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  My blog was filled up. I'm too lazy to clean it out. So I started a new one. |
| This isn't what you're expecting. I am not telling anyone how to meditate or how to lose weight. The latter I don't believe anyone can teach on a universal level. What works for one person will be temporary for someone else or fail miserably for another. What these have in common is that they are excellent venues for an entrepreneur to make a living. And sometimes, the two subjects are mixed. There is a big market for these. People want to lose weight desperately and spend millions each year. Obviously, it takes more than willpower. If any one method worked, all the others would be abandoned. They all carry a promise and offer hope. As for meditation, people feel stressed. They probably always have. Worrying about what others think, about providing for the family, about the government, or the oppressors, or a straying spouse. Cavemen worried about wildlife and food. Every country on earth has probably endured slavery at some point (some still do), so people feared a cruel master or being parted from family. Stress is part of the human condition. In the modern world, our stress doesn't usually involve war zones, the pox or the plague. And there are all those gurus out there like Oprah telling us we need to meditate. It will make us sleep better and be healthier. We can be more productive and happier if we reduce our stress. So they tell us. (Seems to me like some people seek out stress, but they aren't complaining of sleep deprivation and appear to be healthy.) I'm not trying to refute the need for reducing stress, or meditating or losing weight. I am pointing out that a lot of people are making a very good living selling you their guidance. If they really have the answer to your problems, why is that answer so expensive. After the first 50 people, don't you think they can just charge a one time fee of $5 for website maintenance and just give it to you? They're not altruistic. They have found a simple way to part desperate people from their money. I have finally had enough.I will not buy another diet or exercise book (I allowed myself one a year.). I will not pay $5 a month for a newsletter that repeats the same old information you've read 100 times. There are plenty of free sources that will tell you how to compute your BMI, and so forth. As for meditation western style, once you've sat through one or two sessions you have what you need to keep up a simple routine. If you want an Eastern instructor, and learn mantras and "stuff", go to a class. At least there you will be paying for the physical presence and time of your leader. The Internet route is a simple rip-off. Many people are stressed out, can't sleep well, want to be healthier, and desperately want to lose 15 pounds or more but have trouble doing it. There are many other people willing to take advantage of those people. They don't have all the answers; they might have some possibilities, but no cures. The meditation merchandising is sort of like designer handbags. There are cheaper functional versions available. But they don't affect disease or ongoing health issues. There are too many overweight people who are suffering physically and emotionally. The truth is even scientists don't know why it's such an epidemic. The psychologists, nutritionists, trainers, and doctors who genuinely care don't have any idea how to fix it. They can try, but it's sort of like your mother-in-law or neighbor trying. There is no expertise for all kinds of patients or most kinds. My advice: save your money. Experiment with diets, or new thinking; see if anything works for you, even short term. Exercise is a way of building muscle or maintaining your balance and strength; it's not a weight loss tool. You have to find your own personal journey. No one who charges you $69 or more for a 6 week program is going to lay out the perfect plan for you. As for meditation, it's about deep breathing and no interruptions. You can't draw a blank mind. Just tell yourself that it's okay when stray thoughts come along and brush them away. Save them for later. If you can't sit still, meditate while you are running or walking the dog in a secluded path. Aim for ten minutes. You can have it follow prayer or precede it. If you fall asleep meditating, that's okay. Just pushing away all the stressful thoughts for ten minutes a day, you will start to feel more serene within a few days. You can find lots of simple thoughts to keep your mind busy; just pick one per day (like I'm okay just the way I am). Or steal a line from The Karate Kid: the sky is blue, the grass is green. It may sound weird, but it will calm you. Free. |
