One man's journey to find the way home
I am an American Baptist ordained minister. I began my life journey in Massachusetts, where I was called to help people understand what it meant to know a loving God. The call came during a time when I was wrestling with how to help my brother Kurt, who was diagnosed with Schizophrenia during my high school years. I was a new Christian by my senior year following trying to understand what it meant for me to care about a person like my brother who others tended to stay away from. |
After twenty three years in Massachusetts, God sent me to the land of Kansas City where I spent about 35 years of my life. I was a pastor, a resident chaplain, a supervisor in training and most recently a caregiver and security. Everything I have done vocationally has been with God in mind. That does not mean that I am totally comfortable with all the movings of the Spirit.
I am now in Erie where I do not know very many people. I came here because of my wife. She is from Erie and coming here was the right thing to do. It just plain made sense. My kids had grown up. I did not like Kansas city in terms of climate and was looking forward to a change. I had become very frustrated vocationally and longed to come to Erie to get a second opinion, because I honestly believed that was what God had wanted for me. I left behind kids and grandkids who I loved!!!! I had two jobs that I enjoyed. They were both very appreciative of my skills and I was making more money with the two jobs than I ever had. I heard more than once. ARE YOU CRAZY?
Well I can only say that I am in love with God's leading. I am starting all over again. It has not been easy. Maybe some of you can offer me some words of support. I am lonely despite the fact my wife is with me. She battles depression and has two siblings that are having similar battles. When it is all said I am in a depressed community with a depressed wife and her family. So I begin the conversation....
|Here I go again. It is a few hours of overtime. I am getting impatient with myself. I need to get ready for my next shift at three. I had three hours of sleep and will try to get three or four more God willing. What is it all about God? Help me to see the light. I am almost to fifty that I have never seen. Grant me wisdom to share your resource freely and in love.
|Be with me God. I get thru another day. I am annoyed. I have trouble understanding how I still work. God must be with me. All the hours at ministry in a treadmill of dysfunction. The system calling me to cut off and sacrifice self expecting little or nothing in return.
Here I am at the moment an identified patient deciding to use the system to profit rather letting myself be the reason others profit and I make little or nothing in the name of survival, so that others might know each breath taken is worth it because for a moment in eternity I am here.
The valuation is at hand. How is God seen by the little or much that I do in the name of the only one mattering, Jesus Christ
| It is supposed to start today. I will believe it when I see it
God be with me. Helpe to be patient. I like the words social security. It must be governments way to keep me social. Some get a lot more to be social than others. I may not be as secure, at least I am not insecure, for lack of not being able to get rich with it