|Dear Pam Sears,
After reading “Too Late”, It is my privilege to offer a review of this piece. I am not an expert in English, or grammar by any means. As such, I feel unqualified to rate it regarding the more technical aspects of writing. However, if I notice any glaring spelling, or punctuation errors I may point them out simply as an assistance for possible edits.
My desire is to encourage. Anything I share is only my opinion. Your writing is yours. You are master of your words and creativity.
I simply know what I like, and I like this very much. I love religious allegory and stories with a message of Truth. This is a good illustration for many. I believe it can be a clarion call to some. I pray that it is.
Character(s) – I like this person for one reason. He/she (I’ll say He because that is as I understood it in my mind) is honest in his deception. He doesn’t seek to justify his sins and selfishness with claims that “real love tolerates all things”. Or that “all roads lead to God” or that “all religions are equally efficacious as long as they are believed with sincerity.” He doesn’t seek to say he believes in God, but HIS God would never do this, or do that. He never says stuff like: “To me, God is this or that” blah…blah..blah. You know the drill. None of that! HE is his own god and he is more honest about it than most, who hide behind a myriad of false ideologies, philosophies, and downright intentional deceptions that are so delicious to the fallen nature.
So, as I like him for his honesty. I grieve for him in his deep, selfish deception. None of us must think we were any different than he. Did he ever have a chance? Perhaps. We get hints that maybe he did, but rejected them each time. Too Late indeed.
Setting(s) – We don’t find out until the very end that he is in fact at HIS very end. On his death bed. At home or in the hospital, it doesn’t matter. He is re-living his life. Believing he’d “won more than he’d lost” – the only measure of his life, apparently. Reinforcing his self-deception right up until the last moment.
Voice / Style – a monologue in real time. It flows well and we learn much of this man and his view of things. Interesting that a man with no moral compass never chooses to do good, unless he, in his selfishness is advanced in some way.
Plot / Twists – the ending is the closest thing to a twist. Especially coming on the heels of the man’s strongest rebukes at any notion of a God with whom he must give account.
This paragraph: You're simply jealous of my freedom, the way I lived life on my own terms. No one to answer to but myself. You're trying to ruin my last few minutes of life by attempting to make me feel guilt over my actions and telling me I'll have to face this God you believe in.
This is quite a powerful description of how many view their lives. It made me think of the Sinatra song: “My Way.” To my knowledge, Frank was unrepentant to the grave. Quite tragic. I wonder how many have been misled with his song.
I find it interesting that when the man’s life is over, we find he is speaking to us. “You” = apparently, Christians. His whole monologue is to those who would warn him and steer him to salvation. The only beings in the world, apart from God who love him, and are concerned for his eternal future, are told to be silent and get out. He accuses us of trying to spoil his death.
We, as Christians, do indeed experience these types of things. We often get attacked as though we are responsible for what God in his love and mercy have accomplished. As though God’s Holiness and Justice were our fault.
This is as it should be. For we are His ambassadors. And He said it would be so. Yet we must declare the message clearly, with all patience and gentleness.
Grammar / Punctuation – a few easy edits:
First line – “morales” should be morals or perhaps mores.
2nd paragraph – "surprising" is misspelled.
1st paragraph – after the word “label”
6th paragraph – after the word “say”
8th paragraph – after the word “land”
8th paragraph – after the word “intimidated”
Encouragements: I have read all your other Religious monologues. I believe you have good understanding of scripture and sound doctrine. Please write more of these. This generation, I think can benefit greatly.
My desire in this review was to be first courteous, and respectful, but also encouraging, and helpful. I hope you find it so.
I have written some pieces, similar to “Too Late” in the “Religious and Allegory” folder in my port. I would love for you to read and review / critique them for me.
“There are two levels of humility. One level, is when one is humble enough to give. The next level, is when one is humble enough to receive.” - JLL
J. Lynn Lindsay