Guided by prompts from WDC blogging challenges... and of course, life
HI! I'm Jenn - and I'm all over the place (well, at least my mind is). In this blog, I have attempted to gather my thoughts on things prompted/inspired by WDC blogging challenges from "Journalistic Intentions" , "The Soundtrack of Your Life" , "Blogging Circle of Friends " , "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" and, well, LIFE.|
|Blogging Circle of Friends - DAY 3477 - August 27, 2022
Where words leave off, music begins.” — Heinrich Heine
What kind of music helps you get by when things are stressing you out?
I tend to look toward happier, more upbeat music to de-stress me or calm me when I am stressing out. There are many songs I listen to. Here are a couple of my favorites:
(Yeah, this one does it for me every time)
Have a wonderful and blessed day everyone!
|Prompt: Birthdays happen whether we're ready or not. Some people celebrate them by having parties, traveling, shopping, or doing nothing at all. How do you celebrate or not celebrate yours?
Many years I do not celebrate my birthday at all and treat it as just another day. There were years when my girls would surprise me by baking me a cake and my husband would take them to find me a gift or two. But more often than not, my birthday would just be "just another day."
My birthday this year was different though. I decided to celebrate another year of life. I wore a plastic crown and a button that said "Birthday Girl". The day was set aside to do things I wanted to do - and I had a wonderful time. My husband and I even went to a putting competition where, to my delight and surprise, all my fellow disc golfers sang me happy birthday and I surprisingly did quite well in the competition. It might have just been my lucky day, or I might have been flowing on all the awesome birthday vibes - but I was putting much better than normal.
Maybe I'll again set aside time for me to have a "ME" day on my birthday in 2023. Life is too short not to celebrate another year of being alive, after all!
|Just when I think I'm getting a handle on things, something happens to turn everything on its head again. I'm not one for a lot of change. I like things simple, almost predictable. Complications are distractions, uncomfortable and many times anxiety provoking. The world in recent times has drained me mentally. Dissention and fighting amongst everyone, uncertain times, and this whole state in which the U.S. has mired itself have resulted in a lack of zeal about life. I fall asleep early and prefer it if I could just hibernate until things settle down a bit. Hey, I'm an adult. I know I can't do that. I have a job to work at, bills to pay, responsibilities to meet. So I wake up, go to work, come home, and go back to sleep. In my dreams, I'm not bombarded by the insanity. But waking life has still become too much to handle.
Maybe it's because I'm an empath. Everyone else's emotions affect me directly and there's just too much negativity going around and not nearly enough of the positive and I can't seem to distance myself and my emotions from the influence of other people's lives and drama, try as I might. If only there was a way to put me in a stupor, to decrease my awareness to the point of being oblivious... But wait! There is! It just doesn't help when life's curve balls hit me all at once.
Physically and medically, I'm doing great (as far as I know). All the doctors' tests have come back looking good. So here I am. I'm finally fully able to enjoy life again and additional circumstances work to keep me down. My daughter lives in a dope house and refuses family visits to see the new baby - but she sends loads of pictures. We are stressed about the immigration issues in the US (my husband is Canadian but has permanent residency in the US) and what it means to us. My grandma's health has taken a downturn. And as the icing on the recent shit cake that I call my life, my favorite aunt (everyone has a favorite right?) was just diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and given less than a year to live.
It's hard to celebrate to good things when the bad seems to overwhelm. Maybe I'm just being a Negative Nellie, I'm too close to the situation to tell.
So, I pray. And I work, and I pray. Work keeps my mind occupied for a while each day. The constant stream of people coming in and out of the store keeps my mind focused on things other than my personal issues. I'll probably work myself into my own early grave, but then, life will be someone else's problem.
|Today begins a week of celebration for myself and my husband. It's Canada Day and my husband is Canadian. We begin celebrating today and continue to celebrate through the Fourth of July and after. The Fourth isn't just Independence Day for us. It's also our anniversary. This year marks 22 years of ups, downs, and everything in between - 22 years of being there for one another through thick and thin, and through bouts of mental instability and long times of health issues. I couldn't even imagine being married to someone else. His sese of humor and kindness has seen me through some of my worst times. He's my best friend, and my confidante. He's my Canadian Dream Boat, my knight in muddy Dickies (he owns & operates an irrigation business). So to begin our celebration, Happy Canada Day to everyone out there.
