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That's an interesting concept...meeting someone here...managing to screw it up bigtime (or, at least, screwing it up enough to make the relationship too much to handle)...eventually, getting reborn and meeting again to do things better.
There's an entire romantic story in there somewhere, imo.
This is because there's this same sense of something being passed from the elder to the younger.
Usually, what gets talked about being passed along are either positive traits or else neutral-but-known traits.
At times, though, a trait that's not so good gets handed down, as is shown in this song where the son ends up being like his dad in the way of being too busy for the people and things that really matter in life...
Interesting...I'm not sure what I am. I think I'm a teacher. Anyway, it certainly describes what I find on forums many times in some places. Here at WDC, I find the forums to be pretty civil.
I can turn into the princess from time to time when needed--such as when a couple of people who, obviously, didn't know what to do with themselves wrote comments at YouTube calling this one little girl who was dancing on this tape ugly and untalented. I told them both that their babysitters would catch them on their Mommies' computers soon and put them back in their playpens.
Those three word-pictures of your grandma tell so much-beautifully painted with your keystrokes!
Reading this poem makes me want to know more about your grandma and the life she lived, so I'm going to look in your port to see if you have more to offer...
It reminds me of the people leading up to me and how I want to make them proud, as they're passed their batons on to me!
Although I've never had children of my own, I've been a second parent to many, and I'm always happy to hear from them how I've been a good influence on them.
This young brave is having that wonderful feeling of sensing parts of his grandpa in him!
A beautifully-told story!
One more thing...be sure to follow the rules of the contest that say you need to include information at the bottom of the page that it's 99 words long.
One thing that we need to keep in mind is that, in their own special way, the Natives were already Christianized.
Some people, to this day, believe that, when they refer to "The Great White Spirit," they're referring to some kind of god that looks like a white man.
But they called the white men palefaces.
I believe that "The Great White Spirit" they refer to was actually pure white in color--Remember the transformation of Jesus up on the mountain? Think about how people who have near-death experiences will, more times than not, see a beautiful, white light!
The spirit of Jesus surely must have appeared to these Natives to where they'd experienced The Real McCoy and whatever this Christopher Columbus character was about to offer them was just a piddling portion of what they already knew when it came to faith!
Yet, Christopher Columbus meant well.
Anything he might have done was done out of ignorance--but to act the same today with what we know would be an act of wilfulness that would crucify Jesus all over again!
I loved how you were able to capture so much of the story in 99 words!
I'm writing this journal about happy stuff, and it's called "Invalid Item" . This story is so beautiful that I'm going to write about it as an entry. I'm also going to make up another book for featuring meaningful reads and will share it there, too. The book for featuring meaningful reads (which I haven't made yet) will be going on this special website http://www.freewebs.com/iynvoice/.
In short, this beautiful story is going to be going far, as I also have a soft spot for those special angels like Jimmy!
Thanks for sharing this beautiful!, Beautiful!!, BEAUTIFUL!!! story!!!
The enclosed GPs are for 100 raffle tickets, and the rest is to keep you Costumicon-ed for a good while!
Since I've always had a minimum of a Premium membership here, I have no idea how much they cost and haven't found any information on that yet.
Even better idea: If you've gotten GPs from this gift and gifts of others to upgrade your membership to a Premium, spend it on getting one of those. Then, you can have a constant Costumicon-getting privileges plus other perks!!!
I believe that God isn't answering your prayer to take away painful memories in the affirmative because He believe that you need to remember them in order to better have empathy as well as sympathy for those invisible youth we're reaching out to.
Yvonne, I'm not sure if this is what you meant when you wrote this poem or not, but it came across to me that the iron child, Tricia, and Veronica were all different parts of your personality--like different moods--but they were all tired of making up the complications in your life and just wanted to play.
It's like you're saying that, when there's nothing you can do to change your situation at the moment, the best thing to do is to simply have--as the prayer of serenity says--the serenity to accept the things you can't change.
So you simply bloom where you're planted--you play!
Anyway, that's how I interpret this poem, so I'd be interested in hearing your interpretation.
Such a beautiful poem inspired by such an ugly war--as if there ever has been such a thing as a pretty war.
Did you also take that beautiful photograph?
