Very well thought-out story... Realistic dialogue and characters... a bit of suspense when shots are fired... nice explanations of how Holmes solved the case. The conclusion surprised me; I thought the uncle was attempting to kill her. Good job! 
Consider the following when editing:
"How so?" I replied with some surprise, although not as much as I used to as (Consider: as I was already well acquainted with Holmes' capacity for observation.) Holmes capacity for observation I was already well acquainted with.
"Well for a start you're here visiting me instead of being out and about(;), secondly(,) you no longer order your own newspaper, unless you have changed your reading habits - which knowing you, you wouldn't have(--) but thirdly and most importantly of al(all,) your clothes are still in remarkably good condition(.), had (Had) you been busy this morning they ought to be sufficiently creased."
"Actually you have timed your visit rather well(,) Watson(,) for there is a case that has been brought to my attention that may prove to be most promising."
With that he withdrew his feet from his desk and pushed a white letter across to me saying, "what ("What) do you make of that(,) Watson?"
"Yes(,) there wasn't too much else to go on bar the name," interjected Holmes,(.) "she (She) is obviously left handed from the tilt of the writing and the paper itself is from a London based (London-based) firm.
The name(,) however(,) I was able to look up in my files where I found out the following."
Is a well known (well-known) and well liked (well-liked) writer who regularly moves in the higher society circles."
Holmes put down the file then continued, "what (What) her problem is I do not know Watson, but the fact she states it as trivial greatly intrigues me for it is often the more trivial cases that are the most interesting."
With that he strolled to the window and within a few minutes exclaimed, "unless (Unless) I am very much mistaken(,) there she is now."
She was a quite pretty young women (woman) in her mid twenties (mid-twenties) with auburn hair and many dimples.
She seemed slightly concerned by my presence but Holmes reassured her in his gentle at ease (at-ease) manner that she wasn't intruding upon anything and that she was welcome to take a seat.
"Mr Holmes I am so glad that you are available(.), I have become so concerned(,) though(,) about affairs that have started to take shape at Belleview.
About six months ago however(,) a picture above my bed fell and would have killed me if it were not for the fact that it gave a warning creak before falling(,) and again a month ago the reins attached between my horse and carriage snapped at the top of a steep hill(.), I was able to survive only by jumping out.
I was wondering(,) Mr Holmes(,) if there is anything that you can do to help me.. I'm so worried(.") "
Holmes remained with a grave face throughout this narrative before lighting his pipe and taking a puff from it(.) he (He) replied, "The facts as you state them(,) Miss Eliza(,) definitely seem to point to your Uncle (uncle) or another making plans against you, for three attempts, that cannot be coincidence.
"Well then(,) I suggest that Watson and I post guard about the house that night in an effort to protect you and to catch him (red-handed.") red handed.
Are you brave enough to carry out such a plan(,) Miss Eliza?"
"Yes," she replied courageously as she looked Holmes in the eye, "I will do as you say(,) Sir."
So all is settled then…I will look further into the affairs surrounding your estate in the meantime to get a clearer picture of events but until then(,) I wish you well."
"It seems a relatively simple case after all(,) Holmes," I said with the merest hint of disappointment.
"Perhaps," Holmes replied with a troubled face, "but I'm not so sure Watson…a sixth sense is telling me that it (delete 'it') there may be more going on here than first meets the eye. By the way you don't mind going down to Hertfordshire tomorrow(,) do you?"
The following day I entered my friends (friend's) apartment to find him furiously smoking away in some agitation.
"Are you all right(,) Holmes?" I asked anxiously(.), Holmes brow was knitted together tightly(,) showing the furious thinking that was taking place beneath.
"I just can't understand some of the aspects of this case(,) Watson," he said(.), "there (There) are pieces that jut out and jar(,) and I just can't place my finger on a solution.
Still…"he said jumping to his feet and putting down his pipe, "it is most refreshing to have a case that exercises my mind such as this(.), I have felt the monotony of the past few months drift away today."
"Well for a start(,) the estate compromises (is comprised) largely of an orchard near the village as most of the surrounding land has been sold off(.), the (The) orchard itself has been failing for many years, yet neither her Uncle (uncle) nor she have had it cut it (delete 'it') down or sold off, despite some quite lucrative offers.
The land itself is out of view of the Mannor (Manor) and would be of no real loss so I cannot yet understand why it hasn't been sold(.), Eliza didn't strike me as the sort of women (woman) who would be sentimental about such things…secondly(,) I've made many enquiries about Gerald but am yet to find a trace of criminalism or ill temper (ill-temper) within his history.
Thirdly and most curious of all(,) Gerald has actually been gaining money over the last eight months(,) despite having no apparent employment."
I too could offer very little help in resolving these issues(,) although personally I could see little to be concerned about in either, the evidence still clearly pointed to Gerald being the instigator of the crimes and that was still very much my view as we departed from the train.
