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Musings from my mind |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I'd kept a paper journal for years, so I thought I'd try this out and see how it works. I must say, I'm rather liking it!! Here's some background stuff. I'm in my 40's, doing the single mom thing with a 10 yo son. My son has ADHD, ODD and was also diagnosed with high functioning autism. He can be a challenge, but he can also be pure joy. This is my safe place. I come here to vent my frustrations, celebrate my victories, share a recipe or two and make new friends. I like it here. I hope you do too. Thanks for stopping by, Curls |
| This was the last day of my mental health weekend. I must say, I have needed this weekend so very badly. After attending church services, I came home. I was debating weather to do the ironing or take a nap. The nap won. I slept for almost 3 hours. I guess I really needed it. My eyes still look baggy, but not near as bad as when the weekend started. I still haven't totally conquered the ironing, but I'm putting a dent into it. Monday's coming soon. I'm gonna relax for the rest of the night and gear up for tomorrow. My quote for today is: The happier you are with the simple things, the easier it is to be happy. Thanks for stopping by, Curls |
| My mental health weekend continues. Joe is at his dad's. I had gotten my tax return, and decided that I needed to do something special for myself, just for myself. I decided to do some <gasp> retail therapy!! This is unusual for me because I'm such a homebody. Today was the first time in over a year I had been to the mall. God must have known how badly I needed this, because I got some incredible deals at JC Penney. I got a business suit, skirt and jacket, originally priced at $200, but after sale discounts, only paid $34.99!! Another Suit was originally $69.99, but I paid $17.49. A pair of slacks was $44.00, I paid $8.99. Another pair of pants was $40.00, I paid $21.99. I'd call this a good day. My quote for today is: Don't be impressed by folks who have a lot of "things." Most of them are lying awake at night trying to figure out how they're going to pay for all that stuff. |
| I stayed home from work today. I've been so tired and drained lately. I just felt like I just didn't have anything to give anyone else. It felt good. I'm learning how to be more selfish and take better care of me. Since I'm focusing on me today, I thought I'd sound off on things that annoy me. First of all, watching the news coverage today regarding the tornados that hit south of me, I kept hearing people describe the area looked like "a war zone". I hate that comparison. My experience has shown that the people that use that phrase have never been in a war zone, so they don't know what they're talking about. I've never been to a war zone, so how would I know it compares to that? I could say that it looks like a scene from M*A*S*H*, but that' s about it. I wonder what the thought of those who HAVE been in war zones (bless them Lord) are when they hear people say that. It really irks me. I don't ever want to minimize what true war zones look like, or what those who have been there have experienced. They went, so I wouldn't have to. I'll not take that for granted. Another thing that really burns my biscuit, is folks that interject the word "basically" throughout their conversation. It's so unnecessary. I see it as a sign of insecurity. They feel the need to use a multisyllabic word to make them appear smarter than they really are. Who with half a brain doesn't see through that? Get rid of that word. Ban it, I say!!! I have an "at work" gripe. I can't stand it when someone terminates their employment with an agency, and keeps coming back to just say "hi" during office hours. Hey, they made the choice to leave. Don't keep coming back and disrupting the flow of the office. If they want to socialize with those who still work in that office, I feel they should do it at lunch time, or after work hours. Those of us who didn't leave have work to do and don't need them coming by and interrupting that. There's enough interruptions as it is. It's bad enough when they come back to visit. It's even worse when they bring their children with them!!!! I can't do anything about this because management doesn't seem to mind. In fact, I think they enjoy the visits. I just don't understand it. When you're gone, stay gone. Boy, I'm glad I got all that out. LOL Maybe with a few more hours of rest I'll stop bitching so much and get back to my usual self. Let's hope so anyway. For now, thanks for stopping by and taking a read. My quote for today is: Never play leapfrog with a unicorn. |
