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8 Public Reviews Given
8 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of My Wife  Open in new Window.
Review by Thaddeus Ansch Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Truthfull- too much exposition, It could do with more action based exploration; by that I mean
-Dialogue
-Tense scenes like seeing a specifically odd decidious tree that sets up somehting
-interior monologue
-etc. There're other ways of going about it look it up

Your action scenes could use some work- structure wise it's fine- try some of Stephen King's works, it reads well like in the Gunslinger
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Review by Thaddeus Ansch Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
I have to say, a good effort but could use a lot of plot doctoring, Try learning the three act structure or going through with this. It could work though with some effort
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Review of The Journey  Open in new Window.
Review by Thaddeus Ansch Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
The concept is good, the flow is alright I guess, but I would suggest a few things: changing the tone to match the scene, it could use a major edit there especially in the beginning. And on craft- there are some methods like in the scene: "I was knocked off the boat by cannonfire" this could be done with something like I was told to have fallen somehow; all I had to tell were the shrapnel dug in my skin.
Some of the theme was a bit in your face like Samantha's boat headed towards the storm, but that can easily be fixed with something more subtle like a fog and a few boats being separated from yours, except in the end you saw the guys in those other boats with one exceptions. When you asked the others where she went. They'd look away or something more realistic and less obvious


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
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Review by Thaddeus Ansch Author IconMail Icon
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
I like the tone and the theme, it could belong in an anthology but I have to say, it could be well to do if written longer.
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5
Review of Darwin's Choice  Open in new Window.
Review by Thaddeus Ansch Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (3.5)
Overall flow is good, just a bit of fleshing out of characterization though.
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Review of A Starry Night  Open in new Window.
Review by Thaddeus Ansch Author IconMail Icon
Rated: E | (4.5)
Maintains a good sweet atmosphere :)
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Review by Thaddeus Ansch Author IconMail Icon
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hmm, Good call- but a little more on the origins of the rock.
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