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One man's journey to find the way home |
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I am an American Baptist ordained minister. I began my life journey in Massachusetts, where I was called to help people understand what it meant to know a loving God. The call came during a time when I was wrestling with how to help my brother Kurt, who was diagnosed with Schizophrenia during my high school years. I was a new Christian by my senior year following trying to understand what it meant for me to care about a person like my brother who others tended to stay away from. After twenty three years in Massachusetts, God sent me to the land of Kansas City where I spent about 35 years of my life. I was a pastor, a resident chaplain, a supervisor in training and most recently a caregiver and security. Everything I have done vocationally has been with God in mind. That does not mean that I am totally comfortable with all the movings of the Spirit. I am now in Erie where I do not know very many people. I came here because of my wife. She is from Erie and coming here was the right thing to do. It just plain made sense. My kids had grown up. I did not like Kansas city in terms of climate and was looking forward to a change. I had become very frustrated vocationally and longed to come to Erie to get a second opinion, because I honestly believed that was what God had wanted for me. I left behind kids and grandkids who I loved!!!! I had two jobs that I enjoyed. They were both very appreciative of my skills and I was making more money with the two jobs than I ever had. I heard more than once. ARE YOU CRAZY? Well I can only say that I am in love with God's leading. I am starting all over again. It has not been easy. Maybe some of you can offer me some words of support. I am lonely despite the fact my wife is with me. She battles depression and has two siblings that are having similar battles. When it is all said I am in a depressed community with a depressed wife and her family. So I begin the conversation.... WELCOME!! |
| I am still hopeful of getting myself some time to write on an intentional level. I hurt my side so I will need to slow down with my thirteen plus mile walking. I hope and pray I can be patient. I will be faced with renewal in September of this year. It is a short time away relatively speaking. I still would like to do a genealogy. There is time. I need to find the time to further myself mentally, physically and spiritually. Time will tell. |
| I still am sleepwalking my way to a resolution. It is stressful. I still write less than I want like a slave to my own literacy or lack there of. It is a matter of time before I see what tomorrow has to bring. |
| We will see where my hope to write comes from. I trust God will see me thru. It has been a stressful day. I pray and hope tomorrow can be a better day. I want to write. I guess I need to dig deep within myself to see what comes out and accept it knowing others care about me and what I stand for. |
| A catastrophic happening is a cat in a tight rope between life and death. Why bother even trying to cross from one pole to the other. Just fall off. Yet I keep going forward clinging on to life maybe because someone cares. Maybe I care. I want to see for myself what and who is worth the risk. Who is worth dying for? |
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