Brooke Brooklyn was the very first person I really interacted with when I joined WDC and she's been my best friend ever since so I totally agree with every single thing you said. She is a wonderful person and your tribute shines a light on one of the most terrific people I've had the pleasure of knowing. Oh, and congrats on the win! You deserved it!
Thank you so much for entering your poem "Thoughts on Apollo" [E] in "Invalid Item" , this review is not the final judging. There are other judges and the reviews will all be tallied.
This months form is the Nonet:
The Nonet is nine lines worked like this:
9 Syllables - First Line
8 Syllables - Second Line
7 Syllables - Third Line
6 Syllables - Fourth Line
5 Syllables - Fifth Line
4 Syllables - Sixth Line
3 Syllables - Seventh Line
2 Syllables - Eighth Line
1 Syllables - Ninth Line
Use of prompt & form. I can clearly see the prompt and you seem to have followed form.
Content & Imagery. Care was given to wording in the form of visual details and alliteration. I do wonder about the rhymes on the first four lines and then no rhymes at all. It wasn't bad - just raised a question mark in my mind.
What stood out for me.
blazing brightly blinding the eyes
nice alliteration.
Suggestions. None. I thought it was a well thought out Nonet.
At the end of the day this your work and I am just putting in my two cents. Take what you can use from it and toss the rest. Thank you so much for letting me share your creation!
Thank you so much for entering "Invalid Item" I'm Kaya and I'm one of your judges. I hope that your find your review helpful.
This rounds form:NONET
A nonet has nine lines. The first line has nine syllables, the second line eight syllables, the third line
seven syllables, etc... until line nine that finishes with one syllable. It can be on any subject and
rhyming is optional.
line 1 - 9 syllables
line 2 - 8 syllables
line 3 - 7 syllables
line 4 - 6 syllables
line 5 - 5 syllables
line 6 - 4 syllables
line 7 - 3 syllables
line 8 - 2 syllables
line 9 - 1 syllable
Thank you so much for entering your poem "Flood" [E] in "Invalid Item" , this review is not the final judging. There are other judges and the reviews will all be tallied.
This months form is the Nonet:
The Nonet is nine lines worked like this:
9 Syllables - First Line
8 Syllables - Second Line
7 Syllables - Third Line
6 Syllables - Fourth Line
5 Syllables - Fifth Line
4 Syllables - Sixth Line
3 Syllables - Seventh Line
2 Syllables - Eighth Line
1 Syllables - Ninth Line
Use of prompt & form. I can see that you touched on the prompt and for the most part you followed form. I think you're one syllable short on line one and line five has one syllable too many.
Content & Imagery. I liked this poem well enough and I could feel a lot of the angst you wanted to portray.
Suggestions. Take some chances with your word choice and stay away from cliche phrases like
heart passion burns
soul burning
I fall down
I see some real potential here, just stretch yourself. Also be sure and double check your syllabic counts.
At the end of the day this your work and I am just putting in my two cents. Take what you can use from it and toss the rest. Thank you so much for letting me share your creation!
Thank you so much for entering your poem "Red Reaper" [E] in "Invalid Item" , this review is not the final judging. There are other judges and the reviews will all be tallied.
This months form is the Nonet:
The Nonet is nine lines worked like this:
9 Syllables - First Line
8 Syllables - Second Line
7 Syllables - Third Line
6 Syllables - Fourth Line
5 Syllables - Fifth Line
4 Syllables - Sixth Line
3 Syllables - Seventh Line
2 Syllables - Eighth Line
1 Syllables - Ninth Line
Use of prompt & form. You clearly used the prompt you followed form.
Content & Imagery. I'm a bit baffled. It almost feels like two poems smashed together. The first two lines are top notch! They engage and urge me to read more - but then I get to the third line -
Fade to the sun my rich ash
And it just doesn't fit with the first two. The last couple of lines work for me as well - so I'm seeing the problem as being that third line. I hate rewriting someone's work for them so I'll make no suggestions, but I would consider possibly changing up the wording to give the entire piece a more cohesive feel.
What stood out for me. Like I said above, those first two lines are great!
Suggestions. Simply the suggestions I've already given and you might check your Writing ML. The poem is centered strangely.
At the end of the day this your work and I am just putting in my two cents. Take what you can use from it and toss the rest. Thank you so much for letting me share your creation!
Thank you so much for entering your poem "Heat" [E]in "Invalid Item" , this review is not the final judging. There are other judges and the reviews will all be tallied.
