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Review of Conquest  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of conquest

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I sense that this place is hallowed and is expected to be quiet and perhaps serene. However that is not the case as some people with noise have defiled it.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

so often quiet and even devout places are invaded by noise and turmoil. I like the shortness of the poem but it leaves too much unsaid.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Expand your thoughts.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing.

dblameck
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277
Review of Back in the Day  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)



Review of Back in the Day

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Your poem brought tears to my eyes.
I don't go back in time to those days but I am very sensitive about those who do. There is a great heritage that we have and are unable to pass it on in any other way than writing pieces like this.


PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Going by horse drawn sleight to spend Christmas with the grandparents. It is a four hour journey. Today we don;t go it it is more than a hour away.

The handmade gifts and wrapping make for delightful facts.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

More detail because I enjoyed this piece.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Good work. Keep writing and sharing.

dblameck
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278
278
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)



Review of A Moment of Sadness

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A poem about lost love and the ramifications of that.
I enjoyed the poem and the advancing structure the author skillfully used.

STRUCTURE:

The poem written in five verses with each verse dealing with a step in the emotions of the lost love.

The first verse deals with the Lost of the love and is drawn by the I.

The second moves a step to what has been lost.

The third verse moves to question why it happened.

The fourth puts the poem in the despair of not continuing to survive.

The final verse is a reprieve where the author realizes there is hope and the need to move on.



FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done please write more like this.
It was interesting to read and experience.

dblameck
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279
279
Review of The Freak  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of The Freak

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Great rhyming poem. The subject is quite unusual.
Of course we have to assume that this unusual person does not realize that his looks and mannerisms are so off putting. Yet the fourth verse seems to quash that idea and we see he thinks highly of himself.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Our poor unfortunately being continues to be flirty when he is being put down by even his friends.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

None.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well written good structure.

dblameck
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280
280
Review of Left Behind  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of Left Behind

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Being in the military I take this from a soldiers perspective.
the greatest fear is to left behind. Left to those who are behind to be dealt with by them. This means to be a prisoner or worse.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

I enjoyed how you made the voice smaller by making the font smaller.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing. This is an excellent piece of work.

dblameck
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281
281
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)



Review of A Quiet Dinner for Two

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I found the basis for the story to be a little confusing as to who these characters are and what is the background that might be crucial for this meeting. There is obviously some time of heirarchy between this man and woman. This story has a basis in Japanese culture.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

A woman, Onyx is invited to dine with Hitaru who is a Samurai. The conversation and interaction between them shows there might be some affection. Onyx is surprised that Hitaru does not press any sexual action because it seems she was expecting it and prepared to rebuff the man.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Continue the story because the character development is bone well.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Good work. Keep writing.

dblameck
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282
Review of I remember  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of I Remember

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A spiritual expression stating many of the accepted facts of life of Jesus Christ.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The author continues to use the expression that he or she remembers each of these things about the Lord.
there is however no other plot and Jesus the only character.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Perhaps more information could be provided in a textual manner rather than in a devotional one.



dblameck
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283
283
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of The Real Christmas Quiz

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short Christmas quiz with some challenging questions. You need to get down your bible and check out Luke and Matthew to get the facts.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

The plot is our knowledge of the christmas story. There are some important characters but they are written in history.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Create more questions.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done and Merry Christmas.

dblameck
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Review of Eternal Love  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Eternal Love

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I was trying to follow the train of thought for this poem but I was having a large amount of difficulty. I have connected with moving water and found this heightens my emotions.
But the images you used seemed disjointed to me.


SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Perhaps the absence of a rhyming scheme was also detrimental for me. The images are good particularly when you use them in comparison of your person of affection.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep up the good work.

dblameck
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285
Review of Love Love  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Love Love

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

This is definitely an expression of love; but is it poetry. even free verse poetry has some form. Most poetry is very strict on form and rhythm.


SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Poets take time to get their feeling and ideas to be crafted into patterns that are in a sense musical.
This material needs the same effort.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

A beginning. Take that love and make it into a poem.

dblameck
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286
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Review of A WRITERS CURSE  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of A Writers Curse

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

there is a lot of good material in this short article.
It needs to be read with slow deliberation and understanding.


SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Commas are needed to breakup the different phrases. There has great potential


FINAL THOUGHTS:

It needs grammatical attention to better grasp the meanings that the author is attempting to convey.

dblameck
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287
287
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of The Sound of Lonesome

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I am not an expert at poetry but I really enjoyed this poem.
It of course connects differently for each person.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Each of the five verses depicts another reason for that saddness.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

It does not particularly touch my reason for saddness but still I feel the tears running down my cheeks.

dblameck
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288
288
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Simple Treasures, Simple Pleasures

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Family has gathered together for a funeral.
They remember more joyous times when they met for family reunions.
However as the family has gotten older funerals are more common.


PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Usually after the funeral the family members claim articles of the deceased that remind them of that person. This is basically the plot of this story. How the articles are distributed express the care and love.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I liked how the story is told and the outcome of the treasures.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing. This is good stuff.

dblameck
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289
289
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of The Gleaming Knight and His Princess

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

It is obvious that these two were just not a good match in the beginning, however something happened to change all that.
I enjoyed the way that the poet moves the couple from opposition to the compassion and passion as they are wed.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:
A dark knight is gleaming as he receives his reward the worthy princess.


FINAL THOUGHTS:

Good poem. Good story. Keep writing and sharing.


dblameck
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290
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Review of Gardens of Eden  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)



Review of Gardens of Eden

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A short story that seems to be either a sci-fi story or a piece of horror fantasy. I had to read several times to get a complete image of the action. I was impressed even it required more work on my part.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:


A strange squash growing in the garden seems to be a persons hand.
The two characters argue about letting the press know about this hand or plant. The man Grigsby wants to go to the press. When he turns to leave Mica the female character uses the garden trowel to kill him.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I guess I want to read what went on before this encounter.
You need to fill in the blanks.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done. This is good stuff.
I want to read more.

dblameck
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291
291
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of YOU inspire me every day

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A great article to attempt to inspire a reader to deal with the day to day living. To take the time to think and use each moment of each day.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

There is no plot or characters,

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Extend the ideas and write more.



dblameck
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Review of Online Dating  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Online Dating

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

A quick fiction of one of those impossible scenarios; an online date. Of course the expectation is one of failure and it seems that is what is happening until the conversation takes a weird twist. I am not quite sure what the item they have a similar interest in is but it sways the date and the connection.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

two characters who are not well defined. Improvement could be done in this area. Plot is a normal online date going badly until a new element is interjected. Then the real writing begins. Well done.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

More detail over their obscure interests.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Keep writing. Good stuff.

dblameck
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293
293
Review of Dance in the rain  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)



Review of Dance in the Rain

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

To experience this article one must close thier eyes and have someone read the words of the article. It captures the experience 0f dancing in the rain.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

There are some interesting phrases; "smell of soil so pure and tasted of magic and wonder"


SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Read and enjoy.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done.

dblameck
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294
294
Review of Who is Happy ??  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)



Review of Who Is Happy

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

Wonderful little story which puts me in mind of "Aslops Tales"
Using animals to put a humanistic message across to the reading audience.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

Your four animal characters all show their wish for something different than what they already have. The progression of desire for something sets us up for the message at the end.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

No suggestions at this time.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well Done. Keep writing.

dblameck
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295
295
Review of Christmas Trivia  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)



Review of Christmas Trivia

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I enjoyed the quiz and I found that I knew most abd could guess at most of the rest.

PLOT

I guess the plot is entertainment. You succeeded in that.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

Get more people to take the quiz.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

well done.

dblameck
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296
296
Review of Grandpa  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (3.5)



Review of Grandpa

First and foremost, thank you for sharing your work . I am not an expert reviewer. I am just another writer, but I know it is the reviews that help us to perfect our craft. My opinions are just that; my opinions.

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I enjoyed this little poem and particularly the little comment at the end.

PLOT & CHARACTERS:

You made a very valid point. While grandmothers always seem to be praised there is not enough praise for grandfather who have skills in their own right.


SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I have nothing to add.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done. Keep writing.

dblameck
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297
297
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Review of At The Captain's Table

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I enjoyed this little poem. It seems like it might be a good intro for a portfolio. I like poetry that seems to have a purpose. This fits perfectly

I particularly enjoyed the line:

Find some time if you are able
to share tales of oceans and birds.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done. Keep up the good work.

dblameck


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298
Review of Web of fears  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Review Template

OVERALL IMPRESSIONS:

I enjoyed this little poem which really has a great message. I found it spoke to me in several ways.

THE GIST OF THE MESSAGE:

So many people ask how and I am doing. I respond that I am fine.
It is not true and even so i wonder if these people really want to know the tears and troubles that are invading my soul.

SUGGESTIONS/EDITS:

I would not change a thing.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

Well done. Keep up the good work.

dblameck


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299
299
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I enjoyed this poem that I selected by accident. Having served in conflicts and peace keeping employments I understand about remembrance. I also realized there is a time when we must move on.
The portion that I enjoyed most was the last five line. They are the crux of the piece.


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300
Review of Mom Jokes  
Review by dblameck (David)
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
I came across this poem by accident and have decided to review it because it is a delightful set of words that frame the halloween aspect.

It is a short and concise tabloid of that evening. The art work that you included us a great touch.

thank you for sharing this.


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