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268 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Rate Yourself!  
Review by super sleuth
Rated: E | (4.5)
Each inividual writer has different likes and dislikes.
Some writers prefer free form over verse and rhyme, others prefer the opposite. We are not only rated on content, and meaning. We are also rated on grammer, punctuation and spelling. When many individuals read our work we are rated on their likes and dislikes. One reader may give us a 5 star rating while the next gives us only a 2 or 3 star depending on weather or not what we wrote fits into their criteria of what they like. In rating ourselves, we are either confident in our achievements or unsure of what we know. Sometimes we are better than we think and just need that boost of confidence by a good rating. On the other hand we may think we are better than we really are and need an honest R&R to help put us on the right track. This poll may not seem too important but I suggest everyone take it and vote. To those of you who visit the members ports and read their creations and do not R&R I ask you, why not? You do not need to correct their spelling or punctuation mistakes, but even a one or two word comment is better than nothing.
They would like to hear what you have to say. Did they make you laugh, or cry? Tell them, you won't be sorry. Friendships are founded by a simple word HELLO. Say hello and meet the author. Invite them to come to your house, sit a spell, and read what you have written. You'll be glad you did. In viewing the activity in my own port, only 1 out of every 10 viewers take the time to R&R. That is a lot of lost friendships. Ginger
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Review of The Voice  
Review by super sleuth
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)

I love the way you described and developed your characters. You also must have done a lot of research on cave exploring to write so knowledgably on the subject.

I just loved how you described the following passage, but I feel the words in bold type are unnecessary, and the sentence flows smoother without them.

They followed a large stream for hours under a canopy of Ponderosa Pines. And as night approached, the last of the glow of the sunset waved orange and gold across the face of the mountain like an affectionate farewell.

The following paragraph is a little off.
If the tunnel was narrow he would have to turn sideways
to squeeze through, and not crouch down. Maybe you could use the word shallow in place of narrow.

The tunnel was now so narrow that Sal found himself bending over -- eventually having to crouch down to navigate further.

You did it again and left me wondering about what happens next. Was it the ghosts of the indians in the cave, or something else? If it were indians, I'm not sure if they would speak english. Also, maybe the bones were not bones from an indian burial ground. My imagination wonders every time I read your work, which is a good thing. Ginger

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103
Review by super sleuth
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
An interesting twist to an old tale. Although I expected the phone call to be from a vampire I didn't expect it to want a replacement so he could travel. The dialog between the characters developed the story nicely. This was extremely well done. Ginger
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Review of The Beast  
Review by super sleuth
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
When a good intriguing story drops into your lap, it is hard to put it down. This was one of those stories. I did not want it to end. I feel disappointed and let down. I want to know what happens next. I hope there is a follow-up to this story. Maybe the blue light doesn't appear and John is left to raise the monster's cubs and protect them from other hunters. Give me more. Ginger
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105
Review by super sleuth
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Very nicely written. Kept my interest to the end.
Reminded me of Stephen King's, "Children of the Corn"
Maybe even a prelude to his famous story, depicting how all the children came to be in the corn worshiping the creature within. keep up the good work. Ginger
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106
Review by super sleuth
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
This series has captured my attention and I intend to read them all.
This story was well written but it didn't have the emotional tension it could have. Everything seemed so matter-of-fact. I'm not sure I believe Chrissy's story.
There was not much emotion in the telling of it, or should I say Joe's telling of it. It might have been more emotional if she told the story and then we find out more about his reaction to it. Then we could discover more about how each one realy felt towards each other. I do, however, like the fact we are learning a little bit more of what makes Joe tick. So far we don't really know much about his personality.
If I was going to frequent a bar and come back often, I would like to become friends with the owner/bartender and hope he really enjoys having me and everyone there. Does he ever smile, welcome and greet people as they come in?

I'm not that great a speller or that good at punctuation but I did notice this small error.

She promised to remain after close and I went about the rest of the night distracted.
I think you should use the word closing instead.
Your friend Super Sleuth
107
107
Review by super sleuth
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
A nice introduction to Nobody's Place but it was not very interesting to read. Stories are about people. You could have mentioned a few people sitting around the bar in your description. Or said a couple of college students were playing foosball to the right of the entry. Although you mentioned it was his dream, it still felt cold and impersonal. No noise or music playing from the juke box. If it was his first day open there should have been a grand opening, A free round of drinks for the first twenty customers or something. If you want people to read the continuing stories you must grab their attention to get them to read more. Super Sleuth
108
108
Review by super sleuth
Rated: E | (4.5)
This was so cute. My grand children will just love it.
Easier to read than Dr. Seuss with words they can understand. Great fun.
109
109
Review by super sleuth
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
The story was as well thought out. Your writing is superb. I do think you need to reread this story and correct several typo's and missused words.
for example: "This is no place for a chld
an obvious typo

"protruding metal debris cutting into her
skiin" another typo

"All of the sudden, his facial expression changed" "All of a sudden" reads better.

"A surge of adrenaline from my pounding heart
stuck and pushed through my eyes to his mind. Maybe it should be struck and
into

"In am matter of two days, it was time for me to start the experiment. Another typo

"All of the sudden everything turned to red.
"All of a sudden" I'm sure is what you meant to say.

