%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 |
Blog started in Jan 2005: 1st entries for Write in Every Genre. Then the REAL ME begins |
|
It Hurts When I Stop Talking Sometime in Fall of 1998, when a visit from Dad was infrequent, and primarily at the mercy of his 88 Toyota making the 50 mile journey, I was being treated to lunch. The restaurant was my choice, I think. Sisley Italian Kitchen at the Town Center mall was somewhere my dad had not yet tried, so that was my pick. Either I was being treated to the luxury of lunch and adult conversation without my husband and 5 year old son in tow, or that's just how the moment has lodged in my memory. The more I think about it, they probably were there, but enjoying the Italian food too much to bother interrupting. Daddy and his lady friend at the time, Anne, came up together and made a day of it with me and the family. We were eating together and talking about some of my scripts, stories, coverages, poems and other creative attempts that really were not seeing the light of day. I think I'd just finished a group reading of The Artist's Way and was in a terribly frenetic mood over my writing. I think I'd just given them an entire rundown on a speculative Star Trek script. My Dad asked me point blank, “Why don’t you write it?? Anne agreed. It sure sounded like I wanted to write it. Why wasn't I writing seriously? It's what I'd set out to do when earning my college degree in Broadcasting many years earlier. Heck, I should, I agreed non-verbally. “I will.” But, I didn’t. Blogs can be wild, unpredictable storehouses of moments, tangents, creative dervishes, if you will. I'm getting a firmer handle on my creative cycle. My mental compost heap (which is a catch phrase from Natalie Goldman or Julia Cameron - I can't think which, right now) finally seems to be allowing a fairly regular seepage of by-products. That may be a gross analogy, but I give myself credit to categorize my work in raw terms. It proves that I'm not so much the procrastinating perfectionist that I once was. Still, I always seem to need prompts and motivation. Being a self-starter is the next step. My attempt to keep up in the Write in Every Genre Contest at the beginning of the year seemed like a perfect point to launch the blog. |
| I heard February Song for the first time on March 1st around lunch time. I was able to discern Josh Groban's voice, but the lyrics were too new to my brain to follow along exactly. So, I found myself in that rare, listening to the radio, and experiencing a song personally for the first time kind of moment. It's mostly a rare occurance due to stock radio programming. It's a shame. When disc-jockeys had more direct influence, or rather autonomy, in the songs played over the course of one day or a shift; well, I imagine that had to be a much more exhilerating experience. An experience that made loyal radio fan for the sake of the music, not necessarily the personality at the mic. I experienced this kind of overpowering enjoyment the first time I heard the accoustic version of Seal's Love Divine. It's that kind of performance that draws me in, and soon I too wish to learn the song lyrics for myself. |
| I have just under three months before I actually turn forty years old. (Hah ha hah, I just had to edit myself, because I actually typed 'thirty' where I stated 'forty.') While I've lived my entire life with a disability, a recent bout of muscle weakness is causing me concern and pain. My walking is a unique configuration, (alright, not that unique among all who have Cerebral Palsy and are able to ambulate), but I am thoroughly not liking the unsteadiness this ankle strain is causing. It vascillates between the two ankles, so I cannot rely on either, it seems. My husband believes the wear and tear is the main reason I am having this problem. In the simplest terms, it is age-related. Gack! He's not being unkind in bringing this to my attention; after-all, he's older than me and knows what he's talkin about. Thought interrupted by Stephen Colbert's request to have several items added to the thing to pray on his behalf February 22nd. That God will grant me a Gulfstream 3 Invisibility - He'll only use it for good...Yeah...Right. Travel back in time to bare-knukle fight Oliver Cromwell...O...kay?! |
| I participated in group meditation Tuesday night, and in focusing on the idea of wholeness, I saw the Helix planetary nebula in my mind’s eye. Just the night before, my husband showed me the immensely beautiful infrared image of the eye-like White Dwarf. My spiritual wonder, in which a discussion could have been further entertained on travel to distant galaxies via nothing more than the mind, was obviously piqued. I will have to get time to draw that conversation out more. On a logic-based, plane of curiosity, I had more concrete thoughts about the image of the nebula. I wondered which space program or research team was behind the publishing of the image. Tonight I did a little research of my own — most are only aware of the Hubble Telescope. That equipment, however, was not the one to bring God’s Eye home to me. Taken from a Caltech press release: “NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory, Pasadena, Calif., manages the Spitzer Space Telescope mission for NASA's Science Mission Directorate, Washington. Science operations are conducted at the Spitzer Science Center at the California Institute of Technology, also in Pasadena. Caltech manages JPL for NASA.” JPL is in my backyard, who knew the hierarchy? |
| It is gratifying to hear the reports of high Oscar potential for Peter O’Toole’s smashing performance in Venus. The stance and mannerisms of this grand actor have bubbled-up in my own imagination. The professor I have created for my Writing.com Campfire, “Conspiracy In Fellowship,” I have just consciously realized is based on Peter O’Toole. So, Peter O’Toole, what an actor you are! You are one that performs so glowingly, I go about life as if I’ve met you. I still have impressions in my mind from his performance 22 years ago in the movie Creator. It’s one I’d watch again. |