| When I was young, we used normal balloons and fired them at summer camp or special events. My mother didn't like the idea, so we didn't do them at home. She did let us use squirt guns outside or the garden hose. Today, you can buy special balloons that are easy to fill and stronger, so you're less likely to break one before throwing it. Most brands allow you to fill 25 balloons at a time. They pop off and seal themselves when filled. You have to be careful not to fill too fast. And keep them low to the ground, so that they don't fall off and explode at your feet. Th smallest package is 100. 100 balloon scraps to pick up out of the yard! Not very ecological. Lots of waste because of the long stems connecting them. And all the little pieces you don't collect are not biodegradable, so they're not a good idea for the park or the countryside. But for kids, it's heaven. So many balloons at once! So quickly! We would have reveled in that. In a family setting, it's always fun to bomb Dad or a favorite uncle. You have to remind them constantly to be careful around the two year olds, and avoid the babies and Great Grandpa. And no jumping in puddles on the patio (head injuries). Stay on the grass, kids. Afterward, there's the towels to launder. Two or three days of raking and picking up tiny colorful pieces of rubber. But it feels good to remember the squeals and giggles and recall the smiling faces. It's not free, it's messy, and it only lasts a few minutes. But it gives everybody some good memories. |
| I guess there's always a conversation or story in my head. A voice said to me one day, "If you could only have ten foods for the next 90 days, what would it be?": I was feeling silly and immediately thought of fresh Italian bread and Nutella. Then I thought, no 90 days is too long to limit selection. As long as we're not impoverished or imprisoned, we should indulge in rotation of food choices. I narrowed the question to 30 days. You know, sort of like an ice breaker question, for a group or class. So I continued on my favorite foods that would not make me sick or get me in trouble over such a long period. So ice cream and cheese cake, etc., were out. No. 3 on my list would be cantaloupe. Then blueberries and sweet cherries. I kept thinking; what would keep me happy and sort of balanced for over 4 weeks. Broccoli, steamed. It's a little bitter raw. Extra sharp white cheddar cheese. It has fat and protein and tastes yummy. Chicken eggs. I could eat them every day if allowed. They're excellent boiled, poached, scrambled, in omelets, quiche, French toast, or frittatas. I recently learned to fry one without so much butter and still be soft and not stick to the pan. Bacon. It's very popular right now in every thing, including desserts. I would just have it as bacon. It has fat, a little protein, sodium, and the grease can be used for cooking eggs, if fried or scrambled. While it has soared in popularity, it has also become a villain in some circles and is not included on some restaurant menus any longer. I've never aimed to be politically correct. I like bacon every now and then. The last spot is a little hard to fill. Thirty days is a long time. I'd have some digestive issues if I had tuna 3 times in the same week or milk or pizza. Once in a while dry beans are great, but not as a regular menu item. Same with seeds and nuts. I love almonds, but my stomach can't handle them too frequently. No citrus for similar reasons. So the last item gets to be the most serious. Do I want to be nutritious or delicious? Do I want another fruit (yes) or a vegetable (should) or a protein? Which would get tiresome the quickest: grilled salmon, baked chicken, or a lean turkey burger? (I like ground turkey or bison as well as ground beef.) Something that starts out wonderful could become pretty awful after a week or two, even on a rotating day basis. While I lean a little towards baked chicken, I think I would probably go with butternut squash. It has fiber, and a lot of baby food uses it. Apparently, nutritionists feel it's really good for us. I do like it, especially with spices. So I suppose I would butternut squash with cinnamon and nutmeg. So what would you choose? For just 3 days, I might go a little crazier or more exotic. For six months, I'd try to be healthier. But that's my little fantasy list. In a group setting, we could argue it out and lots of choices would sound better than mine. |
| No power again this morning. That meant no coffee. Made me wish we had a gas stove; but that would mean using an old fashioned coffee pot or straining the grounds. I do have a tea strainer. Our house just came to a stand still. No vacuum, no refrigeration, no lights. Couldn't find matches to light a candle in the bathroom. No hot water. So we sat and read by the window or napped. It was too damp outside to work in the yard. Personally, I wake up too slowly to head out to do yardwork or go to the gym. I'm slow even with electricity. We are so dependent on electricity and take it for granted until it's gone. It's happening more often in my area. (I can't help but blame the construction boom on my small mountain.) Now that the electricity is back on, I'm at my desktop. The house is cool despite the sauna like air outside. It's overcast, so not that hot, but very humid. We had late coffee. I've washed dishes and a load of clothes. When the mood strikes, I