“Right on time,” Tilly mused.
An old fashioned lime green Volkswagen drove up into an empty stall in front of them. Lisa thought it seemed a tad out of place in a town of fatties. It looked too small for the average obese citizen. However, a tall young woman did come out of it. While she looked to be about Tilly’s age, her appearance was even more bizarre, if that was possible.
She had a cute, chubby face covered in long brown hair. Her body type was pear shape, comically exaggerated. Not much fat seemed to grace her upper body, but below her chest line everything was big. A massive belly jutted out just above her hips, like a larger version of Tilly’s distended stomach. This was flanked by thick thighs, huge hips, and immense rear end. She also shared Tilly’s unique fashion sense: a yellow top was tied off just where her belly began. It was covered in ketchup and other food stains. Her wide lower torso oozed out of red hip hugging jeans. Jeans like these could only be found in the fattest town in America. Lisa had to stifle a laugh. The combination of clothes and body did make this girl look like bruised but nonetheless juicy pear. Lisa wondered how this stranger even managed to sit in her car.
She shoved a handful of French fries down her throat. Once her hands were free she crumpled the fast food bag she had eaten from in her hands. The pear girl shot Tilly a look that was both friendly and annoying. “Oh great, it’s you.”
“Howdy, Jumper. Lisa, this is Jumper, and Jumper, this is Lisa.”
Lisa gaped in amazement. “Jumper?”
Jumper sighed. “You tell her. I’ve got to stop here to pick up a pizza.”
“Jumper has a hobby that rivals mine,” Tilly explained. She walked over and opened the back door of Jumper’s Volkswagen. The back seat was littered with wrappers, take-out cartons, pizza boxes, bags, and similar trash. “Now pay attention, journalist. This could be important.”
“Hey!” Jumper yelled. She stomped over from the Pizza Hut she was about to enter. “I didn’t give you permission to touch my car!”
“Lock your doors, then.” Tilly lifted up a garbage can filled with burger wrappers. She spread them out on the lime green roof. “Call this the burger list. We have McDonalds, we have Burger King, we have Wendy’s, Hardee’s, Sonic, Jack in the Box, DQ, A&W, White Castle, Steak ‘n’ Shake, Checkers, The Original Burger Stand, In-N-Out…” She paused, and then spread out the last wrapper. “You actually went to Whataburger?”
Jumper shrugged. “I needed a change of pace.”
Lisa’s pencil had almost snapped as she frantically tried to list all the burger joints. “Have you actually eaten from all of those places today?”
“Yeah,” Jumper yawned, as if that was nothing unusual. “You know what clubbing or barhopping is, right?”
Lisa nodded.
“I do the something similar: restaurant jumping. Hence the nickname ‘Jumper.’ ”
“Why aren’t you wearing your trademark jumper, by the way?” Tilly asked.
Jumper grinned wickedly. “I’ll wear that at dinner time, when I really want to show things off. It’s not a true jumper anyways. I just wear a small sweater and a tight skirt.” She slapped her hip.
Tilly reached into the garbage can. “Oops! Almost forgot one: Big Boy.”
“You guys still have a Big Boy here?” Lisa asked.
“Yeah,” Jumper replied. “They’re trying to make a comeback.”
Lisa went back to the original subject. “So, you actually spend all your time going from one restaurant to another?”
“Pretty much,” Jumper answered. “Breakfast for me lasts from 8 am to 11am. Then I take an hour break. Lunch lasts from noon until 4, then I take another hour break. Dinner lasts from 5 until 10, unless I’m working. It’s nothing but a nonstop marathon of me eating or going somewhere to eat.”
Lisa glanced down at Jumper’s figure again. The girl’s enormous lower torso did look like the results from such massive binges.
“If you spend so much time here, why don’t you move in?” Tilly joked.
“I do live here! My house is just one block away from the southwest corner.”
Tilly returned the garbage can to Jumper’s car. She turned back to Lisa. “As you can see, Jumper here is quite the catch. It is a wonder she’s still single.”
Jumper laughed. “Yeah! Many a date has failed to keep up with me during a night on the town! Now can we flippin’ go somewhere to eat already? I’m only halfway through lunch and I’m nowhere close to feeling full yet.”
The trio walked along the sidewalk, passing fast food places in favor of casual sit-down dinning. Lisa gaped a nearby building. “Oh my gawd! You actually have a Hooter’s here?!”
“Not the place to go,” Tilly warned. “The Hooter’s girls of South Barkalow are selected for a more different taste.”
Jumper mumbled something unintelligible.
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