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 |   A day in the life of... me! |
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A HUGE Thank you to Emily   for the beautiful ribbon  First place in "The Bard's Hall Contest"  for July/August 2012!A day in the life of... me! Sometimes I need to rant. Sometimes I have something burning on my mind. Sometimes I'm so angry I feel like reverting back to old coping mechanisms. So I thought a journal was a good idea! I feel ranting is an important part to life, everyone does it to some degree or another and it's not healthy to bottle things up inside. So for those moments where I feel a rant (or just a general thought) and want to get it off my chest, here it will be! However, ranting is not everything. Sometimes I just feel like I want to share something with someone, and often there is nobody to listen (wow that makes me sound sad! I do have friends but I tend to let them do the talking rather than share). So here I can get things off my chest, rant or be happy, whatever the mood ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| I had a super productive day yesterday. I was back at work for the first time since getting back from my holiday so had a few hours sleep through the day, but I got up super early and managed to get to a few shops to look for some scrapbooks (not that I found any). I showered and sorted out all of my banking and finances ready for hopefully getting a mortgage. Then I spoke to my dead friend nangwaya about very exciting things that Fiction and Verse and launching into. If you haven't visited, it's a new online magazine accepting short stories, poetry and it has a hook section. To find out what it's all about visit www.fictionandverse.com. Then I slept for a few hours and played with my nephews when they woke me up. Then I spent several hours on WdC before going to work reading and finally beginning to catch up with my email. Then it was time for work. I have to say, it was really nice to be back after having some time off. I think that just goes to show how much I really do enjoy my job |
| Well I'm back from my week of relaxing in a hot tub in Shropshire and trying to catch up with my emails. I loved my time away. The lodge we stayed in was amazing, the food brilliant and the company even better. I've been friends with those girls since school and that's never going to change. We might not see each other regularly, especially as one moved a little way down the country, but the fact that we always come together doesn't change. It's so great seeing how people have grown up, the changes they have gone through and seeing myself reflected in that. We did so much last week including a trip to an aquarium, King Arthur's Cave and Chester Zoo. I enjoyed every minute of it and have plenty of photos to prove it. I might just try and upload my first photo album when I get a chance! Now it's back to reality and while it's sad, in a way, it's nice. I've missed being on here and my usual routine. I thought about my job a lot while I was away and the women I work with. I can't wait to jump back into that! And I'm looking forward to what will hopefully be my next big trip: New Zealand! That's right, I've put in for a month of annual leave so fingers crossed I get that! |
| It feels so surreal but I've just submitted my novella, The Doors, for publication! I feel nervous and excited all at once! Is this what it always feels like? It's a story that started as a dream, typed out one day while at a different place of work where I was neither use nor ornament, and it's grown from there. It's my baby project and I really adore it. Even if I don't get accepted I won't be deterred, perhaps there will be another publisher who is right for me. I want to say a huge thank you to all of those people out there who have taken the time to offer me support and well needed criticism including: Elena  , Shaye  , Nixie  , Joto-Kai  , Charlie Cogwin , ~A.J. Lyle~ , platinumbwords and Early . Thank you so much for all of your invaluable feedback! You helped me improve my story as best I could!But I particularly want to say a HUGE thanks to Vaun-Away-Busy-MissingEveryone who stayed with me the whole way, offering advice, support and positive encouragement. If it wasn't for you, this piece wouldn't have been submitted  |
| I've just spend a lovely night away in Blackpool for my partner's, sister's birthday. We had a lot more fun than I thought we would! We visited Madam Tussauds and the Sea Life Centre (both of which were fab and provided plenty of chances for me to play with my camera!) We had chips for lunch, of course, and also spent time playing in the amusements which was fun. All in all, a good laugh! The only thing that spoiled it for me a little was the drive there and back. We drove in constant rain with spray from other cars, and worse, lorries, caught the windscreen. I was pretty scared actually. Especially coming back. We left at 5:30 but by seven it began getting dark and by eight we were driving along a pitch road with a lorry sat too close for comfort behind me and plenty of puddles to watch out for. Let me tell you, I aqua planed more than once. It was super scary. But I made it back in once piece. On the way back I drove in my jarmies! It took us half an hour to walk back to the car and by this time we were soaked, it was my only option, I couldn't have imagined driving in skinny jeans, bleugh! Not when my legs were soaking wet, don't think I could have gotten them on! On Sunday we're off on our holiday which I'm super excited about! Four of my friends and my partner staying in a cabin for five days. Heaven! Did I mention there was a hot tub?! |
| Last night I attended a benefit for my local rape crisis Centre. Two really well known female comedians plus two male comedians, gave up their time voluntarily to entertain over 2000 people and raise much needed funds for the centre. The night was chaotic, busy and absolutely amazing. The whole staff team was there as well as so many volunteers and it was great to see us all out in force. As well as seeing so many of the public out there willing to support a good cause. I was the official photographer (pffft) and got to run around like a loon taking pictures of things and happy people which was quite fun. I really enjoyed myself. Some of my family and friends came which was brilliant, I loved being there with them and knowing they were supporting a good cause. The night ended really well with huge ceremony, pictures of the celebrities and talking with another amateur photographer about cameras! Then I met a couple of my friends for a drink before heading home. I also found out last night that I'm being nominated for Volunteer of the Year, North East! How amazing is that! I know that it probably won't go anywhere but it's such an honour that they think so highly of me enough to nominate me!  |
