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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/1747905-When-Darkness-Falls
by Gaby
Rated: GC · Book · Personal · #1747905
...I come out and play...
*Moon*


This may be as ordinary as they come or the complete opposite of what you've ever read.

If an entry is written during the day, it may be less thought provoking than the one written at night..

Because when darkness falls.. I am no more..

We all know what hides in the dark corners of an uncontrollable mind..

When nothing but confusion spreads its wings and, dare I say, flies..



Either way, sit down; read an entry or two, comment if you'd like, give advice, but don't judge.


...and welcome to my world...

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January 25, 2020 at 1:09pm
January 25, 2020 at 1:09pm
#974170
Years ago I used to blog almost on a regular basis. My life was also more interesting back then. *Laugh* No one cares how many dirty diapers I've changed or the times where a bomb went off inside a diaper and there's crap to clean up everywhere but where it's supposed to be. No one cares that you didn't put your kid on a sleeping schedule - or maybe you did you just don't know it - and your kid goes to bed at 2 AM and wakes up at noon rather than the recommended sleeping schedule time of 7-8 PM until 5-6 AM. I'm not a morning person - ask anyone that knows me! - so this actually works for me. That and the fact that I'm not working.

I've had my ups and downs in the past year or so. I've had to quit work early because I popped both my leg joints out of ligament. I decided to stay home once Daisy arrived because no one could really watch her, I refused to pay for a daycare, and most of all, I wanted to stay home with her. She's the only child I'll ever have.

When she arrived, I was unsure, scared at times, frustrated a lot, but nothing out of the ordinary. My patience is very slim to nonexistent when it comes to kids. And she loves to push my buttons already at the age of six months. *Rolling* I always loved when people said that kids don't know. Oh, they do! They may not remember it, but at that moment, they know what they're doing. Changing clothes and diapers can be a challenge and an argument. It's ridiculous at times.

Besides the daily routine of changing diapers, feedings, nap times, and the daily house chores, I have no idea where the time goes sometimes. I applaud the women who seem to have their shit together when they have a baby. I'm not one of them. When the older generation comes around and tells me that they used to work and have seven kids and still put dinner on the table, I just say great for you. You were also not in your almost damn forties when you had your first kid, but rather in your teens, so fuck off. Things have also changed. Just get away from me.

The daily advice I could've also been without but you have to listen to what the existing parent or older generation knows and knows it better than you. I'm always open to suggestions, but I also draw the line at some point. No unnecessary use of medication if it's not necessary. No need to take her to the ER for every sneeze.

She looks like she might have, what I self-diagnosed as hyper attention. She focuses on everything she does so much that any side movement or sound makes her jump. She's very active! She doesn't calm down even when she's eating. That doesn't mean she needs medication. She's a baby! And good God, she's all me! *Rolleyes* Her attitude, her temper tantrums, ugh. All me. I'm screwed. I see nothing of her dad yet, however, she adores him. I'm non-existent once he's home unless it's feeding time.

So, with all this baby stuff, there's not much me time left. Which is alright. I don't mind. All I'm trying to do is get back into the habit of things. Maybe not run an activity of major proportions but I want to spend some time here and there doing what I enjoyed before she arrived. I know I'm not asking for too much and I know that it all depends on me to rearrange things, but it's nice to get things off the chest as well. *Bigsmile*

Right now it's noon here and she finally woke up so off I go. *Heart*
November 4, 2019 at 12:18pm
November 4, 2019 at 12:18pm
#968983
Am I the only one who's mentally done writing the entry before even beginning it? I swear, I'm amazed at some of the blog entries where people stick to the subject, dissect it, and still keep it steady without interruptions or getting sidetracked.

So, seeing how I haven't been on WdC in what seems like a damn decade, I decided to snoop through ports, see what's new, what's old, and all that good stuff. Of course I stumble on some blog entries and it doesn't even matter if the subject is mundane, it's the writing itself that captures me. Then I read another entry and another and an hour has gone by and yet again I haven't done anything productive.

Thing is, I'm incapable to keep a steady thought for more than a few seconds. In the time I've written all this, my mind has already been on so many subjects and different things, that I know I'll cut this entry short because I'm already forgetting the point of why I started it in the first place.

How do you stay focused? I mean, is it a female thing? What?!

