Your poem, though brief, is extremely profound.
You've managed to show your readers that place so many of us are currently stopped at for
a while.
Just brilliant!
Short, sweet, and simple, and somehow it manages to seep inside this reader's consciousness.
You are quite versed at rhyming and I enjoyed this poem very much.
Lola
Oh, your lament is so heartfelt, and your pain radiates throughout your poem.
Heartbreak is such a devastating affair, and unfortunately so many of us have been it's victim. But, I firmly believe it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
You articulate your innermost feelings brilliantly.
You've certainly tatpped our imagination with your poem about the moon, which I've always found to be fascinating.
I like how you introduced other beliefs, which gives us some insight as to how different and yet how similar we all are.
Very nicely done!
Lola
All sorts of questions arose for me, such as did Alessandro play on the team or was he just a spectator? I understand that most of us feel sad and frustrated when our favorite t eam loses, but to sink to such lows is beyond my comprehenesion.
I'm wonderting why he has fallen into such great depersssion.
Your story is simply wonderful and a pleasure to read. Abuse is a horrendous thing and no one should have to endure it.
I wholeheartedly believe in guardian angels, and that little voice inside each of us, I believe, is the God's compass for us.
In the ending, you displayed that miracles still happen today, and I very much liked your message.
I did notice a few things, and I hope you don't mind me mentioning them:
(T-shirt) Perhaps choose another word in lieu of wondering, which was used 3 consecutive times.
with (those) words, we ran
went down to her bloody toes (tired used twice)
Maybe use a few less semicolons?
Ah, the remains of a love gone wrong. So many of us can truly relat e.
You articulate so brilliantly and so poignantly the words that escape many of us.
It was a pleasure to read your poem.
Lola
Oh my, you are certainly brilliant at articulating your innnermost feelings.
I think most of us have expereienced or come close to your pain in some way or another. I'm not quite sure the source of your pain, but I do hope love overtakes it.
You are quite a talent.
Lola
Very nice, indeed!
Once we surrender our imagination to seeking inspiration, I believe, we find it even in the most unusual places and ways.
Your story was poignant and I liked the way you embraced the doe and followed your heart.
Lola
Simply awesome!
Your poem is filled with poignancy; feelings that most of us have and do grapple with from time to time.
I love the ending stanzas because you've shown us what strength and determination can manifest--our hidden desires.
Bravo!
Lola
Wow! How many of us have felt what you so brilliantly articulated inside your poem.
You are indeed a real talent; someone who able to pull forth their innermost feelings and display them in rhyme.
Excellent!
Lola
You certainly offer some sage advice, but perhaps we do need others to lean upon as we mature. Even the Bible tells us that.
I particularly like your reference to intuition because I wholeheartedly believe we all possess that little voice within us, which is our rudder to keep us safe and on coarse.
This was truly an enjoyable read, and you are quite the profound-thinking writer.
Lola
Your poem reflects your heartstrings, and you've articulated very well your innermost thoughts.
Love can be so hurtful, but it allows us to mature into a more solid person; someone who can love deeper and more willingly.
Perhaps you broke your poem into stanzas, it might be easier for the reader--just my thoughts.
Lola
I love it!
You've articulated the secret of good writing, which proves you are obviously one giant bundle of talent.
I hope to read more of your work because your message is one I will savor today.
Lola
You expound upon your innersmost thoughts so brilliantly and leave your readers with so much valuable insight to ponder.
Because your poem is quite lengtly, perhaps breaking up into stanzas might help the reader to aborb it more easily--just my thouights.
I certainly enjoyed reading it and hope to read more of your work.
Lola
You express your innermost feelings very well, and offer your readers valuable insight as to what it means by living in the moment; something we should aspire to do.
You are certainly a very talented and prolific writer, and I scored you 4 because of the spelling.
Keep on writing.
Lola
You've written a very thought-provoking poem filled with rhyme and much reason.
I think all of us can relate somehow to your philosophy, which I happen to like very much.
Happy Sunday,
Lola
I love it! You are filled with hilarity, and you certainly know how to spin it into a story.
You provided this read with a really good time, spent mostly laughing, and I rreally look forward to reading more of your work.
Best wishes at Wal-Mart,
Lola
Wrapped inside your wonderfully crafted poem is some very sage advice.
You are undoubtedly a very intuitive person; someone who sees life with clarity rather than looking looking through smudged lens.
Thank you so much for sharing with us and I will ponder this today.
Best wishes,
Lola
You've managed to lure the reder in with your opening and hook them.
All sorts of scenarios were running through my mind, and it was quite the twist at the end--bravo!
Lola
Wow! Your poem truly pulls on the heartstrings.
So many people are consumed with darkness and gloom, but unable to articulate
their feelings so that others may try and help.
I believe everything we need, we already possess. It's just a matter of finding it.
Keep breathing in and out, and your despair will dissipate.
Lola
I love it!
You've taken precious moments from your life and given us a rare glimpse into feelings we all share.
You are a fabulous writer and communicator, and for that I thank you.
Best wishes,
Lola
Your thouights are simply lovely, and I truly appreciate your special way of describing that ethereal place within each of us.
Thank you for this amazing piece of poetry, which has definitely lifted my spirit.
Best wishes,
Lola
You've aptly described that what we all need is found inside each of us. Undoubtedly, you possess great strenghth and fortitude to not only excel, but to be a shinning exaple of excellence for all to see.
Best wishes,
Lola
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