I am doing a review for one of your pieces entitled, "Under the Starlit Sky". I thought that you did an excellent job of writing about the categories of love/romance, environment, and Spiritual. It's wonderful that you see the love for her in a star. I think that is so beautiful.
The only thing that I could see in your writing was to add an s to appear. I encourage you to keep on writing. I feel that you're off to a good start.
I reviewed your story entitled, "A Bunny's Tale". I loved the rhythm that you had per line. I enjoyed reading this. I thought that "A Bunny's Tale" was well written. I didn't notice anything that I felt needed improvement. In the end, I felt sad for the bunny because he was only passing through for Easter, and then he'd be gone. This was the most challenging part for him. He enjoyed looking at the flowers in springtime. He noticed some baby chicks in a basket; he felt good about that.
I reviewed your story entitled, "A Master of Priorities". The story was interesting about the baseball game and that your wife wouldn't have believed you no matter what you said about being at the game all night. I have to admit that it was sad that your wife had recently passed away after she attended over 15 years with you. I'm glad that she did finally go to the baseball games with you. It's nice to have beautiful memories and am so glad that you felt confident enough to share your story.
Keep writing. I'm truly sorry about the loss of your wife. It's never easy, but if you have some good memories, then it does make it a bit easier.
I am not a professional reviewer. I strive to do my best in helping others to continue with their work. If I see something that needs to be corrected, I give my suggestion on where to go for help; I try to do this in a gentle and caring way.
I'm in hope that you are having an enjoyable day.
Finding love a second time around can be scary. I'm not sure what you mean by saying don't become collected. Are you meaning that you are afraid of repeating the same mistakes?
I went through two marriages that ended in divorce due to a lot of verbal abuse. I try to not let that be a factor in saying that all men are that way; there are some nice men out there. I feel that it's normal to be a bit wary of love the next time around, but if it turns out to be true love, then you've hit the jackpot.
I encourage you to keep on writing. You can help others by sharing your story. It's very brave of you to come out of the box to talk about it.
I am trying to earn enough Gift Points to get a Premium Membership. I would give you some Gift Points and a Merit Badge, but, being that my membership will expire on August 15, 2022, I need to work hard.
I am not a professional reviewer. I read stories and give my input on how they made me feel, and gently offer suggestions on what areas I see that may need improvement.
I enjoy reading stories where the characters can live happily ever after. I thought that it was great that Andrew was approved to date by Esteban the father and Margarita his wife, after seeing that he was a good man. When Aurora was kidnapped by the thieves and treated badly, Andrew was able to go in and rescue her.
Andrew and Aurora became sweethearts, married, and moved to another country where they lived happily ever after.
I encourage you to keep writing; this was a beautiful story.
I would give you some Gift Points and a Merit Badge, but, I am working hard to try and save enough points to earn a Premium Membership. Don't be discouraged by this. I would love for you to be successful in your writing.
I am not a professional reviewer. I can offer my input on what I felt about the story and hope that it will help.
I admire the courage that you have in sharing the story, "Ripples". I can see that you have a special wife that was willing to listen to what you had to say. She was very understanding. This should help you with the abuse that you had as a young eight-year-old kid. Keeping things hidden can cause a lot of pain; sharing it with someone who won't hold it against you can heal these past hurts.
When I was a teenager, my dad had a friend that would get drunk, and sneak upstairs into my room to do some sexual activity. Even though there wasn't any penetration, I stuffed my feelings inside, too scared to tell my mom and dad; you just didn't talk about such things. If my dad would've known what his friend did, no telling what he would've done. I've kept my feelings stuffed inside to the point that it had affected my relationships with guys. Even though it wasn't my fault, in some ways, I believed it was.
When I got older, I thought that I had the experience put behind me, but it had affected me more than I had realized. It still bothers me some today, but thanks to a loving God, I knew that I had been forgiven.
My mother revealed to me when I had gotten older that she had been raped while my dad and my sister took a trip to Sweden. I asked her, "Does this mean that I may have a different dad? She said no. If that had been the case, I wouldn't have tried to find him, because, as far as I was concerned, my dad was my dad. He raised me and he was a good dad.
As painful as your story was to share, you were able to write about it and share it with others. This is remarkable.
I encourage you to keep writing. Any little bit helps to heal the scars.
I am not a professional reviewer. I offer my input on what I liked or didn't like about the story. I do this politely. I want to help the writer improve his/her writing.
