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Random thoughts, inconsistent posting |
 My meandering thoughts |
| What a change this Christmas. My father is failing fast and I mean on the slippery slope to bedridden. They came to town for a wedding and did not leave. They are now ensconced in my living room (their bedroom) but due to the fact I have only a powder room on the main floor and Dad is too weak to climb on or two steps we have had to find them an apt. Sat we drove 2 hours to their house and packed what they needed for the immediate move and back. They move in Jan 1. I see weeks maybe a few months ahead and we will no longer have him. Sad to see him in this condition and I wish God would take him quietly in his sleep. How can I be sad at his passing when I know he will be free to run, jump on streets of gold. Meet his parents and daughter who have gone on before. It is with a conflicted heart I wait for the boat that will come to take him across "Jordan" to his reward. I will not be sad each Christmas that comes, only a contentment his is waiting for me(and my Mom) to get there. I posted this in response to the spiritual newsletter. Sat my sister, I and others drove the 2 hours to the folks home and moved them in town. Jan 1 we will move them to a home where they can be better able to manouver in a wheel chair and walker. Dad will have a place to shower. He isn't walking much today as he was yesterday. His legs are too weak. I write this because I need to say it out loud. he isn't doing well and I have no idea what each day holds for him or us. |
| What a weekend! After last week practices for two nights and preparing for my parents to come and stay through the holidays it was busy. Last week my parents arrived from MN and visiting my sister for over 2 months. They stayed with my daughter in St. Paul for the day until their train left for Portland, OR. She posted a picture of the the two and I got an immediate call from my younger sister who said Dad looked bad. I checked out the picture and indeed he didn't look good at all. I put some of it down to the lighting and they were tired. When my younger sister picked them up at the train station two days later and dropped them off to get their car and drive the 2 hours to their home, she called me. "Dad looks terrible, he has to use a cane and he can't pick up anything he's so weak." Okay, I was a little concerned. After they arrived home, my sister called them and made Mom get the last doctor's report from Dad's last visit. There on the back was the note: Stage 1 Liver Disease. I remember vaguely Mom said something about Dad's liver but she didn't seem over concerned and they were just leaving for MN. My niece was getting married on 12/22 and Dad was the officiate so they came to stay at my house for the two weeks of the Christmas Holiday. Mom drove the two hours to Portland. We cleaned out the front room of boxes I hadn't unpacked, didn't know what to do with and put them in the garage with all the other boxes with the same intentions. I called my sister and she and the girls brought over the hospital type beds (two twins put together) and we set them up in the room. Rolled out the rug, put some chairs, a little round table in the corner and a lamp on the table for them. Mom was quite pleased. Dad seems resigned and quiet. My Dad has a Dr. appointment on Thursday after Christmas and my sister is going with them. From what I've learned, he may have only a few weeks left maybe a little longer. Now that being said it seems awful. Many who read my prayer request have come and asked what was wrong and how he's doing. They are all telling me how much he has meant to them. They are concerned and compassionate. I understand their sadness on my behalf. I need to say this as I'm sure I will be saying this many times in the next months. I am not sad that he is going to die. I know that sound callous and unfeeling so let me explain. First of all I'm a Christian with a hope of heaven for eternity. I believe in a real heave described in Revelation in the Bible as well as other places. I believe what Jesus said when he spoke that he was going to heaven to prepare a place for us so that where he is we may be also. I have an anticipation of going there. Actually its a better prospect than my hope to go to New Zealand/Australia some day. I know I will get to heaven, I just wish some day to visit those other two countries, but I have my doubts. When I say that, I also know my father has the same promise and confidence in his reward. I know he's ready. He was ready four years ago at the age of 81 when the doctor told us he had cancer and had only 6-9 weeks to live. God healed him and has given him four additional years. I trust God knows the situation and it could be that mom is in a better frame of mind than she was back then and if dad needs to go home to heaven now, she is more ready to accept her time without him. I leave that in God's hands. I know when I look at my dad I see a man with his bags packed to go on a trip he's spend many years preparing for. Much like I would be if someone gave me a ticket and an all expense paid trip to the South Pacific. I know he is more afraid of having to deal with the process of dying than the actual death part. I'm sure he and all of us pray for an easy time of transition. I pray he has no pain or suffering. I would love to have him just go to sleep and not wake up. When? it matters not. I won't dread Christmas or New Years if God sees fit to call him home in the next two weeks. I love my dad. All through my life he has been my idol. I wanted to be his little girl and it took me a long time to realize he just had no idea how to be a dad let alone to a girl. He was a man's man