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 |  A new year, a new blog, same mess of a writer. |
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It's been a while, but since the world is a mess, I might as well take a crack at this writing thing again.  I Write in 2019 ▼ 12 Stories in 12 Months ▼  |
| Date: 07.20.17 -- Day 45 Music: "Skin" / Rag'n'Bone Man It's kind of amazing how things can change so swiftly in such a short amount of time. I was suppose to do a bunch of errands today, including a trip south to see my rheumatologist. However, in a snap, the appointment needed to be rescheduled. Then the order I was going to pick up was pushed back a day. And then someone I admired died this morning, taking his own life. Talking about any of that really isn't in the cards though. There is only so much rawness of being I can handle today, so I'm going to tackle that later on and divert my brain a bit; it seems like the kindest thing I can do for myself right now. This past month has been me trying to get back into short story writing as I've primarily dedicated myself to longer endeavors theae last couple of years, nothing of which is anywhere near finished. If anything, things seem to be getting bigger, broader, and longer, lol. My love for world-building can get the best of me sometimes. So my hope has been to get one short story finished by the end of the month. The original expectation was five, which I whittled down to three, and has finally rested at one given how fast I'm writing. (It's so slow, it's nonexistent.) The big problem, if you haven't guessed it, is that I will get an idea for a story and my brain runs with it a bit too much. The first short story, "Caught A Long Wind"  , was suppose to be for a fantasy contest that is due today. There's just no way I'm going to finish on time. There's still too much to get all the parts done. I simply built the world too big. My second short story, "Blue Moon's Folly" , for a supernatural contest is ending up as a small part in a bigger universe I first started engineering back during my first NaNo in 2009. Needing to get the details right, I'm going back through files, trying to lay down all the pieces. It's kind of becoming absurd.Realizing how ridiculous this was, I took a break yesterday and watched a couple of movies I've been meaning to catch up on - Warcraft and The Last Witch Hunter. The first had potential, but the editing was a mess and all the emotional payoffs they were hoping for fell short because of it. The latter was actually pretty decent? I went in with low expectations, but the production was smooth and beautiful, and the story as a whole, until the end, was actually quite nice. It was a pleasant surprise. A surprise that my brain took as permission to ask questions, to make fresh stories, to create something new...and big. Why is it always big and grand? I should let it go. I mean, really, I should let it float away. It's not like a need a new idea or a new story that is wide sweeping and needs a boatload of tinkering. Yet here I am. I'm just not the kind of person to let stories slide through my fingers. At least not yet. So I'm going to arch it like I've been doing the others and just roll with the progression of everything. Because it's summer, and one of my few happy places, and this is what I do? Honestly, I want to see where it goes. I want to see what my protagonist can do with the lot she's been given. Maybe it'll take my mind off things and potentially help me process everything else. For a while I'll be in another world with different rules and potentially happier endings. I can live with that for today. |
| Date: 07.14.17 -- Day 44 Music: "Afraid" / Amel Larrieux Looking back on older writing can be a bit of trip. I've been going through my old portfolio and searching through different writings, some of which I've been deleting or making private because they're either really rough and problematic or just notes for a project I never finished. Oh boy. Some of this stuff is just...so much, lol. One of the things I've been trying to come to terms with is the ability to grow as a writer. You're most likely going to have cringe-worthy stuff. It's inevitable. It's necessary to work out what your voice is. This is where "it's the journey not the destination" truly proves its worth. The one that made me cringe and chuckle was a contest entry for "14 Days, 7 Prompts, 1 Story Contest" from back in 2009 -- "Harvest Lake" . (Full confession, I renamed it after reading through it.) My original intent to reading it again was to delete it. Out with the old, in with the new. I mean, it is pretty rough. I can be a concise writer, but this was moving at tremendous speeds for the characters I was writing, particularly the main character, Norah. Now, she sounds more petulant than a fully-developed character with any real dimension. And the tension between her and her ex-husband was a bit forced. It was really something that need more space than I gave it. Plus, the gotcha moment in the fifth entry, while trying to be subtle, can completely go over the readers' heads because I'm not that good of a writer to make that work.I say all of this, yet I couldn't delete it. It is a reminder of where I was as a writer eight years ago. It is a reminder that I want to get better. And maybe, just maybe, I can make it better. "Harvest Lake" has some potential. Maybe a revision project? (Some things never change, do they Lonewolf  ?) Or maybe I leave it as is to remain that reminder that I was a different writer than I am now. There was points of potential in that story. May even have some of that potential left. Who knows? If I could recommend one thing, it would be to go through your archives and remember the writer you once were. Take that journey down memory. Wallow yourself in nostalgia. You might even be surprised by what you find. |