Sometimes, hubby and I will have a conversation, and if it's a long one, he'll lose me eventually, because I jump from subject to subject so quick, and can revert to something we talked about two hours ago as if we just talked about it and he's gone. However, I can always jump back into a conversation we had five days ago and he remembers something. Just a small mention of it and I already know what he's talking about and I'm right there with him on the subject. He can't do that. I can repeat myself for days on end about something, mention it two days later and he'll tell me that I never told him. *Rolleyes*

When I write, shit gets lost in translation, so to speak. While I write my mind is going further into the story, hence making me think that i've mentioned it, when I haven't, and I'll skip it, and there it goes. All out the window.

Can you relate?

October 27, 2019 at 11:25am
October 27, 2019 at 11:25am
#968491
Remind me of my broken heart, why don't you?

In all my years and all the shows I loved and binge watched like a crazy person GoT was the one that swept me off my feet and didn't let go. Until the last episode, that is. If you haven't watched it and by some crazy notion want to without knowing spoilers, stop reading this now.

I didn't want to write about it, didn't want to talk about it, didn't want to discuss it. Then I saw iKïyå§ama 's blog post and it opened up the gates I wanted to keep shut forever. I didn't even want to think about the ending of a show which had me hyped up for years. So much so that I - the one crazy enough to run an activity of that size - created a game which had the entire WdC up and running. "Game of Thrones, for one month the past few years, had been the talk of WdC, raising from 10 to 20 million each time we played the game. Even after a year or so of hiatus on my part, I had to visit the GoT halls of the game, for the simple reason that I've met many friends through the game, have shed blood, sweat, even tears while running the game. Each year was more intense than the last. However, those facts aside, the show itself had been good. So good, until the last season.

From all the shows I've ever watched, GoT left a hole in my heart that not even GRRM could fix. What a devastating blow and a major disappointment in a show that meant so much to me. It made me believe in truly great writing. He dared to cross into the shadows of the Taboo land and brought forth all the things everyone always said not to write about. To end it the way it did? There aren't words adequate enough to express my pain and disappointment.

I wasn't expecting a love conquers all type of ending really, but when you have Jon Snow and Danny together in the last season after so much freaking wait, you really don't want to see such a demise of a character that conquered the Seven Kingdoms. It was bittersweet but it was short-lived and not satisfying enough. She gets stabbed by the one she finally dares to open up her heart to and the last dragon flies off now that its mother is gone... WTF?! I saw them pushing her character to an extreme and perhaps her time did come. But Jon Snow who never knew nothing? He didn't want to fame or the responsibility that has always been given to him, but he was a natural born leader. Of all things, he goes beyond the wall that's crushed anyway and lives with the free folk? *Cry* *Headbang* Was that his whole purpose? After all the fighting and all the crap he went through? When he finally found out who he really was? He turns his back on everything he's ever known without a second glance?

Perhaps he was right. The world isn't a good or a safe place. Going beyond the wall is what will bring him a completely new life. But without Danny or that chick, I can't remember her name now, that he married in real life? What is the actual purpose? What?!

I could keep typing and keep thinking to find a true reason for such terrible ending but it's pointless. I'll just go in circles. And let's not even start on the White Walkers, their adoption of human babies that never led to anything. Or the Children of the Forrest that never showed their faces after Bran became the Three-eyed raven. Where's the Isle of Men? Isn't that where the battle should have happened? Where the hell is it anyway? And... *Headbang* You get my point. Devastation at its best here, broken heart and all.

So how, in good conscience, could I bring back a game that meant so much and would only remind me of the pain for the show and its ending? In the end no one won. The wheel had been broken by a Targaryen, which is ironic of course, since they started it in the first place, but still. Who'd want to play a game where the real ending is a total disaster? Thanks, Kiya. *Think* Perhaps a GoT museum is in order since GoT has run its course...
March 25, 2019 at 9:58am
March 25, 2019 at 9:58am
#954940
Jury is still out on that one particular question... Does the story of Blue Witch continue on WdC? I have a feeling that it might, except in different ways. It's been over a year since I last blogged here and just as long since I've truly been active on the site. My membership expires at the end of this month as well. I can't say I want to say good-bye to a home I've known for more than a decade, but I've learned my limits of being here. Life has made unexpected turns in the previous years, but none as dramatic as this upcoming change. I am not entirely sure what to expect with it but I do know it will be life altering.

I'm pregnant!