and loved the sporting outdoors with other outdoors men. Since I was the oldest of all his girls (last of 5, a boy) He just didn't know what to do with us. We should just stay home with mom and do girl things. As we got older and began to form concepts and such, he was a guiding hand in our spiritual growth. Many times throughout the years my sister and brother have sat with him and discussed doctrine and Biblical truths. As the years have passed we've learned some things and he has learned from us. His Bible doctrine and faith has never wavered. So you see all this brings me to the point I can't be sad or distraught, may be a better word, at his passing. I see myself at the dock of the proverbial Jordan seeing him off. Yes, he will be missed, deeply. But how can you be sad when someone is walking on streets of gold? Moving into their mansion next to some long time friend or someone from the Bible days that is rejoicing at your arrival. I just think of his homecoming there with his parents and grandparents and his daughter waiting. How can I feel sad? I mean the sadness of despair. Tears come but they aren't of sadness. Just an emotion I have no name for. They are the same kind of tears I had when I watched our Christmas Concert about how God wants to speak to the hearts of those who are lonely, hurting or overwhelmed at this time of year. I watched that concert on our church's web page and thought God is speaking. He wants us to lean on Him for comfort, renewal, peace and direction. Why should I be sad when the arms of my heavenly father are there to welcome my dad when he arrives and those same arms will be my comfort while I remain until my time to cross? |
| I have been busy writing and revising my novel. Besides that we put the finishing touches on the lights for Christmas on the Campgrounds from Dec 13-15. It was a huge success and we had about 3,000 people tour the grounds, had cookies and hot chocolate, had their pictures taken with Bethlehem the camel. They lined up to take the live nativity tour and ride the wagons around the cabins to see Noah in his ark with all his animals. Along with many many lights and lighted figurines as well as nativity scenes. When that was all over I still had not decorated my tree. I did that last night, Well the bottom 3/4 of it is done. I need to get the little ornaments at the top when I get a ladder. Tonight I am off to Choir/Drama practice. Then again dress rehearsal on Friday night and the Concert on Sunday night. I have to make cookies and anise bread Wed and Thurs. Sat my son and his friends are going with me to see THE HOBBIT 2 can't wait. Another exciting this is about the novel I wrote in the mid 80's about a family who went missing in 1959 and the murder was never solved. Back in the 80's and 90's there was no internet to speak of and no Wiki not did newspapers put their archives on the internet to look at and copy. I did all my research by phone calls and the good old phone book. I wrote my novel. Then I wrote a spin off that was published and is called Family Secret in my port. Just a week or so ago I was contacted by a person who wanted to read my detective stories. We have been emailing almost every day. He has taken the research to a new level. One I no longer had the time to pursue. I love being his board to bounce idea off. He has found more information and connections then I ever did. We hope to meet in Jan to go over what I have and what he has. What he has told me and what I wrote are spot on. Who would have thought my fiction was more fact than the fiction I made up. I must have had someone guiding me. He wants to write the truth. I don't care. I like my little spin off and I may go back and rewrite the fiction piece I did, including all the things he's found to. I'm off to practice. See ya! |
| Last night I arrived at the Book Club leader's house where D (my coworker's wife) awaited me. Both she and C told me they loved my story and couldn't put it down. Others arrived and headed for the refreshment table then joined us in the family room. I was introduced to each one and they each told me their opinion of the book and we hadn't started the meeting yet. We briefly discussed the book and what questions they had that needed answers. There weren't all that many and they gave excellent suggestions. One I'm bothered by. They said I had too many Characters. I'll go into that later. As they ate, and drank, some wine, something I'm not sure of and a Chocolate wine, I did take a taste. I was curious. I don't like the taste of wine but this tasted like a chocolate Bailey's. They said there were good brands and bad brands and this was the best brand! Ok. I don't drink alcohol so that was wasted information. I do cook with wine from time to time (Rissotto). During our chat session, the 7 ladies wanted to know more about other things I've written. I gave them some sample plots and most were very interested in my first ever written novel about a family that was murdered here in Oregon. I came across this story when a reporter wrote a full page article in the Oregonian about the memory that came to her mind when a young family crashed their car on the 205 bridge and went over into the Columbia River. She wrote about another family who disappeared into the Columbia River and the murder was never solved. Actually they are pretty sure is was murder but there is no proof other than the car, Father, Mother and oldest daughter are still missing. The bodies of the two youngest girls were found 6 months later down river. When I told them the story of my research they were very interested in reading it. I might go back and look at it again, but I'm not sure I like it. We'll see. One of the ladies said she was related to the family that went over the bridge into the river. What a coincidence. They encouraged me to send them some of my other stories. I might print a few out for them to read over the holidays. |
