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  My blog was filled up. I'm too lazy to clean it out. So I started a new one. |
| This was a bestseller that went straight to TV for a 10 part series. I have watched all 7 episodes so far on AMC. I do not like the companion talk show that follows it. I think that show misses the opportunity to discuss real issues addressed in the story, like the cosmetic and clothing industries, weight loss businesses, surgeries, etc. This show is not going to stop girls from cutting, eating disorders, or spending all their money on changing what and who they are. Instead this companion show allows these minor celebrities to showcase themselves and their own humor and express liberal politics. Not all women's issues involve liberal politics. And conservatives are interested in women's issues. I watch only the show itself now. While it's very interesting, it's very hard to follow. I still don't have all the major characters straight. If I weren't so interested in a young woman who can't accept herself I wouldn't keep watching. At times it's a little too graphic and even repulsive. While the occasional nasty word may be necessary to convey the message, the vulgarity is excessive. There are several story lines going on at once which usually enhances a story. However, here it is told a little jaggedly, like someone who is excited after an emergency and can't tell the story straight and jumps around too much for you to get the bottom line. At first I thought I might like to read the book and absorb the issues slowly. But at this point, I may not want to bother. I realize the TV show may digress a lot; there are different screen writers for each episode. But if the book is like the show, it's too exhaustive in trying to cover as many issues as possible and would be like trying to follow a Russian novel where you need a list of characters to follow the action. I noticed the number of viewers each week is going down. Like me, they're probably losing interest so when other things come up, they bail. I will probably stick it out for three more episodes, simply because I've invested this much time in it. May as well see it through. It had a lot of potential. It might pick up. |
| I just read an article about foods you have to know how to cook if you're a Southerner. I guess I'm not quite making it. Some things on the list I just don't want to cook. But I'd say some things were left off. First, I don't believe I have ever tried to make buttermilk biscuits. But I'm willing to give it a try. Maybe tomorrow. I've never made shrimp and grits, although it sounds good. I've only heard of it recently, but more than once. So it must be faddish right now. In my locale, we didn't eat grits. I never had them until after college graduation. Some students from South Carolina couldn't believe I had never eaten grits, so we took care of that, just plain with butter. Then it became sort of trendy to have cheese grits at "after" parties, you know late late night breakfasts. Now chain restaurants make them a regular offering. Trendy cafes serve cheese grits casserole for Saturday brunch. I do like grits and will eat them now, with or without cheese, but no cheese "sauce". Grits by themselves did not make the must list. I can make a good jambalaya, but I was inspired by Duck Dynasty. We didn't grow up with that either. I suppose the shrimp dishes must be deep South, as in Gulf supplied shrimp areas. My area was more into crabs and oysters. For a few years now, local crabs and oysters have been banned for conservation efforts. We'll take them from other areas of the Atlantic. Oysters from the Gulf are second choice, but very suitable. After that, we want them from Washington or Oregon. San Francisco oysters are last choice. Even poor people grew up eating fried or stewed oysters for special occasions. Sweet tea makes the list. That's kind of hard to mess up. However, our doctors tell us to have it unsweetened as we get older. It may not be as refreshing or bring back memories of Grandma, but it threatens pre-diabetes less. Fried chicken is everywhere and everybody's mother made the best. So I never tried to compete. I stick with baked. I do make an excellent Brunswick stew from chickens I boil. But that wasn't on the list. Chicken and dumplings are on the list. I can make those, but hardly ever bother. Too many leftovers, lots of calories. Peach cobbler is on the list. I can do that and most kinds of cobbler. I do make skillet cornbread, on the list, but I also make spoon bread, just like Mom used to make. Corn pudding was on the list, but I have trouble finding a really good recipe for it. Mom lost hers before she died, and she struggled with different recipes for it as well. Greens, of any kind, should be on the list. Various ham dishes, stewed tomatoes, and beans cooked with fatback should be on the list. Okra was on the list. We