I can relate well to your story. I have a schizoaffective disorder. Even though I accepted the fact that I would have to take medications for the rest of my life, there was a stigma of believing that someone was suffering from mental illness. No one believed me when I shared how I was feeling or the experiences I've gone through because of that.
My trauma with the stigma was unbearable. I can only imagine what society has said to you because of your paralysis. I've seen people walk past people who had disabilities or were homeless. Believe me, I can feel your pain. It's been written that sticks and stones make break my bones, but words will never hurt me. This is not true, words do have the power to hurt feelings, emotions, and traumas.
It helped me to have heard your story; it made me feel better knowing that I'm not alone.
I loved the last part of your story that said, "I take back the power you stole from me, I see myself clearly, I forgive myself for ignoring my pain, I give myself all of the love and healing I deserve, You have broken me down, But I built myself back up 100x stronger, I finally found the beauty in the midst of trauma.
Those are beautiful words. I admire that you have found the strength to pick yourself back up. This is difficult to do. I'm glad that you found beauty in the midst of trauma.
I want to encourage you to write. Your words have helped me.
I would like to send you some Gift Points and a Merit Badge, but I'm trying to earn enough points to get a Premium Membership. Don't be discouraged by this. Remain strong and confident. Don't be afraid to be who you are.
I am not a professional reviewer. I learn something new every day. My hope is to offer you my input and that my remarks can be helpful.
I learned something new concerning adhd. I didn't realize that that were different types of adhd. I thought one form of adhd was, for example, repeating the washing of your hands constantly, or another one that someone with adhd was someone who is very hyper; they can't sit still. Thank You for informing me of the different kinds.
I found your article, "Ink has adhd" to be very interesting. I can see why ink would have adhd. Too much ink can drive anyone crazy, especially when it doesn't want to print when you needed it to.
I want to encourage you to keep writing. It opened up my eyes to learn that adhd comes in many forms. This was good information for me. I have a schizoaffective disorder myself.
I would give you some Gift Points and a Merit Badge, but, I am trying to earn enough Gift Points to get a Premium Membership. My membership expires on August 15, 2022.
I am not a professional reviewer. I look for the best in people and like to encourage them by offering hope. To me, this is good medicine.
Wow, what a great story! It would be great if there were more doctors like this one. It's important to listen to what people are saying. I remember when I had a good doctor; at first, he talked way above my head; I didn't know what he was talking about. Then he started to talk more at my level. I felt more at ease when I talked to him after that. He's now retired. He was a great doctor.
I want to encourage you to write more. The man who was dying in the story was right by saying that this doctor had a great gift; the gift of listening.
I would like to give you some Gift Points and a Merit Badge, but I'm trying to save up enough points to get a Premium Membership. My membership expires on August 15, 2022.
I am not a professional reviewer. I can tell you that I enjoyed your story, "Open Your Wings". The mother eagle was happy to have built her nest and come to find out that six little eagles had hatched. Before it was time to be taught how to fly, the mother eagle was ahead of the game. She taught them to run and flap their wings. I could tell that this was a good mother because she taught them how to practice flying. Then, one by one, the little eagles jumped off the nest and began to fly. This was a proud moment for the mother.
When it was time for the last little eagle to fly, it had hurt its wing and was not able to fly again. This didn't hurt the eagle since it had a nice demeanor that it developed. It was being talked into flying by its brothers, but he wouldn't try because it knew better. Then, a brother told it to close its eyes and try. It wasn't long before it discovered that it could fly.
It wasn't that it couldn't fly, but, because of its insecurities, it didn't. When he became more secure, his insecurities vanished.
What a lesson of faith! This eagle was proud of its mother because she never gave up on him.
I encourage you to keep on writing. I'm sure that other people would be moved by this story.
I would like to give you some Gift Points and a Merit Badge, but, I am trying to save enough Gift Points to earn myself a Premium Membership. Don't let this discourage you. Keep strong, keep the faith, and don't give up.
I am not a professional reviewer. I will do my best to give you an excellent review.
I can relate to your story, "The Diary of a Teenager" since I have been laughed at in a classroom after I answered a question the teacher had asked of me. No one should have to go through the humiliation of being laughed at. This is a sure way of making someone feel sad. I have heard cases where teenagers have committed suicide because of being bullied. I feel bad when that happens.