| I have to catch up. I began my NANO challenge and finished with 52,284 words for the month. Not a complete novel but bits and pieces of things to put together at some time to make a novel. I started out with the story I thought I would love to write. Less than half way through I ran into a road block. It just sounded dumb. Not the plot but the story itself. I didn't have enough glue to keep the characters in place. I have a good Main Character with a good back story. She is the product of a good moral father raised in a Christian home and had a strong foundation. He married an Indian woman with a strong culture of her own. The two taught their daughter a good mix of both concepts. Both died at different times as MC reached her mid twenties. She shares an apartment with another girl who has renounced all religious teaching. The work for the same company where MC has strong feelings for the owner. Her job is going no where as the supervisor takes all her ideas that the boss likes and claims them as her own, "For the good of the team. No one is an island." Then MC is called to a lawyers office where she finds her father's uncle has left her a vast inheritance as the only blood relative left. As she begins to inspect the home and find out more about her estranged uncle she discovers a painting. The painting is of a point in history where Christ is struggling down the Via del Rosa carrying the cross. The rest of the painting depicts the crowd. It consists of his disciples and mother. Other followers, angry crowd, pompous religious leaders, Roman guards and curiosity seekers. It is a large painting hidden in a false wall she finds when moving furniture around her new room. The viewer finds them-self drawn to the figure that resembles them self. The face is an exact replica of their own, but reveals in the face and action depicted the true inner self of the viewer. The viewer only sees them-self in the painting and no other. Although as MC allows others to view the painting, some think their inner self is revealed to all watchers. As the different characters are introduced to MC and the painting, the response if varied. The Catholic priest, an uncle to the roommates boyfriend is horrified. He is haunted by the fact the others might see him in the painting and wonders if MC will recognize him. He tries to buy the painting but MC is wondering what is the value of this painting? She is going to have it appraised. The priest is upset and contacts the Bishop on the East Coast for back up. He doesn't tell his own bishop who is old and sick. The art gallery owner has a friend who works at the Guggenheim Museum. He contacts his friend when MC calls to ask for information on an obscure artist. MC doesn't tell the Gallery owner about the painting only asks about the painter. The friend asks the other researchers who refer him higher up. The information causes quite a stir as this artist worked with the Greats. Michael Angelo and DiVinci. He painted just a few canvases and there is only one that is at a museum. It isn't on display as the scene seems to change with the viewer and causes horrific emotion. The other works are unknown. There is a scramble to find if one of this artists paintings has been found. Can it be seen and purchased. MC is confused by the person in the painting she sees as herself. She needs to deal with what she sees and either work on herself or ignore it. There are others who come to know about the painting and try to steal it, burn the house down and kidnap the two girls for ransom of the painting. Here is where I ran into the roadblock. NOW WHAT? What will be my final conflict? I know in the end she agrees to put it on display at the Guggenhiem. They send a private plane for the painting, but the plane disappears and the pilot and copilot are gone. Infact the two who were scheduled to fly it were called to say it was cancelled. Who flew the plane? Where did it suddenly disappear to? MC smiles. The painting has disappeared and reappeared over the past hundreds of years. She is sure it will appear when needed in the future. She is glad it changed her life and those around her. There was my plot. it just didn't got anywhere in the details for me... Maybe I can pick it up again and it will resurface. |
| Its Monday morning, the last Monday of October. I cringe when my mind touts "Why does time fly the older you get?" Thursday afternoon Hubby and I left our home in Portland and drove Hwy26 east to Redmond, OR. After crossing just below Mt Hood we passed the cut off to Kahneeta. This is an Indian Reservation that has pools warmed by the underground hot springs. If I remember right. I think the last time I visited was in the late 70's or early 80's. Each time I drive by the exit I comment, "Some day I want to go visit there again." Each time we fly by and I hear "Another time." Past that we head over the edge of nowhere and into the valley of the DeShutes River and the little Indian village of Warm Springs. Years ago before they built a Casino there it was just a little smoke shop and quick stop grocery store. As we came down the hill I would see a faded sign made with markers that said INDIAN FRY BREAD. There were a couple on the descent. I always looked for some one selling the bread, but never saw a sign pointing to the place or anything other than the two signs near the top of the hill. Last month my friend left his box of pills and vitamins at his home. They arrived in Redmond for a few weeks vacation. Their son just asked if anyone wanted to drive the 2.5 hours over and