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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/adherennium
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168 Public Reviews Given
170 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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1
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
You have a good eye for little details that help flesh out a story and make it seem real, without feeling 'padded.' The word count shows that you're serious about your writing, as I've read quite a few pieces on WDC that tell a story in a lot less, and consequently read as though they are doing the bare minimum. Didn't have any errors leap out at me, but I know you are attentive to proper grammar and spelling, so that came as no surprise.

The story is interesting, (I mean that as a high compliment), and because of that I had no trouble reading to the end. The characters develop nicely, and I liked that Jason wasn't as he at first seemed. All in all, a great read. Thank you.
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2
Review of My WdC Story  
Rated: E | (5.0)
What makes WDC so special are the people who take part in making it that way. Your essay highlights this beautifully. It does of course miss that YOU are a part of the community that helps make it special, and your reviews and comments are much appreciated. I'm fairly sure I am correct in thinking that many others besides me hope that you continue to be an active member for many years to come.
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3
Rated: E | (5.0)
The first thing that i notice about this piece is that it is presented as a large block of text, and sadly for me, most of the text is quite small. To make a longer piece like this attractive to read, you need to use space. Simply putting a space between paragraphs dramatically improves your chances of being read. I would also suggest separating out headings more. I notice that you have used bold to add emp0hasis, and that is good, but space around the headings, and also perhaps using a slightly larger font than the main text would further help. Last thing to say on the presentation is that a larger font in general is probably a good idea. I usually use at least size 4.0 There is no downside to this, and it helps those of us who's eyesight isn't all it could be.

Your article covers a lot of ground, and is well written. I haven't seen any glaring spelling errors or similar, which shows that you've made the effort to check this sort of thing (you'd be surprised how many don't).

One thing that you might consider is adding something personal. Someone reading this without knowing anything about you may wonder, "why should I take advice from this person?". A few words about why you wrote the article, and how you have come to your various suggestions and conclusions about love, you can answer their question and incline them to read the whole article.

The one piece of advice that you give that I personally feel is on shaky ground is where you advice not to discuss your relationship with others. I like that you qualify this with a warning about physical abuse, but this is not the only way a partner can be abusive. My concern is that you may give someone the impression that they shouldn't listen to anyone unless it's about a physical abuse. I do see the point that you are trying to make there, but it needs very careful wording.

Overall you show that you are a thoughtful and caring individual writing about something that matters to you. You use nice clear phrasing and for the most part communicate your ideas very well. An excellent piece of writing, well done.
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Review of Na NO  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Maybe I could get the name of the scientific cousin and her professor? Seriously though, I enjoyed this a lot, nice dash of humour to help it along, and a great pace. I very much appreciated the sizing of the font and the spacing, little things that make a story so much more appealing to read that are often forgotten.

My favourite paragraph is the one that begins, 'The agents, lining at my door. The publishers, lining at my agent's door.', ah well, we can all dream can't we.*Delight*

Thanks for a fun and entertaining read.
5
5
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Very nicely done, and some excellent use of rhyme.
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6
Review of My Tabby Tiger  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is nicely rhymed and I like the touches of humour despite Felix being a furry killing machine. Sharing is just a cat's way of showing love as I'm sure you're already aware. This little poem beautifully captures the essence of kitties and their relationship to those who care for them.
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Review of Complex Numbers  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Setting up for such a truly abominable pun...

My compliments - that was a stinker *Rolling**Rolling**Rolling*
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Review of Screaming Witch  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
This is an interesting little piece, and I like the concept of a witch sleep-casting. These characters deserve to be given a long piece, so that they could develop.

One small typo, Only if you cone with me ..." should be "Only if you come with me ..." I think.

I think an astrolabe needs slightly more than a glance to be used by the way, but it's a cool alternative to a clock, and so adds to the 'witchy' feel, so it works (apart from pedantic remarks from certain reviewers *FacePalm*).