And it's a girl! *Bigsmile* Of all people, of all the things in this world, I did NOT expect this at the age of thirty eight and yet here we are. First, and probably the only child, on the way. *Delight*

The girl who tolerated kids, the girl who prefers boys over girls, the girl who enjoys the freedom of not having kids, is actually going to have a kid of her own! *Rolling* Trust me, it was quite the shocking news but after almost a month now, I've adjusted to it. I'm due July 21st which means five months went by of me not knowing I'm pregnant! *Rolling* Only me. I thought I had some medical issues. Perhaps it were the early stages of menopause. *Laugh* Yeah, well, guess again.

Both, hubby and I, have grown used to the idea that, yes, we will have a child in our lives. A lot of people asked me if he's okay with it being a girl while that question should have been directed at me rather than him. He adores kids and they feel the same about him. Especially girls! He's more than thrilled and comes home every day to touch and kiss the belly first before I get any attention.

When it came to names, the boy name came rather too easy and too quick. Girl names were much harder for us. That's when I knew that we'll probably have a girl but I held on to a small thread of hope nevertheless. When I found out the gender, my heart skipped a beat and I wasn't sure if it were because I was happy or sad, but now I know that I'm meant to have a girl, just like my mom always wanted. There's irony in that but that's a different story for a different time.

At first we decided on the name Hanna. Well, he did, but I didn't like it that much. Hanna banana and all those shenanigans... I've had several names lined up but they were either taken by friend's kids or I associated them with someone I didn't like or what not. In the end we decided on Daisy. Being from a different country and deciding on an American name can be quite hard. We had to make sure it's easily pronounced, easy to spell, and I did not want a Bosnian name. *shudder* Nope! So, Daisy it is. She can be crazy like her mom or lazy like her dad, but I don't care. I love that name.

All that leads to the renovation of my computer room. *Cry* As much as I love this room, I haven't really utilized it like I used to and it's time to turn the house upside down for the sake of a child. God. I still can't fully comprehend all this. *Laugh* Either way, it has to be done. I've been rather slow at revamping it all, but I figure, I still have 3-4 months to do it all.

Work is still good. Same place, different position. My boss is rather accommodating and my schedule can be changed and rearranged to what I need which is a big plus. I'd rather stay home with the baby after the pregnancy but bills aren't going to allow that unless I win the lottery so, back to work it'll be. My hope is that my mother-in-law will retire - seeing how both, my sister-in-law and I, are pregnant and are due two weeks apart - and babysit. I cannot afford a babysitter nor would I want to. While my sister-in-law will stay home with her two kids, I'd rather she not take care of a toddler and two newborn babies.

Then there's this baby registry thing! *Rolleyes* Everyone's asked if I've already set it up and whatnot. *Shock2* Okay, I mean, come on! At least I decided on the name. I'm slowly adding it up and figured Amazon and Walmart would be my two best options. It's the matter of what I want that's a complete dilemma. I want it all! *Rolling*

And here I thought writing took a back seat this past year. I'm curious what will happen in a few months from now!

The last trip we took was to Colorado Springs, right after I found out I was pregnant because, let's face it, there won't be any twelve hour road-trips in the next year or so. A friend is planning all these trips for the summer and I'm like, bitch, I don't want to sit in the 100 degree heat with a month old baby. It's like, Wtf?!

Still, we loved Colorado and the amazing things we've seen. I even reached out to Beth who's about an hour drive from Colorado Springs but she was busy. *Sad* I texted her because I didn't know how she'd feel about me calling and I have a feeling that, for now at least, she's cut her ties with WdC. I didn't want to pressure her into meeting with us for dinner but I felt the distance a bit and I think she's still going through stuff. I hope she comes around. I do miss her!

There you have it, folks! The Blue Witch is going to be a Mama Blue Witch with a little munchkin on her hands soon. I'm excited and a bit scared at the same time, but I think those feelings are normal. I'll try my best to keep in touch as much as I can and who knows, this place might need me. I mean, the last season of Game Of Thrones starts next month and I'm still heartbroken about the fact that I didn't get a chance to run the last GoT extravaganza... *Think* *Rolling* I better quit while I'm ahead. *Heart*

I've missed you guys and this place! *Kiss*
January 11, 2018 at 1:25am
January 11, 2018 at 1:25am
#926848
I feel like I haven't been online in months. Okay, I haven't really been on WdC in that particular span of time, other than the random newsletter quickly written issue, then back offline again. The energy is simply not there to sit in front of a screen, to blab about the daily bullshit, to tell you what I ate today, or yesterday, or whatever the fuck happened to me on a daily basis. It's just standard - was standard BS.