| I had a dream I was at a festival. This was the muddiest and dirtiest place you could imagine and the worst part is, I couldn't even hear what music was on! Oh my. I bet I ended up somewhere I didn't want to be. Especially since two of my girl friends who find my music a little daunting were there. In my dream we all went to go to the toilet and it was like a huge block, almost like school toilets but set aside. I was laughing and saying, I bet this thing sinks into the mud because it was so bad. And just as I was about to release my stream, it began to sink into the mire. I had time to grab my bag (lost my keys) before I jumped up and out of the stall. My friends were pretty fortunate too and it only half sunk but man it was scary! Perhaps I should be going to another festival! |
| Have you ever bit hit with a sudden crushing realisation that the dreams you have are not likely to come true? Right now, I have two things I want most in my life. I want to travel to New Zealand and experience the land, the nature, the people and the beauty of that place. I want to hike and eat and drink and meet people while staying in hostels. The second thing is that I want my own home, something to call my own. I can't look at getting a mortgage for another few months but even then, I know I'm looking at a relatively low starting sum that would enable me to get a flat rather than a house. I'm beginning to feel like I have to sabotage one dream to gain another and I can't stand that thought. I want my own home but the thought of never being able to save to go to New Zealand terrifies me. I need freedom. I feel so cooped up right now. Perhaps things are just getting on top of me and I'm tired, who knows? |
| I want to be honest and say my meditation has completely gone down the pan the last few days. I usually work three on and three off but I had some annual leave and had five off, now I'm doing overtime tonight to be followed by two days off and four days in. I've not found myself able to meditate. I think a lot of it is because I'm with my partner, I don't think he quite understands and I don't want to be judged. The other part of it is, when I'm lying down and finally getting sleepy enough to drop off I don't want to get back up again to meditate when I remember I haven't done it. So, I guess I'm struggling a little with this. Hopefully I can pick it up again, I do find it relaxes me! In other news, how fantastic are the birthday celebrations around here! I feel like I constantly want to be logged on and doing something whether it be reviewing, reading or writing. There are so many fun contests and activities to take place in. This is truly my second home I've been feeling quite inspired and took part in several contests which is great for me as sometimes I find it hard to make/find time to write and certainly prompts are something I sometimes struggle with. So being able to participate in the festivities has been brilliant How are you all finding it? |
I've joined a new group, it's called the Dream and Meditation Group run by my lovely friend Emily .
She advised me that perhaps one way to ahieve a better sleeping pattern could be through meditation. When I asked her about this she sent me an email saying there was a new group I could join. So far I have tried meditation once. It served to certainly relax me and ready myself for the state of sleep. Something I found quite hard was being able to keep my mind free of anything. I think we live in a fast past world and many of us are always busy. I feel like I'm always thinking what do I have to do now, what next. So the key is to free you mind of everything and if you find your mind beginning to wander, to count down from ten slowly. I think it may take some getting used to but hopefully, if it becomes a routine, I'll get there! |
| I know now, that despite how hard the decision was to make, I did the right thing by cutting back a bit on my voluntary activities. I think I'm going to miss it and I think it's going to take a long time to get used to not being there every week, or thereabouts. But I'm coming to a point in my life where things are changing. I'm growing up. I've got my first job of my career and that is something I really want to take seriously. While I was working my other temporary jobs, while I did my job, it wasn't something I enjoyed and I knew it wouldn't be forever, so doing extra-curricular activities was one way to stay connected to the thing I loved to do. It was also much easier to fit into a 9-5 schedule. Now that I'm working nightshifts and my days in change every week, I struggle to know what day it is never mind what I'm supposed to be doing. Plus, I suppose I'm at that age where I'm beginning to mentally grow up (a lot) and want to fly the nest and do things for myself. I consider myself a pretty independant woman but until I can support myself fully, I'll not be as content as can be. I want to move out. I want my own place, a pad that I can call my own. Rooms that I can decorate just the way I want and make it mine. I think that's a really important part of life, a rite if you will. I look forward to moving out and being this and being on my own for a while. I'm concentrating more too on my writing. I've been editing, more than I've ever done in my life and even looking for prospective publishers. And hey, if it doesn't happen it doesn't, but there's no harm in trying. I guess it means that I'm really believing in myself now. Sure, I still have moments where I doubt my existence but most of the time, things are good and I'm happy and I can say, yeah, I worked hard for this. So, though it hurts now, I know I'm doing the right thing for me at the right time. |
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Just for you BJ Hope your have'n a good day. 
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