Chapter #14Trouble Over Girls by: Seuzz  It was just a small thing Lisa had done, but you frown over it as you pull on your old clothes. She had come to you--your replacement, technically--yesterday and asked to borrow the notes from Health class. "Can't you get them from Mansfield," you "remember" having asked in what was probably a sulky tone. She'd frowned. "He was absent, too," she'd said. It's not clear what your duplicate had thought--the mask doesn't seem to have recorded any memories of thoughts or feelings--but he'd pulled out the notes from the different period (but same teacher) and passed them on to her. Now--if not at the time--you shudder a little at the thought of Lisa and Geoff sharing "notes" on that topic.
"How about asking Lisa to join," you bluntly ask Caleb.
He glances up sharply at you. "Yarborough?" he asks.
"No, Kudrow," you snap back. "Who else would I be asking about?"
"I'm not sure that's a good idea," he says.
"How come? If James here can ask Jenny--" James looks over at you with a frown. "Well, it's not a guys-only club, now, is it?"
"I'm not sure Lisa is the right personality type," Caleb says.
"What do you mean by 'personality type'?" you ask. You feel your face redden as you stare at him. "Oh, are you saying it's not a guys-only club, it's a losers-only club?"
Caleb's mouth tightens as he looks between you and James. Behind his shoulder, Cameron begins to stir. "Don't be a dickhead, Prescott," Caleb snaps. "You think we're all 'losers'?"
"No," you reply, even though that's exactly the implication you've just hurled. "But if James can bring in the girl that he likes--" James stiffens and takes a few steps back. "Well, I thought we were bringing in friends."
Caleb opens his mouth to reply, then seems to think better of what he was going to say as you narrow your eyes and glare at him. "This isn't just about 'friends'," he says quietly but firmly. "This is about personality types."
"Okay, so how about you explain what you mean by 'personality types'."
His lips twist as though he's bitten down on something very sour. "Well, think about Lisa and Jenny. Think about what they're like. Are they really very similar?"
"They're both girls," you retort.
"I'm talking about personality!" he shouts. He looks between you and James, as though trying to figure out which one of you he needs most to not piss off, and even shoots a glance back at Cameron, who is now sitting up with a very confused expression on his face. "Jenny is, well, she's got kind of a mischievous personality. I think she'd love the chance to get inside one of these things and have some fun. She's also like us in that she's--" He hesitates, and his eyes move very fast between you and James. "Well, she's an outsider who gets in trouble with people like Chelsea and Gordon and them. She would be totally on board with taking them down and fixing things in the school. Am I wrong, James?"
Now it's James who looks like he's holding a very hot potato. "Yeah," he stammers. "I think that's fair." He doesn't look at you.
"But Lisa," Caleb says. "Well, you know what she's like." He leans back and puts a hand on his hip in a rather feminine pose and looks coolly down his nose at you. "I like Lisa. She's a great girl. But I don't think she'd be on board with what we're doing. If you even mentioned it to her, I think she'd get offended and think it's--" He abruptly stops.
"She'd think it's what?" you challenge.
"Okay, yeah, I think she'd think it's ... ethically sketchy." He looks like he feels trapped by this admission. "And the people she likes to hang around with," he adds quickly. "Like Amanda and Jessica and Eva and them. They don't have the same skin in the game that we do. They don't suffer, so they wouldn't--"
"You're saying she's a snob!" you yell at him.
"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying," he says very quietly. "That's how come she dumped you, and why she's not good enough for you, Will. Because she's a snob."
Your scalp feels like it's cracking, and you almost expect it to slide off the top of your skull.
"Jenny isn't a snob," Caleb continues. "Yumi isn't either. They're cool, and they would understand. I don't think Lisa would--"
"You think you know everyone, inside and out!" you yell, and your joints tremble. "Well, maybe you don't! If you knew me--!"
Oh, fuck it. You charge past him. He and Cameron both reach out to clutch at you, but you twist away and stomp out of the basement.
