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Fri, Jul 4, 2025

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Are You Listening???

by Charlie ~

Rated: GC · Book · Emotional · #2181458

A journey of self-improvement - or not.

Sup? I'm Char.
You may know me from timeless classics such as

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#2030442 by Not Available.

and

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I blog for things like

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FORUM

30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS

(13+)
WDC's Longest Running Blog Competition - Hiatus
#1786069 by Fivesixer

FORUM

JAFBG

(XGC)
Because real life isn't always roses and sunshine...
#2094931 by Stik to My Own Beat

[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]
Believin' all the lies that they're tellin' ya
Buyin' all the products that they're sellin' ya
They say jump and ya say "how high?"
Ya braindead, ya got a fuckin' bullet in ya head

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

👼intuey

Jul 22, 2023 at 8:05am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Hey Char, It's been a while since I've touched base with you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The last thing people should say is everyone loses their grandparents eventually, or it will get better with time. It's the last thing you want to hear when you're hurting. Death sucks, long-lasting illness sucks! Having to decide to let the person go to keep them from suffering REALLY SUCKS! I think the only ones who can understand truly just how much are those who have had to make that decision. My heart breaks for you.

I'm not religious, but I do have a strong faith in God. I call myself spiritual because I don't agree with all the rules and regulations of religion. I do know I will see my family and friends again, and this is a great comfort. I can only imagine how much more painful the death of loved ones is without this belief. But you're right, it can't be faked. But it is a beautiful thing.

Having mental health issues during times like this makes it even harder to go through. I know what you mean about seeing things that aren't there. I'd walk into a room, and say, "Where's Star?" and she would be sitting right in front of me. When I looked, I swear I saw an empty chair. The mind is crazy. It gives new meaning to a mind of its own

Some time has passed since you wrote this. I don't know when you'll see this but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm sending good energy your way. I hope you're doing better. I look forward to hearing from you.

Aiva Raine

Mar 28, 2023 at 9:40pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'm sorry for your loss. I know they are shitty sounding words that don't even attempt to fill or fix, but they're meant in sincerity.

Having lost several people the best advice I was ever given was when life gets too hard- take it at your own pace. If a day is too much- cope with an hour at a time. If that's too much, take it ten minutes at a time. If that's too much- then you deal with one minute at a time. Work through life and grief at your pace. And don't ever feel guilty because you feel sad. And if you can- find one positive in each chunk of time- even if it's something as little as the beauty of sunlight on a leaf or the softness of your shirt. And ask for help if you need it.

Elle

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:29pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Aw, Charlie, I'm so sorry. It's a shit thing to go through whether it's sudden or not. And just because everyone goes through it, doesn't make it easier. It also doesn't take into account that you were closer to them than your parents. Nobody says 'Oh, everyone loses their parents eventually' do they? Surely not. And that's what's happened here really. I'm actually glad you've got an appointment with a professional tomorrow, because they might be able to help you with getting through that initial devastation.

When my dad lost his mother, he really struggled with his own lack of religion. As you say, there is some comfort in believing they've gone to a better place, been reunited with loved ones, that you'll see them again, and so on. For most of my life, Dad would say 'Religion is a crutch for the weak', but I definitely saw him struggle with the finality of it when he lost his mother, the person he was probably closest to.

My thoughts are with you.

1 Like

~Minja~

Mar 7, 2023 at 3:21pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Crazy stuff, grief. If you want to talk about it, message me always.

1 Like

QPdoll

Mar 7, 2023 at 6:21am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I understand what you mean about wanting to tell your grandmother something. I did the same thing after my grandmother passed. I was at home and the first thing I thought was to call grandma. I picked up the phone and realized that she wouldn't answer. It's so tough losing your grandparents, especially as close as you were. I don't have any magic words, but take care of yourself. It's what they would want.

1 Like

Robert Waltz

Mar 6, 2023 at 10:31pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

Take care of yourself during this difficult time.

1 Like

Anni Pon

Mar 6, 2023 at 9:06pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I know it doesn't help any, but I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine much worse than losing a parent or parental figure. They represent stability and safety, you grew up with them, and you've relied on them for most, if not all, of your life. You're right, the initial devastation will fade and things won't feel so fresh. But, as you know, grief never really goes away. It just becomes a permanent part of you.

It's horrible that you only got a couple days worth of bereavement! That's not even long enough for the shock to wear off enough to START grieving. I hope you have the support of someone else in your life to help you through this dark time. Take it easy on yourself in the mean time, that's all you really can do. Taking care of your physical self, eating and sleeping, is critical. Sleep deprivation and hunger will make things feel a million times worse than they actually are (which, for the record, is already pretty bad).

1 Like

Harlow Flick, Right Fielder

Mar 6, 2023 at 8:56pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

This is such a very human thing, isn't it.

“I think there is nearly an overwhelming sadness to the human predicament.” - Skinny Boy Hill

BOOM! This ain’t no whipped cream pie I’m tossing.