This months form is the Nonet:
The Nonet is nine lines worked like this:
9 Syllables - First Line
8 Syllables - Second Line
7 Syllables - Third Line
6 Syllables - Fourth Line
5 Syllables - Fifth Line
4 Syllables - Sixth Line
3 Syllables - Seventh Line
2 Syllables - Eighth Line
1 Syllables - Ninth Line
Use of prompt & form. You followed form and clearly used the prompt.
Content & Imagery. Okay, I was sweating before I finished your poem! You conveyed scorching heat through careful word choice.
What stood out for me. You set the mood of the poem in your first two lines!
Undulating heat sizzles and fries;
baconlike road before my eyes;
Suggestions. Check your spacing between bacon and like. You might also think about getting rid of all the semi colons. It really breaks the pace and you just don't need it. IMO.
At the end of the day this your work and I am just putting in my two cents. Take what you can use from it and toss the rest. Thank you so much for letting me share your creation!
Thank you so much for entering "Invalid Item" I'll be one of your judges and I hope that you find my review helpful or at the very least entertaining.
This rounds form:Form: Nove Otto It has a basic construction of 9 lines, with 8 syllables per line. The rhyme pattern for the poem is aacbbcddc.
This review is for item:
{ritem:1542/36}
Use of prompt and form:
I can see where you used the prompt, sort of. But your form is all over the place. They syllabic count is off. Each line should be eight syllables.
My impressions
I'm always a sucker for poetry that tells a story. I think I would have chosen a longer venue for it so you cold really get into the story. With a form this short you end up leaving a lot of the juicy bits. But, even short you told the story well.
Suggestions for improvement:
I would just be more careful about following form when entering a contest where the form is on of the criteria for placing.
Final thoughts:
This is your work and this review is just opinion. Take from it what you can use and toss the rest.
}I can clearly see the prompt and the form is followed.
My impressions
As far as it goes this poem is nice, but I don't 'hear' your voice. What I read is cliches and repeats and I know that you can do better than that! RELAX! Poetry should be fluid it should have movement. This read stiff.
Suggestions for improvement:
Work at finding your own voice!
Final thoughts:
This is your work and this review is just opinion. Take from it what you can use and toss the rest.
You used the prompt perfectly, but your syllabic count was off in the line 'Neath trees, in gullies, helter skelter. It should have eight, this line has nine.
My impressions
I liked the feel of waiting for a storm this produces. Your imagery was great.
Suggestions for improvement:
I would just fix the syllabic count in the one line. Other than that? Nothing.
Final thoughts:
This is your work and this review is just opinion. Take from it what you can use and toss the rest.
First Impressions Being a huge fan of the old musicals, I was tickled pink when I saw that you chose this movie! Your synopsis made me want to watch it again. Loved the little FYI at the end. Little on the sides like that make the movie that more special.
What Needs Some Work I saw nothing that needed changed. Except maybe a film clip of you doing your best Gene Kelly impersonation!
Suggestions None! Good job!
At the end of the day, this is your work. Only you can decide if any suggestions made are appropriate. Thank you so much for your participation.
First Impressions I can't help but notice that your main character has my name... and I love it! As for the story itself? What a bittersweet feeling this left me with. The idea of no spring and no fruit! Loved the whole idea of an experiment to help the earth going horribly wrong. Your dialog was spot on. Great job!
What Needs Some Work My only suggestion would be to put this is the Science Fiction genre.
Suggestions I saw no errors and I have no suggestions to make.
At the end of the day, this is your work. Only you can decide if any suggestions made are appropriate. Thank you so much for your participation.
Hello and Thank You for your entry in "Invalid Item" I am just one of the judges and this review is for your entry: "The Storm" [E] I hope that you find my opinion of your work helpful. Please, remember that these are only my opinions and at the end of the day it is your work.
First thoughts:Day three! I really liked the visual that you created. Your last two lines really deliver a punch. You used the prompt perfectly.
What might need a second look:The form on the other hand was off. Your syllabic count was all over the place, but you've still created a beautiful poem.
Overall:A haunting poem, filled with angst.
I hope that you have found this review helpful or at least entertaining. Good luck!
Hello and Thank You for your entry in "Invalid Item" I am just one of the judges and this review is for your entry: "Potato Salad" [E] I hope that you find my opinion of your work helpful. Please, remember that these are only my opinions and at the end of the day it is your work.
First thoughts: Hi Ben! Welcome to day three. I'm always a sucker for the ridiculous. You followed the form well and used the prompt clearly.
What might need a second look:This is probably just personal opinion, but the use of soaked in one form or another several times just seemed a bit much. I think if you found a few different words it would give this peace a more playful feel.
Overall: A good poem with a wry sense of humor.
