and a sense of being. This thought provoking poem gave me a lot to ponder.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Great poem and thank you for sharing.


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122
122
Review of Saving Maximus  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

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PLOT

I love doggy stories, especially true ones. This story ticked all the right boxes for me.

SUGGESTIONS

'I begin brushing the hair in front of her face then I grabbed up a bunch of hair at the top of her head and pulled it up tightly, then with the hair band tied around it, I created a fountain; 'dogie hairdo.''This is very telling, in my opinion, and has too many I's which, in my opinion, makes the story slightly jerky. 'I brush the hair in front of her face, grab some, and use a hairband to tie it up-- 'doggie hairdo.'

'"The kids will be home in a couple hours. Let me straighten up your daybed."

(I said. So I carefully picked) Belle up and set her on her furry white bed, and I picked out a blanket with cartoon dogs on it and tucked her in.'

'I said' should go after the dialogue as well as the rest of that paragraph. Also, the text is in present text and this is in past tense. (I say while, carefully, picking)

There are bumps here (then) there, the puppies are positioning themselves for birth. (and)

We all sat on the couches for Saturday night movies until finally, we fell asleep. (It was about) two o'clock in the morning (when I noticed) Belle (was) panting heavily and (was) pacing the floor, I placed her in the birthing bed. Again, change of tense. (About) (I notice) (delete)

These are all past tense.

We (were) happy and nervous at the same time. Aubrey is too young to understand the birds and bees and now (was) not a good time to explain it to her. (are) (is)

Nathan (looked) puzzled(, then asked.) "What do you need scissors for?" You got a action tag so you don't need a speech tag as well as the reader knows who's talking. (looks) (.)

(I answered back and said.) "In case I have to cut the umbilical cord off a puppy."

"Yuk!" (Said Nathan.) "That's gross, sorry I asked!"

"Well, that is what a Veterinarian Doctor would do?" (I replied.) The reader knows this is a conversation between you and your son so, in my opinion, you don't need speech tags but maybe a few action tags would be better. (delete)

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT

I would have liked to see more characteristics. It is hard, when writing non fiction, to accomplish this as the writer knows her family but the reader, in my opinion, needs to feel part of the experience to truly enjoy and get the story and its importance. The dialogue was well put together and it was well written.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Great story and thank you for sharing.


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123
123
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


PLOT

This is a good story and the added vantage is it's true which gives it an authentic feel. The start hook was good as well as the end hook and I found it a great read.

SUGGESTIONS

This first part, in my opinion is very telling. Here are some suggestions.

'“My God, what are we going to do?” I panicked as my nine-year-old big brother, Manong Pericles, and my eleven-year-old Auntie Estrella, tried to push the heavy pole away from Bantay after (he was fatally hit with it when it fell to the ground. The poor dog didn’t stand a chance.)' 'was,' in my opinion, is a passive and telling word. (it fell and killed him.)

'He seemed to enjoy watching the three of us, rambunctious kids, play in our front yard. He (was always following) us around when he wasn’t with Tatay Kokoy, our grandpa, on a hunting trip. (always followed)

CHARACTER DEVELOPMENTS

The way it was written made me feel the characters a little but I would have liked to know some of their characteristics. The writer told us auntie Estrella was protective but I would have liked to be shown it.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Great story and thank you for sharing.


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124
124
Review of Good-bye Despair  
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

STRUCTURE

The way it is written is very like a rap. The commas and full stops after each line gives the poem direction and the reader prompts of how the poem should be read. This structural poem suits the theme very well.

TONE

The tone is one of deviance and anger with a hint of frustration. The poet doesn't want to ask him to leave but she must if she wants to protect her sanity. The tone suits this poem very well.

SUGGESTIONS

I don't really have any as to change anything would spoil it I think. It is a very powerful poem and written from the heart.

STYLE

This AABB rhyming style suits the poem. It is what gives the poem its power and its rap vibe. Another style would not have suited the poem so well, in my opinion.

TITLE

The title suits the poem as the poet is saying goodbye to her despair. A very good title, in my opinion.

IMAGE

I see a woman at the window in tears as she watches her heartache driving away. Her heart is breaking but her head is saying she did the right thing to survive.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Great poem and thank you for sharing.




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125
125
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


STRUCTURE

The fact it has no punctuation gives the poem a runaway feel like the snow falling at random. The poem suits the theme and structure really well. The first line of each stanza is like an introduction and the remaining three lines unpack the meaning of the first.

TONE

The tone suits the poem as it has a sort of haunting peaceful tone to it. I think the poem, although cold, gives a warm glow to someones heart if they read the words slowly. It did to me.

SUGGESTIONS

I don't have any. The poem is perfect just the way it is.

STYLE

This blank verse also suits the poem. I think any other style would take some of the power away from the words. Free and blank verse gives a poet more freedom, in my opinion, than other styles and makes a poem flurrish.

TITLE

I think the title suits the poem as well. The poem is about snow and the poet tells the reader so. There are no surprises and the reader can enjoy the poem without distractions.

IMAGE

I see a person looking out of the window as snow falls, covering the forest in a blanket of snow.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Great poem and thank you for sharing.


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