I enjoyed reading "Paybacks". I liked the beginning where you wrote:
The moon, fat and yellow as a summer squash rose languidly in a late August sky. Summer squashes have a pretty color to them. I can picture the moon having this color and being fat just lying back enjoying the beauty.
It was interesting that the castle was made of sand and the walls fell back into the sea as the scuttling hermit crab greeted the waters rushing food within his clawed grasp as he went sideways, traveling about wondering at the small creature that was caught up in his pincher. The moon smiled at this.
I surely enjoyed your story. This story is a fantasy of something like I would write. It didn't say at the end if Daniel got the contract or not, but I'm thinking that it did.
It was so sweet of Cindy to say that regardless of whether he had gotten a contract for the Robot Minder or not, that she still loved him. Her encouragement of even if he didn't make the contract, that there was always next year.
Thank You for writing this wonderful story. This story sure did make my day.
I am going to give you 200 Gift Points for writing such a beautiful story.
Even though this story is about an assassin, which in not a favorite topic of mine, it was well written. I encourage you to keep writing.
It shows in the story that Andrea was so angry at Liam that she had orders to do away with Liam, along with three other interpol agents that followed him there, all because of the bad remarks made by Liam. It's too bad that she had killed four people altogether because of one night gone wrong.
This was an interesting contest entry and the subject for the prompt was indeed interesting.
Teenage love can be a difficult one. You want to meet the right person (there are many possibilities out there), but the first thing to look for is friendship. Some people choose not to marry because they just haven't met the right match (this process could take a long time), however, sometimes you have to take a risk and just go for it, ask that special someone in your life if they would like to marry you. If you fail to do so, you may have missed the one person who is very much in love with you and that both of you could have found the happiness that you so richly deserve.
Take care of yourself and stay safe.
Don't let the opportunity of genuine love pass you by.
Keep on Writing; you've done a great job!
Anna Marie Carlson
I'm sending you 100 Gift Points for a job well done. I'm hoping that you've won the contest.
This was a very moving love story. I'm glad that you had a friend who loved you no matter what; he only wanted you to be happy. I know that you were scared to see Steven, but I'm very glad that it turned out to be a happy ending.
I know someone who is gay that, even though we think differently on this kind of lifestyle, we are still friends. I am sorry that you had to go through all the pain and suffering that you had to go through.
Keep on writing; you have a nice flow with words.
I am going to give you 100 Gift Points; I hope that this will encourage you to write.
Hello, Elisa-Stik Stuck Inside!
G
You have put a lot of thought into this story. I can relate so much to what you have said.
I grew up in a Quaker church where I have learned so much. Our values have been torn up by those who don't have faith or think that the Bible was just a book that someone has written. The morals that I was taught helped to live a better life. There are times when it's hard to live up to everything that the Lord wants us to do, but I try to live as close to God and Jesus as possible. I have made some mistakes, but I do the best that I can to correct them.
It can be a lonely place out there when so many people refuse to believe in a loving God.
You have done a good job in writing this story and I encourage you to keep on writing.
I am going to give you 100 Gift Points; I hope that this will give you some encouragement.
I scored 2 out of 8; I pretty much lost the battle, but that doesn't mean that I've given up; I'll get up and try again some other time. This was an interesting quiz. Keep up the good work.
I haven't looked into the history yet, but yes, I did pretty bad. I will not give up. I will try again some other time. It was nice to have a quiz about it though.
This is such a beautiful poem. Sometimes you need to take a leap of faith. I can fully understand why both of the characters in the poem were afraid to take that leap of faith after being hurt. Sometimes you just need to take that leap of faith; perhaps if they both took that leap, they both may have found each other.
This is the first time that I have reviewed a newbie; you did a very good job; it sounded professional to me.
My name is Anna Marie Carlson and I totally enjoyed reading 📖 your poem entitled, "Conscience for sold!'
I agree that your conscience can 🥫 get lost and your innocence crushed when you don't take time ⌚ to listen 👂 to that inner voice that tells you that you shouldn't do something. There's a reason that you weren't meant to be at a certain place; you could have been an innocent victim of something that had occured.
I liked the last paragraph that read: You need to set yourself free
From all the existential world's worry
That's how you will get the Lord's adjacency
And become in list whom the Lord's agree.
I want to encourage you to keep on writing. You're doing great!
October chills have filled the air
The scent of pumpkin is everywhere
Spiced lattes warm the coldest ❤ hearts
Making tingling happen in all their parts
I think of lattes because they are so good. When the October chills hit, having a nice warm latte would make me feel good. My whole body would tingle all over with joy.
