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Mystery: May 15, 2024 Issue [#12552]

 This week: The Trick to First Person Narrative
  Edited by: 🇺🇸 Carol St.Ann 🇺🇸
                             More Newsletters By This Editor  

Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

First person narratives are generally not immersive. In fact, most read as though the author has written a really long letter.

But some authors seem to have a magic sauce recipe to draw the reader in. How do they do it?

Word from our sponsor

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Letter from the editor

Writing a first person narrative that is immersive is not an easy task. Indeed, it takes a great amount of skill and craft. As with anything, developing that craft takes time, effort, energy, and wherewithal. Yeah, you have to want to.

Here’s a little taste of what I’ve learned.
•Bag the personal pronouns.
•Like this. (Here are super-raw first and second drafts of a new story I’m crafting. For your entertainment. Go ahead, laugh. But please don’t judge me.🙏 😂)

FIRST (15 “I” and 5 “my”)
This morning when I got up and turned on my computer, I was thrilled to see an invitation to my 50th high school reunion. I really had a good time back in high school and made some great friends and we’re all still friends today. I’m going to really enjoy an evening in their company. I remember the halls of that school like I remember my own home. My days were filled with more than book-learning. Those years were filled with life-lessons on friendship and growth. I’ll really enjoy reminiscing with everyone. I don’t reckon any of my old teachers would still be alive, but I know there will be photographs of them, and we’ll reminisce about them and the lessons we learned. It’ll be great.

It’s funny. On a whim, I drove past the old school, not that long ago, and all I could think of was how small it looked compared to the looming learning laboratory that had existed all these years in my memory.

I’ll probably get a few of my old friends and take a ride around the town and share some memories. I wonder if any of our old hangouts are still there. Maybe we can go inside and play some pinball or head over to the ice cream emporium for a sundae. I’d sure like it if some of the girls would join us. I could use a little time travel back to the days when things were so simple, and I was young, and immortal. Back before that awful night.


SECOND (A little better) (0 “I” and 1 “my”)
It’s so nice to wake up on a dreary, rainy morning to the surprise email. 50th reunion bash at the old high school! How cool is that? Catching up with everyone we’ve lost touch with and reminiscing. What a thought! Maybe even reconnecting on a more more permanent level. It’s like a dream. And it’s about to come true.

Ms. Kovac and Mr. Lully must be long gone, but there’ll be lots of photos of them. It might be a good idea to dust off the yearbook and take it along to share, just in case.

Jann’s Ice Cream Emporium would be a great place to meet up after the festivities. Oh! The memories that place holds. The vanilla scent lingers in my memory even now. It’ll be delicious to pile into a booth with the gang and slurp up the melting ice cream while the Everly Brothers, courtesy of the massive gleaming jukebox, carry us back to the days when we were young, and immortal. Before that terrible night when everything that was wonderful about Rosefield, New Jersey evaporated with one terrible misdeed.


Here’s hoping you found the differences interesting and helpful.
Until next time, keep on writing and crafting on!
One Last Thing!
Remember to nominate great mysteries and great mystery contests and mystery how-tos!
Quill Nomination Form 2024  (E)
Nominate someone for a Quill!
#2145930 by Lilli 🧿 ☕

Editor's Picks

If you’ve got a mystery in your head:

Try out your mystery chops here:
Crosstimbers Author Consortium  (E)
About the Consortium
#2309058 by Max Griffin 🏳️‍🌈

Flesh out your mystery story here:
October Novel Prep Challenge  (13+)
2023 Sign-ups are CLOSED. A month-long novel-planning challenge with prizes galore.
#1474311 by Brandiwyn🎶

A Few Good Reads:

A Most Precious Gift  (E)
A physical gift goes wrong and teaches me some of the most valuable lessons of all.
#2309821 by intuey

There's a Place for Me   (13+)
Reminiscing about my first home and allowing my emotions and memories to pour out.
#2318977 by Nixie

'Grounds' for Divorce  (E)
Enjoy the coffee, but keep the lawyer's number handy. 2009 Quill Winner!
#1577056 by Lornda

Bait and Switch  (13+)
Can they pull off the crime?
#273727 by Fictiøn Ðiva the Wørd Weava

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