didn't eat okra and still don't unless it's in some restaurant offering. Mom didn't like it and wouldn't cook it. It's not locally grown. That must be another deep South vegetable. Fried apples is Southern, and not so easy to make. Some varieties of apples are better than others, and it takes practice not to end up with greasy applesauce. Fried green tomatoes did make the list, and those I can do. Yum! As for desserts, they listed something with meringue and banana pudding. Not all banana puddings are created equal, but most are acceptable. Alton Brown has a recipe that may not be too Southern, but it's excellent! As for meringue, my grandmother made the best lemon meringue pies in the world. The heat just barely browns the sweet egg whites and makes the vanilla bead up on top. I would add pineapple upside down cake and homemade pecan pie (Georgia pecans). It occurs to me that Southern cooking is a regional thing. We don't fix crawdads, but some areas would specialize in them. Or Cajun fish dishes. Texan cooking would have more Mexican spices. Florida might consider good lemonade an art. I want to keep on experimenting. I will fix buttermilk biscuits. I will finally find a good corn pudding recipe. But I guess I can make anything and call it a Southern dish, since I'm a Southern girl, and my family and most of my friends are Southerners. |
| We passed the holiday with just family at my niece's farm about 30 miles south of town. It is wilderness there with winding roads, lots of flags at the end of driveways. Her driveway is between other people's homes, since her farm is not accessible to the road. She lost her husband last year, when she was 3 months pregnant. We like to gather there because the kids love the chickens and pigs and huge dog. They also have lots of room to run around not wander into the street. We older folks like the open barn. There's a hayloft that they use to store kayaks and such. There are some exterior doors to storage rooms within, but there's a big cross section with no doors. We pull up the chairs or the bales of hay and sit in the breeze. My brother, the grandfather to six of these kids, has rigged up a big fan, so we can sit in the shade and stay dry in the heat. It has a dirt floor, so he scatters straw around. There is an attached chicken coop and fenced in yard, but the chickens and roosters are free range during the day when folks are home. He's fenced in one end of the cross section for a dog corral. She gets shade, some grass outside the barn border. My niece never uses it, but he puts the dog in it when he's babysitting and has to leave. The dog tears up the toys and makes a mess in the house, which drives him crazy. She slobbers really badly. Yesterday she ran freely, inside and out at will. She can open the front door to get in. I cleaned up the outdoor trash a couple of times and pulled her out of the barrel. My dad and I took most of the food. We had to search for a watermelon with seeds, so we could have a spitting contest! At the last minute this niece ran to the closest store, which is not close at all, to buy chips, tea, and mini ice cream sandwiches for the kids. Her sister and husband brought beer and water, an extra table and small folding chairs. My second brother, who came from furthest away, brought trash bags, utensils, plates, and fruit and dip, and his own 5 year old son, the picky eater in the group. The older brother/grandfather had cut the grass and set up the barn. He has cancer and tires very easily. He lives for the kids. I brought table cloths and some decorations, so the barn looked festive. The kids wouldn't stop playing to eat. One of the two year olds went down for a very long nap. The other one wouldn't nap, but passed out before we did fireworks. They were grilled by several people throughout the afternoon and evening about the meaning of July 4. My nephew kept throwing out some names like George Washington and Thomas Jefferson. He obviously has heard the stories, but can't quite grasp it yet. For the fireworks, they pulled the folding chairs out of the barn without being prompted and set up a straight line, so that they could watch side by side. I set a wooden rocker behind them for Big Pop, who is a month away from turning 90, and unsure on the gravel and grass. His hearing is not so good, but they all interact with him. We started a little before dark, but it turned dark before we were finished. Neighbors were doing the same thing with louder booms. I started out with the six month old in my lap, but when he got fussy, his mother took him. The two year old was soon in my lap. He had started bravely, cheering with all the other kids. But the sizzle and the colors were a little unsettling for him. Thankfully, the sun faded before dark, so the heat was a little less intense. I sat before that fan and thought about people in more Southern states. How did they make it before air conditioning? And what about farm workers? A few hours weeding in the yard, and I'm done in. And that's when I felt a kinship with Southerners sweltering in the heat and humidity. No wonder ceiling fans were invented. So the fourth was kind of a lazy, hot, humid, slow day with screaming kids and lots of food. I fed watermelon rinds to the pigs and took pictures of multi-colored chickens scratching in the straw. It was a nice day with family. |