| For my son's birthday, my mom and I picked up a copy of Michael Stadther's Alchemist Dar book. Actually, she could tell that I liked it. The illustrations appeared to be deeply colored watercolor pieces reminescent of fantasy illustrator Michael Hague's; of forests with fairies, dogs with moth wings and a half-elven woman. I am sucked into the word puzzles, and recently researched to remind myself what some of the word forms are called Palindrome — A word that reads the same both forwards and backwards Anagram — A puzzle solution of letters from a single or series of words rescrambled into another word or series of words Ambigram — A visual presentation of a word which reads one way and by a different orientation, either as the same word or a new word; A remarkable form of this is when an antonym of the original word is formed. (ex. Life — Death) Look into it — and read a book to a child. |
| Six degrees of separation is a socialogical concept that firmly moved into pop culture during the Nineties when it became a type of game some called, Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon. So the fascinating play of it became relating any celebrity one can think of to a film with an appearance of Kevin Bacon. Try it if you never have. It's pretty incredible how you can see the web of interconnectedness, even if it is a bit forced by this analogy. Equally cool is the beginning of a way to bring it full-circle, back from time-wasting distraction to a force for good in the world. The launch of sixdegrees.org welcomes people to examine the interests and charitable causes of celebs and the everyman, and make donations based on one's findings on the site. Kevin Bacon is the spokesperson carrying forward the concept of how people are, or could see, how they are more connected than we sometimes feel. |
| I read the details of the Detroit Auto Show, and the opinions that the big automakers still are only rolling out hybrid vehicles as window-dressing. Then the Schwarzennegger editions of burgeoning horsepower and increased heft get the marketing. I want to drive a vehicle that runs clean and doesn't cost me a fortune because, otherwise, without fine-tuning, it only words some of the time. My family has only one vehicle. I bought it used and I'm still paying it off. It is a good stable car. I'm really stuck on this idea that I have to do more. And by more I mean, drive less. Not beating myself up; I know my family consciously does more than most just by having only one car. Being close to work helps too. In a couple of years my son could be wanting a car. I think I must break the cycle at that point. If there is to be a second car, simply because my son will have reached the minimum age to drive. I may have to insist it is alt. fuel. |
| About one week ago, I thought about entering the Dear Me Contest. But based on my failure to-date on sticking to New Year's Resolutions, I just as quickly disqualified myself by noting that even something that would sound good, like: I have a goal to "write in my blog every week" was beyond me. So, I'm back to course-correcting. I have become a much more cynical, no, skeptical person than I once was. Of course I also used to be a much more naive person too. Now, I just feel very lax. Could my laziness ever get me in as much trouble as my sweet naivete? Ha, "the skeptic" voice just cleared it's throat and spoke like Jack Nicolson, "You betcha, Baby..." Ohh, the chills! My ninety year-old neighbor, dear, dear friend, has much hope for my Practitioner studies. She hopes I can heal her ills. I have the block to overcome of her age. My mind screams out, "I'm only entering my second class! Ten hours of dilligence placed atop my other fifteen, still will only be a drop in the bucket to my understanding...How long do you really expect and want to live?" I know I have a big failure issue. That's probably the main problem. Talk about wondering if I'm setting myself up for failure! Sorry if this is too much of an internal rant for anyone but me to get much from. |
| Both dogs walked *check* (but buy new harness — jerryrigged one does not eliminate Max's proclivity for escape) Banking transaction (thankfully only one today) — recorded *check* This is one way to keep to those New Year's Resolutions, eh? I can use my blog as that goal chart I was considering tacking up on a wall somewhere today. In a virtual manner, this can be one step closer to that reality. For in my forty years, I actually have learned a few things about my nature. Yes, I wanted to encourage a turning of new leaves, but I was not yet prepared with either gold stars nor posterboard to make said imagined chart. So, rather than let the idea slip by, I place my achievements here — humble as they are — and I place my gold stars. |
| Four months ago, I began working out of a regional office closer to home, which served to both keep me with the company, but in a different capacity, and rescue me from the uncertainty surrounding the production department I was leaving behind. I still have friends that are working as the skeleton crew for the shrinking in-house production area. With each change I catch wind of, I "write home" to see how my buddies are faring. I try to keep it light. When my left-behind co-workers tell of their torture, I say it's company policy. It's sad, but true, there are SNAFUs aplenty. And dare I point out that SNAFU literally translates as: Systems Normal, All Fucked Up. ID badges not working at the door, and lights turning off on a production floor with crew are conditions I've dealt with before at this company. I suffer vicariously through a co-worker's description of the pitfalls. As I write it, I wonder if I am using the word vicariously properly. Indeed. Webster's dictionary tells me that while vicarious can describe: imaginative or sympathetic participation in the experience of another; there's a definition that precedes it. Vicarious: performed or suffered by one person as a substitute for another or to the benefit or advantage of another : SUBSTITUTIONARY <a vicarious sacrifice>. There is such a thing as survivor guilt. And I now think I have the perfect definition and understanding of it. |
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