| Date: 07.12.17 - Day 43 (10th Anniversary!) Music: "24k Magic" / Bruno Mars Traditionally, the 10th anniversary is celebrated with tin or aluminum, but I think it's a gold kind of moment. It's kind of mind-boggling that I've been on the site for ten years, more or less. Writing has been a large part of my life, both on and off WDC. It's an uphill climb to be sure, but I do love it. It has become a part of me. Thank you so much to everyone who sent me a note or kind word today! Everyone here has been so kind and considerate over the years. No matter what page or story or shop you visit, you can see the hard work and cooperation of many who try to make WDC the best, from fostering new writers to commemorating the veterans. So here is a special thanks to all the Moderators, the contest runners and writers, the signature creators, the award coordinators, the workshop facilitators, the writing mentors, and most especially to The StoryMaster   & The StoryMistress  for such a lovely site.    Here's to ten more years!  |
| Date: 07.07.17 -- Day 41 Music: "The Chain" / Fleetwood Mac Learning how to outline a story has always been a problem for me. In the beginning, I simply didn't do it. My writing was all about free-thought and free-flowing ideas. As my disabilities began to kick in, I couldn't do that anymore. The brain just didn't have the power, captain. So outlining and I have attempted to become friends. Weird friends. Friends that do not always talk with each other about changes. However, practice makes perfect, and I definitely need the practice. Here are some tidbits about the short story I'm working on. Main Character: Merula. A traveling jester, once a great warrior in a far-off kingdom. Potential Characters: Aloma, Chelidon, Fiach, Lonan, Manu, Vireo, Gawain, Akos, Kestrel, Aderyn, Lark, Halcyon, Gwennol Sirins: "The Siren is essentially associated with sorrow and darkness—records tells us that a Siren would arrive on Apple Spas in the apple orchard full of sorrow but in the afternoon Alkonost emerges to rejoice and laugh. She also sang beautiful songs to the saints and foretold future joys, but they charmed humans (especially merchants) with their exquisite voices until they forgot everything related to earth, followed the divine creatures until they died of lethargy and perished in the sea." Gamayun: "The Gamayun, like the Alkonost, is illustrated as a large bird figure with a woman’s head. Her iconic image represents happiness, prosperity and harmony. She is essentially a messenger for peace and sings beautiful melodies. She is considered to be prophetic in Russia as she is aware of everything that occurs within the world including man and animal, and she knows all amongst the gods and heroes. She lives on an island in the East near the Euphrates River or Eden. The Pythoness is not usually depicted with the Alkonost nor Siren, she is permanently alone knowing the secret fate of humans and the world." Alkonosts: "The Alkonost exudes beauty and docility and, filled with contentment, flies around projecting a sound that is both exquisite and hypnotising. She enamours those who hear her voice and mentally immobilizes them until they disregard everything in order to hear her delightful melodies. Her eggs are laid on the sea-shore and then placed in the ocean. According to one version of Slavic folklore, she is able to regulate the weather to her liking; there is a calm before a storm for seven days until the eggs fully hatch." All of this information and more can be found at Ancient Origins . So my hope is to combine some of these myths in a fantasy setting, talk about how the set of these mythical creatures were banished, learned to survive on their wits, then were offered a chance to go home. It'll be a while, but this should be interesting. |
| Date: 07.06.17 -- Day 40 Music: "Overcome" / Laura Mvula featuring Niles Rodgers Finding inspiration for a story hasn't been a problem for a while now. Sometimes my brain has a tendency to create grand things out of the simplest of interactions, lyrics to a song, or the color of the sky if I happen to catch just write. I love my imagination for that, and I kind of...hate it, too. Trying to slam the breaks on something like a new story can be both frustrating and heartbreaking because I cannot give it the full attention it deserves. As it is, I know I will not be able to write out all the things I've imagined. There are simply not enough years in my lifetime. Idk if that's a "with great power comes great responsibility" issue or "all things come with a price" issue, but it's definitely an issue. To try and curve this problem, I've been writing in the different storyverses I've created for several years now. These are projects with at least five books, usually more, estimated within the series. It's a long, sometimes tedious process as my brain ain't what it used to be. However, writing those has left me no time to write poetry or one-shot short stories. The funny thing about this is that I used to hate reading novel series and promised myself never to read them. So my hope is to carve out some time while