A terminal for all blogs coming in or going out. A view into my life.
Started July 1st 2019 for contests, etc. as other blogs are filling up and have other purposes. |
I'm starting a new blog because
I'll be linking to
I love to be prodded (poetically). I'll be trying on new forms to see whether they fit my portliness at The Ultimate Poetry Challenge and posting them in:
|Brian-K-Compton recently wrote: "hours pass like shadows belly crawling across my lawn." Love this image and use of words.
30DBC: Write about good things that can come out of a bad situation. If you have an example from personal experience, please share!
Like the above quote there are times I am forced to slow down. Perhaps this is one of those times.
What has stopped my in the past?
1. Breaking my right arm when I was in high school was perfectly timed. I didn't plan it. Just vaulted over the side horse wrists banging against the mat. It got my out of swimming class. I still dislike going into the water and I still don't swim. And ... I'm left-handed so it didn't interfere with other pursuits.
2. Losing everything ... I rarely think about that. But ... I was in a rut and losing everything meant I had to start over again. It was tough, but a weight was lifted and I felt happier.
3. This planned trip to Spain/Morocco/Portugal (March 3rd - May 5th). Yes, I wasn't happy but if I had gone? I may be writing you from who-knows-where stuck on the wrong side of a border. The coronavirus is eating away at Spain.
4. I got my appendix removed at the same time I was closing on my house. No complications. I couldn't lift anything and I had to be super careful driving but it gave me time to stay there and plan. And for that I was grateful.
5. My car accident in '88. My beautiful Mazda totaled. Me not knowing where I was nor why. But afterwards I was able to learn Spanish in ways I couldn't before.
There are many other instances I'm sure. Not all roads are ours to travel and others lead to difficulties we learn to overcome.
Happy New Year
Naw-Rúz, the Bahá'í New Year's Day coincides with the spring equinox. It is also an ancient Persian festival celebrating the “new day”.
30DBC: Share a time when your mouth hung open in shock/awe/surprise/wonder etc. What was it that made you feel that way?
I can't quite say that's what I felt this evening. I feel calmer for some reason. That's a good way to start this new year, 177 B.E.
Prosperous Snow has an entry on the new year: "Looking Forward to Spring" and I tried to find her blog entry on the Seven Valleys, but to no avail ... It would seem pertinent to my feelings at the moment.
I've not been happy for the last couple decades. Depression is an invisible weight that some of us bear. Those who don't suffer from it can't quite grasp how debilitating it can be.
Tonight I felt a weight lift ... not sure how or why but "The Watchman" from "The Seven Valleys" seems appropriate. Sometimes the road is blocked and the answer is NO! And we don't know why until much later when it becomes clear that that particular road was not ours to travel.
Tonight I'm okay with having my travel plans unravel. It's not safe where I am, but then, it's not safe anywhere.
Nor has it been safe to care about certain people over my lifespan, but tonight? Tonight I'm fine with that too. The "loves of my life" have been there "for a reason, for a season or for a lifetime." And it's not for me to choose which. Along the way my purpose is to love, unconditionally, in whatever small way I can.
So ... I have felt shock/awe/surprise/wonder about them.
And thinking of them is a good way to start the new year.
|COVID-19. It’s affecting all of us in one way or another. Never in our lifetimes have we seen something of this magnitude and severity. So today, check in with yourself and your fellow competitors - how are you? Where is your head at? What’s worrying you? Let’s gather our WDC community around us and hunker down together.
CORVID-19 on the 19th? Coincidence? Nah... and yes, I misspelled it as corvid. I thought of 19 crows sitting in the 19 trees of Twenty Trees in Upper Derbyshire ... and yes there are 19 not 20.
I've been obsessed by this pandemic since it became widely know in Taiwan while I was visiting there. I've blogged about it a lot, posted on spacebook ... A LOT. There's not much I can add.
I responded to Charlie 🌈 I just got up ... read "make a new baby" instead of "pick up a new hobby". And there will be a batch 9-11 months from now! The Quarantinis.
