I am not a professional reviewer, but I will do my best to give you a nice review.
I enjoyed your story, "Twin Flame" about the experience you have with your lady friend of how much she means to you. Being that I'm not an professional reviewer, I would change the wording a little bit to make it easier reading. I would suggest that you check with someone who is experienced in this area.
I want to encourage you to keep writing. From reading your story, I can tell that she is special to you. This would make an excellent story. This shows a kind-hearted person who is devoted to the woman he loves.
I am not a professional reviewer, but I will do by best to give you a review that you will be happy with.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your script play. The comedy was fantastic; it reminded me of myself; I'm my own worst critic. I rewrite things over and over again until I'm satisfied with what I've written. There have been times when I'm a bit leary of sending something in because I may feel that it's not good enough, but, rather than give up on it, I send it in. I end up being happy with the reviews I get, listen to what they have to say, and work on trying to improve.
I want to encourage you to keep on writing; I believe you have the potential to be a comedic writer. If you can be your own worst critic and be able to laugh about it afterwards, then you've got it made.
You can overcome the criticism by believing in yourself. Take a chance and turn in what you've written and see what happens. You can be surprised by the results.
I look forward to reading more of your material. You can do this.
I am not a professional reviewer, but I will do my best to do a good review for you. In paragraph one, you wrote something glowed the way a shadow glows on a photographic was a good description that caught my attention.
In paragraph two, canopy of a giant tree was a phrase that sounded good.
Paragraph three talked about where your story took place, which was in Central America. It mentioned cocoa farm in the valley, next day we would head to the Pacific coast.
Paragraph four showed action - Papa drove a small Suzuki along the curving mountain roads and through a rolling green landscape that reminded me of the shire in the Hobbit. It also mentioned, Sat in back with my sister Nicola, who was nine. narrowly avoiding oncoming trucks on several one lane bridges.
I can picture the stepmother in paragraph five the fear she was feeling when you wrote, my stepmother screamed at each turn. She would shout, "Watch out", or "Careful" at every bus, low shoulder or hole in the road. my sister could predict a screen was abiyt ti cine abd wgusoerm "Cover your ears".
Overhead hung a giant flower like something out of Jurassic Park, a greenish yellow chandelier with a cluster of thick tubular petals around a smooth purplish cone.
I encourage you to keep writing. You use good descriptions in your story that someone would like to continue reading.
I am not a professional reviewer, but I will try my best to give you a good review.
I enjoyed reading your article entitled, "Why People Gain Weight". Gaining weight is bad for your health, and there are many reasons why people gain weight. One reason would be because of depression. If this was the case, the person who is overweight doesn't want to hear from people negative comments about their weight, because they already know that they're overweight, and to put them down only makes matters worse; they tend to want to eat more. What they need is encouragement and caring to help them get the motivation to lose weight. My own experience has been that I gained weight because I overate. That was my fault, but getting encouragement from others with a caring attitude helps to get the drive to want to do something about it. I am overweight and its hard to take the pounds off.
I thought that your article was great. I want to encourage you to keep writing. Believe in yourself and pat yourself on the back for doing such a good job.
I am not a professional reviewer, but I will do my best to do a good review for you.
First and foremost, I would like to encourage you to keep writing. As a writer, you will receive many rejections before you get the publishing company that will like your story. It's easy to become doubtful when you find that there are people that don't like what you're writing, but, cheer up. Once you get the courage to publish your story, you may find that there are people out there who can benefit from hearing how you have overcome an obstacle in life or having a good imagination for writing a great story.
I was afraid to write about myself, but it was something that I wanted to do. Finally, I decided that I would get my story out there. If I didn't do that, I wouldn't know if I had the potential to become a writer.
Try not to be discouraged by what other people think. Believe in yourself. You can do this. Don't throw away something that you enjoy. I hope that you will continue to pursue your dream. Keep up the good work, and don't doubt yourself.
