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Friday, May. 9, 2025

8:07am EDT

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Le Voyage Magnifique

by Dave

Rated: 18+ · Book · Writing · #1236257

A log of the magnificent journey across the vast sea of my imagination.

A sig awarded for winning "The Anything Goes Poetry Contest"

A log of our magnificent journey.

Previous ... 11 12 13 14 -15- 16 17 18 19 20 ... Next

Show Recent Comments

10 Most Recent Blog Comments:

Soldier_Mike

Apr 18, 2025 at 11:44pm
In response to "Military "Brat""

All four of my daughters were vets from the moment of birth. They were all born while I was on Active Duty, were born in Army hospitals, and bounced back and forth between the U.S. and West Germany with their mom and me (the eldest ones more than once).

1 Like

Dave

Sep 18, 2024 at 2:09pm
In response to "The Call"

Yes, a blending of recent newscasts inspired this one.

Kåre เลียม Enga

Sep 17, 2024 at 2:22pm
In response to "The Call"

Ouch. Too real for me today. I was homeless years ago and Montana has a high vet population struggling with personal issues. This literally could be today's headlines here.

1 Like

AnotherDreamer

Aug 26, 2024 at 3:19pm
In response to "Smorgasbord"

Thank you for reminding me. I can almost taste the salt in the air from here

1 Like

StephBee

Jun 4, 2024 at 6:51pm
In response to "Military Mom"

My comment is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

The poem is a nice tribute to a military mother.

WHAT I LIKED

I can totally relate to this poem having served in the military myself. There are often times one worries and finds things to pass the time, but their loved one is never far from their hearts.

STRUCTURE

This is a villanelle. A villanelle is a highly structured poem with 5 tercets and ends with a quatrain. There are 2 repeating rythmes and 2 repeating refrains. The poem followed the structure. I thought the repeating refrains were very respectful and reverent. There's a nice rythme and flow when spoken outloud.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to increase font and make easier to read on the website.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: With steadfast devotion, she prays to relieve the anxiety" The description draws up a visual of a mother, prayerful, with a holy book, or a passage, heart on their sleeve, looking to find peace. It's a great description and taps into somber emotion well.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The opening engages the reader. The title is a nice fit for the poem. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

[Visit the entry for more...]

StephBee

Dec 7, 2023 at 9:47pm
In response to "Thanksgiving Restoration"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM

Inspired by a quote from Henry van Dyke, the progresses from feeling, to expression to action inspired by a thanksgiving gathering.

WHAT I LIKED

I like how each stanza started with "I'm thankful for..." The repetition was as soothing as the sentiments expressed.

STRUCTURE

As per the notes, this is loosely based on a monchielle styled poem.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any punctuation mistakes. The poem is easy to read.

DESCRIPTIONS

I liked: "the smell of Grammy's turkey dressing,"

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

The poem progresses much like van Dyke's quote, from feeling to expression to action/being in the moment of a thanksgiving gathering.

[Visit the entry for more...]

Kåre เลียม Enga

Oct 30, 2023 at 1:36am
In response to "A Halloween Celebration"

Nice rhythm and alliteration! The rhymes work as well. Edit and versify and voila... you have a free-verse poem (or a prose poem) for Shadows & Light.

My dreamy brain... ghoulish? dark? My nightmares are definitely disturbing and don't always dissipate with daylight.

Needless to say, I like it.

Kåre เลียม Enga

May 19, 2023 at 9:25am
In response to "Poppies"

I do like it. The rhythm is nice. I appreciate bravery/Normandy/memory.

"because" doesn't work for me. No suggestions though.

1 Like

StephBee

Jan 5, 2023 at 5:40pm
In response to "SILENT NIGHT"

My review is based on professional editing points. It is meant to be honest, encouraging, and respectful in accordance with WDC guidelines.

THE POEM
A poem about the nature of the Christmas season.

WHAT I LIKED

I liked how the acrostic of "silent night" painted the beauty of winter.