I'm on break from school to write some short stories that have no connection to each. Try to unhook the grand plan part of my brain and just write for the exercise. Maybe even attempt some poetry! To do that I've looked up some contests to get some writing inspiration. A quick shout out to all the contest runners and writers on WDC because all of you are amazing for dedicating your time to a contest. The ones I've been thinking about are:  "Fabulous Fantasy Contest " by A E Willcox  "Rhythms & Writing: Official WDC Contest" by Writing.Com Support  "Supernatural Writing Contest - Closed" by Jaeyne of the Free Fab Five  "Paranormal Romance Contest" by Jim Hall - GoT Forest Child  "The Flash Blog Contest - Closed" by Dee "The Grim Reaper Contest - Closed" by Fictiøn Ðiva the Wørd Weava Knowing me, I probably won't make it the finish line, although I would love to do just that. The main goal is to get that momentum flowing again. Dust off the cobwebs, crack my knuckles, and find some room for something that will not take volumes to finish. Let's see if I can stop myself from being me, lol |
| Date: 07.05.17 -- Day 39 Music: "Now We Are Free" & "The Rains of Castamere" / Tina Gao Travels update. I made it back. Kind of in pieces, but it was worth it. The experience was a life-changing weekend. I got to meet some of my distant cousins on my father's mother's side. It gave me a window into her life a bit, making her a bit less elusive. The amazing thing about DC is that I got see the National Museum of African American Culture and Heritage. I have no worries to explain what walking through the museum meant to me. So many emotions of pain, pride, and a small sense of peace. Like a part of myself settled into its rightful place. These are my people, and that I was able to share that experience with family made it more of a momentous occasion. I cannot recommend going and experiencing this museum if you're ever in DC. I was also able to spend some time at the African American Civil War Museum, which one of my cousins serves on their board of trustees. I was able to see the names of my ancestors on the monument standing in honor of the soldiers who fought during the Civil War. To be able to circle back and acknowledge them, even in a brief, silent moment to myself was something I still do not have words for. More than ever I wanted to let them know that we made it, that we remember them, and that they will not be forgotten. DC as a whole was not what I expected. Honestly, I had this image in my head that it to be taller, LOL. The heat and humidity were something else. It was already too hot before dawn arrived. But it definitely a place worth more exploration. I'd like to go back some day, walk the city more, get a better feel of everything. I'm not city person by any stretch, but if I had to choose a city to live, I think DC would actually be a place I wouldn't mind (except in summer because dear me that was intense; and I've done my time with extremely hot summers long ago). So I came, I saw, I experienced, I returned. Should be grounded for a while.   |
| Date: 07.05.17 -- Day 38 Music: N/A - Informational Video on Moffat's Sherlock I've found this video quite interesting, mostly because it hit everything I've felt about this adaptation of Sherlockon the nose. I was a huge fan in the beginning, but over time I began to sour on watching because there were these gaps that kept growing larger and larger as I continued to watch. I have this a sad tendency to gloss over the horrible parts of something if there is one thing I connect with. The shine doesn't last, but the excuses in the start haunt me. I'm working on stopping this; it's a process. Side note: everything the presenter says about Steven Moffat as a writer is on point. We have given Moffat too much power. He will haunt us all, even the ones who tried to warn the rest of us. He's the bad aftertaste of a soda alternative one tries to enjoy but only tastes regret. |
| Date: 05.30.17 -- Day 37 Music: "Let It Drop" / The Kills So begins a long month of travel...California at the beginning of June; Washington, DC at the end of June, early July. This time of year has always been frustrating since I reached college because this is the quarter/semester where things come to an end, and everyone is in a rush to get things over and done with. Working in higher education only compounds the problem because we've reached graduation season. The biggest thing is trying not to get overly annoyed and be in a present state-of-mind for the good, celebratory times. I have students who are graduating, and I am so proud I could shout to the moon. And my little sister is graduating high school, which is why I'm hoping on a plane during my busiest work season. These are important milestones and I have the honor to be there to witness these things. It's just keeping everything in prospective. Traveling, for me, takes a great deal of planning as my body just isn't what it used to be. This trip to California involves several planes and buses in 100 degree summer heat. And it's a relatively quick trip so I need to be on my toes. Logistics can definitely be a pain, but this is essentially the same trip I take twice a year since I moved out of state. It's time-consuming but something I could do in my sleep. It's the trip to DC that worries me because I've never been, I'm relying on family I'll be meeting for the first time, and it's during a busy holiday weekend, so I'm more nervous about those unknown factors