back. I said I would go. It was a lovely drive. I had an Audio book to listen to. When I came over the ridge and started toward Warm Springs I noticed the signs were a bright ORANGE. I slowed and found another sign near a road and an empty lot. Here a tent was set up and a woman made the fry bread. I scored! She makes them different than what I am used to. The ones I've had were thick and only about six inches across. This woman pulled the bread to a thin pizza size (9 inches or so) and then fried it. She shook cinnamon and sugar on it and off I went to Redmond so happy. When I got there I delivered the pill box and bread to my boss/friends and left to drive back. Everyone was happy to get the fry bread. This last weekend we looked for the tent again but nothing was there. Disappointed we stopped at the casino to see what their restaurant might have. It was closed and all they serve is soup and bread ofr $9.99. Really? Besides it stunk of cigarette smoke so I was glad to leave. We saw two movies over the weekend. Captain Phillips and Gravity. Capt Phillips was a great movie. I followed the storyline and felt it pretty much portrayed what happened. I felt sorry for the 16 yr old boy who was killed, but when you make choices you must pay for them. MY biggest gripe is we now are infiltrated with Samolians who are relatives to these pirates. They like the Humongs are not the people who helped us in the war, they are the leeches who come here and suck off the bottom of our society. I will stop there. It is my pet peeve. We then saw Gravity which seemed to have high ratings. It was boring!! The story line had a great beginning. Then George Clooney is killed off and we have this woman who somehow is able to accomplish the unbeliveable task of getting a space ship into two, not just one, but two docking stations and then get herself back to earth. We only know one thing about her. She is a doctor of some sort on this mission as a payload and her daughter died.  She has no emotion other than the moment she talks about her daughter's death. No husband, or man in her life to miss or hate. She is emotionless and that's what I felt when the screen went black. I could have written a better script. The goal was to get back to earth or at least to a safe place. The motivation was simply the space debris came around every 90 minutes to wipe out all the space stations in its path. The conflicts are she loses two of her outside coworkers and then finds out all the the other inside people are dead too. Then she gets in a shuttle to get to the next station, that breaks appart and she has to get that shuttle to the next space station. All of which she knew how to do all this even though she failed the simulator test every time. Then she doesn't burn up on reentry and lands in a lake some where. The end. It isn't any closure other than she's landed somewhere on earth and can walk. The territory looks like something out of Jurrasic Park. Whoa did I see the shadow of a dinosaur creeping up on her? That might have been better than the movie itself. Tina Weaver ** Image ID #1634119 Unavailable ** |
| I opened my email and found the response from the woman in charge of the book club. She is going to let me know how many will be reading my novel. I'm sending a work sheet of suggestions and direction so they have something to focus on. I'm also sending a Non-disclosure agreement. I trust people but one needs to be careful these days. Just covering all bases. I don't care if they are accomplished reviewers, but having someone who isn't related to you read your work is always a positive. I think this is a great idea and I will post how it goes as they will be reading this in November. We will meet at the end of Nov for a face to face. I suggest many of you know a book club group. Be particular and ask questions about the style of books they read. Is it all one genre? Do they read only the best sellers or National book club reccomends? I prefer those little groups who, like me and my sisters, joined a group to read books outside our normal comfort zone. I will say we read some great books BEFORE they became best sellers and movies. It seemed we were 3-4 months ahead of the majority of big reader groups. I loved our book choices. Some books I liked others I didn't care so much for. It was only when the social time spread into the review time and the women couldn't stay focused on the books that we quit. Tina Weaver ** Image ID #1634119 Unavailable ** |
| What a wonderful day this ended up to be. I wrote a bit for the NaNo Challenge but at the end of the work day I received a welcome and pleasant surprise. The wife of one of my co-workers comes in to pick him up some evenings. We've talked about books and writing. Last week she told me about her neighbor who is a retired teacher. She is tutoring a child with disabilities. I asked if Diane might ask her friend if she would be willing to do some pro bono work and read my novel and do some editing or just tell me what she thinks. Diane said she'd ask her. She came to my desk with a piece of paper and said she talked to her friends and gave them an idea. What if their book club took my novel on as a project. WOW! I was amazed, surprised and excited! I said, "YES! Of Course. She asked me to send a my bio and a synop about the book to the leader, Diane's teacher friend. She will contact the book club members to see if they want to do the project. Diane said she proposed it to her friend who thought it was a great idea and something different. They would be helping a writer instead of just reviewing a book amoung themselves. Yea! I'm so happy so have an unbiased group read the story and rip it appart. That's what makes me a better writer and maybe even get it published in 2014!! |