* * * * *
You're sullen and morose all during dinner, and your dad reprimands you, and you wind up locking yourself in your room, sitting on the bed with your legs tucked up under your chin. Fucking Caleb. He's worn your mask-- He wore it for a whole fucking day, that day at school when you skipped; he sent the golem (playing him) with you out to the Suffolk Wilderness while he went to school as you. He should know how important this is to you, he should have some fucking sympathy! Instead he gets on his high horse and acts like this boss who's got his plan and everyone has to do exactly what he says and--
You fall back onto the bed with a groan. Except he's probably right.
Lisa moves in quite a different social circle. She's cool and graceful--it's what makes her so sexy--and she's confident and she doesn't take any shit from anyone. And if you showed her the masks ... It's not hard to picture the scene. She'd act quietly shocked and tell you that she was very disappointed in you and that she can't believe you are actually thinking of robbing people of their lives, even for only a little while, and that you need to be smart and grown-up and realize that you're only going to be in school, in this hell hole, for only a little while longer, and you need to think about the future, like Geoff, he's thinking about the future--
You roll over so hard you fall off the bed. Fucking Mansfield. Caleb's right. If she's interested in Mansfield it really is because she's a snob. Anyone who is interested in that smug, arrogant, supercilious, cocksucking asshole wouldn't understand what it means to be the kind of guy who gets pushed around by Lester the Molester and dumped by a girl like Lisa Yarborough. You wince: No, to be told by a girl like Lisa Yarborough that she was never even going out with you in the first place.
So when Caleb calls a little after nine, you're in a much quieter mood. "I'm sorry about this afternoon," he says in a very subdued tone. "I didn't mean--"
"No, forget about it. I'm sorry. I thought about it, and I see what you mean. It just ... hurts ... is all. I don't have any connection to her, and it seemed like maybe--"
"No, I get it. I should have been clearer about what we're doing."
"What are we doing?"
"We're changing the tone of the school. We're going to get key people so we can change the tone, make it uncool for the bullies and the assholes. The Lesters and the Lynches and all them. That's another reason not bring Lisa in."
"What do you mean?" You're quieter but not necessarily calmer, and you feel yourself start to bridle again.
"Because Lisa is already a good person," he says. "She would be on board with doing that, and she's already in a place where she can help. She doesn't need to replace anyone to help out. She can contribute just by being her own good self."
Put that way, it makes sense, and you let his words mollify you.
"And you know," he continues quietly. "If you're going to be someone new, there's no reason you can't be someone who is close to her. Someone who has a chance with her."
Your cock quickens, even as you quail a little at the implication. You don't want Lisa to love you under false pretenses. You want her to love you--Will Prescott. "I don't think she'd go for Gordon Black," you murmur.
"You don't have to be Gordon," he says. "Not everyone in her circle is a good guy." Your scalp prickles again. Is he suggesting--? "Mansfield is a jerk, and he could stand to be a better guy. And he could be useful at ... spreading and reinforcing the new attitude."
You let your head fall back against the wall with a clunk. "You there?" Caleb asks.
"Yeah, I'm here. Um, I'd want to think about it--"
"Of course. Anyway, James is going to be Gordon. He's going to talk to Yumi and to Jenny. Yumi will probably be the one that gets him into Gordon. You can think about alternatives."
"I thought you had a list. I don't want to suggest anyone who doesn't fit into the plan," you say, hoping you don't sound too sarcastic.
"Yeah, but there's lots of choices. If you wanna come over we can talk about them. I have masks for you and Keith. You need to talk to him tomorrow, you know. You should pick up your old mask, so you can show it to him. You, uh, you went off without it."
* * * * *
You do go over and you do pick up two masks--the one of yourself and one blank. You do talk about possibilities.
And after you leave you look at the two masks. And you're still fighting with yourself over Lisa. Caleb vetoed her membership. But you're still not reconciled to his decision.   indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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