One man's journey to find the way home
I am an American Baptist ordained minister. I began my life journey in Massachusetts, where I was called to help people understand what it meant to know a loving God. The call came during a time when I was wrestling with how to help my brother Kurt, who was diagnosed with Schizophrenia during my high school years. I was a new Christian by my senior year following trying to understand what it meant for me to care about a person like my brother who others tended to stay away from. |
After twenty three years in Massachusetts, God sent me to the land of Kansas City where I spent about 35 years of my life. I was a pastor, a resident chaplain, a supervisor in training and most recently a caregiver and security. Everything I have done vocationally has been with God in mind. That does not mean that I am totally comfortable with all the movings of the Spirit.
I am now in Erie where I do not know very many people. I came here because of my wife. She is from Erie and coming here was the right thing to do. It just plain made sense. My kids had grown up. I did not like Kansas city in terms of climate and was looking forward to a change. I had become very frustrated vocationally and longed to come to Erie to get a second opinion, because I honestly believed that was what God had wanted for me. I left behind kids and grandkids who I loved!!!! I had two jobs that I enjoyed. They were both very appreciative of my skills and I was making more money with the two jobs than I ever had. I heard more than once. ARE YOU CRAZY?
Well I can only say that I am in love with God's leading. I am starting all over again. It has not been easy. Maybe some of you can offer me some words of support. I am lonely despite the fact my wife is with me. She battles depression and has two siblings that are having similar battles. When it is all said I am in a depressed community with a depressed wife and her family. So I begin the conversation....
|As I looked back I realized how proud I am to have made it to over a year and one half past retirement. It gives me hope. I still do not know how we survive financially. Maybe it will be by the skin of our teeth.
Life goes on. A trip is in the mix real soon. I still hope Sharon can go. I am five days from walking to the car with Sharon to Massachusetts and that includes a day off Friday. God willing I will be ready. It seems like yesterday I made my trip to Erie. God give me strength to stay on the right path.
|I am waiting on a miracle, whatever that looks like. I have a week to get it together. I am headed to Massachusetts, my goal. I would like to take Sharon. Life is difficult. I will attempt two overnights, maybe only getting one. God give me strength, looking in this moment as a victory as I ask in prayer for God's help.
|So now what? I keep wondering about my next challenge. I sit here poised to uncover who I am in the context of a world that claims it is the only truth worth wondering about. That makes me sad for above all I see myself as a seeker. I am not there yet. I pray that God leads me in ways that allow others to find truth for themselves without a need to impose that truth on others as if they know and I never will.
|Looking forward to solving a puzzle. There is a reason I am here. I have a job and a purpose. I look for God in the person's I work with. I see Lee as the door, Bobby as the heart, JB as the soul that speaks truth, Jim maintenance, a will yet to learn and Chris a joy that hides. Now in the midst I am faced with a mirror that looks at me.