Still, I figured it's about time I give some kind of smoke signal *Fire* *Wind* to let you guys know I haven't disappeared off the face of the earth, at least not permanently just yet. *Gag* Whatever. You get the damn picture.

Last time I blogged, I quit my job. Now, I have a part time job that feels almost as a full time job and it's at... oh, take a wild fucking guess... at Wallyworld! Yes. No. But, yes. I had random interviews, I had interviews at various dental offices, I had interviews at a few local post offices, gas stations, something else as well that I can't recall at the moment, and the final decision was freaking Wallyworld.

I know you'll ask why. Why take a less paying job in a place so many hate instead of a nice salary (which would pay twice as much) at a dental office with a clean uniform, or any other random place? I needed change. Just the thought of working in a dental office brought back the memories of my last dental office job, the psycho I worked for, the impressions I hated to take, the temporary crowns I despised making. The post office would have been my choice job but since I live in the boonies, I needed my own car for delivering mail, right side drive, which is not possible with my Kia so that ruled the job out.

A friend of mine, after hearing that I applied at Walmart, said she'll have her cousin who works there put in a word for me. I'm sorry, but I about died laughing at that. I mean, if I, the person who speaks three languages, the person who flew all around the country, can't get a damn job at Walmart, then what the fuck is left? Right? Come on.

The interview was more of a joke than anything else and after talking to four, yes, four people, in a single interview, the job was mine before I even walked out. They never said it really, just told me when to show up to start. The only important question they asked throughout the 30 minute interview was, would I consider going back to my old jobs, which was a definite, hell no, I wouldn't. That was it, position reserved, when can you start type of deal.

Today marks the three months I've been working there and to my own surprise, I love working there! The people I work with are awesome, friendly, cool. A few of them are around my age and we clicked right away. I've never really done cashiering at such a big place, but it's quite fun! I love the interaction with people - even the weird ones. *Rolling*

It's considered part time, because I can't go over a certain amount of hours per week, but so far, I've done more than what I should on more than one occasion because they keep calling me to come in to come in on days off to help out. Yes, I'm a workaholic. People, random customers, have already called the store to make sure management knows what a great job I did while checking them out, because I seem to have gone above and beyond. Granted, I don't do anything special and I treat all the customers the same but I guess some feel appreciated and need to say so. Yay me, right?

Anyway! Management, my supervisors as well as main management made sure I knew that someone already called - I have a feeling it doesn't happen too often {e:think) - but my manager seemed quite impressed. She came up to me to tell me personally about the call and ask me what I did that was so special because the customer kept going on and on about what a great job I did. Um, nothing unusual and nothing I don't do for almost all other customers. {e:proud} *Geek* Next morning, my supervisors comes up to me and says I have a surprise for you.

If you know me, then you know I fucking hate surprises. Not to mention, this is said at 7 AM and I'm not even functioning yet while at work. So, long story short, she tells me she's switching my work place to customer service. I've got three weeks to prove myself or I go back to cashiering. So far I've learned quickly whatever they threw my way and I hope I can learn this as well in the time period allotted for me. Wish me luck and keep your fingers crossed. It pays more and there's a better chance of me getting a full time position with this which is what I've been hoping for.


Now that you know where I've been and what I've done work-wise, let me also tell you that I haven't done shit writing related. It's not such a bad thing, but I've been under a lot of stress. The fact that I took a pay cut - which is fucking shocking that it was possible - some bills aren't getting paid at the moment and while I just deal with it, I just need to say it (write it) before I explode.

I really wasn't planning on sticking around here at all, let alone write an entry, but I saw that Fivesixer tagged me in his entry and his mention of his many random notebooks and it made me laugh. Mostly because, the reason why I hopped online was to check on some books and to see which books from which of my favorite writers I'm missing. You see, I have a notebook that contains all the writers and the books I own by them. You tell me who's more crazy? Bert or I? *Laugh*


You guys know I've missed you, right? I've received many B-day cards and Christmas cards and I know I'm terrible when it comes to replying, or keeping up with that, but I want you to know that I appreciate it all. I hope I can find my way back here on a bit more stable schedule but until then, I'll be a sporadic member of WdC until I can stand on my feet again. *Think*