I am not a professional reviewer, but I will give it my best shot at reviewing, "The Girl that Lived in a Closet" for you.
This was a sad story that was well written. The girl that lived in the closet was a teenager that used to be free-spirited, yearning for fun and excitement, and wanted to experience new things, even if they were beyond her maturity and comprehension. She was someone who was content and happy in live.
Then, something happened in her life that caused her to isolate herself into a closet. No one noticed that she was gone or even called for her. She was very depressed because she wouldn't come out of the closet, except when she needed to go to the bathroom. She stayed for two more weeks in the closet; it didn't say how long prior to that that she was hiding in the closet, but could tell that it was for quite a while.
When she came home, she was broken and had no desire for life. This is when she needed someone the most. Depression can do that for someone, leaving them feeling a loneliness that no one understands but themself. Sometimes, they know that they are feeling sad, but don't know what is causing the sadness themself.
The girl that lived in the closed suffered a loss. It could be due to a death of someone close to her, or having a difficult time dealing with the pressures of life. If she could start journaling, then, perhaps, this could bring her out of depression.
I can relate to this story because I have been in this situation when my mother passed away. My family dropped me cold and couldn't understand why.
I encourage you to keep writing. Hopefully, the girl who lived in a closet can find the happiness that she so deserves.
I am not a professional reviewer but I will do the best that I can to review your writing of "That Chair There".
I throughly enjoyed reading your story. It sounds to me that being a kid was hard to do what you were supposed to do. I have heard time and time again that you should listen to your mother, but as teenagers or younger, we tend not to do that. As kids, we tend to feel guilty for doing the wrong thing. In this case, your mom was happy with that chair. It was comfortable for her.
Sometimes, we get put on restriction or get punished for not listening to our mother's. Hopefully the kid in this story didn't have to suffer anything bad as a consequence for their actions.
Remember next time to listen to your mother, however sometimes the kids could be right. It does pay to listen to your mother.
I hope that this helps.
I am going to send you 400 Gift Points for doing such a great job on your story. I encourage you to keep on with your writing. Have a great day.
I would like to be considered for a promotion. I may have a ways to go before getting there, but if I qualify to be a preferred author, I would love it.
My name is Anna Marie Carlson and I am doing this review on "Love Story" for my "Rising Stars" class.
This is a sad story, but yes, I can totally relate to your story. To find that the love of your life tells you that he loves you, you believe him, only to find out that he didn't mean what he said. Yes, even though I don't like to swear, Damn him sounds appropriate.
I enjoyed reading your story. I want to encourage you to keep writing. Your description of how you felt about this guy who broke your heart after you made love. I liked how you referred to vampires as being linked to death, and how it compares to losing someone who broke your heart. Which one would be would you risk more? You chose the love who broke your heart. I would've chosen the same thing.
I am going to send you some Gift Points for doing such a fine job. I hope that this will brighten up your day.
My name is Anna Marie Carlson and I am going to do an anniversary review for you from the "Rising Stars" class. I will do the review for "This world has already ended."
It is sad to think that the world has already ended because of a virus and the war. Even though we are living through this now, we need to have hope that we can live in a better world. I know it's hard to see the world in the shape it's in, especially when we remember the way things used to be.
It appears that you were going through depression when you wrote this poem. I know what it's like going through depression; I've been there. I hope that things are going better for you now. Your poem speaks a lot about what's going on (very descriptive). I encourage you to keep writing; you can do it. Lift your head up and look at the sky and remind yourself that things will get better even though it doesn't look like it right now. Hang in there.
I am going to send you some gift points. I hope that they will brighten up your day.
I am doing an anniversary review for you. Congratulations on your 17th year with Writing.Com. I am doing a review for you for the "Rising Stars" class.
I wasn't sure what to expect from the title of your story, "Wilting Sun Tavern - First Draft." I am not a drinker myself. I noticed the names of some dishes in your story; the first dish was called, "Roasted Hasmock"; I don't know what hasmock is, but it sounded interesting.