It was quarter to six when we reached the small village on the outskirts of the village ( the small village on the outskirts of the village... is this what you meant to say? If so, then I need to know which villages) and quarter past when we were within the Manor grounds, where we positioned ourselves to overlook Miss Eliza's bedroom window.
"Curses Watson(,) I told her to be careful and now it may be too late, save for justice itself."
Holmes quickly broke into the house via a back window and I rather (delete 'rather') followed rather clumsily behind.
She(,) however(,) proved to be the better shot(;), the bullet from Gerald's gun had ended up in the woodwork to the side of her head.
Holmes however, having checked Eliza's pulse(,) prowled the floor for some time before helping me lift Eliza downstairs.
I quickly located some brandy and soon Eliza had recovered sufficiently to confirm my suspicions(.), she (She) had left her room to find Gerald coming up the stairs with a gun(;), he had fired and missed and she had then fired in fear of her life.
Holmes heard her out before speaking(.), "It seems then (delete 'then') that you have had a lucky escape then and for that I am sorry for I should have ensured we arrived sooner…I did not expect him to strike so early in the evening.
One other question Eliza, why haven't you sold off the large Orchard (orchard) that lies due South of the property(?), it (It) is a question that has puzzled most greatly."
"Why yes," she rallied with a mild laugh, "it was my father's wish that it shouldn't be sold and so both (my uncle and I respected it.") me and my Uncle respected it."
"Now(,) Watson(,) if you would be so kind as to ensure Miss Eliza is alright (all right) then I'll ring for the police who can sort out the mess upstairs."
I spent the next ten minutes looking after Eliza(, who) still appeared to be in a state of shock.
"No Watson, at least not at first(,) for the problems that I have had surrounding this case appear to be resolving themselves before my eyes.
I have been blind(,) Watson(,) not to have seen what was occurring before my eyes, a drama set out to play into the criminal's hands…and such cunning and nerve as I have rarely seen in its execution."
I was more than a little puzzled by Holmes secretive remarks and more so when we returned to the scene of last nights (night's) tragedy.
"It seems pretty tied up to me," I replied dryly(.), "by ("By) the way where is Eliza, is she still in shock from last night?"
"Come Watson(,) surely you see it all now? …Perhaps not, but I assure you Miss Eliza is more than well(;), perhaps you'll understand better when I show you what lies in her basement.(")
It's not the first such scheme that I've had to deal with(.), I do believe that cases involving smaller scale operations were among the ones I have dealt with(,) but never something quite on this scale."
"Explain yourself(,) Holmes," I cried.
"This case troubled me from the first Watson, not only did I feel that along with courage their (there) was another deeper characteristic present in Eliza(,) but (also) that the facts of the case she put to me didn't really stack up.
If he was concerned about being (the) primary suspect to murder then why attempt to kill her in such a way s (as) having a painting fall on her head(?) ,…clearly (Clearly,) although it would be made to look like an accident(,) the suspicion would still fall on him and any evidence of tampering would hang him(,) and then he attempts to poison her food(.) …so (So) he was either cunning to wait four years(,) then careless(,) or for an unspecified reason waited four years (before trying.) then tried.
Crucially(,) Watson(,) several seconds passed between the first and second shots(,) yet they should have been almost instantaneous.
The bank accounts started to make sense, Gerald was blackmailing his niece over something, and seen (seeing) as he mainly stayed on the estate(,) it would seem likely that the problem lay there.
Her eyes gave away that the secret lay there, obviously it now becomes clear(,) then why she was unwilling to sell it(?), she (She) probably persuaded her (uncle) Uncle, who wasn't quite the brute she painted him to be, and certainly not a murder(murderer), although he was a greedy man.
If it had been sold(,) the concrete room, that (which) had originally been built as the cellar for an older store building before being renovated, would have been discovered beneath and her secret outed."
"Why then come to you?" I asked as my mind tried to adjust to Miss Eliza being the cold hearted (cold-hearted) killer Holmes had described.
"Because she wanted to safely get rid of Gerald," Holmes replied, "and she fancied she could outwit me doing it…she may well have read some of my cases(,) such as the one concerning the man who started sending a snake through to his wards (ward's) room to try and gain her inheritance(,) and so thought she could pull of (off) the same trick.
Eliza was in the same mould(.), I think most people would have sympathised with her actions last night(,) and I nearly fell for the act she carried out within my room when she came to see me.
Thankfully though(,) it seems that justice has indeed been done. A toast(,) Watson?"
And on that note I close the case(.), Miss Eliza Grange was hanged within a few months for the murder of her Uncle (uncle) and the case closed as one of the most interesting to date that Holmes has been required to solve.
Perhaps tomorrow I'll find time to slip down amongst the whitened streets of London and visit the cosy, smoke filled, flat (smoke-filled flat) of the most celebrated detective of our time.
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At first I thought it was birds, until you mention a muzzle... hmmm. What they really were caught me by surprise. I never thought of THAT. 
Good Job! 