I just hope you all had great holidays, a merry Christmas, a happy New Year and all that good stuff. My Christmas tree is still up and in great shape. I'm sure Witchy woman would love to hear that good news. *Wink* Tarzan didn't seem too interested in the tree and knocked only a few ornaments down just for the hell of it. Considering how much I was dreading putting up the tree and what would happen to it before Christmas even came around, last thing I expected was his disinterest. I'll take it though. *Cat2* *TreePine*

In other news, dad and I finally made the puppies a new dog house! *House* It looks really good, I just need to paint the outside and put their names on it. They love it though. It took a few weeks to get it all done, what with our different schedules and what not, but we managed to get it finished just in time before the really cold weather came around.

And man, was it fucking cold! We've stuffed the house with hay so they stay warm and there were many days where they didn't even want to step foot outside it. On one of those days I went into the house to check on them and ended up laying around with them, snuggling and just goofing around, to the point of being covered in hay from head to toe. They thought it was fun. *Laugh* It's a good thing their house is four by eight and I can fully lay there with them as they try to sit on my lap or try to crush me with their weight because they think that's how you're supposed to cuddle. *Dog1* Now that the weather warmed up, it's muddy out and yet again, Bonnie, who is such a prima-donna hates leaving the house because she likes to keep her paws clean and dry. *Rolling*

Alright, that's it from me for now. It's late and tomorrow I've got a lot of stuff to do. *Kiss* You'll hear from me again eventually. Love you, guys! *Heart*
August 21, 2017 at 12:05pm
August 21, 2017 at 12:05pm
#918068
I cannot wait for the solar eclipse to be done and over it! *Gag* Who makes money off of a natural phenomenon? Only in America. Sad. Not only are we charging people admission and parking in, what are actually, free public places, we have people who own bigger farms who are selling parking tickets so people can park and watch the view. I can understand the farmers, I cannot understand the rest.

It is hotter than usual today, even this early in the day, and I am not going to step a foot outside, not even when the moon passes in front of the sun. I've seen a partial eclipse when I was younger and while that won't be anything compared to this, I've had enough dreams this past night which will last me a lifetime. It has become such an uproar here in St. Louis, Misery that it's hard to avoid the subject.

My dreams were quite different. Somehow, Witchy woman and her hubby were here as well but they missed seeing it. The weird power of dreams.

First dream about solar eclipse: We (I) were in a large open-spaced building with windows covering the entire walls and a vicious storm had moved in. Lightening flashed and popped at ridiculous speeds and the more it thundered, the bigger that cloud became. I laughed and said to someone 'Guess we won't see it after all if the storm persists.' because it seemed to happen right before the event. Whoever that someone was next to me told me that the solar eclipse happened at midnight the night before. Of course, I ended up calculating to figure out where the event happened and how could the news be that wrong!

Second dream about solar eclipse: Even though the second, it seemed as if happened before the first experience but there were Vic and Lyn and we were packing up stuff to go inside the same building. There were clouds in the sky and Vic said something about what to expect. Next thing I know, the sun and the clouds are gone and all I see are stars in the twilight sky. It felt as if I blinked and this change happened but I couldn't explain it. It looked very pretty and I wondered why anyone thought it'd be dangerous to look at it directly.

Third dream about the solar eclipse: The house we were in - and I still don't know who the other people were exactly - reminded me of our house back in Bosnia. Wasn't the same but similar. As I hurried inside I glanced out the window and saw the bright sun and another oval shape right next to it so I rushed to close the shades and grab the cat so he wouldn't go pass them to explore, and entered what looked to be a living room. We all sat there as the sun burned through the shades and then an eerie quite descended as well as darkness, except for the small outline of the burning ball in the sky.

I don't know if this has anything to do with people constantly talking about it or with the change that's about to happen in less than three hours, but I've had enough of it. Who dreams so much about a damn solar eclipse?!
August 8, 2017 at 12:26am
August 8, 2017 at 12:26am
#917050
*Irritated* I wish I could help others with their problems rather than deal with my own. Not so easy when my own are starting me down every goddamn day of every week, month. I don't even want to talk about it, don't want to write about it, don't want to deal with it period. I have to. I'm edgy, irritated, grumpy, moody, whatnot. It's all piled up in a ball and then GoT comes around and shit gets worse which doesn't help while running the game.