| I finally got around to reading this 1992 novel. It was a best seller in 1993 and made into a hit movie in 1995. I'm a little late to the show. I did see the movie and thought it was okay. However, the book was much more engaging. Okay, yes, I teared up a few times. I think there is something about it with which most people can connect, even if they disapprove of the forbidden love. First, on reading the book, I don't picture Streep or Eastwood. Francesca is a plain woman, slight due to genetics, hard work as a farm wife, and eating home grown, home cooked natural foods. I picture her a little shorter, sturdy from working hard not working out, small boned, and darker skin. She was first generation Italian. The guy, Robert, is tall, but maybe not Eastwood tall, and certainly smaller than Eastwood. He's a vegan, lean from not eating regularly, climbing mountains, camping out. You know, the rugged outdoors type, tanned and hardened. She was about 45, so her dark hair would have had some grays. He was about 52, and his hair was gray and long. Hippies weren't around quite yet, at least not in rural Iowa. If you don't like romances, this is not the book to read. It really isn't about bridges. It really is fiction, made to appear as a fictionalized true story. The author, Robert James Waller, involves himself in the story. He tells about getting the idea, doing the research, conducting interviews, and the usual things with which writers can identify. This lends an air of authenticity to the story. He's even a photographer himself, so he adds a lot of detail about his character who is also a photographer. People will identify with unfulfilled dreams, lost passions, too comfortable marriages, being in a rut. Even the traveling life of a world photographer gets too routine. But there's this special spark, this romance, between two lonely people who weren't looking for love. Their intensity and sensitivity to others is powerful. "I want to feel like that" is what you think after finishing the book. I want that magic in my life. I've got to see the movie again. Maybe it went over my head. Or maybe it just fell short of the book. Books usually are better than the movie, like every Nicholas Spark book that's been made into a movie. Maybe that's the case here. |
| I love seeing movies from the 30's and 40's, and even beyond. Seeing the stars in the early days is like making a big, exciting discovery. Seeing attitudes and artistic approaches to history and culture in other eras is enlightening, too. (I don't like to admit that movies from the 50's to the 80's are now of historical interest, since I was alive when they were made.) I wish AMC and TCM and other nostalgia channels had been around when I was younger. I've always had a thing for black and white, but You didn't have access to so many, or commentary on them. I believe I could have found a happier niche in life had film history been an available college major when I was young. I'd be in heaven studying directors, acting technique, theater history, editing, and so forth, and watching film without feeling like I was neglecting more important things. In my old age, I'd be an authority on something I loved. Now, since I've developed an obsession with westerns and consider it my hobby to gather info, I do know a lot of the old stars and am beginning to recognize recurring themes. Instead of just watching for the story lines and the messages that an English major would notice, I pay attention to editing, to lighting, to costuming and make-up, to authenticity of the timelines and historical settings, even the appropriateness of musical backgrounds. Yvonne De Carlo played Lily Munster, so whenever I saw her in something, I would think of the woman who played Lily, a face known in every household. Now I've seen her in a number of westerns, including Bonanza and The Virginian, I remember her name. She was an important supporting character in a John Wayne movie, McClintock, and was attractive. In one episode of The Virginian she played a comical role; although an attractive mother, it was typical of the mixed up comedy of The Munsters. In a second episode, she was a beautiful opera singer and love interest of Judge Garth, almost unrecognizable, but more like her real self. I recently saw her in a 1949 film in the leading role, The Gal Who Took The West. It was a comedy, but she was beautiful and sexy. I don't believe it was the usual cowboy era, but later