%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 20:27 One obvious answer for the title is that I don't get enough sleep. Maybe six hours, and clearly this isn't enough. But even on rare days when I've slept sufficiently, I still feel tired, so I'm thinking there's an underlying cause. I've always been a bit iron deficient so maybe that's it. I used to take supplements but I don't like taking pills. They make me gag if I don't drink enough water to throw them down. Anywho, I clocked out pretty quick last night since my son just would not settle. Sooo...I got no writing done yesterday whatsoever. I came up to my room in the attic with the intention of getting some writing done but let's see how we do... Hmm...What else can I talk about? How childish I can be? How annoying I can be? How idiotic I can be? These are all things I've noted today...well, I knew them before but I rediscovered these traits today. It's good to be a little childish, annoying and idiotic. Gives life some spice, wouldn't you agree? :D One minute short but I'm going to call it a day. I'm dried up like a prune when it comes to ideas! 20:37...took it up to ten minutes after all! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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