will vacuum. Dad's caught up on the news and the stock market. So we're on track again. If it goes out for days on end, we're up a creek without a paddle. No way to boil water, which affects a lot of things from washing dishes to making coffee or tea. No reading after dark. No TV! No computer! A lot of food to go to waste. No AC, no fans, no heat. We do have gas heat, but the thermostat and blower are electric. I can wash a few clothes by hand, but not every thing. Most of our yard tools are gas powered or manual, but a few are electric. Some things I can do without if I have to--TV, the Internet, the dryer, the hair dryer. For short periods, the washer, radio, tools, etc. But I really want coffee and a hot shower to start the day. I need light to read and power to cook. I like heat for at least 4 months; my dad is an old man who'd want heat at least 5 1/2 months for his aching joints. We need AC for 3 months, preferably 5. Dad wants the dehumidifier 12 months a year. Those are our power priorities. I have so many expenses going on right now, I don't see a generator in the near future. We are all energy dependent, but we have to have a back up source. We might be able to live like our ancestors, but our homes aren't equipped like that. No wood stoves, no "summer houses" for sleeping in the humidity (which wouldn't be very safe in today's culture). We could stock up on tuna fish and Costco canned chicken so we wouldn't have to cook in the summer. Unless the grid went down, then the stores and the canneries couldn't function either. In that case, every subdivision would spring up gardens and house chickens fairly soon. A few hours without electricity and the mind goes somewhere else, too. |
| In most westerns, movies or TV, women have limited roles. The same can be said of many genres, just adjust the characteristics a little. In the average show, it was all about the men, good, bad, truly evil, or somewhere in between. Women were usually saloon girls, innocent young teenagers, mistreated squaws, long-suffering ranch wives, or whiny, complaining wives. They were either painted out to be bad people or weaklings. Like I said, a lot of genres do that. There were some notable exceptions. Raquel Welch always played a strong woman. Sure, they played up her sexuality to sell tickets, but she had inner strength. Barbara Stanwyck was a force to be reckoned with on the California ranch in The Big Valley. The young Anne Baxter played a tomboy in a Gregory Peck movie, where she wore a boy's shirt and jeans, and sometimes even guns and holsters; but she always looked sexy without revealing any skin or wearing heavy make-up. By the late 1960's she was playing the dim-witted, ambitious military wife to Hugh Beaumont, who apparently got typecast early on as a strong, but patient, tender, forgiving man. I'm sure I already mentioned a way back that Dale Evans was liberated. It's worth repeating. She could shoot, ride, do horse tricks, capture bad guys, and hang out with the men, while never compromising her high morals. She was more of a general performer than actor, but the image is what mattered to the public. Miz Kitty of Dodge City is another matter. On Gunsmoke, we learn that her mother died while she was young, and her father was a gambler. Probably that's why she ended up running a gambling hall and saloon. She lived with a friend, Panacea, for two years after her mother's death. She also was a gambler in New Orleans. They never said that's where Kitty came from, but sounds like it. On the radio show, she was a madam as well, but on TV that part was eliminated. Kitty usually dressed more conservatively than her girls. I only recall a low neckline once, but not too much was revealed. Usually, the dress had lace or cutouts around the top with a high neckline. The bodices were usually fitted, and she was lean, but not thin like today's female actors. She did wear a lot of make-up, but during the day, she dressed in business outfits and fit in with everyone else. I only saw her kiss a man once, and that was Claude Akins after Matt had been negligent, and she was feeling lonely. She was rich in friends on the TV show, but had little romance or love. I think of her as a strong woman because she had her own business. No man ever tried to tell her how to run it or offer her any protection or get rich quick scheme like many stories involving women managers or owners. She could use a gun and settle an argument. She wasn't easily intimidated. She was charitable, and usually helped someone in trouble. She had a good working relationship with her employees, who were loyal to her. While she had a fondness for Matt, she didn't place all her hopes and dreams on him. She was an independent woman who enjoyed the company of men, but didn't need them to survive. If you can believe she ran a clean business and no prostitution was involved, she was operating pretty well in a low life town. She did have strength of character, and no one pushed her around. Yet she was gracious, friendly, soft-hearted, and respected. I can't help but feel a little sorry for her, because she's in love with a man who just isn't capable of giving her what she needs or deserves. No way is she a second class citizen. Miz Kitty is a force to be reckoned with. |
