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149 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Rhymer’s Book  
for entry "I Said What I Said
Review by Adherennium
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Basically my friend, (and I'm very proud to be able to call you that), YOU ROCK! Love what you have written here, because you are always so positive in your dealings with the rest of us, you deserve to feel good about yourself, your own power. Now you are owning it, whatever you choose to do, I'm confident you'll go from strength to strength. Sure there will be knock-backs, that's life, but you'll pick yourself up, wiser and stronger than before and go on.
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Review of Writing Blog  
Review by Adherennium
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Sadly, you aren't alone in feeling the stress these days. Knowing that never helps, (at least I don't think it does), but hang on in there Sir. You have a lot of talent, and you are definitely valued by many in WDC, both for your newsfeed contributions, and your writings in general. There are always those who will kick back against things that personally affront them, ignoring them is the very best response. Glad that you are managing to see your strengths. Personally I think I survive sometimes because I'm a terrible coward, whatever works I guess.
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for entry "Stromae
Review by Adherennium
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I first came across Stromae's track 'Papaoutai', and was hooked. He does seem to cover dark theme's, and often with considerable intelligence and sensitivity. L’enfer is another amazing song, though as you point out it's theme is loneliness and suicide. I find it fascinating how you are using it in such a positive manner, and hope that it continues to aid you in your efforts to improve your health.
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Review by Adherennium
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your piece admirably illustrates how a song can become entwined with a memory. This works two ways, with the song ever after evoking the emotional impact of the event when it is heard, and it itself being coloured by those memories, (in this case sadly tarnished).

My first experience of this was having just bought Bowie's cover of 'Wild is the Wind', and playing it, when my mother came in and told me that my grandmother had just died. Can't hear it now without remembering that.

Your ruthful autobiographical piece is well written in an accessible and intimate manner, and left me hoping that you subsequently found someone to share joyous music with.

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Review of Summertime  
Review by Adherennium
Rated: E | (5.0)
'Summertime' is a favorite song, though I confess I have never heard this version of it before. Have to say, I loved it.

Your poetry blended biography with emotion. Free verse done well, (like it is here), is a pleasure to read, and re-read. You captured the power of Joplin's voice, the channeling of powerful emotion with a smattering of Gershwin's lyrics. You allude to her untimely demise, and tie that in to a terrible sense of loss.

It's a great poem, but these lines especially stand out for me:

"And what have they to do
With singing Summertime? And yet

And yet they did
And bent the knee of rock
Before the Blues"

A first class entry. Thank you for introducing me to this version of the song, and more so, for your wonderful poem.
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Review of A Touch of Magic  
Review by Adherennium
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
What a beautiful tale, with the sort of magic that brings tears when it's read. I have to say I hoped the ending might be what it was, and I was so pleased you did go for such a happy conclusion.

I did spot an oddity that had been left in the story:

The paragraph that begins 'I love performing for young children', ends with ' {/linespaceer'.

Sadly you won't be able to remove that now until after judging, but it isn't something I'd mark anyone down for, (too prone to typos myself).

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Review of Dancing Sticks  
Review by Adherennium
Rated: E | (5.0)
I always enjoy watching instruments being played, which was why the title of the contest was 'Sound & Vision'. Your poem beautifully ties into your video pick, how do drummers manage to make it look so easy?

Blending the words of the song being played, 'Yellow Bird', into the poem was a clever idea. It tied the poem closely to the video. Your own words capture the interaction of the dancing sticks with the drums and other percussive instruments and illustrated some of the intricacy of the drumming. The snatches of rhyme add to the interest when reading the poem aloud, (which I did). Very impressive entry.
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Review of Ha ha!  
Review by Adherennium
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I loved the video that inspired your piece, which was equally dark and brooding. A short, scary monologue that was enough to convey a disturbing mind making scary decisions. The only criticism I have is that it was very short, and I'd have liked a bit more flesh on the bones. I think I know what the piece is about, but I'm not 100%.
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Review of Rhymer’s Book  
for entry "All the Rhymers
Review by Adherennium
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Fascinating insight into your life Rhymer, and I love the pictures, though 2006 makes me think 'mad scientist' for some reason, (that said the remains of my hair ensures that I look 'mad scientist' every morning, so no slur intended there. Especially powerful is your three rings picture *Heart* though, very cool.

