Very nice, but so sad - I believe you meant based on real life? He must have been a special person.
good luck to you in all your endeavors. I think the best poetry is based on real life and when it evokes such strong emotions, it was well worth the writing. I guess this must be part of the healing experience for you, Write On!
I'm usually a fan of death poems, this one left me wanting though? I think suppose should be supposed? I don't believe that any two people were meant to be - we make choices and some of them are bad. Move on as best you can and buck up there will be more dumb choices in the future. Guard your heart a little better and make those you let in earn your trust. Good choices make for a good life. Your choice to express yourself is definitely a good one! You have a lot to live for - so the rest of us can see your writing as it progresses and improves - for it surely will - practice makes perfect or so they say.
Awesome that you escaped - it wasn't fate - just a bad choice in life - you'll make some more probably, don't let others steal your heart so fast - make them earn it over time and run at the first lie or you may regret it.
I am sorry, but I really don't like such negative thinking - you are what you are by the choices you make - not by the people in or out of your life! At least you're an author - let that suffice for now. Most people tend to drag others down - you can rise easier when alone and not encumbered with all the thoughts about someone else. Alone is free - soar with the birds - good luck to you
those that think they can - do - those that think they can't - don't. Life tends to beat you down - if you let it
Start writing - learning the guitar and start with one orange tree in a pot
Stop saying I won't or you won't - you can only be corrupted if you allow it!
Negativity begets negativity - the future is what you make it - by the choices you make - think before you act or react to every situation. Don't listen to "Career Advisors" - they chose the worst path of all! Let your inner spirit choose your path!
I liked it - you're probably better off without him or them as the case may be.
You should heal your own heart and not let others have to put your heart back together. Pick up the pieces yourself, you'll be better off. Find your love in the works that you write.
Every heart can be mended, every soul can be healed
When your body is rejuvenated, your fate will be sealed
A good topic and some discerning points made. This is one person not ignorant of the ruthlessness of Big Brother. I still trust, maybe too much? I can't believe the world will ever be devoid of trust?
Keep up the good work - how many people know the meaning of proles or dystopia? I believe proles is a derogatory term used by organizations like big brother to demean those of us who believe in a good work ethic? This language may possibly limit your audience to the effete elite?
This is the lowest rating so far - I'm sorry, but I don't think you proofread very well, if at all? Shoud class be glass? Should casketing be cascading? Should life be lift? I do like the theme though. I just can't abide spelling mistakes? I guess it's a flaw in my character? Keep trying and you'll improve - I wish you well in your efforts to express yourself!
I liked it. It kept my interest, seemed topical, I hope the world survived? I'm a newbie and this is one of the first short stories I've read and since you seem so prolific, I feel a little intimidated, with only two items in my protfolio - and one isn't even half way complete? I'll read more after I write some more. I liked your signature also. I'll send you some points if you review any of my feeble writings. Your probably rich with them anyway? I hope someday to have as much material that I have written and am proud of. good luck to you!
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