|It's a typical Texas summer day. The overwhelming heat has wilted the leaves on the lantana and scorched the bare earth. The sand burns the bottoms of my bare feet as I walk outside to check on my flowers and trees. The heat presses down on me, even in the shade. I pant for lack of air cool enough to breathe and my arms glisten with the formation of sweat after only a few minutes outside. My dog is at my side, faithful as ever, even though the thickness of his fur is surely making things even harder on him. There are no birds or little mammals out right now. They're probably hiding in their burrows or in the deep shade of the woods to escape at least some of this heat wave. I read the thermometer after I woke this morning; at 8 a.m. it was already almost 95 degrees Fahrenheit. I must be getting old because I remember days like this in my youth, days where this inescapable heat didn't affect me the way it does now. Memories of a young me popping the tar that bubbled up from the road in front of my childhood home with my bare toes. I know I couldn't do that now. The heat is too much for me. It steals my breath and energy, and it presses down on me like an invisible wet blanket. I should be in the house, basking in the cool air of the A/C. Instead, I am outside making sure this horrendous heat isn't sapping the life from the plants I so lovingly planted and care for. And the dog remains beside me, too overheated for his usual antics. I should probably hurry up out here and get back inside. Back to the coolness of the house and a soft place for the dog to rest. The forecast is for triple digit heat today after all. And it's not even July yet. It's going to be one Hell of a summer.
|I hate Tuesdays. They're worse than Mondays for me. By Tuesday, my entire body is throbbing in pain, deep and overwhelming. Along with the pain comes the itching, discomfort, and annoyance of being bothered. Every little thing can set me off and usually does. Tuesdays are the days that I wish Wednesdays would hurry up and get here, along with all of the sickness and wonkiness that my Wednesday medication dosage brings. Wednesday is the day I take my Methotrexate. The dosage is supposed to last the entire week, but by Monday I start to see feel the symptoms again and by Tuesday those symptoms are almost too much to bear. The pain gets so bad that it makes me nauseous, weak, and dizzy more often than not. Thank my immune system for that, for all of it. It makes some days almost impossible to get through. Take today for an example. I am in so much pain that I would love to cry. I'd love to curl up in a ball and let the world pass me by until tomorrow gets here. But I can't do either. And curling up in a ball would hurt, just like anything toughing my skin hurts. But I have to work today, and tears don't come too readily anymore.
You ever wonder what it would be like to not be able to cry? It ain't fun, I'll tell you that. Sometimes, a person needs to cry. Of the many autoimmune diseases I have, Sjorgren's syndrome is one of them. Sjogren's attacks the salivary and tear glands, leaving mouth and eyes dry. I used to get those effects from smoking weed. Now I have them all the time, no weed needed. The Lupus SLE is the culprit behind all the pain, and itching, and the lovely red spots all over my face (and quite a few other things too). Living with it is hard, but at least I'm still alive. These symptoms are all small prices to pay for the privilege of being alive. But that doesn't mean it doesn't bother me, and it doesn't mean I'm not driven to complain from time to time. On Tuesdays like today, there's nothing I can do but wait for tomorrow and the promise of a few days without pain that Wednesday's medication brings. Good thing I don't have to do it alone. On days like today, the Lord carries me through the day so I can see tomorrow.
Until next time. Thanks for reading.
|"Update Your Blog," an email tells me every morning when I log on. But aside from being hellaciously busy at work, nothing has really been going on. What would I blog about? New managers to replace the old and everyone that quit? That's all normal life stuff. It happens to everyone at some point in time. The only part that might be different is that I am the only one from the old crew who still remains. I didn't owe my allegiance to the old manager. Yeah, I went there to work because they seriously needed help, but the store still needs help and they're paying me well enough for my time and effort. And the new store manager is a pretty nice young woman, maybe they should have given her a chance. But that's what's been engulfing most of my time - and keeping me away from writing.
I do still set back some time each day to spend with my husband. There are many days we will go to the disc golf course and play a round of golf before the sun sets or take the dog to the park for a little romp. The together time has been good for us.
In other news, I got my order in the mail yesterday. A new golf disc and a new pair of socks. Before you laugh, let me explain. They're specialty socks for disc golf. They even have a disc golf basket printed on the side of them - and because they are for me, they have crazy patterns and colors on them. I ordered a new computer too, but somehow it has been delayed mid-shipment. At least, that's what the UPS tracker for it says. Looking forward to getting that baby in, that's for sure!
But that's all that has been going on. Not really blog-worthy, but it is what it is. See you all on the flip side.
|Prompt: Environmental - In Las Vegas summer usually means triple digit temperatures and excessive heat warnings. How do you deal with excessive heat? If you live someplace where you get excessive cold, how do you deal with that?
One of the things you should know about Texas is that we have seen excessive temperatures on both sides of the temperature scale. Granted, where I live experiences many more excessively hot days than cold. Triple digits in the summer are commonplace. How does one deal with it? When I was young, my mom kept only the screen doors shut during the days and the windows were open all day and night. Most of our days were spent outside in the sprinklers or at the lake or the pool. Anything that would help keep us cool. When it would get really hot, my parents would finally close the doors and windows and turn on the air conditioner for a while.
