Title:
Author: HollyMerry 
Plot:
Aira and Boroden meet after a long time apart, wondering if the other was still alive. Boroden wants to stay with Aira, but he cannot since Midhir’s warriors might be close behind him. As he leaves, an army of brownies marches by but Aira remains hidden behind the tree. Someone puts a hand on her shoulder.
Only one issue I noted for the plot. I mentioned it below, but didn’t King Midhir close the portal between the human world and the fairy world? In this chapter, it is still open allowing Airen to return. Did I miss something?
Also, why did Boroden chose to land in the exact spot where Aira was hiding? He had not seen her yet and he had not expected to meet the brownie army, either.
Characters:
No new characters in this chapter. Boroden doesn’t introduce Aira to Blackthorn?
Voice:
There was one head-hop from Aira to Boroden and I made a note of it in my comments below.
Setting:
Aira is walking along a hedgerow with many flowers, near the portal. When she meets Boroden, the scene switches to a gully.
JMHO:
I guess I’m a little confused at the switch from the battle scene at the end of the last chapter, to the serenity of Aira stopping to smell the flowers. It seems like none of the conflict with Midhir’s minions battling the brownies, but Airen using his own magic to help them escape made it over into this chapter, except when the leader of the brownie army tells Boroden to keep moving since Midhir’s warriors are behind them. But listen to what other authors are saying. Maybe it’s clear to them. It would NOT be the first time I got confused by something that is very easy for others to comprehend. 
Comments/Suggestions:
I made some suggestions and comments below, but remember they are my humble opinion only. Take what suggestions you like and ignore the rest. This is your story!
Aira imagined she would see him emerging from the faerie portal soon, arriving late but with full bags of coins to pay the tithe of the brownie village. She hoped that Midhir might allow the brownies that worked in Tullochgorm Castle to continue living in their village without trouble.
Until Airen returned to take the glamour that she carried for him, Aira left the gateway into the faerie world and made the most of the opportunity of exploring the meadow near the human castle, safe in the knowledge that humans could not see her after she had taken a sip of the precious liquid.
[Wasn’t the gateway closed by Midhir in the last chapter, trying to prevent the brownies from escaping?]
Aira dashed along the hedge bank not minding that the hem of her patchwork dress was drenched with diamonds of dew or that many of the petals fell from her bouquet in her haste. Breathlessness caught at her throat, [Consider: “Her breath caught in her throat, as she stopped…”]
From the corner of her eyes, she thought she spotted something. Looking up, she spotted a dark shape in the sky near the gateway to Midhir’s kingdom. At first, she feared it was an eagle or a buzzard. Her heart knelling [Is this the correct word here?], she scanned the bushes for a good place to shelter.
[A buzzard isn’t a bird of prey. It is a scavenger. Would it pose a threat to Aira?]
He turned and met Aira’s gaze. For a young warrior he gave her an unexpectedly shy smile. He seemed all the nicer, she thought, for his shyness.
The youth jumped round as if he expected to be attacked. Relief settling his features, he bowed his head in a courteous gesture.
[Why is Boroden surprised? He’s already seen her and smiled at her, so he is not unaware of her presence.]
Sorrow etched upon his face, Boroden opened his arms to her and said softly, ‘I’m so sorry. Come here Aira.’ He hugged her, and she sensed that he needed the comfort of their rekindled friendship as much as she did. It was a beacon of hope amongst the hardships she had faced in the dark times since Velmoran was lost.
[I thought they would have hugged by now. At least right when they recognized each other. They are close friends, right? JMHO.]
Aira pulled a handful of cherries from her bag. ‘Before you journey on, would you like these that I’ve collected? They’re the first cherries this year. I know cherries they are your favourite fruit.’
[Suggestion just to avoid repeating words.  ]
‘I’ll gladly take them. I haven’t eaten all day, and after yesterday…’ Though he attempted to hide it, Aira’s keen eyes noticed pain and sorrow flicker across her friend’s face.
[This is a head-hop from Aira to Boroden. She cannot know that he is trying to hide something from her unless she can read his mind. Perhaps: “ Aira’s keen eyes noticed pain and sorrow flicker across Boroden’s face as if he was attempting to hide something from her.”]
A hand clapped down on her shoulder. Heart lurching, she whipped round to face her captor.
[How does she know it is a captor? Maybe it is another brownie wondering why she is hiding behind the tree?]
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| (4.0)
| (4.5)
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