1 Like

Cinn

Feb 20, 2023 at 9:34pm
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I actually pretty much love this one. Nice, man...

Cinn

Feb 19, 2023 at 11:07am
In response to "Invalid Entry"

I'd say that more freedom for participants would attract more people. One obvious example that I've never understood is fiction vs poetry. If it's an activity, not a contest, why not allow people to explore whatever the theme of your activity is with whatever type of writing that want to do?

I've actually written for countless contests/activities over the years but never entered... because they inspired me, but I don't fit within the guidelines. Max rating too low, items required (book entries only over here), no poetry accepted, etc.

I know well why people restrict writers' freedom, but they're also restricting the number of participants they'll get. I still just take the inspiration where I can get it.

February 1, 2020 at 9:53am

#974665

Day 1: Don't Pay the Ferryman

Artist: Chris de Burgh
Song: Don't Pay the Ferryman
[Embed For Use By Upgraded+]

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
Day 1 - New to me

I'm so happy that Soundtrackers is back!

That's what Februarys on WDC are for.

I also really like the theme this month:

(RE-)NEW TO YOU

I want to know what songs you've either discovered or rediscovered in the past year. The songs can be new or old, as long as they're something you personally discovered (or discovered all over again after not hearing or thinking about it for ages) since the last Soundtrack of Your Life Challenge. Take us on a journey through all the music - both good and bad if you want to! - that's shaped the past 12 months of your life.

A trip through the (re)new songs that shaped my senior year of college? Don't mind if I do. I have a lot of fodder for this for a couple reasons. First, I worked with my professor from April until I graduated in December and she always insisted on listening to music when we were grading papers or writing exams. Second, I started my post-grad job and the office plays music 24/7.

I've learned a lot of new songs this year, not all of them songs I liked, but still new to me. That being said, all the songs I choose this months probably aren't going to be songs I love, but they're the songs that I think of when I think about the last year. I'll try to keep most of them as tolerable songs so that the giant playlist at the end isn't too annoying.

Also, I'll probably go vignette-style in my usual Soundtrackers tradition. It's just boring for me to write, like, "Oh this is a song my professor listened to when we were in her kitchen..." Vignettes force me to use my words to be more creative.

With that being said, Day 1...

Laura is sitting cross-legged in a zip up track jacket, blonde hair blocking her face from the sunlight filtering through the breakfast nook window. "I used to run. I actually got a track scholarship," she once told me as I was slipping on my Vans in her vaulted ceiling foyer.

When she sees me, her mouth goes from a tight straight line to the whisper of a smile curling up on the left side- but not quite. "How are you feeling?" she asks.

I can't remember what was wrong with me the last time we spoke, so I hope she'll clarify, but she doesn't.

"I feel okay."

"Good! Here, let me move my stuff." She scoots around the corner of the breakfast nook bench, back to the window now and I slide my legal pad and pen across the tempered glass tabletop.

Laura prefers to use paper and pen. "No laptops. Why do you have your laptop??" she asked the first day I showed up on her doorstep to go over the summer syllabus.

"I got you a salad. Well, Dave got you a salad..." she admits sheepishly.

"I said no food," I remind her.

"You should eat more."

This conversation is ironic because Laura is rail thin and eats some combination of berries and nuts for lunch every day after skipping breakfast.

In the center of the table sits a round, polished sandstone Amazon Echo Dot that she speaks to regularly. The Don't pay the fairy, man song is playing again. It must be one of her favorites because I hear it at least once every time I'm over.

"You know that thing's recording everything you say," I tell her.

"No she's not."

"Yes it is."

"She only listens when you say her name." Laura demonstrates now, "Alexa, what's the temperature?" Then proudly says, "See!" when it responds.

"It's listening even when you don't say its name."

"Nuh uh." She tucks her hair behind her ear and furrows her eyebrows at me.

"Okay, fine, it's not," I concede. Then amend, "except it is."

"No it is not! Try not to be a jerk today, okay? We have a long day."

"You being a jerk again, Charlie?" her husband asks from the kitchen island.

"Probably," I admit.

"Did you have your salad yet?" He knows the answer, clearly, because he opens the stainless steel refrigerator door and pulls out the monstrosity. He places it in front of me. Purple cabbage, weird seeds, and what looks like a giant dollop of mayonnaise on top stares back at me. Dave tosses me a wrapped plastic fork. "Go on, eat."

"You guys know you're not my parents, right?"

"Yep, he's in a mood today," Laura confirms to her husband.

"I'm not in a mood," I object.

Dave laughs and points at the salad in front of me. "Eat."

He makes his way back to the living room where CNBC is discussing the Dow Jones. Laura and I sit in silence then while she hums along to the song, singing a couple words every now and then, "...trouble ahead... from beyond... don't pay the ferryman."

Don't pay the ferryman,
Don't even fix a price,
Don't pay the ferryman,
Until he gets you to the other side

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