| The Professional writer. Having watched young musicians, some my age and older deduced that "professional" is when you are paid, hired (for some numeration) to perform on a regualar basis for those outside your friends and family. We have a good sized orchestra at our church. We have concerts; playing and singing high quality classical and symphonic music. I consider the orchestra professional in their quality and dedication. Since none are paid and perform only for concerts and church services(3 times a week) they aren't "professional" musicians. That being said, within the orchestra are individuals that compete playing their instruments. They are paid to play in outside orchestras and events. (Weddings, anniversarys and whatever people want music for) They are professionals. Recognized for their talent and respected for their ability, they have been chosen by non-family and friends to perform for pay. That is what I think professional writers are. It's something you are paid for. That being said also, to qualify as a professional if you self publish it doesn't count, unless you sell a qualifying number or books or a main stream publisher wants to reissue your book. (Noted by RMA and other Organizations) Then you're considered professional. I've read self-published books and find that was probably the only way they would get it in print. Is that the "professional" class you want to be associated with? Not me! I will, when I feel my book is sufficiently edited and can't get it published main stream, do it myself. I believe self-publishing is the future just as E-books are the future. Writing is the oldest form of communication and books need to be as "professionally' written, editied and published. If Stephanie Meyer can get her first books made to a movie the rest of us should have just a good a chance. ( do I hear an AMEN?)  Tina Weaver ** Image ID #1634119 Unavailable ** |
| Hi everyone, Saturday I volunteered for our annual WORDSTOCK convention. This event brings authors, writers and readers from all over together for 3 days. I attend on Sat and this time I snuck out for a Sunday afternoon visit. What I am about to tell you is why I love WDC!!! Why I think everyone of you are awesome. Along the front wall as you entered the hall were tables set up for authors to sell their books. I'm assuming since others bought booth space this format was cheaper and it put a bunch of authors together in one place so you could see the genre you liked easily. I passed a number of authors. One couple were a son/daughter and mother who wrote a book on their relationship as the child transgendered. The person spoke adamately about the transition and about the book. Others were a variety of genres across the board. I met a woman and her mother that self-published a book. The premise intrigued me and I asked questions about it and gave a little about my story and my problems with it. The daughter told me, "If you buy my book, I'll read your story and let you know what I think." I thought that was a good deal so I did. I wanted the book anyway to see what it was about. OH LORDYYYY. Some people have more $ than brains. I was anxious to read the story, so on the Max train going back to my car I started to read. REALLY?! I hadn't read more than a couple of pages when I was blindsided. I was cruising along when all of the sudden the word "Was" kept slapping my vision. In one paragraph alone the word was used 5 TIMES! I didn't bother to count the number used in the whole page. Then the word VERY popped out every so often. Followed by a number of "Well,...." This is still only in the first 25 pages or less. I also came across this sentence 'Sharon opened the door to find Officer Jackson standing there.' Do you know what is wrong with this? She used -ed which is past (I am telling you Sharon opened the door in the past) but immedately we are thrown into the present now facing the Officer. It should read 'Sharon opened the door. Officer Jackson stood there with his hat in his hand... ' or what ever he did. I haven't read any more of the book. When I returned to talk to her, She smiled and said they were doing to do a re-edit as they alone had done it the first time. I gently offered some suggestions and why. I told her If I came to you and said "Well, I just want to tell you this, but Well, I'm not sure how you will take it..." You wouldn't be very confident about what I was going to tell you. We use it when we talk, Don't use it unless you want to convey the person is weak and wishywashy." She understood and thanked me. I was careful and explained I had my work ripped and cut until I have become a better writer because of it. We have to have thick skins when it come to those who read our work. As an author I expect the writer to be at least as good as I am and I hope so much better. If "I" see flaws you know it was pretty bad. I'm just a published short story author with flaws and plenty of room to grow. WDC has been the group that made me a better writer every year. When I'm told not to do something I try to remember it all the time. There are reviews that offer suggestion to what we write. While the gist of what is offered may or may not fit our idea, if it is about the technical part of our writing we need to take notice. Just a homey story about my weekend. I met an author whose book was on the NYTimes best seller list. (all be it just for one day she said) I told her no one needs to know that part. I bought her book and she gave me excellent advice on publishing. She sold the book for 1/2 price since she didn't want to carry them home. That's all for today.... |
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She is a great woman and so kind to me.