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 Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
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A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
| 15:23 I had some time to spare so instead of sitting around like a turd, I thought I'd do today's entry. But it's real hard. I've opted to come down to the living room and sit with the family. The TV is on, although my sister-in-law has left to get the little ones from school. She watches a lot of Pakistani dramas. So droll! I don't like Pakistani dramas because they feel too real sometimes...and that's depressing. They usually focus on girls either getting married and having to deal with vicious in-laws or struggling to get married to the men they love because the families don't approve the union. Pakistani dramas get less depressing towards the end, when the story's about to wrap up. In that regard, I guess they're a teensy bit idealistic - because regardless of how bad the girls' situations get, by the finale, things get better. In real life, I would imagine there are a lot of girls for whom things do not get better. Oh, yay! It was on YouTube so now that the video's over, there's nothing else on. Blessed silence! I got started on the Hunter Svolteria story last night, although I didn't write a whole lot. But every little helps, right? I'm still determined to get the first draft done by the 8th...although I have no idea where this confidence is coming from  This was just a thought I had while writing: since I know what's coming in the story, I thought I'd get creative and try and put foreshadowing in there. It's fun, although I don't think I'm any good at it. But these little things can be challenging and it's good to have a bit of a challenge, even if you're like me and prefer to stay deeply entrenched in your comfort zone. 15:34 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
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