The part that reads:
Smiling faces greet them all
Bring out the treasures and sample fall
Pancakes, soups, stews and crackers
It's all about to drive us bonkers.
This would bring a smile to my face for sure. It would drive me bonkers to try all this out because there would be so much to sample.
I enjoyed reading 📖 this. It was very descriptive. Keep on writing. This took me back a few years.
Empty screen, no emotions,
But there's a painted smile,
Which truly hides what's inside;
Selfishness, greed and guile.
This shows that behind a painted ☺ is someone who is ❄, with not a care in the world, but only thinks of themselves, and the only thing on their mind is money. It shows a blank picture of their life on a screen; it must have been a sad life.
The part that reads:
If my cunning thoughts were to
Be displayed on my face,
I'll lose reputation
And my beauty and grace!
This would show a very mean person who was beautiful, but because of hard thoughts 💭, even though they were of good status in the community, they would lose their reputation and would look ugly on the outside and their mannerism's would fall by the wayside.
This is a good portrait of someone who would want to take their life and turn it from something beautiful into something ugly.
I thought that this was very well written and descriptive.
A cherished awakening
Crystal blue skies and the shimmering sun
Towering above the brisly cool, enchanted morning;
A pleasant and glorious day beckons with its
triumphant scenes and miraculous wonders.
High in the heavens resides the scattered and billowy
clouds
Whose gratifying appearance can excite the fondest of
imaginations; Uniquely puffy and well-formed shapes
Moving lazily in some dream-like direction,
Reminding us so of many fantastic creatures and things.
It's so wonderful that someone has the same interest in cloud formations as I do. This takes me back to the year 2006, in the month of July, when I lost my mother. For a whole year after that, perhaps a bit longer, I would see a cloud 🌥 formation of my dad and mom lying down with their heads together looking down on me with a ☺. This showed me that they were approving of what I was doing down here on earth.
I have noticed a lot of different animal shapes in the clouds as well.
Clouds can also get to the point of breaking, sending a lot of water in a short time, which can be depressing sometimes.
I enjoyed the prose. Keep up with your writing, as I'm sure that it will enjoyed by others.
This is a sad poem, yet it ends up being forgiving. The part that reads: Ensnared by the adjacent streets and roads to life's innocence and often vacated resolve the dam bursts so quickly as our inconsolable grasp fails to withstand the pressure of these mighty lakes and rivers.
When a dam breaks, a lot of innocent lives get lost. Lakes and rivers have a lot of pressure behind them and there's no way to escape once that happens.
The last part reads: Leading to the highly sought-after and uniquely treasured love we seek offering its forgiving and saintly path to freedom, light, and hope, into the future and beyond.
It's sad to see loved ones go when a tragedy such as this happens, yet it's nice to know that there is a heaven where they are forgiven, and their lives can lead on into the future, never to be forgotten. They are eternally loved in heaven.
This must have been hard to write, but I'm glad that there is freedom, light, and hope in that.
Keep on writing; it's good to get thoughts out on paper that you're willing to share with others.
I use to think I was without a doubt emphatically certain that survival was my right the soul responsibility of life a divinely given right that I had to do whatever it took to protect and for a time I did without regard for anyone or anything other than myself.
I like the style of writing that you have chosen to write this poem.
I can relate to this poem in ways that I wanted to protect my mind from thinking wrongly of someone (assuming that I knew what they were thinking, when I really didn't).
You expressed yourself well by stating that your method of survival was that of thinking only of yourself, not caring what anyone else thought. That's okay, as long as it doesn't hurt someone, especially when it wasn't their intent to do so.
Keep on writing, and hopefully, your thoughts will be a bit better next time around.
I enjoyed reading your poem, "Make People Do." I like the style that you had written your poem in.
The part that reads: The sum of the game
The weight of the shame
A burdensome effect
Set to well-crafted music
Listen in peace
As parts of you die
I can relate to this in ways that a lot of people don't seem to understand. I think that something goes right, like music, and then my heart would get broken, leaving me feel dead inside.
The part that reads: An observer of freaks
I see what they repeat
I know the games they play
The lives they dare betray
I see them slowly walking along
Caution is their theme song
It is kind of spooky at times when I see things happen over and over again, taking caution (a sneakiness that they try to get by with without getting caught). I thought that this was good also.
The part that reads: Make people do
What exactly
I'll leave that up to them
And thus up to you
I'll only transpose what is seen
By me way out here
Beyond all that they could
And are comfortable with...
I encourage you to keep writing. The poem was good.
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