on. Nonetheless, it was exciting to see her in a different type role with more subtle hair and make-up. Gunsmoke was on TV for 20 years. I believe just about every movie star or TV star working during that time period appeared at least once on Gunsmoke. I surprise myself now at how many young faces I recognize on that show, people I never knew before. You know all these faces you've seen before but you never knew their names. I know a lot of the names now. Or at the least I see a cowboy and know that he was in some famous movies. I never paid attention before. I think TCM is playing older movies than they did at first. I appreciate the commentary on innovations in each film. Like a Sci-Fi movie before Spielberg. Just a little thing, like demonstrating a simple technique to make it look like a stationary train was moving through a long tunnel. Movies tend to be more authentic than TV shows in some respects, but they can mess up, too. Like having a performance within a show that uses a song or music style that didn't really exist in the time period of the story. Or putting pointy toe high heels on saloon girls from the 1880's. Or using blue eye shadow on females prior to the 50's; these were made primarily in the 60's and 70's, proving the costumers and make-up people didn't do their homework. Another error is putting women's jewelry from the 50's or beyond on Indians, both male and female. Indian costumes were frequently made up and not researched. Study some photos from the turn of the century and you'll see the commonly made errors there. I;d like to think that today's TV shows and movies are avoiding these common oversights. The ease of surfing the Internet for historical data and National Geographic files should help quite a bit. At any rate, it makes me happy to see an old film I've never seen or haven't seen in along time. |
| I have never approved of attacking first ladies or first children, no matter what party the president led. I have switched around in party affiliation myself, but have always felt like the wives and offspring should not pay for my disapproval of the head of household. I remember when Amy Carter and young Chelsea Clinton were attacked. I was outraged that anyone could criticize or ridicule a child. The first Mrs. Bush was ridiculed for being matronly, and not wearing designer clothes. I wanted to shout at the media to MYOB. So what? How about covering something newsworthy? If they are attending some awards gala, where all the stars are showing off, okay, let the fashion people cover them. But what they wear hardly belongs on the evening news or warrants a political commentator's time. I remember being infuriated when people criticized Clinton's wife because she was intelligent and had a good education. (As a candidate running for office, she's open game, but not as first lady.) Mrs. Obama did make a few overt comments that were hard to ignore, but the rest of her life should have been free from commentary. Now with Melania, people are putting words in her mouth, assuming they understand what she's going through, or are wearing t-shirts "sympathizing" with her. She's a grown woman. She knew who she was marrying, and what was going to happen in the White House. She had a good income and fame without him. No one needs to feel sorry for her or make up any gossip about her or her marriage. Leave her alone. Leave them all alone. Leave all future first ladies alone. MYOB. If we have a woman president in the future, will the media criticize his suits, his casual wear? Will they presume he feels emasculated or neglected? Will he be subjected to constant ridicule or accused of influencing his wife too much? As for attacking the kids for being kids, that has always been wrong and will continue to be wrong. Suggesting that they be kidnapped or hurt is sick. Peter Fonda deserves some jail time for his ugly remarks about a twelve year old boy. He has only proved how depraved and distorted his mind really is. Nobody's kid deserves to be harmed or violated in order to hurt the parent. People who think that way are not normal and are not socially acceptable. Apparently he doesn't realize that what he has suggested is not only immoral and disgusting, but is illegal. Civility and decency seem to be lost in America today. Sane thinking may be on its way out. The rich and the famous can act in ways that go against the moral fiber of the average American. Something is really rotten, but not in Denmark. |
