I promised you a review of this story, and here it is.
You have crafted a delightful relationship story in the genre that I would call YA Romance. That's one I couldn't, wouldn't ... shouldn't try to write in - I'm too removed from the action. But it does give me the luxury of sitting back and reviewing the story more objectively.
First, let me say I liked it. You have crafted a strong, insightful story of a developing and strengthening relationship between two basically different people. You have used a not uncommon literary device of taking a chunk out of the middle of the story and used it as your opening to provide a hook to draw the reader in. well done.
The story develops well from her frustration at the attitude of her lecturer where Minho does his "white knight on a charger" act to support and defend the young woman. Incidentally, I can find no reference to her name. As this is essentially seen and told through her experience, this isn't/shouldn't be a problem. So we see how they get together and how they relate over time and through their daily challenges, including parental attitudes.
The plot is basic, but in a story of this nature,. doesn't need to be complicated. It is very much a boy meets girl story, with the challenges of collegiate life in the 21st century. I'm tempted to ask if this is at least semi-autobiographical, but you might not tell me
Your characters are well drawn. We see Minho as a confident young man, sure of himself and popular with others, particularly the girls, but tending to be a little self-focused. But he's supportive, compassionate and friendly, and he forges strong bonds with the narrator of the story. She, in turn, is more conflicted and is eventually driven to stand up for herself against "the system", which is where Minho's support becomes important. Importantly, they have matching sense of humour, a bit way out, but, in the end, he remains "her idiot".
In summary, a good read that I thoroughly enjoyed. However, there are a few things I would like to query with you. In no sense to they detract from the quality of the story as such, but they hint at issues that you may like to consider.
Firstly, you've managed a "tense shift", something that happens to all writers sometimes. IMHO, "God, he was so frustrating sometimes." ought to be "God, he is so frustrating sometimes."
Secondly, and this is very much my take on a practical situation, I wonder how two college students are able to afford "...you and Minho moved into your split level apartment together. You fell in love with the bay window in the living room. He fell in love with the old fashioned spiral staircase leading to the kitchen." In other words, where did the money come from fro an attractive place such as you have described, and where does the money for its upkeep come from? Maybe that's just a comment from a cynical old codger. Maybe it's not.
My final point, and IMHO again, this is significant for any writer. It concerns the use of "...ly" adverbs, which have much the same status as the word "that". In other words, they are usually either superfluous, or they are used in an attempt to reinforce a weak verb. This seldom works. So let me show a few examples:
"phone ringing cuts him off. He answers brusquely," You could either leave out "brusquely altogether, or change the verb Maybe, "He snaps."
"proudly stating #1 status." This might be more effective as simply, "proclaiming #1 status".
""Come on, professor," you say charmingly, now inspired by the boy backing you," You could leave out "charmingly" altogether, or replace "you say charmingly" with something like, "you plead" or "you appeal to his better nature, in the hope that he has one"
"the morbidly instructive science posters". You could change the adverb to an adjective and make it, "the morbid science posters."
"You think your soul is slowly floating away from your body". The idea of slowness " is contained within the idea of "floating" - we don't float quickly. So you could leave out "slowly" altogether.
"Minho lithely crosses the room" This may be equally as effective by saying something like, "Minho eases across the room", or even just, "Minho crosses the room."
"The teacher was wrong to scold you so harshly." Here, too, the idea of "harshness" is embedded in the verb "to scold." You don't scold someone gently, so you could just leave out the adverb, "so harshly".
"You glare at him slightly." Now here, IMHO, I'm not at all sure it is possible to glare slightly. You could leave the adverb out, or change the sentence to read something like , "your eyebrow flicks up as you look at him."
Maddie, there are others, and it isn't my intention to dissect your story for every errant adverb. But I hope you can get the gist of what I'm aiming at. Have a chat with your lecturer about this if you feel so inclined, but my objective is to transmogrify you into "Maddie, The Adverb Slayer".
Maddie, I want to be very clear that my criticisms in the latter part of this review in no way reflect on the quality of your story. It is effective, somewhat idiosyncratic, but none the worse for that, charming and a most enjoyable read. My concerns are with its technical infrastructure, but this involves skills that you are very capable of developing.
Thank you for an excellent read, and i will return to your portfolio for more pieces of excellence. Write on.