"Life is over and we're in Hell." Well I probably am already! I did go to the store yesterday because they have the new sales on Wednesday. Picked up potatoes (they were out of potatoes, rice and bananas earlier this week).
No, this isn't the end of the world. 95% of those near the epicenter survived. But, for me personally, I'm edging into *high-risk*, and waiting for it to hit here is nerve-wracking. I think we have 3 cases locally.
I go out for walks. Very few people around. I'm distancing to an extent.
Yes, this lack-of-contact is bound to affect me mentally.
I might expand on this later after I read and comment on everyone else's blog. It's 10 am and I haven't had my coffee yet. Laters...
|30BDC: Does your communication style tend to be straightforward or subtle? Are you more likely to speak your mind or beat around the bush? Have you ever gotten into trouble because of your communication style?
Tact: adroitness and sensitivity in dealing with others or with difficult issues.
Blunt: honest but tactless.
I am perceived by some as being tactful, lol, but today I was blunt when I said:
As I will tell everyone, young and old alike, YELL if necessary: "I have NO tolerance for conspiracy theories. They are academic frothing at the mouth. At this point they are a dangerous distraction from dealing with a medical emergency."
Was I wrong? In my estimation no. Honest? Yes, I truly am fed up with distractions and fake news. Was it tactful? Probably not ...
Sometimes I snap.
Could I have been nicer? Sure ... but, I wasn't in the mood to pussy-foot around. This crisis is wearing on my nerves.
Each day I feel the walls closing in. In spite of efforts to make this place 'safer' I'm not convinced. People who have options ... like they can go off in their cars and camp for a month ... or stay put on their 5 acre ranchette with Amazon Prime delivery ... may not understand. I'm trapped. Heaven help all of us if any of us gets sick. It will be shades of the Diamond Princess.
But yes, it could be worse!
I'm supposed to be in Spain or Morocco or Portugal today. Spain is shut down and Morocco just closed its borders. If I had made it to Portugal? Who knows. That'll probably be in tomorrow's news.
So, I don't joke about this crisis. My mother and aunt are in their 90s. It is likely that neither will make it through the Spring. And me? I'm not 100% healthy. And this virus goes after weakness in the heart or lungs.
I'm not sure tact will get through to some people how serious this is. It's not about a lack of TP or how can I go without my favorite latte ... it's about people not caring whether they get sick and make other people sick. And I don't know how to be tactful about that when I'm so angry.
When I'm not angry I can be a quite pleasant, albeit annoying, person. I've been angry far too much this year.
And yes, in the past my mouth has gotten me in trouble. Usually when I'm angry ... but I remember times as a child that I was admonished for not being direct. I was so confused at times ...
I'm not sure I addressed the prompt. I don't do well when forced to look in the mirror. I've avoided mirrors all my life. If you want a better answer ask my friends, especially those who've seen me at both good and bad moments. They will tell you.
|If you had the opportunity to compete on a television game show, which would you pick? If you won, what would you do with your winnings?
Seriously, I can't handle the drama and find most of these shows silly at best.
The cooking contests or Project Runway interest me more and it's been years since I've watched them. What I like about them is watching the contestants mature.
I'd love to see a Writing contest where over 10 weeks we each would except a challenge and 'compete'. I wouldn't want anyone to be voted off though ... I find that cruel and unnecessary.
Which of us would rise to the challenge? Would we write anything of note? Would we mature as writers or individuals and be better for having gone through it?
Winnings? What winnings? Everyone knows that there are no 'winnings' for artists while we are alive! The estate of Emily Dickinson made money. Those who own a Van Gogh get a return from their investment. The lamented DEAD artist is fortunate to get a historical mention. Who even bothers to put flowers on their graves?
If someone did give me money for whatever reason I'd put it in the bank, maybe travel comfort class instead of cattle class. If it were a lot? Get me an accountant and then figure it out. Me and money are NOT friends; we only have a truce.
|At 8:18 in the evening I had 181 community recognitions and 818,181 gps. Since 8 is the lucky number in the Chinese culture ... I won't complain.
This blog has 178 entries and 1,618 views.