The character, Narva, blew out some purple smoke; this sounded interesting to me since I like the color purple.
I found the story interesting to read. I think that you deserve a five-star rating.
Let me re-introduce myself. My name is Anna Marie Carlson and I am doing this review from the "Rising Stars" class.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your poem, "It's A Life" which includes a dog. It's interested how you mentioned what's involved in the life of a dog. At the end of your poem, the dog 🐶 really didn't care as long as you rubbed its belly. It's like raising a child; a dog is an animal that brings much joy. It reminds me talking to a toddler; at the end the toddler just wanted some attention by getting a hug, kiss, or a gentle rub. After all, a toddler gets a lot of no responses (For example: No, No, No, you can't do that. The child 🧒 begins to cry because it doesn't understand why he/she is always getting into trouble. When they get the attention, they are smiling again being happy with the world).
My name is Anna Marie Carlson. I am doing a review for you from the "Rising Stars" class.
This story is sad because you had lost a very dear friend that you have known since the age of six. It is hard to do things in life without a friend that you had a lot of fun with growing up.
Your story talks about a father, who instead of reading a newspaper, read books to the kids. It's nice to know that there was no memory of any accidents with the dogs that caught fireworks in their mouths; this would've left a devastating mark as a young child knowing that a favorite pet had died.
I had a friend who had polio as well, who also passed away.
I'm glad that your friend had a happily married life and had kids, even when told not to, grew up to be good kids.
I enjoyed reviewing your story; sometimes, sharing a memory of someone who had passed on, helps to have a good memory to share.
I enjoyed looking over your portfolio and the things that you have put into it. I found it to be very interesting. Thank You for accepting me as a friend on facebook and messenger. I hope that you had a great week and will have a nice weekend. You and I will figure out the crossword puzzle soon. With a little bit of faith, we can move mountains.
Just stopping in to say hi. I would welcome you to visit my Guestbook entitled, "Anna Marie Carlson's Guestbook." Feel free to read my material anytime and to give a review when your schedule permits.
I have enjoyed your encouragement and support in the "Rising Stars" class and hope to continue onward as friends when the class is over.
I hope that you are having a great day!
I am still struggling with getting the crossword puzzle finished.
This is a wonderful opportunity. My goal is to be able to write a book of poems, poetic stories (my own category), and short stories. I want to write a story about my life, the obstacles I've overcome, and hope that it can help others. I want to be able to write clearly and simply enough for everyone to understand. I don't know if this costs anything, but I am interested.
This last chapter was said because Larry had hung himself. I noticed that Larry was only 12 years old. The next question would be "What was the cause of his death? Death is hard to deal with no matter what the age of the individual; it's especially hard when the death was because of murder or due to an overdose of drugs.
Bowser Jr. was only five years old. Larry could have been someone he enjoyed playing with. The shock of everybody finding out that Larry was dead must have been a real blow to everyone.
I found out that on New Year's Eve, my second cousin, 33 years of age, was found dead in her apartment. I found out that when her father had gotten the autopsy report that they had found a massive dose of methamphetamines and fentanyl. This news was devasting to us, regardless if she had taken drugs. 33 years is such a young age for someone to lose their life.
Death from suicide and the death of someone so young, especially if you're a mother and you lose your baby is a real tragedy. There are a lot of people who like to say that you have to move on with your life when something like this happens. When you have someone close to you, this is easier said than done. We can always remember the happy times that we've spent with them; this will make it a little bit easier when a loss has occurred. We need to do our best to continue on with our lives; I'm sure that the person who died wouldn't want us to not continue on with our lives.
I encourage you to hang in there; time will heal. Even though it will be a bit rough as you move forward, there will be better days ahead.
When I lost my mother, I remember the good times that we've shared. She didn't let a day go by when she didn't tell me how much she loved me. Even though I miss her dearly, because she had said these things, it eased the pain somewhat.