than anything else. Disabled, working, and traveling is a complicated dance to be sure. I think the biggest thing will be trying to keep my head in the game. It's been a struggle these past couple of months, trying to deal with old baggage. Things have been popping up more and more, and honestly, the depression and PTSD having been controlling more of my days than I would like. Trauma is never easy; trauma does not wait for a convenient schedule. If only it would take a break so I can get through this next month. I need to revise papers for students, make sure my mother's care while I'm gone is stable, make connections for planes, cheer through graduation ceremonies, and navigate a hundred other interactions while trying to get my body to chill. I don't have time for the mind mess even though it has plenty of time for me. Just gotta stay in the moment. And so begins a long month of travel. |
| Date: 04.26.17 -- Day 36 Music: "Hard Times" / Paramore New computer. Who dis? So, it's been a month. A very messy month, culminating in my computer reaching its last legs. I'm so damn hard on computers, and I tried to save that one, but unfortunately, it was just too gone. It has now been regulated to my "only in a case of emergency" laptop should the new one prove to be less than keen. The new laptop is nice. I sprung the extra $5 and got it in electric teal so I could have something a little jazzy in my life. The first couple of days were a bit of a drag. At first I thought it was a hardware issue, but luckily (at least in my case) it was a software problem. The initial installation of the operating system didn't work out properly, so I ended up needing to call the computer service company to have it reinstalled. The big worry was that I was going to have to return the laptop and wait for a replacement, which would have been a tremendous bummer because I need a laptop for nearly everything I do. Luckily, the stars were aligned with me and the reinstall was a success. Once that was finished, the laptop ran like a dream, and continues to keep trucking along. Naming new laptops has always been a bit of a thing for me. My tech philosophy is that one should treat their tech like they were people, each with their own personality. The laptop I ended up gifting to my mother is Roberta. Strong, dependable Roberta. The laptop that has recently retired was Swindon. Swindon was a bit of a curmudgeon, but I have a soft spot for it. My beloved desktop that needs repairs is Merlin because it is pure HD magic. However, I have yet to come up with a name for the new laptop. My thoughts were more of a mythological given the awesome paint job. Potentially Mayari? For the mythology people out there, Mayari is a Tagalog lunar goddess who was also the deity for combat, strength, beauty, and night. In my maternal family's tradition (the Visayas), her name was Bulan. I'm stuck between the two. I have more connection to the name Bulan, but Mayari is seems like a better fit for the computer. Time will tell. One thing I can definitely say is that this new computer has been a bright light in a shady month. |
| Date: 04.17.17 -- Day 35 Music: "Running On Wild" / Hot As Sun It's been so hectic. So very hectic. I've had to make the decision to drop from the 30-Day Blogging Challenge, much to my regret as all the free time I thought I was going to have had evaporated into thin air. Such is the life as Spring Quarter arrives. Idk what it is about SQ that makes things such a frenzy. It's the weird combination of hope and dread. Spring is in the air, things are blooming everywhere, and there's a potential for sun, which is a huge plus in the Pacific Northwest. But there's also this rush because the sun is finally shining. No one wants to be a classroom when there's a choice sunny day. It reminds of how my eldest brother used to listen to wave reports, in the morning, when he was surfing. If the waves were sweet, everyone knew getting him to go back to class after lunch was impossible. With such a cold winter, people are craving the sun like nobody's business. It's also graduation season. I'm not graduating, so I don't feel the push, but I have one student who is about to get his degree, so the pressure to make sure he gets to the finish line is always there in the back of my mind. He's been emotionally exhausted for the better part of the year. He's worked so hard to get where he's going, so there's so much sympathy for him. But I'm his coach. I can't let the sympathy override the objective. My job involves 50% listening, 35% scolding, and 15% relaying of facts. So the conversations switch between laying down the law and pep talks. For each student it's different. Everyone has their own unique combination they need to get them through to their goal. For him, he needs an older sister. Luckily, I can do that, so it works out. Hopefully. If it were just work and class, things might be a bit easier, but it's work and class and my judas of a body and my brain running on fumes and appointments and my mom's care and and and...It's the grind of being a disabled adult. I constantly need to catch myself from what feels like whining. I'm just so tired, you know? I feel like I'm "on" all the time. The fact that this is my busiest season doesn't help. But I've done this before. I can do this again. If only it didn't seem so damn daunting. |
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Week 1: December 31st - January 6th:
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