| Happy February Everyone! Today was a good morning. Joe did well and was pleasantly affectionate. Today at work was a bit rough. I couldn't seem to focus. I guess the fatigue from the past couple weeks have caught up with me. It seemed every time I tried to fix an issue, I ended up making it worse. Arrgh. Finally I decided to do more mundane tasks and save the harder stuff for another day when I'm more up to tackling them. I picked Joe up from afterschool, and after some discussion, we agreed we'd skip karate class tonite, go have dinner and go home for a quiet evening. We went to Sonny's BBQ for dinner. You ain't been to the south until you've had Sonny's BBQ. It's like....THE CURE!!! There ain't a whole lot that Sonny's can't help fix. It's one of the ultimate comfort foods for me. I stopped at the mailbox on the way home and found notification of the child support court hearing for The Donkey...aka Joe's Dad. It's in a couple weeks. Praise God and all things living! If he shows, we'll get a income deduction order so that the child support will be automatically deducted from his paycheck. If he doesn't show, they'll put out a warrant for his arrest. I am quite sure he'll appear. If so, maybe I'll get some financial relief soon. It would truly help. Wonderful friends also help. A coworker took one look at me today, and opened her arms,and said "come here." She just knew it was exactly what I needed. I almost started crying. I've learned that as much as I love to give support and encouragement, I need to learn how to accept it too. Many, many people here have responded to my blogs with such encouragement. The Monk has been a wonderful listener, and has let me borrow his e-shoulder on more than one occasion. Thank you, darlin'. Hoosiermama2 is a beautiful person, although I've never seen her with my eyes. I love reading her blog, and have found wonderful nuggets of wisdom there. She blessed me today with a c-note, my very first one! I'm so glad to know you, and proud to call you my friend. My quote for today is: It's all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure to flush when you are done. Thanks for stopping by, Curls |
| Joseph had his evaluation appt this am for occupational therapy. This will get him set up for treatment for anger management, and management of his ADHD, ODD, OCD and Asperger's Syndrome. I'm looking forward to them teaching him skills to help him adapt to functioning on this planet with regard to the way he's internally wired. After this appt, I drove him to school. I ran a few other errands, and got to work at noon. My head was starting to hurt a little, but I was doing my best to push through it, like us mom's have learned to do so often. I was getting going at work when I was called at 3pm to come pick up Joe at school because he was having another meltdown. The jackhammers in my head are having a real party now. So I left work, picked him up and brought him home. He's currently doing some chores to burn off some excess energy. After that, he'll be "assuming the position" again. Sitting on the edge of his bed, hands in his lap, feet on the floor until dinner time. This time, he was very apologetic about me having to miss work to come get him and bring him home. We discussed what set him off and are working to resolve it. It was sweet how he told me he was sorry so many times. I appreciated that and told him so. I also explained that he can get mad and frustrated without being rude and disrespectful. He acknowledged it, and said he was trying. I believe him. I also believe in consistency. When this happens, he knows he's on full punishment or what we call "misery mode". No talking, no toys, no books, no TV, no PS2, no fun. (No phone, no pool, no pets, as the old song goes) He can sit there and think about how he could have handled the situation differently. Emotionally, I'm doing better than yesterday, and much better than the day before. If these stress headaches would stop, I may be back to full tilt boogie in a week or so. I'd like to, that's for sure. I want to get back to posting positive, uplifting things to encourage and strengthen those who read here. I'm just not there yet. Right now, it's about me and my attempt to maintain my sanity. That's about as good as it's gonna get today. My quote today is: Success is getting up just one more time than you fall down. Peace be with you all today. Curls |
| This was a good morning. It was cold, but good. It was filled with laughter, smiles and hugs. I thank God for mornings like these. I was taking Joe to school this am, and he started singing his version of We Are Family. "We are family, even though your fatter than me..." ok, it's cute.... Then I got this one song stuck in my head and started to sing it. "When the moon hits your eye, like a big pizza pie, that's amore" I asked Joe if he knew what amore was. He answered, "Yeah, it's a painting." I said, "No, Baby, that's a MONET!!!" that made me laugh all the way to my office, and I'm still smiling about it now. Dontcha just love kids?? This also reminds me of a time when we were driving home from church. We like to play games in the car, and this time we were playing Name That Capital. I asked him what the capital of Hawaii was. His response: Honalujah!!! My quote today is: The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson. |
| Well, Monday's almost done. I don't really have anything of substance on my mind. I'm thankful to be a bit more relaxed today. No big frustrations to rant about. No big joys to celebrate. I just "am" today. That is enough. My quote today is: When the student is ready, the teacher will arrive. |