Hope to see more of Leah and Bridget in the future.
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Review of Toe in the Water  
for entry "P.O.M.S.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
There are of course also C.O.B,s of the female persuasion (Crazy Old Bags), whose stereotypical depiction involves a lot of cats. Suspiciously many of these sound like Terry Jones of Monty Python fam.
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Review of Life Eternal  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
What a great concept, I love how you've handled this prompt, and can see why it's a winner. Intriguing that in this story it is Life who is if not the bad guy, then at the very least hardly providing a full picture of what is involved with his offer. I could imagine this as a lead into a longer story, maybe Brad would meet some of the other victims, is everything Life told them true? I think that is what makes this so good, it leaves me as a reader wanting more.
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Review of Even Prompter  
for entry "Mirror Man
Rated: E | (5.0)
A talented man, but also very lucky to have a poet as a friend, so he is still remembered, and others learn of him and his talents.

I had come across 'canard' before, but couldn't remember exactly what it was, though the context made guessing easy enough before I checked. The first verse is my favourite, and this is a neat and thoughtful little poem.
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Rated: E | (5.0)
This is a cute little tale, and I especially love the idea of there being many Chapters/Divisions of the Groundhog Union. Surprising that Chester didn't also take umbrage at the 'Woodchuck' appellation, but he had his priorities right.
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Review of BANANAS  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You convey your love of bananas very effectively in this short piece. We generally only see one type of banana in the UK supermarkets, though other kinds can be found in smaller shops sometimes. I like making banana bread with over-ripe fruit, and mashing them into porridge makes a wonderful breakfast. Thanks for sharing this lovely insight into this important foodstuff.
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Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
In my one sentence review of this piece I will pass over the fact that some of these are quite long sentences, as it might wind up a case of the pot calling the kettle, and besides it's a fun idea, brilliantly executed by your good self, I was very pleased to see 'Aelita, Queen of Mars' in there, although my favourite review has to be for the terrific, 'Everything Everywhere All At Once', so, no complaints here and I look forwards to Part Two!
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Review of Writing Blog  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Sadly, you aren't alone in feeling the stress these days. Knowing that never helps, (at least I don't think it does), but hang on in there Sir. You have a lot of talent, and you are definitely valued by many in WDC, both for your newsfeed contributions, and your writings in general. There are always those who will kick back against things that personally affront them, ignoring them is the very best response. Glad that you are managing to see your strengths. Personally I think I survive sometimes because I'm a terrible coward, whatever works I guess.
16
16
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your piece admirably illustrates how a song can become entwined with a memory. This works two ways, with the song ever after evoking the emotional impact of the event when it is heard, and it itself being coloured by those memories, (in this case sadly tarnished).

My first experience of this was having just bought Bowie's cover of 'Wild is the Wind', and playing it, when my mother came in and told me that my grandmother had just died. Can't hear it now without remembering that.

Your ruthful autobiographical piece is well written in an accessible and intimate manner, and left me hoping that you subsequently found someone to share joyous music with.

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Review of Summertime  
Rated: E | (5.0)
'Summertime' is a favorite song, though I confess I have never heard this version of it before. Have to say, I loved it.

Your poetry blended biography with emotion. Free verse done well, (like it is here), is a pleasure to read, and re-read. You captured the power of Joplin's voice, the channeling of powerful emotion with a smattering of Gershwin's lyrics. You allude to her untimely demise, and tie that in to a terrible sense of loss.

It's a great poem, but these lines especially stand out for me:

"And what have they to do
With singing Summertime? And yet

And yet they did
And bent the knee of rock
Before the Blues"

A first class entry. Thank you for introducing me to this version of the song, and more so, for your wonderful poem.
18
18
Review of A Touch of Magic  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
What a beautiful tale, with the sort of magic that brings tears when it's read. I have to say I hoped the ending might be what it was, and I was so pleased you did go for such a happy conclusion.