I love what you communicate directly about yourself, but I wonder how much you realise that you also convey your strength of character, and your wisdom.

We all get tired, and getting old is a kind of two edged sword privilege, but stay strong, and never forget you've got people who care about you to help you get through the days that suck.

Thank you for sharing.
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Review of Staleness Fix  
Review by Adherennium
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love Santana, and this is a great track. So I can see how it would get you grooving, hard not to to such sublime music.

This is a great little poem, having read it once, I read it again and mentally added 'Smooth' to it, excellent overlay. With a neat rhyme scheme, and a nice economy of words, you describe the affliction of staleness, and the joyous release from it that great music provides. Thank you for sharing your music, and for your poem.
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Review of Jordan  
Review by Adherennium
Rated: E | (5.0)
I'd never heard of Rival Sons, however, I'm pleased to say I do have a pulse. The guy's voice is incredible, and the musician's provided the perfect backdrop to it. Your piece conveys well how much you like this song/performance, and how passionately you want others to share your enjoyment. The not exactly unspoken reason for me running the Sound & Vision contest was to lead me to new music to enjoy, and you have done that. Thank you for entering, and for sharing your music.
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Review by Adherennium
Rated: E | (5.0)
I have to confess that this is not a review, but instead a reply to your work.

Perhaps the way to view this, is that with a secure job, you have the ability to resource your creative side. You may think that you have no time for your chosen art(s), but this is probably not the case. If your life seems too busy to find time for art, then examine it closely. You don't work all the time, so sacrifice something else that you do in your leisure time, and do art instead. Even a half hour a day would add up over time.

Do the art because you love doing it, not as an alternative to your work. Making money from your art is of course possible, but I would suggest, only if you are truly passionate about what you do will this be possible. If you do it because you love it, that will show, and if you regularly spend time on your art, it will develop and get better and better as you become more skilled.

There are lots of platforms for people to share their art, and of course lots of people doing just that. Most of them perhaps are secretly hoping for the big break, but a better aim is to do something because of the satisfaction that it gives you personally.

Can you devote all your time to your art? It is possible, but it isn't necessary to do so to get started. Build your skills, hone your talent, more importantly ENJOY what you do. The satisfaction comes from making something wonderful that you are proud of. Anything else will follow from this.

Sad to say - if you want to spend all your time on art, this is work. You need to research all the possible markets, you need to know how potential buyers decide who to buy from. You need of course something worth selling. You need to know how to sell what you produce.

I'm not trying to put you off at all. Only if you put all your effort into your art could you make a living from it. My point is - don't expect to go from nothing to that all in one go. It isn't likely to happen. Spend as much free time as you can on your art,in all aspects - i.e. don't neglect to research the market as well. But mainly get all the satisfaction that you can by being the artist you want to be.
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Review of The Jester  
Review by Adherennium
Rated: E | (5.0)
This is beautiful, and I'm slightly embarrassed to say, it brought tears to my eyes. I love the mystery hidden in your words. I especially love the sense of caring, and selfless love the Jester expresses. There are many horrors in the world, but your poem reminds us there is also love.

Happy anniversary Sir.
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Review by Adherennium
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Such a clever idea, to break up the name and expand each part so beautifully. The second stanza is perfect, with the in-line rhyme of core and bore, and the conjuring up of ancient pent up energies released.

The giant gulp of the fourth stanza pushes the poem on, capturing the power involved. Then you describe the wave, the sudden imposition of destruction. I feel the proper word to describe your poem is 'awesome', in the proper sense of invoking awe in the reader. An awesome poem, from a Master poet.

