I liked this story - and am looking forward to reading more of it - I liked the way that you built up the characters - and then described them - I was wondering what the D means (sorry) - I am a big fan of relationship novels, so I know I am going to love this.
This might sound stupid, but to whom is this poem directed - your folks, or perhaps a good friend - I was a bit confused - I liked this format of poem that to me seemed like a free verse - as well as one that was telling a story - One comment - I think hurdle is spelled with a D not a T
For your first attempt at poetry this is great (I read your others first) - the rhythm and flow are great - and the message that you are trying to convey is done so in an eloquent and dignified way. There are many of us who can identify with you on this matter, but I believe that writing is a helpful tool in dealing with this pain. Keep up the good work.
This is a fantastic piece of work - and how I can identify with it - I am in the process of writing my 'memoir' of being in rehab - life can change with a simple fall, as I saw last winter. You have told this story with such dignity - your literary talents are great - it flows easily and is 'fun' to read. How are you feeling now?
This was an interesting piece of work, and you began to capture some of the imagery of the woman that you are describing. But I think that there should have been more imagery - I feel like I had to put in my own conceptualizations vs. yours. With a little tweaking, this will be perfect.
What a fantastic story - I can not wait to read more about you - I am also an adopted child - although I remember my natural parents - they both died by the time I was 5-1/2 - and I was adopted by family. I have different life consequences as a result of this, but I think now, as I have just commemorated the 40th anniversary of this event, it is like a full circle. You have told this story with great dignity - it is easy to follow and 'fun' to read - I can picture all of the characters in full detail - since you described them so well - my only comment is that there are a few typos and grammatical errors - but other than that...
This was a graet poem - I realize that you wrote it awhile ago, but nonethless... I liked the imagery - I was inspired by a new style that you introduced in this poem - a story but in a poem format - or is it a poem in a story format - I would like to try that for my own works - you have great rhythm and flow and it was easy to follow and enjoy the poem.
Oh is he so cute - this is one of those type of grandmother brag pictures that you have to show to everybody - I hope that he will appreciate you when he grows up knowing what a great grandmother you are
I love this image - and selfishly since I have the same name as you - it is extra poignant - I have just put one signature on my stuff - but because I have a basic membership I only have the one saying that I have been adopted as by an angel. This one suits you to a Tee
This was a very nice piece that you have written - I work with the mentally ill as a job coach - and I can tell you that so much has changed in the past years -the medications, the stigmas, everything - it is important that people like you write essays such as you have written to show this to people.
As somebody who works with the mentally ill, I had a lot of trouble digesting this piece - in this piece you almost accenuate the words we use when we call somebody mentally retarded - often misusing the words - because it is meant as a put down - ironically, though I liked the piece from a literary point of view, despite disagreeing with it - short of a few typos
This is some piece - I cried as I read it - I am so sorry for your loss - but what a wonderful man you are - the way that Linda talks about you looking beyond the epilepsy is an unusual quality - something a lot of men would not do - you are a saint -
This piece is written in such a beautiful format - from a literary point of view it is excellent - adding the photos and the image of the letter are just icing on the cake.
What a great idea for a forum - as somebody who struggles with borderline personality disorder and has been on disability for a number of years - I think it is important for people of like minds to meet - I think writing has been a godsend for my disorder - making things so much more palpable
What a pretty little girl you have - it is a number of years later so she must be a lovely young woman by now. I always hated class pictures - I never photographed well - and now as an adult I photograph even worse which is why I do not go near a camera.
This was a beautiful piece - and I am sorry about your wife - what a beautiful tribute in a sense - I guess there is nothing that can replace the void of a lost one - it is certainly a point in one's life when we question religion and all that goes with it - but ironically sometimes it is a time when you find it more than you ever expected.
This piece was so beautifully written from a literary point of view - very dignified as well/
This was a great memoir - filled with great imagery and a whole lot of humor. Children are supposed to be precocious - so you were not really acting out of line - it must have been really a lot of fun to go on that adventure by yourself - I fathom that airports are concerned about these things because most of the kids who go on these types of trips are from broken homes - but maybe not - notwithstanding all of this - I really loved this - and as somebody who is working on a memoir of my stay in a hospital, albeit very different, I was very inspired by your writing.
This is great = I am so excited to have joined the angel forum - having been adopted by a pre-existing angel - I think this will be a great experience for me to learn, as well as for me to share my insights with others - as a social type of person, I can help with those types of things on this forum
I really liked this poem - I loved the imagery that you portrayed - particularly the dichotomy that you show from winter to spring. I do have some questions about your formatting - and why certain lines were capitalized and others were not. But as my angel, I am sure I will learn tons from you.
I really liked this poem - I liked the way you had the rhythm and flow of the poem go - each paragraph was equi-stanzaed - Additionally, I liked the message that you were trying to convey in this poem - I could envision it in front of my eyes. My only comment is that I think there should have been some punctuation interspersed in the poem - again that might be a personal thing, but...
I loved this poem - and I empathize with you - I wish I could say that I identify with you - but I am an avid sports fan - and particularly a football fan - and this year was great because my team won the whole shabang. I am a woman, and I am in the minority for women - but, I feel for you not understanding men's obsession with this - you wrote this so eloquently with great rhythm and flow, and even a sense of humor. Just one thing - there are a few slight grammatical errors - but..
This is great - I am not sure if I have been adopted or not - my name is Judy and I asked NJames to adopt me - I think she said yes - because she referred me to this site - but what do I do now.
This was a really nice poem with an eloquent message
My only comment is that I think maybe there should be one break in the paragraphing - and - I believe inwhich is 2 words. Other than that, I think it was a great piece of work.
What a story - and so phenomenenally written - your character descriptions were head on - and the plot kept you on the top of your chair waiting for more - this is very similar to some of the stuff that I have read as a woman - and an overweight woman - who has been told, I am pretty, but..... - the girl that the guys in junior high and high were embarassed to be seen being friends with = it affected my life long view of men - but...
I commend you on your behaviour - and am just curious what Avery died from - was it suicide?
Just one comment which is why I did not give this a perfect score - I thought that the way that you separated the lines and paragraphs was a bit inconsistent, and made it a little confusing for the reading of this tremendous story.
This was a moving piece - the last paragraph was like a sharp knife after such a beautiful tribute - I commend you on being able to write such a powerful piece - given your feelings -
I do not know much about sonnets - except what I sort of learned in school -
My only comment, and that may be only my thing, is that there should have been more paragraphing between thoughts.
I liked this poem very much - it had an interesting rhythm which I was not familiar with - but reading the story that was underlying in this poem made me appreciate that rhythm - you express your sadness and unique emotions in a beautiful way - making us identify with you and feel for you in this pain.
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