I just feel boxed in. People from all sides are just annoying the crap out of me - I'm talking about those who I see on a day to day basis. My biggest fear is that by trying to keep my mouth shut and play nice, I'll eventually flip the switch and blow up. It's how I am, it's what I do. I don't like injustice and I get tired of others telling me how to do things, when to do them, why I should do them.

Today wasn't a good day at all. The plan was to drive around, take some pictures for iKïyå§ama , so she can see the boonies I live in and there's one particular spot I've been wanting to get a picture of. Reminds me of something similar to Gates of Heaven, not that I know what they look like, but if I could choose, I'd picture a sunny day and that specific view. It reminds me of freedom and beauty and an almost blank canvas where I could do and build whatever I wish...

Instead of doing what I wanted, I spent all day here updating, creating, answering, because it was gloomy out and I didn't want to see that precious view during those kinds of hours. I'm just so very tired of the same shit in my life. That's all.
June 30, 2017 at 3:42pm
June 30, 2017 at 3:42pm
#914439
Today, I've got nothing but supervising on the agenda. Well, there's plenty to clean and computer stuff to update and whatnot, but hubby suggested I keep him company.

This is my favorite time. Not the killing part but rather the sitting around at work and not doing a damn thing.

Hope you don't mind the dead lamb. *Angelic*

And since I'm at it, let me share some of my animal pictures. I got a little duckling just recently. He had two brothers but they got erm, killed by the puppy accidentally.

The rooster! *Laugh* Now that's my Charlie and he has nothing in common with our Charlie 🌈. I wish Witchy woman and Vic could have stopped by here to see all this when they were here.

Since I'm sharing pictures, here's one of me and my niece, whom I call pork chop.

June 22, 2017 at 4:12pm
June 22, 2017 at 4:12pm
#913876
It's not that I lack inspiration - well, sometimes I do - I just lack the necessary time to sit down and contribute here on a regular basis. These past few months have been ridiculous. Ever since dad put his house on the market, it's been sheer torture. I can't say I've enjoyed it much. *Laugh*

He sold his house in less than a day! That wasn't something I planned on but in the end it turned out to be a good thing because dealing with dad and his alleged after-work schedule was absurd. Two days of showings and I thought he was going to have another heart attack while giving me a panic attack in the process. Funniest thing... When our realtor asked how much time we'd need to pack up a three store house, dad's reply was...

Four to five days! *Shock2*

As if! They gave us a month. A solid time to go through stuff, check what he doesn't want or need and pack up his crap. Yeah, right. Three days before he had to move out, I was sweating my ass off putting shit together, packaging random crap in various boxes just to get things going. I swear, for those three days, every time I ran into dad on a certain floor, he'd cuss, complain how much shit there is, and that we'll never get it done. I wanted to scream and say that if he'd actually done what he was supposed to do, we wouldn't be in the mess in the first place. Seeing how we were, I also wanted to yell for him to stop complaining and actually start packing!

I couldn't wait!

Two weeks he spent with us. Two weeks of babysitting. Two weeks of making sure we're home before nightfall due to his fear of our dogs. The fact that he'd get home after work before us and that he'd walk into the house uninterrupted, went by unnoticed by him.

Then those two weeks went by.

More than half his stuff was in storage and the other half graced our front yard and side porch as well as half of the basement. He got himself a two bedroom apartment, even though his preferred choice had been one bedroom. Anyway, we move him in, start taking most his stuff to his new place. Yes, there is a lot of stuff. Mostly because he didn't go through it before he moved and I have no idea what he wants to keep or not, so he gets it all.

Last night he called, bitching about the fact that his apartment is full, he has no place to sit, and he hasn't even opened half the boxes he's got sitting there. Now what am I supposed to say to that? Nothing. Silence is golden. Over a month of carrying crap back and forth, of him being the overly careful packer who didn't pack shit, who won't let us pack up a truck the way we want to because something may fall out, etc. I mean, I'm OCD and shit, but he's pushing the line on everything.

At one point, before he sold the house he was telling my hubby and I that we should move in with him. Enough space for all and all that. I said no. In my mind, I said hell to the no! Men are just useless. *Angelic* Such a pain in my ass most days. I don't care who you are. Men are so all over the place with shit it's not even funny. Hubby is the same way. His father is the same way. My dad, well, you've already heard about him. It's like, I'm better off doing shit on my own rather than have them do anything. God forbid they finish something - even with someone's help. They'll let you know how tired they are, how much work they did, and how proud you should be of them for their job done. A pat on the back is not only necessary but almost mandatory. Yet here I am, busting my ass at work, busting my ass at home, feeding animals and taking care of them in both places, cleaning, cooking, paying bills and all that fancy shebang. I still manage to pack up dad, unpack him, pack him up again, and now I'm supposed to unpack and pack his stuff up again? Nah, I don't do much.