In the first five lines of the last paragraph there are several mistakes, also the word He should be capitalized when used in reference to God. You are a gifted writer and I am still learning. Why is it we can notice mistakes in other peoples writings that we overlook in our own? Wonderful story. Super Sleuth



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110
Review by super sleuth
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A very powerful story about a young girl's belief in her faith. An interesting twist to a terrible tragedy
surrounding the events of 911. Very descriptive portrayal of her visions of the future tragic event.
Wonderfully written. Look forward to reading more of your work. Super Sleuth
111
111
Review by super sleuth
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
You hit the nail on the head with this one. I too refuse to watch half the crap they show on TV. I like a good movie, or a funny comedy show. Way to go. Super Sleuth
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112
Review of Dentistry  
Review by super sleuth
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Nicely done. Not the typical vampire story. Cute and funny in a way. Super Sleuth
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113
Review by super sleuth
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A little sad but heartfelt. Animal poems creat lots of room for emotional responses. The animal lovers know where your comming from. Although i'm not much of a cat person I really enjoyed your poem. Thanks for sharing. Super Sleuth
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Review of Dressing with Dad  
Review by super sleuth
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Very funny and cute. You had me giggling as I read.
We all at one time in our lives, meet, or are bothered by a bully. How do we handle it? Our parents are always saying: don't fight, don't hit your brother, turn the other cheek. What is right? Stand up for yourself or let them beat the crap out of you. You did good. Loved it. Super Sleuth
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Review of Dragon's Treasure  
Review by super sleuth
Rated: E | (4.0)
I enjoyed reading "Dragons Treasure." I was confused as to the line where you mention "golden curls"
I thought you were talking about a baby dragon being the treasure. I didn't know dragons had curls. Maybe I just misunderstood your meaning. super sleuth
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Review of The Shepherd  
Review by super sleuth
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)

Very nicely done. Vampire stories are one of my favorite. A new twist to an old tale. I loved the last line.
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Review of Prose Place  
Review by super sleuth
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Shell, What a wonderful poem. Pain is what I feel also when I am not at my computer writing. I drive my husband crazy with all my creativity. He would rather I clean the house. LOL. I have only one problem with your poem I think it needs one more stanza. I read everything out loud to myself and as I read this poem I want to read more. Ginger
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118
Review by super sleuth
Rated: E | (4.5)
A lovely story well writen. I was a little baffled in the beginning as to why Richard wanted Chloe to investigate the disapearance of his books. She seemed to be just another inhabitant of the town, with no special detective skills. But aparently Richard knew more about Chloe than I did. It's a good thing that he did. Bravo on the ending. Super Sleuth
119
119
Review of Holmes Again  
Review by super sleuth
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Being an old fan of Sherlock Holms I enjoyed your story emensly. I read the story out loud and in doing so I found myself repeating the words you wrote in a voice that was not my own. I sounded more mature, more sofisticated, much smarter than I truly am. I felt I was back in the early 1900 when people spoke with more sofistication than they do now. Reading out loud I could change my voice to fit the characters which makes for a much more enjoyable read. I found myself rooting for Mr. Bell to be Sherlock Holmes. You wrote this story so well I just had to give you a 5.0 rating. I hope you write a follow-up to this wonderful story. Super Sleuth
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120
Review by super sleuth
Rated: E | (4.5)
ALTHOUGH I DON'T HAVE 'FIBROMYALGIA', SOME TIMES I FEEL LIKE I DO. I THINK IT IS CALLED 'OLD TIMERS DISEASE' LOL BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT I AM. I CAN RELATE VERY WELL WITH THE STORY (WHICH YOU WROTE VERY WELL BY THE WAY) FOR I FIND MYSELF WALKING INTO A ROOM TO GET SOMETHING AND CAN'T REMEMBER WHY I AM THERE. YOU HAVE CLARIFIED THE DISEASE FOR MANY READERS, I'M SURE, AND MAYBE SOMEONE WHO KNOWS SOMEBODY WITH 'FIRROMYALGIA' WILL HAVE A LITTLE MORE COMPASSION FOR THAT PERSON BECAUSE OF YOUR STORY. I KNOW I DO. GINGER
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Review of Storm Warnings  
Review by super sleuth
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Wonderful story line. Having the young girl come back all grown, was a nice touch and a fitting ending to a good story. Alcoholics can be very mean to those they love. Showing the pitfalls of too much smoking and too much drinking was a great idea. Hope it makes some people see that every thing they do has an effect on not only them but their family too. Ginger
122
122
Review by super sleuth
Rated: E | (3.0)
Not to original but cute. Needs a black cat, or a broken pumpkin and a crackin the stone to make it a little scarrier. My favorite season is the fall because there is Halloween in October, so I enjoy all the witches and spiders that abound this time of the year. Good color choices. Super Sleuth
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Review of Siren's Song  
Review by super sleuth
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Extremely well writen. The tolling of the bells echoing the past is a wonderful way to bring the story line full circle to the present. The ghost of the Padre
relating the story to the young man clarifies the eerie emotional ties of the present to the past. Nicely done.
Super Sleuth
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124
Review of My poems  
Review by super sleuth
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
I think you write wonderful poems. I do however think your last two lines should have been
But I'm not perfect, Mum and Dad,
And guess what: neither are you!
It would leave a bigger impact. Super Sleuth
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125
Review by super sleuth
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
What an adorable story. What woman wouldn't give her
eye teeth to have a sentimential, considerate and loving husband like Joe. She, however, seemed like an unusual sort of person. He had to be a saint to put up with her oddities.........Super Sleuth
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