One man's journey to find the way home
I am an American Baptist ordained minister. I began my life journey in Massachusetts, where I was called to help people understand what it meant to know a loving God. The call came during a time when I was wrestling with how to help my brother Kurt, who was diagnosed with Schizophrenia during my high school years. I was a new Christian by my senior year following trying to understand what it meant for me to care about a person like my brother who others tended to stay away from. |
After twenty three years in Massachusetts, God sent me to the land of Kansas City where I spent about 35 years of my life. I was a pastor, a resident chaplain, a supervisor in training and most recently a caregiver and security. Everything I have done vocationally has been with God in mind. That does not mean that I am totally comfortable with all the movings of the Spirit.
I am now in Erie where I do not know very many people. I came here because of my wife. She is from Erie and coming here was the right thing to do. It just plain made sense. My kids had grown up. I did not like Kansas city in terms of climate and was looking forward to a change. I had become very frustrated vocationally and longed to come to Erie to get a second opinion, because I honestly believed that was what God had wanted for me. I left behind kids and grandkids who I loved!!!! I had two jobs that I enjoyed. They were both very appreciative of my skills and I was making more money with the two jobs than I ever had. I heard more than once. ARE YOU CRAZY?
Well I can only say that I am in love with God's leading. I am starting all over again. It has not been easy. Maybe some of you can offer me some words of support. I am lonely despite the fact my wife is with me. She battles depression and has two siblings that are having similar battles. When it is all said I am in a depressed community with a depressed wife and her family. So I begin the conversation....
|Quite tired. The main goal will be to get to work. I may be asking too much of my body and mind. Part of what is frustrating is to work so much to get so little. I will work more and get 1500 dollars. I am not sure I can justify it, especially on a Sunday where rest in order. God give me strength.
|What does a day off mean if you are working a double. I feel worn about 35 hours later. I still have at least one more day to round out the week. Yesterday was about volunteering to work only to find out that I was volunteering to wake people up and hang out 1 hour and fifteen minutes late. I will survive the month. I am just tired. I am not getting any younger.
|My body labors. How much more pain can I take? Yet it is healing slowly. I am remembering times of strength. I pray God can use me for as long as it takes. I am weary. God lift me up to trust the power of resurrection, the power of God in weakness. God's grace is sufficient when we are weak.
|I lost more than won yesterday, probably two thirds of the games. I did better toward the end and won one service game. My serve was hit or miss. I made some great shots. I did not get a good long in and yet it was close. I did not try any dink serves. I only tried one bender. It went in and yet we list the point. I have a lot to learn. Do I want to play again. My body aches will decide.