I did spot an oddity that had been left in the story:

The paragraph that begins 'I love performing for young children', ends with ' {/linespaceer'.

Sadly you won't be able to remove that now until after judging, but it isn't something I'd mark anyone down for, (too prone to typos myself).

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Review of Dancing Sticks  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I always enjoy watching instruments being played, which was why the title of the contest was 'Sound & Vision'. Your poem beautifully ties into your video pick, how do drummers manage to make it look so easy?

Blending the words of the song being played, 'Yellow Bird', into the poem was a clever idea. It tied the poem closely to the video. Your own words capture the interaction of the dancing sticks with the drums and other percussive instruments and illustrated some of the intricacy of the drumming. The snatches of rhyme add to the interest when reading the poem aloud, (which I did). Very impressive entry.
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Review of Ha ha!  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I loved the video that inspired your piece, which was equally dark and brooding. A short, scary monologue that was enough to convey a disturbing mind making scary decisions. The only criticism I have is that it was very short, and I'd have liked a bit more flesh on the bones. I think I know what the piece is about, but I'm not 100%.
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Review of Staleness Fix  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love Santana, and this is a great track. So I can see how it would get you grooving, hard not to to such sublime music.

This is a great little poem, having read it once, I read it again and mentally added 'Smooth' to it, excellent overlay. With a neat rhyme scheme, and a nice economy of words, you describe the affliction of staleness, and the joyous release from it that great music provides. Thank you for sharing your music, and for your poem.
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22
Rated: E | (5.0)
I have to confess that this is not a review, but instead a reply to your work.

Perhaps the way to view this, is that with a secure job, you have the ability to resource your creative side. You may think that you have no time for your chosen art(s), but this is probably not the case. If your life seems too busy to find time for art, then examine it closely. You don't work all the time, so sacrifice something else that you do in your leisure time, and do art instead. Even a half hour a day would add up over time.

Do the art because you love doing it, not as an alternative to your work. Making money from your art is of course possible, but I would suggest, only if you are truly passionate about what you do will this be possible. If you do it because you love it, that will show, and if you regularly spend time on your art, it will develop and get better and better as you become more skilled.

There are lots of platforms for people to share their art, and of course lots of people doing just that. Most of them perhaps are secretly hoping for the big break, but a better aim is to do something because of the satisfaction that it gives you personally.

Can you devote all your time to your art? It is possible, but it isn't necessary to do so to get started. Build your skills, hone your talent, more importantly ENJOY what you do. The satisfaction comes from making something wonderful that you are proud of. Anything else will follow from this.

Sad to say - if you want to spend all your time on art, this is work. You need to research all the possible markets, you need to know how potential buyers decide who to buy from. You need of course something worth selling. You need to know how to sell what you produce.

I'm not trying to put you off at all. Only if you put all your effort into your art could you make a living from it. My point is - don't expect to go from nothing to that all in one go. It isn't likely to happen. Spend as much free time as you can on your art,in all aspects - i.e. don't neglect to research the market as well. But mainly get all the satisfaction that you can by being the artist you want to be.
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Review of The Jester  
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is beautiful, and I'm slightly embarrassed to say, it brought tears to my eyes. I love the mystery hidden in your words. I especially love the sense of caring, and selfless love the Jester expresses. There are many horrors in the world, but your poem reminds us there is also love.

Happy anniversary Sir.
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Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Such a clever idea, to break up the name and expand each part so beautifully. The second stanza is perfect, with the in-line rhyme of core and bore, and the conjuring up of ancient pent up energies released.

The giant gulp of the fourth stanza pushes the poem on, capturing the power involved. Then you describe the wave, the sudden imposition of destruction. I feel the proper word to describe your poem is 'awesome', in the proper sense of invoking awe in the reader. An awesome poem, from a Master poet.

Happy anniversary Sir.
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25
Rated: E | (5.0)
Rest assured that you are not alone in forgetting things that you've written. This is great, thanks for the chortle.
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