| I found a recipe for buttermilk biscuits, while I have some buttermilk, and followed the recipe carefully. They didn't rise. I checked the dates on the baking powder and the soda, and they were fine. So I can't blame old products. (You don't use them everyday, so it's easy to lose track of age.) I was careful not to over-handle the dough to avoid making them tough. The recipe said to cut the biscuits when the dough was 1/2 inch thick. I did, and they stayed 1/2 inch thick. They tasted fine. In fact, they were yummy when warm. But my father, the expert on country cooking, didn't say thanks for the extra trouble, or nice job, but instead asked, "What happened to those biscuits?" Obviously, he didn't like them. It's not like they could be used for skeet practice like Ellie May's. I will try again with a different recipe, but I won't serve them to my dad. This recipe warned to avoid the rolling pin, because that makes the biscuits too tough.You fold it over and pat it out gently with your hands, Not having a pastry blender or food processor, I used the two knives method my mother taught me to blend the flour and butter. You do it until you get a consistency of coarse meal and then do it some more, but it stays dry, with no visible butter chunks. Then you add the buttermilk, but don't over-mix. The finished biscuit flakes up, so that you can see the folds.You can pull it apart with your fingers into thin layers resulting from your folds. The recipe calls for 5 or 6 folds, so you get about 10 to 12 layers when you play with your baked biscuit. I think they turned out well, except for the height. That I will determine eventually. Sunday I made stuffed pork chops. I watched him handle a pork tenderloin, cutting thick slices. He then sliced each one almost all the way through. I made stuffing and put some inside each one, like a taco. Mom used to put a spiced apple ring on top, but I didn't have any. Dad cored and sliced an apple. I put lemon juice over them to keep from browning before we baked them. I lined the pan with foil, and put a sheet over top. I didn't add the apple rings until I turned them over. They turn white very quickly. I put salt and pepper on both sides of the meat, figuring there would be enough herbs int he stuffing. I did place some fresh basil leaves in the pan. Basil adds a sweet aroma and flavor; I grow it on the back porch. They end up being a little too big, too much meat for most people. I cut one in half for myself and probably still had at least 3 ounces of meat. If I were doing the whole procedure myself, I probably would make thinner slices. I made a pretty good corn pudding after discovering every Southerner is supposed to be able to make one. But I'm going to work on improving it. Another goal is to tackle grits and shrimp. I can make quick and easy banana pudding, but I want to do it the Alton Brown way, so that's another goal. While it's not particularly Southern, I want to tackle a Hummingbird Cake. I've learned, however, that when experimenting, don't let my dad sample anything with which he might be a little familiar. |
| I am playing hand bells for the first time in my life. It's not a spectacular feat. The local women's prison allowed it under the old warden. The new warden just made it impossible for the musicians to work with the ladies. Those women had no musical background, and they did just fine. I do read music, but for bells, it's a little different. You can't be late for rehearsal. They can't start without you, or notes will be missing. It's not like a choir, or even a big band. Everyone has to be there. It would be like removing some piano keys. So if you're on vacation or out for a funeral or whatever, you have to find a substitute who knows at least the basic principles. It takes the whole team, not a few isolated or talented individuals. One performance, someone got off. The director stopped us, turned to the audience and said, "If we don't start over now all together, it will only get worse." It's like any organization, a club, a church, a committee, or a business. Sometimes you get out of sync. You have to stop, examine what you're doing, and all get back on the same page. For us, it was a little embarrassing, but we finished amazingly well. Considering at least one person had never read music before and still has trouble keeping count, and that three of us had never played a bell before, we're doing a pretty good job. The average audience can't tell when a chord is incomplete or your dynamics are off. I still have trouble changing methods, going from a ring to a clunk or a thumb damp, or switching from bells to chimes. Or I ring when I'm supposed to use a mallet. And when switching the bells around, you have to have it turned up properly, or you won't get any sound when you ring it. I finally figured out how to turn the clapper from soft to medium or hard yesterday. Most of us are challenged by page turns. I try to remember what comes next, so I can put down the bell I'm not using to turn a page, or turn early, but keep the count. In a group like that, no one can outshine the rest. They are all dependent on each other and must work together. And they all must follow the leader. To ignore him is disaster. We all cheer each other and spread the encouragement. Lessons from bells can be applied to life. |