Happy anniversary Sir.
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Review by Adherennium
Rated: E | (5.0)
Rest assured that you are not alone in forgetting things that you've written. This is great, thanks for the chortle.
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Review of Foole Alert  
Review by Adherennium
Rated: E | (5.0)
Perfect for the day, thank you so much for sharing this.
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Review of Writing Blog  
Review by Adherennium
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
When I was trying to get through the NaNoWriMo last year, I set myself goals for each day, but also specific rewards for reaching those goals. The first week completed I treated my wife and myself to a cup of coffee and biscuits at a favorite shop, the next week a kebab take out that I especially enjoy. The rewards weren't big or especially expensive, but they did act as an incentive. Hope that helps. Do you have anyone that you trust who has PayPal and could take payment to for you, sorry I'm sure you've thought of that already. I hope matters improve for you.
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Review by Adherennium
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I really like this spirit infested poem. Something I did notice is that part of it is directly addressed to the ghost, and the rest to the reader. Because of this divide I think there should be a break between the lines 'nowhere to go', and 'even though'. This could reasonably replace the break between 'to leave' and 'she lingers', which feel as though they belong together. Those quibbles aside, you capture the gentle haunting beautifully. Thanks for sharing this, if this is the sort of standard you have, then it's great news that you are writing again.
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Review of A Day At The Zoo  
Review by Adherennium
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Superbly silly. What a fun read this is. Especially good were the monkey poop, and honest poltician nonsense. Good job you didn't try to pass that last off as real, it would have destroyed the illusion that this is a real record of your day at the zoo. In conclusion, I loved this, thanks for brightening my day.
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Review by Adherennium
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Great entry about some wonderful musicians and their music. All the different facts made this a very readable and quite fascinating article.

Did you know that 'While My Guitar Gently Weeps' was used as the title of a book?

http://www.trashfiction.co.uk/while_my_guitar_gent...

I've read both that and it's follow up, both are excellent. I even met the author once, he was a really lovely person.
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Review of Empty Nest  
Review by Adherennium
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Garden paths indeed, how I was led! I loved how misleading this short piece is. It seemed that it was going to be dark, maybe even very dark, but I'm afraid nothing had prepared the causal reader for the horrors of dirty laundry. This is a great example of how much can be achieved with very few words, artfully arranged. Thank you for the chortle and the smile.
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Review by Adherennium
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Having read this post, I then followed the link and read all of the '4 Études written in November'. Your words convey, (to me), a melancholy mood, which is reflective and inward looking. Each sentence suggests self awareness, and accumulated wisdom. The final part, which this posting reproduces communicates a little of that wisdom. Nothing seems laboured, economically you describe the day, and then the mystical significance of the leaping frog. Taken as a whole, I found this a fascinating work.
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Review of Summer Rhyme  
Review by Adherennium
Rated: E | (5.0)
Parfait. As one who has danced thus, your poem is exquisite, the rhymes exemplary, and you convey the mood and the joy of the dance perfectly.
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Review by Adherennium
Rated: E | (5.0)
Ooh I like this so much. Saw it in my 'Online Authors' list, and how could I resist. You rhymed 'stance' with 'extravagance', which is sublime. Nonsense maybe, but skilfully played, like the best sports, bravo Sir, an excellent poem.
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Review of CABRITO  
Review by Adherennium
Rated: E | (5.0)
Your short story is told as a recollection of a childhood event. It is told in a very natural and realistic manner, explaining who everyone is and how they matter to the protagonist. I could easily imagine the horror that he or she experienced upon opening the oven, and that it would create a lasting memory and an aversion to cabrito.

One suggestion I would like to put forward is that you split the paragraph that begins 'I was eight years old and life was great.' It is a little long, and I had to read the middle twice to understand what it meant to say. I'd start a new paragraph at 'Gramma Cata, my father's mother...'

This particular sentence 'And this day was no different. Aunt Cleatis, my father's sister, Uncle Richard and their five kids had loaded up their car and driven to Corpus after work on a Friday evening to spend the weekend an pick up my Gramma Cata.' I would consider splitting as well, perhaps like this:

'And this day was no different. Aunt Cleatis, my father's sister, Uncle Richard and their five kids had loaded up their car and driven to Corpus after work on a Friday evening. Corpus is where we lived, and they were going to spend the weekend with us, and then take my Gramma Cata back with them.'

Only a suggestion though.

I really enjoyed reading this, and I learned what cabrito is.
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