In a way, this song reminds me of Our National Anthem, because both your poem/song and The Star Spangled Banner speak of comforting sights and sounds in the midst of turmoil and uncertainty.
I could imagine Randy Travis, Lee Greenwood, or Garth Brooks singing these words if put to a melody. I can also imagine the late greats, Tex Ritter, Red Sovine, Johnny Cash or Lorne Greene, reciting this poem to a background of empowering music.
In short, this is simultaneously powerful, empowering, and beautiful!
I'm a staunch supporter of the work of "Invalid Item" and will be making a link to this poem over at both our online community and the shout box that's part of our organization's website!
There are several more places where I'd like to share this urgently-meaningful message painted so well with your words!
I remember this poem--and I remember my impressions when I read it for the first time, and they haven't changed:
Somehow, the very tossing and turning rhythm of this poem paints a portrait of this child's reality--somebody living life as if blown about like a brittle fallen leaf in a storm or a piece of driftwood in a choppy, frothy, angry sea.
But this child is an iron child and not one to crumble as a leaf might or to splinter like a piece of driftwood.
This child (you) was then and is now a survivor!
This child (another child like you) will become stronger and more iron like because you and people like you are making a difference in her/his life!!!
It sounds to me as if this young man were "invisible" without anyone realizing it before it was too late.
I'm going to be sharing this poem with our IYN group as a reminder that it's so important for kids to feel accepted so that they'll know that they're going to be loved no matter what.
It doesn't matter if they're gay/lesbian; if they're pregnant/have gotten somebody pregnant; don't want to go to the college you'd hoped he/she would want to go to; got ditched by that special person; or whatever else might make him/her believe he/she would be better off dead and everybody else would, too.
Invisible youth don't always live without a roof over their heads, and they don't always go out with a bang like the two young men who went on a killing spree at Columbine did. Some, like this young man, go out with a whimper...
The only thing this poem needs to make it complete is a greeting card with a beautiful photograph on which to place it!
I'd love to know more about your late niece who inspired this poem. Perhaps, I'll find what I'm looking for in your portfolio--if not now, hopefully, soon...
I think that Will has wisdom beyond his years. I'm wondering what the story is behind his poem.
It sounds to me as if he's talking in the voice of either a homeless person or else somebody who doesn't have a very nice house but wants to be accepted in spite of this but hardly believing that he will be.
Very well-written and moving story! I have goosebumps on my goosebumps! I wouldn't be surprised to find out that the setting for this story was Tennessee where they have that ridiculous TennCare.
You covered a lot of problems that exist in health care today--including age discrimination, giving up on people before it's time to, etc. but you do so by painting a very poignant word picture instead of simply writing an editorial!
You really know how to come up with interesting In & Outs! So glad that I discovered you!
I'll be back to check out more of your work later, but I had to share this one with anyone who might like to check it out--and, hopefully, come up with some creative names for businesses that don't generate business!
This is a cool idea! I think that the only reason that it hasn't caught on is that it needs exposure. Just wait until I post this as a public review! I could be wrong, but I have the feeling that there won't be any shortage of messages in bottles around here!
This is such a powerful poem that I'm tempted to go even higher in my rating of it to 4.5. In fact, for power and message, it's already a perfect five.
So, why the four?
For one thing, you didn't follow through on the description given.
It would be better, perhaps, to name the poem Society and have the description being something along the lines of Things that are wrong with modern society
You also need to go back to correct several misuses and misspellings of words.
Let me know when you have done this, and I'll come back to present you with a higher ration.
Anyway, it's an excellent poem! Welcome to our neighborhood!
If this war ended in the next five minutes, it would still be too long for me! I feel for and admire those who have gone off to fight this war as well as people such as yourself who are keeping the homefires burning. God bless all of you!
I gave you five stars, because I think you express yourself so well and so heartfelt--but I want you to go back and proofread this poem, because you've made some typos. They are easy enough to fix, so read it over and see if you find them. Let me know. If you can't find them, I'll send you a copy of the poem with proofreading and editing done.
If he's not due to leave until November or December, it just might be that they'll be sending more troops home by then than they are sending them there so that he'll end up not having to go. I hope that this is the case, because this war has gone on far too long.
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