| Sometimes, our worst enemy is the one between our ears. We doubt ourselves and throw in the towel. We listen to all the messages received as a child how we'll never amount to anything. We're afraid to speak in public, afraid of being laughed at, afraid to fail. We're too skinny, too fat, too young, too old, too inexperienced. We don't come from a nice family. Not to mention the shame and the guilt we carry around with us. We don't measure up to our own expectations, much less mama's or coach's. Some of us were born as introverts. We apologize for that all our lives. The world loves extroverts, especially in high school. Some of us, especially women, but not limited to women, hate our bodies. We need to buy more creams or get Botox. We need to lose weight, build muscle, augment our chests, whittle our waists, smooth our skin, and tame our hair (or remove hair). We just aren't acceptable as we are. A few of us can't carry a tune in a bucket, or have terrible speaking voices. We make mistakes and don't forgive ourselves. We don't forgive others, walking around with big burdens on our backs. We sabotage our promotions, our relationships, our dieting, our successes, our health. We develop addictions to help us cope, addictions to chocolate, to soda, cigarettes, opioids, other drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, shopping, collecting, TV viewing, video games. We can make plenty of excuses. Maybe some of us were mistreated as children, or escaped poverty or war. But most of us picked up some kind of wounds along the way from wherever we learned, and worked, and raised our own families. Some messages were subtle. For instance, my mother would get frustrated and tell me the worst thing she could think of: "I hope someday you have a daughter just like you." I knew from the way she said it, it was not good. I always wanted to tell her that if she loved me she wouldn't want me to have a child as horrible as I was. I didn't say that out of fear of making her angrier. But the point is I was pretty horrible, and the worst curse on anyone was to experience me. She didn't mean it quite that way, but that's what I walked away with. So we go through life carrying out these unpleasant messages in our heads. I'm beginning to realize most, if not all, of us need to do a lot of forgiving. We need to forgive the ones who physically hurt us or who emotionally abused us. We need to forgive the ones who hurt us, even if they didn't mean to. We need to forgive the teachers and coaches and classmates and the bullies of long ago. we need to forgive the one who cut us off in traffic today, and the bagger who smashed our loaf of bread at the market. We need to forgive ourselves for all the times we failed, for the times we made the wrong decisions. We need to forgive ourselves for the lives we have led, for wasting time, for wasting years, for being too short or too tall, for not being "rock stars". The hope is that in forgiving, we lift all that unpleasantness and anger and shame and cast if off. The hope is that we will feel unburdened and light and free. Perhaps we can be more creative, or at the least, happier. |
| One of the joys of summer is fixing a hamburger the way you want it. I could do a buffet table just for burger toppings! First, you have to decide how you want it cooked: dripping blood, just a little pink in the middle, pink almost gray, well done, or charred. Then there's the kind of bun: onion, brioche, whole grain, seeded, or plain? Cheese or no? If so, what kind? I'm currently into Monterrey Jack. But extra sharp cheddar or white cheddar are always winners. Swiss or provolone will do. Preferably no cheese food or cheese products. What kind of condiments? Besides salt and pepper, that is. Mayonnaise, Miracle Whip, mustard of choice, ketchup, which to choose or mix. I'm fond of lemon tarragon mustard or spicy brown mustard. Dijon was top choice for a long time. I don't want it premixed with mayo; I prefer to do that myself. I've watched with interest as people swirled around several with a plastic utensil. I usually stick to just two or just one if the mood strikes. I'm not into ketchup that much. If the burger is assembly line prepared, it might be thin enough to take lettuce and tomato. My home burgers are too thick, even in the George Foreman grill, to accommodate tomatoes, lettuce, and all the other stuff. I always make them available to my guests. Onions are necessary. But will they be Vidalia, Bermuda, or red? Chopped or sliced? Then pickles. Dill, sweet, or bread and butter? Chips, long slices, or relish? Or spears on the side? If you want to go a step further, there's mushrooms. Raw or cooked. To cut down on oil, I use a little water after they start to shrink and brown. I stir them up, then cover with a lid. I throw in some whole basil leaves for flavoring. They're yummy on burgers, especially with cheese. Or have as a side dish. It's crossed my mind that I could leave out the burger and just put the toppings in a bowl and mix. Add mixed greens and eat like a salad. Or toss on a bun for a meatless burger. I have opted for ground turkey burgers or buffalo burgers, but not for company. They do have a different texture, but we like them. I haven't been able to tell the difference between ground chuck and regular ground beef in burgers. Some swear they can. But it is wonderful to have all these options! Who needs side dishes? We usually have watermelon or cantaloupe or both with our burgers and all Sunday or holiday meals all summer long. Corn is a frequent side as my dad loves it. |