| I once knew a man, a Vietnam vet, who was meticulous about everything. He claimed his sock drawer was perfect, all neatly folded and lined up to perfection. It drove his wife crazy. I have known others who could not relax with friends or in front of the TV if they noticed the vacuum marks on the rug weren't lined up evenly. They'd have to plug in the vacuum immediately and take care of it. Obviously, this is deviant behavior in my messy world. My favorite refrigerator magnet said "Only dull women have immaculate homes". I've lost the magnet, but I still live by the code. I'm dreading emptying my attic, so that new duct work can be installed. When I bring all that stuff down, I have to rearrange everything downstairs to make room for about a week. Everyone related to me is a clutter collector. I just pulled out a thin storage bin in my bedroom and found 3 magazines from 2003 and 2004. I've thumbed through them and have no idea why I saved them. Part of the magazine problem is that we once loved them for the pretty pictures, ideas, and entertainment. Now, with age, we know that those articles and ideas are duplicated all over the place. Plus almost everything you want can be found on a computer. Only the "cloud" is cluttered. Printed magazines have lost their value and appeal to our culture in general. So we question why we ever saved a holiday mag or recipe collection. As for recipes, I have shelves of cookbooks, mine and what belonged to my mother. But when I need a recipe, I look it up on the Internet. I have one plastic box of recipes I've copied from friends, printed out or cut out of magazines, or got from the store. My intentions were good at the time, but I never used them, probably never will. When I was married, my husband liked to leave tools on the kitchen counter or coffee table. He would get mad if I asked him to move them. Now I live with my father who is the same way. But add flashlights, batteries, and nail files to the assortment. The dining room doubles as his office. I have removed candles from the drawers, and coffee service and the usual dining room items to make room for his stacks of mail, office supplies, pending bills, checkbook, etc. Still mail sits on the book case in the other room, the kitchen counter. Receipts and greeting cards get displayed in the china cabinet. His snacks that he wants to keep away from the preschoolers go up with the stem ware behind the glass doors. Bottom line, it just looks messy all the time. Preparing to serve a meal for company every week becomes a nightmare, lest I misplace something and raise his ire. I'm pretty bad myself about flat surfaces, but I do clean them up occasionally. What's out of sight, like closets, drawers, or boxes are another story. Greeting cards are something abut which I've come to change my mind. Once I thought for sentimental reasons I would keep them. I even heard a motivational speaker once say to keep them in an accordion folder to review when you feel down. You remind yourself how much people care about you. But she didn't say how long to keep them. I've decided that if there is only a signature, and it's not someone famous, toss it after six months or less. If there is some personal note, keep it longer. A store bought card is pretty or cute, but as long as the card was not a financial sacrifice by the giver, t thoughtfulness wears off quickly. Does the card really have sentimental value? Or historical vale? If it's the first card ever from the person who is now your spouse of many years, keep it. What I'm saying is that you can end up with a room full of pretty cards that are finished serving their purpose. Parting with them is not an insult to the giver, nor is it a sign that you don't love the individual today. I scribble notes to myself all the time. So I'm trying to consolidate all my notebooks into one place. Just when I think I've found them all, I discover one more in the bottom of a drawer or in a box of books. Most of it is probably trash, but there may be some pearls in there. Sometimes I find something I've written, and I'm shocked at how good it sounds. Not my usual experience. And then there's the family tree. I never know where I might be when I discover something I have to write down, expecting later to transfer it. When I discover the notes later, I don't know if I copied it or discovered it somewhere else or if this is still helpful. I've got to organize that, or it will all be lost when I'm gone. There are so many things to do. When I do give in to fits of cleaning, I feel so good about it. Clean baseboards and dust-free louvered doors and vents have a way of making you feel lighter. When I pull out a dresser and wash the back of it, or the back of the refrigerator, I feel like my mom is looking down from Heaven and smiling. Funny how certain jobs just make you feel like Mom is right there with you. It feels good to make Mom happy. Maybe if I were neater and more organized on a regular basis, that feeling would wear off. |