It takes a lot of willpower to be able to share a story about yourself, especially when it's from your own diary.
I encourage you to keep on writing. This is a sure way of making you feel better about yourself because you've shared your story with someone else. This can be helpful to someone else as well.
I would like to give you some Gift Points and a Merit Badge, but I am saving up my points so that I can earn myself a Premium Membership.
Keep Strong. Believe in Yourself. Don't let anyone get you down by the negative things they say.
I am not a professional reviewer, but, I will do my best to give you a lovely review.
I thought that your story, "Illusion at Best" was interesting. It gave me some food for thought. I agree that things have been better in the past than they are today. Things have changed so rapidly that it's very scary.
I want to say that there's always hope. Hope can help us survive most things. I would like to offer more food for thought. I hope that nobody has to starve; they shouldn't have to be homeless. I've been homeless and still don't have a secure place, however, I applied for Section 8 Housing, and I have hope that something will turn up.
It takes a lot of courage to do what you have done and that is that you share your story. Don't get discouraged; I know it's easy to do that.
I encourage you to keep on writing, and, then, one day you can become a Preferred Author.
I would gladly send you a Merit Badge and some Gift Points, but, I'm trying to save up enough points to earn a Premium Membership. My membership expires on August 15, 2022.
Don't let this discourage you. Keep Strong. Have Courage. Have Hope. Things will get better.
I am not a professsional reviewer, but I will do my best to give you a nice review.
With your story, "Discovering the Reason for Living", I can easily feel the pain from others that put you down for the things that you do. I can feel that pain because I have experienced it, and still do in the present.
I've been told by my sister at first that she was happy for me that I've taken an interest in writing. Now, it seems to me that she's not an encourager for me in that anymore. She also treats me like I'm stupid, because I don't get things as quickly as most people. I think that there's some jealousy that she holds against me. She has been a negative influence for me in the things that I want to do. There have been times when she's been helpful to me though.
Sometimes it takes someone you meet, when you realize that they have been through some rough and tough times too. Music and my Spirituality has been an uplifter for me; without that, I would have given up on doing on doing things anyway, regardless if they have a low opinion of me.
I want to encourage you in your writing. It takes a lot of courage to write about these things, and you have done it. I'm proud of you. Tell yourself that you are a good person. Erase all the negativity from your mind, and you find that you don't have to depend on other people's negativity. The important thing to recognize, is that you have value; you are important.
I would send you some Gift Points, but I'm trying to earn enough to eary a Premium Membership for a year. I would like to send you a Merit Badge, but, until I can send a free one, I am not able to do that. Don't let this discourage you. Keep Strong, Be happy, and, most of all, tell yourself that you have worth.
I am not a professional reviewer, but, I will do my best to give you a nice review.
Your writing was very good. I could feel the emotion behind what you had written. It's hard to love someone so much that it's hurtful, especially when they are crushing on other girls.
Writing can take you anywhere you want to go. You can pretend to be in love and have it work out, even though the real thing isn't there.
I think that you have the potential to write a good fictional version of romance. This way, you can have a happy ending no matter what.
I would like to give you some Gift Points and a Merit Badge, but, I'm saving up my points to earn a Premium Membership. My membership expires on August 15,2022.
I wish you the best in your writing. My thoughts are with you.
I am not a professional reviewer, but, I will do my best to give you a nice review.
I thought that you were off to a great start for your poem. No worries. Try writing down some names for titles. Even though you may only come up with one word, write it down and come back to it later. Add another word to it when you think of one. Pretty soon you will stumble upon a good title for your poem, story, etc.
I encourage you to keep writing. Don't give up. Practice makes perfect. You will find that it will get easier the next time.
I am not a professional reviewer, but I will do my best to give you a good review.
It is nice to have a sense of humor, especially when it can be your salvation. I've wondered what it would be like to be a jester. You were lucky that no harm was done when making jokes during the time of war. People are way too serious these day; it can even be dangerous when you've offended someone.
Your writing of, "License to Laugh (295 words) was a well written article. You should keep on writing. Even though I'm not so much one for hearing off color jokes, such as swearing, or hearing things that sound bad, I know that there are others who like to hear that sort of thing. I was glad that you were able to get a good laugh.
I am not a professional reviewer, but, I will do my best to give you a nice review. First of all I would like to welcome you to Writing.Com.