| Getting older is one of the rewards of living longer. But it's not easy or simple. You move slower and remember slower just when you have a lot of errands and a lot to remember. I still have an aging parent, so I'm not just seeing changes in myself, but in him as well. He's getting more feeble. More things like sudden headaches scare him. I'm having to take over more duties, more yard work, more household chores that he's always done. I have to get involved with his bills and insurance as well as my own. I drive him almost everywhere now. I have to clean the house more because of his stiff arthritic fingers that drop everything, and his back is too stiff to bend over and pick anything up. The floors have to be swept and sometimes mopped multiple times in one day. We can't use cloth table covers, because he spills too frequently or knocks over something liquid. He grabs every door way and chair to steady himself, leaving hand prints behind. His skins bruises and cuts easily, so he sometimes bleeds and doesn't know it, then brushes against a wall, leaving stains behind. He's doing less hedge trimming, but still tinkers in the garage and works on lawn mowers, and so forth. I see a lot of older friends, some still married, others widowed, taking cruises or going on frequent vacations. I can't go anywhere because of my home responsibilities, and my dad can't travel more than an hour or two. He can't walk much if I take him to a free concert downtown. Parking is not easy, so he'd have to walk on uneven bricks, and curbs, all of which are a challenge to him. It would almost be easier if he would consent to a wheel chair on these rare occasions, but that is a threat to his dignity and he won't hear of it. At first, I was resentful of taking him to the post office and grocer store every week or on other errands, but I came to realize this was an outing for him. It involves level ground for walking, and gets him out of the house. It's my job to keep him active. I don't mind taking him to the doctor. I volunteered that early on, while he was still working, so that I could hear the doctor first hand. It also allows me input with the various doctors. h I have an older friend at church who has buried two wives. The wives did all the work, at least, until the last one really lost her faculties to Alzheimer's. He never did laundry, which you could see by the dirty dresses she wore to church. He took her to several community choirs, basketball games, and concerts. They stayed active even when she didn't always know who he was. There was no doubt he loved her, but he couldn't care for her at the end. Some ladies at church started helping by doing her laundry and going through her closet for things that didn't fit and found her a new winter coat. Eventually, she had to go to a facility for memory care and soon to a hospice. He is still active in things, but seems to be emotionally inept at most routine problems. His wives always handled things. He's brilliant. He is a retired math professor. But ordinary things are beyond him. He's in his 80;s and coping on his own, getting a lot of sympathy from his friends and church members. He seems to be healthy and intellectually astute, but so feeble in other ways. I have another friend who's 94 and she still cuts her own grass with a gas push mower. She walks regularly and paints, too. She still drives but only in the day. She doesn't travel now at all, but she traveled extensively when her husband was alive, and she was agile and healthy to enjoy it. She's already seen the world. I know a doctor my age who is retiring this month. He still loves his job, but he gets tired. He has no energy left for family or his church after working all day. It's not even like 5 or 6 years ago. He just gets too drained. He will consult only as needed, no procedures. He started the practice with a partner who was in 8th grade with me. The partner has already moved on to easier medical things. So their practice will continue without them, but with about ten other doctors. I have still more senior friends who keep on working or return to work, even older than I, to help support their children or other family members. One guy I knew said he'd have to work until the day he died. I know a number of retired men who tinker on machinery, like tillers or lawn mowers, just for a few extra dollars. Their schedule is their own. They usually do good, honest work, if you can wait until they get around to it. Aging is as different as the people facing it. But it generally involves slowing down, getting the big picture, and resting. Don't give in until you have no choice. |
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