| My dad doesn't like a lot of attention. He retired at 87, but refused to let us have a retirement party. But his 90th birthday is coming up, and it's a good excuse for the rest of us to have a party. So I have to coordinate this with two brothers. There are so many possibilities. Staying at home is not my idea of a good time, because you have to do such a good clean-up before company, cook, bake, and then there's the aftermath. I don't belong to The Elks but I know someone who does. I'm checking that out. There's always restaurants, park shelters, etc. You can't decorate a picnic shelter or a restaurant, so that takes out that element. A restaurant limits the time and space for visiting and mingling and remembering things from 50 years ago or more. I don't have any large rooms at home for mingling. I've got a good restaurant north of town with affordable meals. They have a banquet room where I could serve our own cake. But on a Saturday night, we won't be allowed to have the whole room to ourselves unless we have 60 guests. I'm predicting 30 max. Price wise it might be a little much for families with 3 children who are picky eaters. This restaurant does have a Clint Eastwood burger and a Chuck Norris burger, as well as the usual dinner entrees. I'm not ruling out the Elks Club yet, or even my church. I can fall back on this place. 90 is fairly significant. You deserve a party for making it that long. Being the backbone of my family even though he's getting feeble is worthy of celebration, too. So I have to figure out who goes on the guest list and what to do to make this memorable. Most importantly, how can we make him realize how special he's been to so many people? |
| One of the best lines I've heard on TV in a long time: "I know I've said this so many times, it's beginning to lose it's meaning. But our kids have destroyed our lives." This is said by an intelligent lower middle class mom to her history professor husband. They are all about family and raising decent well-rounded kids. Child-rearing is an all-out, time-consuming, life-altering job which they take very seriously and voluntarily The show is American Housewife. They have real life problems, and the leading lady is a slightly overweight average mom. It's all so believable. Another family show which is not such an everyday family is Speechless. This one brings attention to a special needs family, and shows how each member of the family suffers or prospers because of the one with the challenge (disability is not a cool word to use these days). But it's a slightly wacky family. It's not your normal, calm or even uneducated family. I guess a wacky family is a good way to introduce the concept of treating physically challenged young people fairly. Not all mothers of children with challenges are perky, energetic, brave, defiant, and as strong as this one. I see the kids in my family and others and don't see them reflected on TV. The extended family drilled them on the meaning of July 4. Their parents constantly remind them of please and thank you. Apologies that are meaningless abound. They're enforced anyway; maybe someday they'll be sincere. There's visiting with and sharing with cousins. There's the homework problems. One man I know tried to help his kid with math. He ended up copying the problems, taking them to work and having a coworker there show him how to do the process. Then he could help his kid catch up with his schoolwork. I remember when my baby brother was struggling in high school. I had never read A Tale of Two Cities, which he was working on. I went to the second hand book store to get my own copy. I read it and we had discussions about it. That encouraged him to keep at it, and he did well in class. When he had to do a term paper on World War II, I took him to the library and showed him how to do research, keep note cards, and do a bibliography. Somehow he didn't get that in school. He did such a good job with his own outline (different from my suggested one), that the teacher thought he had plagiarized it. I told her to give him a verbal test; he knew the material well. But things like this are never shown on family TV shows. It might give parents a good idea of what their job entails, and even pass along some learning things to kids. Every show has its own agenda, more about the working parents, or the decade, or the extended family, or to showcase a particular star. American Housewife and Speechless do the best at showing what a hard job parenting really is. It consumes a person(s). And both shows do it without making it look like the world's worst job. |
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