A sonnet I just edited and shared with the friend I wrote it for:
"Eight layers [sonnet]"
For My Word poetry:
"To be rebarned"
"I knew this way once "
Recent flash fictions:
And a pretty awardicon for "5 koutas" :
|What are some ways you reduce stress and create happiness in your everyday life?
A long hot bath helps.
Talking with somebody, anybody can help.
I usually feel better once a decision is made. This stay or go-to-Spain issue two weeks ago
was an exception because I felt it was a lose/lose situation. It still is.
I calm down when I can come up with plan B.
I live beneath my means.
I tune out.
Not happening. I don't 'create' happiness. I merely chose to go for a walk, open my senses up to everything around me. I delight in reading comments people leave (no, you don't have to agree with me) because it makes me feel visible. IRL, a smile or a small kindness (someone gave me an apple today) counts ... A LOT. I gave up on phone calls. As I've mentioned elsewhere I survive on crumbs.
Yes, I indulged by buying cashews earlier this week and pie on Pi Day ... but indulging does not equal happiness.
Hugs can help; I'm going to miss them this month.
|Today's prompt makes me grumpy.
We've already had a couple prompts about childhood. Give it a rest?
Horrified? Let me explain ... I don't remember much about my childhood. It's hard to be inspired by a blank. It depresses me to read about all-y'all's sanitized picture perfect Barbie Doll upbringing. I know better. Many of you were abused or worse. You've shared it. Or ... I can read between the lines.
I'd much rather talk about the present hysteria than about tearing off the scabs of old wounds.
Today's prompt: "What is your favorite childhood memory? Does anything make you feel nostalgic?"
My anti-prompt response:
1. Hiding under desks because we were told to be afraid of people we had never met about issues we didn't understand.
2. Being told I wasn't allowed to speak around family or neighbors.
3. Never being told the truth about anything that wasn't unpleasant making me always wonder why.
4. Being called names in a culture where "nigger, spic, dago, faggot" was accepted and expected.
5. Not being able to see well enough to play games.
Nostalgic? Nostalgic this ... ... Yes, I could play along like a good boy and answer the prompt. Yes, there were good memories. Yes, I've already shared a few.
But banging away at this drum only makes me angry. And being angry was NOT allowed as a child.
|30DBC: "Are you responsible with your money? Is managing your finances easy for you, or challenging? Do you ever splurge and buy something you can’t afford?"
Okay now ...
Are you responsible with your money?
No and Yes.
I wasn't and didn't save for a rainy day. Lost everything. Now I do. I live far below my means.
Is managing your finances easy for you, or challenging?
No and Yes, but...
No, because I keep it simple. My rent includes utilities. I don't have a car or cable. I pay everything by debit card or cash. But... I still stress over the unexpected. Buying a plane ticket is nerve-wracking.
Do you ever splurge and buy something you can’t afford?
Yes and No.
I did once ... bought an old house. The upkeep ... Now? I splurged and bought a can of cashews a couple days ago. All gone.
Me and money don't get along. Our relationship is complicated. Having more-than-enough at one time yet penniless as a child and when I was homeless makes this prompt a field of landmines I have to delicately cross.
|30DBC: "Other than music, what sounds do you love?"
I don't put music or the radio or anything on when I'm home. I live in an urban area with few birds. Many of the river birds don't chatter much. It's not like Kansas with the meadowlark and blackbirds or Oklahoma with a gazillion bird-songs emanating from trees and bushes and creeks where the spring-peepers should soon be voicing their opinions.
I like the sift and hush of a heavy snow.
This evening it snowed, but I stayed inside.
I do like wind chimes, wind in the corn or wheat, rain on a tin roof, distant hush of traffic, zanates cackling in the trees at sunset, drip of an icicle, rustle of autumn leaves, soft chatter in a cafe, hiss of the espresso machine. As a child I loved the whistle of a steam engine.
Anything that is harsh, close behind me, startling ... no.
The only sound I wish to hear now is the ringing of bells when Our Dear Leader acknowledges (or not) his incompetency and resigns.
It would be sweet music to my ears.
Until then ... the sound of one hand clapping may be as good as it gets.