Nowadays, it's all about the air conditioner in the summer - and often in the spring as well, as we experience temperatures in the mid 90's in April and May from time to time (like right now). If there is a blackout or the air conditioner breaks, I think I'll be finding my way to a lake or something again, I suppose. Shade can only do so much when the thermometers rise to heights such as we commonly see here in the summers.
I'm not much for the heat. Or the cold, honestly. But, the way I see it, if it's cold, you can keep putting on layers to help you stay warm, whereas in the heat you can only take off so much before it either becomes indecent or you run out of clothing to remove.
| I saw on the news yesterday evening about the elementary school in Uvalde Texas where kids and teachers were killed. While I do not currently live close to Uvalde, my family's homestead is less than an hour away from the town. The people there are amazingly kind people. But for anyone to have to experience such horror as these senseless killings hurts my heart.
I saw and heard the president go in front of the camera and use the shootings as a way to push his anti-gun laws. How does that show he cares about his people? To me it just appears that he was simply using this "convenient" circumstance to further his agenda. And what would federal emergency funds do to help those in that community? It won't bring their loved ones back.
Now I see news outlets looking at the school, almost blaming the school for the fact that it happened. It wasn't the school's fault. It wasn't the gun's fault either. The gun is an inanimate object, it doesn't think or do anything on its own. In fact, it takes a person to pull the trigger.
The 18 year old did it. Now they need to be looking into why he did it. How he got enough money to buy two guns and a load of ammo - that stuff ain't cheap you know. Why he shot his grandmother. Was the kid mentally unstable, or was there something else going on? In situations like this, isn't it better to look at all the potential factors involved and how those factors could be eliminated to keep future like occurrences from happening? Who's to say why the kid did what he did? We'll likely never know for sure - and if we did, would it really help keep it from happening again?
Those families are crushed from their losses. It is unthinkable. Pray for those people if you pray. If you don't pray, send them your most positive vibes and thoughts. Lord knows they all need it at this time.
|Recently, I haven't been writing as much as I'd like. My little "side job" has turned into a full-time affair. The words are still whizzing around in my head, but I lose them before I have time to write them down. In the mornings, I usually only have time to check out QOTD and EIGHT while I am drinking my morning cup of coffee. By the time I get home, I am so exhausted that I usually just check what's happening on WDC before I pass out. I tried to write some yesterday, but only got through two lines before my eyelids began to close. Ugh! So today I am attempting a different tactic. I woke early and am trying to write before I go to work. The poem I began working on yesterday is still insistent in my mind and wants to be written, so write it I must.
** Warning! Rant Coming***
The job has gone crazy. We just lost the store manager, assistant manager, one of the shift managers, and one of our cashiers. The store manager left, and the rest followed. I don't really have a problem with people quitting their jobs, but to do so without notice puts more demand on the people who are left to clean up what's been left behind. To not show up or at least call in to let someone know you won't be showing up for the shift you are responsible for shows very poor work ethic, a lack of responsibility. I don't know how they could get hired elsewhere after pulling stunts like this, but somehow, they always seem to. Perhaps I am incredulous because I am from a different time, a time when work ethic was an important quality to possess. A fossil from a different era, back when people were less self absorbed and more considerate of others.
Maybe I don't belong in the workforce with all these youngsters who think they don't actually have to work while they are at their jobs. These people are the reason I am working so much that I barely have time for myself - let alone time for household chores, my husband, writing, or any hobby I might like to do. Am I disgruntled by the situation? You better believe it. But I'm not going to quit and leave the few who remain to struggle even more, that's not who I am.
I think it hurts worst of all that a couple of them (the older ones) I was close to considering as friends but they still had no regard for what their actions would do to me or anyone else. I was forced work to close the other day after I had opened the store that morning. Yeah I will get some overtime, but my body has to rest, and get food, and I have to use the restroom at some point. Fifteen hours is a long time for anyone to be on their feet, especially someone still not completely healthy. My husband is worried that all the newly added stress and work is going to start making me sick again. Probably will. But am I just going to set aside my responsibilities and ethics and just quit? Not even likely. I suppose that's the difference between me and those others. Whatever the case, it seems responsibility and consideration for others has gone out the window in many of the younger generations.
I'm glad I instilled good work ethic in one of my girls at least. The oldest, well, like the rest of the people her age, she wants to do the very least and EXPECTS to get paid like she actually worked for it - or even worse, to get hand-outs while she does nothing.
These kids don't listen when we say that's not how the world works. You gotta earn what you get - from money to respect - you gotta earn that stuff! It's not an entitlement, you have to work for it.
But if somehow we have entered a time when that is how the world is starting to work, I don't want any part of it.
Okay rant over. How do you feel about it? Let me know in the comments below.