| I was at church this am, when the inopportune moment happened. It's the music that did it to me. I couldn't sing, couldn't worship. All I could do is sit there and do the ugly cry. Crying out the worries, frustrations and aggrivations of the week. It felt horrible, but yet good at the same time. I'm so tired. Tired of having to force myself to be strong. Tired of having to carry my burdens. Tired of having to remind myself that God loves me, yet having to walk through trial after trial. Tired of being lonely. Tired of being tired. I'm just damn tired. Please pray for me. After doing some things here at home, I laid down and took a nap. Ugly cries exhaust me. I do feel a little better, but still drained. I probably need more ugly cries and more sleep too, but what I got did help, and I'm thankful for that. Had to spank Joe again this am. But, after I did that, he seemed to jump right back in line. I think he's seeing a pattern between the spankings and his sass. Lord, I sure hope so. He played so nicely, so quietly when I was sleeping, bless him. The workweek begins again tomorrow. I'm not sure if I ready for it, but it's coming whether I'm ready or not. My quote for today is: The most important work we will ever do is within the walls of our own homes. |
| Today's going well. I spent yesterday evening enjoying a couple of beers and chatting with a good friend online who has this way of always making me smile and relax no matter how stressed out I am. It's a shame that they live on the other side of the country from me. I rarely drink, and when I open a beer, it's a good sign that I'm very stressed out. I didn't get drunk, I stopped when I was pleasantly relaxed. But to be honest, it was probably more because of the conversation than the drink. With all the lonliness in this world, I wish everyone could have a friend as good as the one I spent the evening with yesterday online. It really makes a difference just knowing that someone is out there who really gives a s*** about you. This morning, I had the priviledge of having breakfast with my 22 yo daughter's childhood bestest friend and her son and her 2 sisters. I love those girls like they are my very own. I've missed them so much, and it was so good to see them again. They've grown up so much. I remember when they were all so young and innocent. We would laugh tons and play music loud and sing at the top of our lungs. Nobody cared if we were off key, what mattered was that we were together and had fun. We'd take turns doing each other's hair and make up and nails. I'd take the girls to the thrift stores and let the buy old prom dresses and help them play dress up. Sometimes, I'd do it too just to have fun. Those were the days. They were so much fun. Back then, the biggest worry they had was if the smudged their nail polish. Now they are becoming young adults with responsibilities and jobs, and college.....and the worries are larger, more significant and longer lasting. I pray that they will continue to grow and mature and not have to make many of the stupid mistakes I did, and suffer the consequences. After meeting with them, I stopped by the store. I usually cook on the weekends a large meal, then freeze it into smaller containers for my lunch during the week. Today it's tacos and burritos. I'm cooking 3 lbs of beef with the taco seasoning, will take out have and freeze it for when my son or I want tacos. The rest, I'll add refried beans and onions to, and wrap into tortillas. Then I'll put them in a pan and smother them with enchilada sauce and bake. When they're done, I'll sprinkle cheese over the top. Yum. I'll make some mexican rice to go with it, and then divide them all up into my containers to freeze. That way I won't have to worry about what I want to have for lunch this week, and I know the food will be good!! I also need to finish laundry and ironing as well. Good music playing helps me get through these chores. When I get that done, I may read or simply just relax for a while. God knows I need that right now. Quote for today: In the cookies of life, good friends are the chocolate chips. thanks for reading, Curls |
| Happy Friday Joe got his report card yesterday. All A's and one B+ again. Good for him. I'm so proud of him. Last night was karate promotions. Joe and two other students were testing for orange belt. Nobody promoted to orange. They didn't know one of the required katas well enough. Next promotion is in 3 months. Hopefully he'll know it well enough then. The best news of all is that I didn't have to spank Joe this am. He got up, did what I asked him to do. He was also very affectionate this am, lots of hugs. He's quite affectionate in the mornings. As the day goes on, he doesn't want a lot of lovey, but in the mornings, his hugs are wonderful. I'd much rather begin a day with hugs than with spankings. I don't feel as down as I have the past couple days, then again it's only 8:10 am...lol we'll see as the day goes on....Granted, I'm not all rainbows and sunshine yet, but I'm not really down either. I guess you'd call it neutral, or maybe recovering from down days. I still feel kinda wrung out, but not to the point where I want to knock the snot out of something. I just need some down time where I don't have to make any decisions, or think real hard. Hopefully I'll get that this weekend and things will get back to a relative state of normal. My quote for today is: Courage doesn't roar. It's that quiet voice at the end of the day that whispers, "I will begin again tomorrow." |
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