I hope that what I have said helps you.
Anna Marie Carlson
I am going to send you 50 Gift Points to let you know that I care. I am hoping that this will make your day just a little bit brighter.
I am doing a review for you on your writing "Black". You chose very descriptive words that explained how you felt. I could feel the pain and emotion in all of this.
I encourage you to keep on writing; the more you write, the better you get and the better you get, the better you feel.
I am going to send you 100 Gift Points to show how much I have appreciated reading your story.
I had fun writing for the "What A Character!: Official WDC Contest. It was interesting how I came up with the name of this character as well as the other two. I hope that you will have fun reading this as well. I believe that I have improved on my writing in this story. This was a challenge for me to write.
I enjoyed reading the first chapter of your story (Sample of your unnamed novel). It was interesting that Christy was the eldest of three triplets, the only girl, and didn't resemble her brothers Luke and Axle. Her brothers were extroverted while Christy was introverted. The fact that the whole family, friends, and everyone in the house were werewolves.
Cristy and her dad sat for hours on a boulder reading books. I can relate to that as I enjoy reading.
It will be interesting to know if Christy will turn on her 18th birthday. Also, it was interesting that if they didn't turn when they were 30, they couldn't be a werewolf no matter how hard they wished for it. I wonder how many didn't turn.
I encourage you to continue on with your writing; you have an excellent style.
To show my appreciation, I am going to send you 300 Gift Points.
I thought that the rewriting looked great! I'm not sure what they look for in the rewriting, but I do a lot of rewriting. First, I do free writing, then I go back and look it over to make it better reading. After I once get it written, there are times when I get a different thought to my story and then I write it all over again.
You have given some thoughts to think over in your writing. I believe in the Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. There is one issue that I feel is questionable, and that is in the case of rape. I can feel a woman's pain when this happens. Carrying a child for nine months when it was forced upon them can be quite an ordeal. I believe that it would be murder to take the life of that baby, but if it was a matter between life and death, then I feel that abortion would be appropriate. I feel that a woman should be taken care of to help get her through a pregnancy, and then, because of the trauma that she had to go through, she could decide to adopt it out if she chose to do so. I admire the women who choose to love that baby and raise it; it wasn't the child's fault that they were conceived that way.
As far as having good hygiene during teenage sexual encounters is very important to know. If they are involved in sex, it's important to protect themselves as much as possible.
I am going to send you 100 Gift Points for being the writer of this story to show my appreciation. There are so many things to consider in different situations.
How would a young adult keep confusing him or her self of what life entails? It's no more a secret that the only to meet up with others in this world is having a unique value other's don't have, then you would find it easy to go beyond a far...This would give you an upper hand to boast about yourself and finally while dying at old age, you would mutter to yourself, a life well spent with smile and comfort in the grave...
It's nice to know that you could go to the grave at peace knowing that your life was well spent with smile and comfort. That would be a good way to go.
The second stanza that reads:
the best thing you can achieve that worth your time is IMPACT, your own part that you take in others is the only achievement that worth your time... Loving others and showing care within your own capacity or better still beyond, is the only success that would speak for you after you might have passed away from this Earth...
IMPACT is nice to know that is worth your time on this Earth.
The third stanza reads:
Your time is the only element that places value on you, why? Because you own it all, therefore, you can either misuse it or use prudently, mind you, woe to any man that spends his time unwisely, if he doesn't change from his ways, he would be a waste and liabilities to the present an oncoming generation.
The last stanza reads:
Smiles, look into yourself by yourself and think of something reasonable you can do to help your generation not to increase population (procreation) alone, you are a young adult that has a lot to offer to others, a unique package is what you are, you are a special being some common people need to step up to be unique, when you fail believe that many would fail as well because many success are attached to yours, imagine you now failing your creator.
Excellent writing. Keep it up.
Anna Marie Carlson
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