Now you know where I've been and what I've been dealing with. *Think*

I do feel a bit better now that I've unloaded that baggage. What else?

Writing? I don't even know where the time went! The 30-day image prompt contest managed to get two crappy entries of mine and 52 weeks around the world has yet to see an entry from me. I may be behind on those but I am getting back into the swing of things...as soon as I finish dealing with dad's crap.

July is right around the corner. I can't even believe where the time went. Half a year gone! It's a bit scary. It also means that GoT is approaching and I can smell snow in the air. Okay, not really, but I can't wait for the games to start. Needless to say that I haven't gotten shit ready and all my ideas are still in my head instead of created. At least I know what I want, which is half the work done. After this weekend the plan is to binge watch the GoT show to draw out some more ideas. I know how people just love those. *Rolling* I don't know if it'll be an epic game, but there's never a dull moment during that game.

Okay, since I'm still at work, I guess I better move my ass and get to doing something productive. You'll see me around! *Hand2*
April 26, 2017 at 1:29pm
April 26, 2017 at 1:29pm
#909903
...something or someplace to whisk away to, to escape the chaos, find that much needed peace...

It feels as if forever went by since I stepped foot into the written world. A decade almost, yet it hasn't been more than a few months. Or has it even been that long at all? I cannot recall.

My life...where to begin? Not sure where I even left off. Dad's heart attack threw everything out of balance. For him, for me. The decision to put the house on the market had been a wise one. I grabbed on to the final say as if for dear life - he's been talking about it for over three years now.

We spent two weeks cleaning out the main clutter, doing small fixes, and storing most of his unused, dust collecting collectables, in our basement. That's about one third of the stuff he owns, about half the stuff I still have left to get and drag into our dungeon. It was worth the long days, the many hours of driving, packing, keeping my mouth shut, then dragging it all to our house.

His house went on the market, officially, on Monday. Yesterday he got a second offer on the place and I took it. Full price. All they want is the fridge. They can have it! The private viewing appointments, even for only two days, were putting a strain on our relationship. He's picky, hard to change his habit, and all showings were for the late afternoons into evening hours. He got cranky fast. This deal was a god-sent.

Now comes the hard part.

I still have to find out what the entire contract entails, how long before they want to move in, etc. The little things that matter and stretch out into forever, but I'll deal with it, just like I deal with everything else. Next on the agenda is apartment hunting. That will be a challenge since his needs and specifications are down to the millisecond. Half the stuff he owns will end up at our place since it's too big to go into an apartment. His basement is full of random goodies such as tools, unused cookwares and some such nonsense. Both hubby and his little brother are looking forward to the tools and gadgets. *Laugh* A verbal fight might ensue, but I have a feeling the little guy will win fast. After the move, whenever it does come around, things should be easier and settle into the normality of the every day life. At least I'm hoping.

When it comes to work, I'd say we're short on people still, but we've managed to figure out our work load so we're not packed. That might change though. Nothing is ever for certain in this business. I go with the flow and deal with whatever comes each day, one item/animal/problem at a time. No way around it.

In the next few weeks I'll be using my downtime to clean up my own house, go through his things, and see what I'd like to keep. Anything unwanted is going to a yard sale. I do have a hard time parting with any item, big or small, for sentimental reasons, but I also know that I can't keep everything. Especially if it doesn't have a purpose.

Once everything settles down, and by that I mostly mean my dad, I should be able to be back here. It's already end of April and time does fly fast. There were moments in the past where I thought I had nothing to say on this site, nothing to contribute, where I almost deleted my account. Now, I feel the pull of the written word, the need to at least doodle on a page, scribble words down. It's not just the site that calls me, it's something inside me that yanks at my soul... The need to get the writing out there, no matter how good or bad, in order to breathe, to think straight, to be sane.

Never fear, in time I'll find my footing again and join the dreamers on this site who share the same passion as I. Until then, I want you to know that you are terribly missed and I can't wait to get back into the game of writing again.

*Heart*

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