STRUCTURE

This is an acrostic poem. It is where the first letter of the line spell out a word or a phrase.

MECHANICS

I did not spot any spelling/punctuation mistakes. Good use of WDC ML to make the poem easy to read. Good use of WDC ML.

PARTING THOUGHTS/SUGGESTIONS

I have no other suggestions. Nice word play. You can feel the weather nipping at your cheeks. Good luck in the Bard's Hall Contest.

Reviewed by StephB for the Bard's Hall

** Animated Images For Use By Premium+ Only **

Dave

Jan 3, 2023 at 8:32am
In response to "The Gravel Path"

I am glad you posted this on the forum so everyone else can enjoy it.

1 Like

April 13, 2021 at 2:12pm

#1008453

Koel

Asian koel sings a striking melody--
lovely lilt lingering
beneath the sprawling mango tree.

The song drifts down to folks below,
coo-coo-cooing, calming,
as sunset provides a vibrant glow.

Comment • View 1 comment

April 5, 2021 at 6:46pm

#1007833

Our Debt

Both West Point cadet
and crafty old vet
commit

to meet ev'ry threat
without any fret.
No quit!

We are in their debt
and shall not forget
their grit.

Notes on the Lai form of poetry ▼

Comment • View 1 comment

February 18, 2021 at 1:04pm

#1004749

Cold

cold penetrates beneath the layers of clothing
freezing, awful, gripping, winter
bulbous nose is clogged by curds of snot
running, salty, sniffling, February
licking mucus from frozen upper lip
shivering, nasty, flowing, constant
spitting out gurgling wads of phlegm
hacking, coughing, sneezing, incessant

Notes on the Mobius form of poetry ▼

Comment • View 1 comment

February 15, 2021 at 12:41pm

#1004536

Mountain Streams

Just being there among the daffodils
is better than a bottle full of pills
to remedy the worst of all my ills
and restore my faith in the field of dreams--
those dreams which take me to another place
away from commerce race with hectic pace,
just soaking up the best of Nature's grace,
while listening to songs of mountain streams.

Notes on the Ochtfochlach form of poetry ▼

Comment

February 8, 2021 at 4:58pm

#1003995

Barnyard Haiku

twilight solitude
when work is done farm exudes
barnyard ambrosia

Comment

January 29, 2021 at 4:46pm

#1003198

Come Daylight

The new year came in with a loud thud,
as we slammed the door on twenty-twenty,
which gave us nothing but a flood of crud:
riots,
wildfires,
hurricanes,
pandemic,

and then there was the party,
where I tried to drown all my sorrows.

After a while,
I felt the need to relieve myself
and stumbled toward the lavatory door,
but I was sadly mistaken,
because,
come daylight,
I awoke
in a glistening pile
of yellow snow.

18 lines

Comment

January 25, 2021 at 5:21pm

#1002831

The Glue

I joined the Navy to escape
chaos on streets of Anaheim
and found a band of kindred souls
on watch in steamy engine room
enroute to our next assignment.

That call to duty provided
the glue to bind our brotherhood.

Comment

January 6, 2021 at 7:12pm

#1001573

The Voice

I just could not get over
the way I felt so hollow,
until I walked in fields of clover.
Now, I no longer wallow.

I heard a voice from up above.
It was the Holy Spirit
proclaiming everlasting love.
So, I ask you, can't you hear it?

8 lines

Comment

December 29, 2020 at 5:18pm

#1001010

One December Night

One December night,
fluffy flakes begin to fall
and dance in moonlight
with mesmerizing allure,
but soon, that sparkling blanket
turns to slush on roads
refreezes in winter chill
to bring tons of angst.

Notes on the Oriental Octet form of poetry ▼

Comment

December 24, 2020 at 12:47pm

#1000780

The Lie

** Image ID #2238906 Unavailable **

Frau Perchta convened her clan
in spite of Health Department's ban.
One tested positive, but lied,
so they all caught the virus and died.

Notes on the Little Willie form of poetry ▼

Comment

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