I hope that you have found this review helpful or at least entertaining. Good luck!
Hello and Thank You for your entry in "Invalid Item" I am just one of the judges and this review is for your entry: "The Performance" [E] I hope that you find my opinion of your work helpful. Please, remember that these are only my opinions and at the end of the day it is your work.
First thoughts:Day two! This was a hard form to follow so anyone who took up the challenge is braver than I am. Ken, this may have been hard, but it reads easy. I loved the imagery and flow.
Expert that I am, you seemed to have followed the form and you used the prompt perfectly.
What might need a second look:I didn't see anything that needed fixin'.
Overall:Once again, you delivered Ken. Good job!
I hope that you have found this review helpful or at least entertaining. Good luck!
Hello and Thank You for your entry in "Invalid Item" I am just one of the judges and this review is for your entry: {ritem:} I hope that you find my opinion of your work helpful. Please, remember that these are only my opinions and at the end of the day it is your work.
First thoughts: Two thing first. Congrats on the win for day one and welcome to the Talent Pond! I hope you find us as great a group as I think we are. Now to your poem. What can I say? I loved it! The story itself was quaint and I was thinking to myself, ah...words of wisdom. Instead the reader winds up with a good belly laugh. The form was spot on, the imagery was great and the first place was well deserved.
What might need a second look: I didn't see anything that needed to be changed.
Overall:I recommend this poem to anyone who loves family with a shocker at the end.
I hope that you have found this review helpful or at least entertaining. Good luck!
Hello and Thank You for your entry in "Invalid Item" I am just one of the judges and this review is for your entry: "Jia" [E] I hope that you find my opinion of your work helpful. Please, remember that these are only my opinions and at the end of the day it is your work.
First thoughts: Congrats on second place for day one! This is a tough form but you pulled it off swimmingly. Sorry the review is late, but better late than never. Now, on to your poem. What can I say? I thought it was lovely. Your imagery was spot on and full of joy and hope.
What might need a second look: This isn't anything that needs a second look, but I have to admit I'm curious about the name, which makes the poem that more interesting.
Overall: I loved it Audra and can't wait to see what you bring to the next round.
I hope that you have found this review helpful or at least entertaining. Good luck!
A sweet poem about appreciating all of the seasons. I think this is the perfect poem to cap off your week of entires. I'm going to be sad that's all over. Anyway, your word choice was perfect and the visuals you created were also perfect.
I saw no errors and have no suggestions for improvement with this 'make lemons into lemonade' poem.
This is adorable Audra! Your word choices were spot on and the visual you created is refreshing. I've always felt so sad for playgrounds during the winter when no children visit and you have given your poem that wistful feel.
I thought you used the prompt well and have created for the reader a walk in land of snow covered trees. Care was taken in the layout and in the word choice.
I saw no errors, but I have to admit that the word emitting in the first stanza threw me. For some reason I keep thinking of radiation or Morse Code. Other than that I have no suggestions.
Thank you for your entry in day four of "Invalid Item"
You used the prompt brilliantly and your visuals were spot on. Great care was shown in the placement of words and in the writing ML you used and since you were the only entry I can tell you right now that now that you've won first place, but honestly, I think you would have won anyway. This is beautiful. Great job hon.
I saw no error and have no suggestions for improvement.
I can't believe that I won a first place award from this In/Out and didn't even review it! Shame on me! I can only blame the shock of being so honored. Anyway, this is great idea and it is much needed since there are a lot of great 'other' forums and such that don't get the recognition that they deserve. Please be sure and send me a note when you get ready to start your auction.
I hope the gift points attached will help you out with prizes. Good job and Write On!
Thank you for entering day three of "Invalid Item"
This was just so sweet Audra, I really enjoyed reading it. You created a bittersweet story with carefully chosen words. I felt the hush of the world outside and the desperation of the bird.
I saw no errors and have no suggestions for improvement! The prompt was used clearly.
I love the form you chose to work with and I think you pulled it off brilliantly. Great care was given to word choice and one could see the authors talent. Thank you for sharing this 'life journey' with us.
I saw no errors. The only thing I might think about is seeing how it would look if you center aligned it and maybe gave it some color. Good job!
Write On!
Kaya
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Kaya
you seemed to have followed the form and you used the prompt perfectly. 
A sweet poem about appreciating all of the seasons. I think this is the perfect poem to cap off your week of entires. 
Anyway, your word choice was perfect and the visuals you created were also perfect. 
I saw no errors and have no suggestions for improvement with this 'make lemons into lemonade' poem.
I saw no errors and have no suggestions for improvement! The prompt was used clearly.