This story you wrote entitled, "Thoughts" was rather sad. Voices repeated in your head constantly belittling, or degrading you, and telling you things that aren't true to make you feel bad about yourself, are really not true, but you believe them anyhow. The best thing I have found when this happens is to talk back to these voices by saying, "I hear what you are saying to me, but I know that I am better than that. I am feeling sad right now, this is true, but I am going to get over this. Tomorrow is another day. It will be a bit better, and continue to get better, because I am going to believe in myself".
I encourage you to keep writing. It's good to get your feelings out there. I admire your courage to let people know what kinds of thoughts go through your head.
I'm hoping that you will feel better and remember that you are a good person who has a lot to offer. Keep telling yourself this. Eventually it will work.
I am not a professional reviewer, but I will do my best to write you a nice review.
Your story gave me some food for thought. I took psychology in my senior year of high school. This is when I read about Sigmund Freud. I get thoughts during the day or night (I call them daydreams), where I get my ideas about something new to write. Yeah, if someone were to interpret my dreams, they could be right on or a little off.
I enjoyed reading your material; it gave something to think about. Sometimes dreams are scary, especially when you find out later that it actually happened.
I would suggest that you find places where you can start a new paragraph. When there's no break in the story, it makes it a little bit harder to read. This is your story and you would know best where to start a new paragraph.
If you need help with this, I would recommend that you get someone that knows what they are doing and can best guide you.
I'm going to give you a five star rating, and I want to encourage you to keep writing.
I am not a professional reviewer, but I will do my best to give you a good review.
As I was reading your story entitled, "Untitled", I was thinking that it was hard for you to write. When Sophia was missing, and they had found that her car door was left open, her purse dumped on the ground, and identifying for sure that there was blood stains. I can imagine all kinds of thoughts going through my head about what had happened.
When Callie felt that she had to do some investigating on her own about
what had happened to Sophia, she remembered that Jason, (Sophia's boyfriend at the time), had accused her of sleeping around with the bar guys. Callie began to question whether she was at fault for Sophia's disappearance.
At the end of the story, Detective Roberts began to suspect her of something, but couldn't put his finger on exactly what it was, he started to investigate.
I thought that the story was well written. There were some places that I thought that some commas were needed, but since I have trouble with that myself, I would recommend that you find out from a professional reviewer.
I am not a professional reviewer, but, I will do my best to give you a nice review.
I don't know much about black holes, but one thing I have heard about them is that they're scary. I wouldn't want to be caught in one.
I picked out a part of your story that I found interesting. You started by saying that a black hole wasn't particularly unique. As black holes went, it was bland. Old. Almost dead.
Another part said, As you said, Time and distance are an illusion. So are we. The ship entered what little atmosphere existed and drove toward the source.
You won't escape, "The whisper taunted him".
Turbulence, Green/Blue/Red contact.
Reset.
I also liked the part where there was lightness rather than darkness.
You were descriptive about what you were telling about black holes in your story.
I want to encourage you to keep writing. I believe that you have more to tell in your story.
Anna Marie Carlson
Using Grammarly, it pointed out that rather than saying In fact, as black holes went, the words in fact should be omitted. After the sentence, As you said, Time and distance are an illusion. So is we, should be changed to So are we.
I am not a professional reviewer, but I will do my best to give you a nice review.
The poem you wrote, "Writing in the Rains", is the most beautiful poem about rain that I've read. I wrote a poem once, entitled, "Liquid Sunshine", where I described that as having sunshine even when it's raining.
I want to encourage you to keep writing. You have a special gift. I hope to be able to read more of your writings in the future.
Hello, H. Marie! I hope that your day is going well.
I am not a professional reviewer, but I will try my best to give you a review that you will be happy with.
I found your poem, "The Golden Rose" to be sad with some amount of positivity in there when you've lost your love.
I liked the word echo that was used in your poem. The last part of your poem which said, when fall let winter slay our golden rose is something that I can relate to. The winter goes by slowly and it can leave you feeling lost when there are no flowers around to bring hope or encouragement to make our days brighter.
I look forward to the spring when the days are brighter and all the flowers are out. It helps us to more cheerier.
I encourage you to keep writing. Writing brings hope and confidence; when dark days come into our lives, just expressing the way you feel in words can work wonders.
We're almost into summer, the flowers are out, and am wishing you the best by bringing back that golden rose.
Anna Marie Carlson
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