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Well, not so much fun and leisure as...get some damn writing done, you fool! |
A while ago, I attended a writers' workshop and the lady who hosted it told us all to go away with this bit of advice - to write for just ten minutes a day. I was determined to go ahead with it and I did...for two days. So today I remembered that I'd resolved to do so and I whipped out my journal and wrote for fifteen minutes. I'm typing out pretty much the same thing that I wrote earlier, with some differences. I find I can go a lot more in-depth when I'm typing than when I'm writing by hand. Writing by hand is such a chore! I've struggled with loneliness a lot throughout my twenty-nine years. I struggled with it when I was the only one home with my mum when I was a teen and everybody else had other places to be. I struggled with it after marriage and when we moved into our own house for the first time. I struggled with it after my son was born and I felt torn between pursuing my writing and being a good mum, because my culture seems to indicate that a woman has absolutely no chance of living her own life - or at least, she has no chance of attaining any goals she hasn't already attained - once she has children. I feel it occasionally still, even though I get so little time to myself nowadays that any alone time is simply awesome. I've tried to come to terms with the idea that being alone isn't a bad thing - and a lot of the time, it isn't. My friends don't live nearby so I don't get to see them often, and even when I do, I feel like there isn't much depth to our conversations. I'm surrounded by people who do not think like me, who do not share any of my interests and hobbies. I feel like I've become desensitised to isolation. Loneliness is my preferred way to be. I walked into my college cafeteria at lunch today and it was the usual hubbub of activity. Youngsters walking around, chatting animatedly, shouting across the room, laughing, eating, socialising. I could recall how that clamour wouldn't have bothered me ten-twelve years ago, when I would have been one of the youngsters talking excitedly with her friends. But, as this moment, I just found an out-of-the-way little table and sat down. I watched the crowds for a while, wondering why it was only at moments like these that the sense of isolation became so strong. In the middle of a crowd, I feel most alone. |
23:33 I feel a lack of energy a lot nowadays. Maybe it's the atmosphere at my parents' house or the lack of sleep or, according to my sister, my horrendous diet. I did assure her that cereal is very nutritious, thank you very much! So what if one wants to eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? It's delicious! If I could get away with eating nothing but cereal, I would do it! Maybe throw in a bite of apple now and then. Maybe. If I remember. If I end up in heaven after I leave my worldly abode, I assure you that the food I'll be eating there will be cereal. I used to love bananas, but then I got this infection on my tongue which flared up when I ate things that were too sweet. Who likes unripe bananas? Anywho, back to cereals. My favourites are Rice Krispies. I've been curious about Nestle's Curiously Cinnamon (I think that's what it's called) so I got a box of Aldi's own brand of the stuff. It's so good! I think Rice Krispies might be in danger of getting replaced on my favourites list. My eyes are starting to shut. I was supposed to have a bath first! Now I don't want to get up! 23:44 ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |