Jeffrey Meyer's (centurymeyer35) Reviews

Review Requests: ON
948 Public Reviews Given
953 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I prefer to offer an in-depth review of others' writing. I will note the things I like, things that may not work as well for me as a reader, and supportive suggestions.
I'm good at...
Mechanics and meaning. I'm no expert, but I can tell where a comma does and doesn't belong, and I can see where a meaning might be excellently conveyed or a bit muddled thereby. I'm also good at recognizing the overall spirit of a piece as a whole, despite mechanics, grammar, and such.
Favorite Genres
General fiction, some sci-fi, drama, some poetry
Least Favorite Genres
Fan-fiction, politics
Favorite Item Types
Character-driven stories
Least Favorite Item Types
Articles. Essays are okay, but they're not my favorite.
I will not review...
Stories about giants or shrinking--I just don't "get" them. I am also unlikely to review 5,000+ word pieces unless the GP compensation is commensurate with the effort I will have to put into it.
Public Reviews
51
51

Review of Valentine's Day  

Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
My goodness! You captured that nervous indecision just right! I've been there so many times. Honestly, I usually freeze up and botch the moment. But this is about John, and John lucked out in the extreme. The heart does indeed make the right choices for us sometimes. All the presents in the world weren't as valuable to Cynthia as just having John. And tagging on a long-lasting marriage which is no mean feat was a nice closer.

Great writing, my friend.

--Jeffrey
52
52

Review of Sarah Ebon  

Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Nick,

This is a warmhearted trip down memory lane
both for you and for the reader. I remember playing the same games, reading the same books. I didn't have a Sarah Ebon by my side though; it would have been so much better, I can see from your poem, if I had. An ode to an old friend, this speaks volumes about love.

I must confess, though, I was a little confused by the last line. I'm not sure if this is a eulogy to a friend who has passed or a living note of appreciation and thanks, looking forward to more years of friendship. I'm not sure if you intended that ambiguity or not, so I wanted to point it out.

One mechanical note I'd like to point out: the almost-rhythm is a tricky. In many lines, there is a meter, but that meter fails after three or four lines and moves to something very different. The broken timing really tripped me up; perhaps tightening it down to a truer tempo would alleviate that.

This is very nice poem about something I don't read much about: simple friendship
not romantic love and bitterness or loneliness; just the simple joy of a great friend. Nicely done.



This review offered by
Jeffrey

*Strong**Floral1*WDC Power Reviewers Group*Floral1**Explode*

Image for reviews and emailsQuill 2025 Nominee

Please note that my reviews are intended to be
respectful and encouraging.
If you feel I have been rude, cruel,
or otherwise inappropriate,
please report this review to a moderator.


 
53
53

Review of Last Year On Fire  

Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Emberly,

This is a deeply personal poem you've shared with us. One can identify, at least to some extent, the frustration of good intentions achieving exactly the wrong goals and hopes being proven futile over and over again.

This quote resonated with me, as I have a son who struggles with mental issues and substance abuse (clean for now, thankfully):
I cried alone while my son laughed somewhere else,
like my grief was invisible air he didn’t need to breathe.

When our pain goes unheeded and we are alone with our grief, the pit just seems to get so much deeper.

The structure you've chosen, such as it is, fits the mood. Your choice to use so many short lines works well here. Each one is like a little cut, and they all add up to a thousand little cuts that slowly bleed the soul. But in the end, the cuts heal. They leave scars, but they didn't bleed you dry. You survived.

Then again, survival is sometimes both a blessing
and a curse, in my experience anyway. One day feels victorious, but the next day feels like so much wasted effort trying to kick water uphill. I get the same sense lurking between the lines here.

I quite enjoyed this poem that I can only hope was cathartic to write.


This review offered by
Jeffrey

*Strong**Floral1*WDC Power Reviewers Group*Floral1**Explode*

Image for reviews and emailsQuill 2025 Nominee

Please note that my reviews are intended to be
respectful and encouraging.
If you feel I have been rude, cruel,
or otherwise inappropriate,
please report this review to a moderator.


 
54
54

Review of Jared  

Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Jared,

This is fantastic, man. The message of hope by itself is to be lauded, especially from someone like myself who tends to find the shadows on the sunniest of days. But beyond than, there's some great writing in such a short piece.
*Thought* "like a heartbeat relearning its pace" This was such a great analogy. for me it turned the sound of a hammer into the sound of many hammers. It was like adding stereo to a mono track.

*Thought* "the smell of wet ash" I often read of the smell of ash, the smell of brunt cloth, burnt wood. But the sodden, nasty smell of wet ash is so memorably pungent, such a smell of something have been extinguished, like the hope of the village. It's just such an important detail, and slipped in like a minor chord you didn't realize you heard until your eyes start to tear up.

*Thought* "he had a plan and a blister" A perfect way of stating that Jared was participating in healing his vision (ergo the blister) and that he was moving forward toward a leadership role, a forward-looking role. It uses Jared as that major chord, that positive note that represents the potential of recovery, whether its a town that's broken or a person or a person's spirit: with hard work and a sharp mind, there is such a thing as "forward."

I am very impressed by this short piece, thought not surprised, given much of your other work. Still, I think this would stand tall in many a contest.

What a joy to read, and a great way to start my day. What a way to Write On!


TThis review offered by
Jeffrey

*Strong**Floral1*WDC Power Reviewers Group*Floral1**Explode*

Image for reviews and emailsQuill 2025 Nominee

Please note that my reviews are intended to be
respectful and encouraging.
If you feel I have been rude, cruel,
or otherwise inappropriate,
please report this review to a moderator.


 
55
55

Review of Borrowed Red  

Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Luna,

I found this to be a very touching poem. I've watched loved ones battle with the choice of staying here or letting go. But to have to ask for the gift of someone else's lifeblood
literally over and over is not something I would wish to see.

"We see the shadow at the door..." What an insightful line. Not only can the dying sense their time is coming, but so can those who are close to them. "We" see the shadow; he sees us see the shadow, and he turns away. In shame? In defeat? In sadness? I feel all three, but especially guilt: for feeling like he has put the family through this, for having taken so much of a limited resource (blood), for actually entertaining the hope of crossing to the other side.

The last line is strangely hopeful. That sounds morbid, but it's not meant that way. The deathwatch grinds down both the living and the dying; but in the event, both are set free, to begin to grieve or to move on to the next plane where we will
"finally ask for nothing more."

Very strong poem, in my opinion.



This review offered by
Jeffrey

*Strong**Floral1*"The Power Reviewers Group*Floral1**Explode*

~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~Quill 2025 Nominee

Please note that my reviews are intended to be
respectful and encouraging.
If you feel I have been rude, cruel,
or otherwise inappropriate,
please report this review to a moderator.


 
56
56

Review of A grieving soul  

Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Faith,

This poem packs a powerful punch. It is terribly mature for such a young persona. I am fifty, and I have lost fewer than nine people close to me; how intense it must be to endure such a loss, I can only image. Your words to convey a lot of it well, though.

I was particularly struck by 4 and 5.
"You’re the common denominator for all this death / You’re the problem." That's a way of expressing guilt I had never even considered. The reader is forced to pause and think about it, though, and imagine what it must feel like. It's not comfortable, and it's not meant to be. Excellent delivery.

The end of the strophe for 8 and 9 is a bit concerning, I must say. Dissociation is a dangerous coping mechanism, and not often anyone's friend. But that's not truly the point here, and I know it; it's not the main thrust of the poem. However, it
is another part that really strikes out at the reader, reinforcing how desperate all of the loss is, and how desperate the writer is to cope with it.

You've handled this is in a very straightforward way, leaving out the frills and colors that often accompany poetry. It's stark, like its topic; it's direct to the point, as death itself must be. It's presented, in my opinion, perfectly.

I hope, if this has brought any catharsis, that you choose to Write On!



This review offered by
Jeffrey

*Strong**Floral1*"The Power Reviewers Group*Floral1**Explode*

~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~Quill 2025 Nominee

Please note that my reviews are intended to be
respectful and encouraging.
If you feel I have been rude, cruel,
or otherwise inappropriate,
please report this review to a moderator.


 
57
57

Review of Meals on Wheels  

Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Lonewolf,

This was wrought with some perfect metaphors.
"His car was old enough to vote and opinionated enough to complain." What a perfect description of a car without actually describing it; loved it. This piece remind us that we can find peace and joy in the small things, and that we should. If a late-night driver can find his zen, why not us nine-to-fivers?

Good piece, and congrats on last night's win.

--Jeffrey
58
58

Review of I hate to wash my hair!  

Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Alice,

I found this story-cum-blog entertaining to a tee! Of course it deals with the deeper issue of self-image, but it touches on it in a humorously self-deprecating way that is enjoyable for the reader to consume and easy to digest.

It particularly strikes me because I used toi have long hair. That was over half a lifetime ago, but I still vaguely remember it. I was thuggish-looking lad, with a tough exterior to keep people at a protective arm's length. So when a woman asked me what I did to my hair, I was at first quite defensive. When I saw she was serious, my answer was so lame, it was almost embarrassing: White Rain shampoo and cold water. When I went home and looked in the mirror, however, I didn't see softly flowing locks or gentle brown waves: I saw homeless Jesus staring back at me skeptically.

In short, I certainly
can relate!

At this point, I keep my hair short enough so I can't pull it out in frustration; and I've stopped noticing the gray (except for the way it refuses to stay combed and sticks out of my beard like still-homeless Jesus).

Thanks for a fun way to start my morning. More of this--Write On!

This review offered by
Jeffrey

*Strong**Floral1*"The Power Reviewers Group*Floral1**Explode*

~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~ Image #2333342 over display limit. -?-

Please note that my reviews are intended to be
respectful and encouraging.
If you feel I have been rude, cruel,
or otherwise inappropriate,
please report this review to a moderator.


 
59
59

Review of Can't write. no motivation  

Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Nora,

I sure hope your writer's block has passed! But, good grief I know how you feel!

I have a contest here on WdC that I like to contribute to, as well, because it's a fun exercise. Half the time, I look at the blinking cursor... and look... and look... If one could see my thoughts like a thought bubble in a cartoon, it would just be a blank white cloud.

I, too, am working on a novel. Been working on it for years now. Have about 3 chapters completed, and those probably need to be overhauled heavily. But when I sit down to write more, I feel exactly as you describe here: I can't even think of the next sentence!

Writer's block is the veriest of bitch-kitties, no doubt. As I said, I hope yours has passed, but reading this has been kind of validating, knowing I'm not the only one who's sometimes just as blank as the page in front of them.

Best of luck on your novel. Remember (as I should, too) that the key is simple: just Write On!


This review offered by
Jeffrey
——————————
*Strong**Floral1*"The Power Reviewers Group*Floral1**Explode*

~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~ Image #2333342 over display limit. -?-

Please note that my reviews are intended to be
respectful and encouraging.
If you feel I have been rude, cruel,
or otherwise inappropriate,
please report this review to a moderator.


 
60
60

Review of Shooting Star  

Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
David,

This is a wonderfully simple but complete scene of two young would-be lovers in those first stages of the fires of the heart. I rather liked the honest way you portrayed Sandra's disappointment when Randell pointed out the concrete reality of the shooting star as opposed to the romantic imagery of it. That's a real thing; geeks like me and Randell have a way of ruining things by being overly analytical and borderline argumentative about little details.

The final line of this reminds me of that old Shania Twain song,
No One Needs to Know Right Now. Secrets are heavy things to carry around, usually... but not a secret like this. One day, Randell might guess her heart's secret wish. Then he'll find himself so focused on her, he won't notice if all the stars fall from the sky.

This was a charming read to start my day.


This review offered by
Jeffrey

*Strong**Floral1*"The Power Reviewers Group*Floral1**Explode*

~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~ Image #2333342 over display limit. -?-

Please note that my reviews are intended to be
respectful and encouraging.
If you feel I have been rude, cruel,
or otherwise inappropriate,
please report this review to a moderator.


 
61
61

Review of Smokey and the Red Ball  

Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Tee,

This is a wonderful illustration, both from the point of imagery and from the point of philosophy. It's a reminder that that we can focus on the little things, find happiness and fulfillment in them. That's an idealistic viewpoint, sure, but if it were a reality, it could resolve these complex dissatisfactions, unwind the complicated conflicts. In the meantime, between the realism of our world and the idealism of Smokey's world, we can all make our own small efforts to focus on the little victories.

I'd like to point out some of the aspects of this little gem that stood out to me.

*PaintBrush* "In a garden where flowers bloom like brushstrokes and sunlight glows like melted gold..." What fantastic imagery! The metaphor and simile of this line are both original are brilliant, really putting the garden clearly in the mind's eye of the reader.

*PaintBrush* "...a coat like midnight fire..." what a paradox, emphasizing the contrast in Smokey's fur.

*Thought* "...tucked between blossoms and curiosity." This is such a beautiful way of reminding us that inquisitiveness brings the world around us into full bloom.

*Thought2* "So here’s to... wide eyes and wild hearts." Again, you strike that chord of curiosity and encouraging the reader to follow the simple questions that have beautifully simple answer for total wholesome satisfaction.

This was a gorgeous piece that packs a lot of impact for such a short piece. I'm glad I was able to start my day with this!



This review offered by
Jeffrey
——————————
*Strong**Floral1*"The Power Reviewers Group*Floral1**Explode*

~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~ Image #2333342 over display limit. -?-

Please note that my reviews are intended to be
respectful and encouraging.
If you feel I have been rude, cruel,
or otherwise inappropriate,
please report this review to a moderator.


62
62

Review of The Episode  

Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Jacky,

I really like this piece. In a way, it reminds my
The Number of the Beast, by Iron Maiden, wherein a man encounters a significantly more sinister group dancing in the woods and feels drawn to them and must join with them as a family of necromancers, perhaps.

Yours is much more positive, of course. It's also so believable, especially the hovering parents. Sometimes we get so protective of our children, we can smother them--especially an only child. It's often said that parents read evey book about parenting when their first child is born and hound the child's every step to make sure they, as the parents, are doing everythign right; but by the time a second child comes around, the give the little one a wrench and a bottle and let them find out for themselves.
*Laugh*

The had a wonderful conclusion, forward-looking and leaving the reader wanting more. What I like about endings such as this is that there
is no more; if makes my imagination have to work, it makes me think. And, as I often say, that's what really good writing does.

--Jeffrey
WDC Superpower Reviewers
63
63

Review of Sam Platte  

Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Daisan,

I love this! The scene is complete and self-contained, needing no backstory to help it stand on its own. Dialog is spot-on. I applaud the vocabulary you've chosen, not shying away from what would have been said at the time, neither using it gratuitously not glossing it over.

The concept of the outcast actually being the wisdom of the group is always I theme a enjoy. Being an underdog most of my life, it's nice to be able to so easily insert myself into the story as Sam.

Aside from offering how much I liked this story, I don't have much else to offer. Mechanics, organization, and arc are all about perfect, from my side of the campfire. Excellent work, my friend!
64
64

Review of Close Encounter Categories  

Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Paranologist,

I find the field of ufology fascinating. I have long accepted UFOs/UAPs as real events, to the point where, while they are rare enough in my life to be major events, reports of others sighting them is simply another routine news story to me. Your article about the several categories of Close Encounters with aliens and alien technology was tremendously interesting and very informative.

That having been said, there are some issues with your article I'd like to point out that might make it a stronger read.

*Right* Introduction:
The introduction to your article is clear and concise, but it's ,missing something: a thesis. One of the best bits of writing mentoring I ever got was: in any essay, article, story, pamphlet, or what have you— 1) Tell em what you're gonna tell em; 2) Tell em; 3) Tell em what you told em. In this case, a summary sentence at the end of your first paragraph would tell your readers what you're about to present and why. Why should the reader be interested in what you are writing? In other words, it would tell em what you're gonna tell em.

*DoorB* Paragraph openers:
In this case, it might be helpful to place your paragraph openers in bold type, thus:
Close Encounters of the First Kind: are when unexplainable flying aircraft...

Alternatively, you might choose to make your "headers" part of the opening sentence of the paragraph, which would be more correct in any case. Here's an example:
Close Encounters of the Second Kind are when there is a physical effect on electrical systems caused by...
 
*Gear* Structure:
You have a lot of fragments in this article that should be drawn out into sentences. Here's a couple of instances:
Paragraph 4: The UFO Crash in Roswell, New Mexico in 1947.
Paragraph 3: When there are power outages like in New York, and missile silos go off line, or cars will not start after a UFO is sighted.

These need a subject, verb, and object. Currently, there is a subject without a verb or object, and a dependent clause with no parent, respectively. Ensure your sentences are structured completely and correctly to convey your message with greater clarity and precision.

There is an issue with paragraph structure, as well. The third and fifth paragraphs are just 2 examples of this issue. You have a line break in the middle of your paragraph where there should not be one. For instance, in the third paragraph, there should not be a line break between
"...Sighted" and "And crop circles..."

*BookmarkG* Refrerences:
This one's neither right nor wrong, but I would consider putting your references, such as Whitley Streiber's
Communion (an awesome book, by the way) as footnotes to the article. It's not wrong, per se, to cite them as references inline in your paragraphs, as you've done. However, putting all your citations in one place, as footnotes, allows the reader to see them all at once and investigate further without having to read back though the entire article to find one reference that struck them as interesting.

*Stop* Conclusion:
This is where you "tell em what you told em." Your copnclusion would be much stronger with a summary of what was just presented, why the reader should care about it and retain it, and how, if, or why it will have an impact on the reader or world at large moving into the future.

This article has valuable and fascinating information in it; your research on the subject shows. I was glad to have an opportunity to read it. I am hoping there will be more on this topic as I peek further into your portfolio.


This review offered by
Jeffrey

*Strong**Floral1*"The Power Reviewers Group*Floral1**Explode*

~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~ Image #2333342 over display limit. -?-

Please note that my reviews are intended to be
respectful and encouraging.
If you feel I have been rude, cruel,
or otherwise inappropriate,
please report this review to a moderator.


 

65
65

Review of Solar rider  

Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Anastasia,

This poem about perseverance in the face of overwhelming odds is encouraging. You use an extreme metaphor to illustrate the struggles in the writer's life, including the advice from others to turn away from the path of accomplishment. This is stated very well.

The concept and declaration of being alone on a journey speaks strongly of self-reliance and self-motivation. The final lines conclude the story with success. One can easily interpret that this is a cyclic story, that every struggle or challenge follows this path to some degree. Furthermore, we can apply this to ourselves, making the poem that much more accessible.

On a technical note, your rhyme scheme is written very well. There are some places where your meter skips just a bit, but that's not a huge deal if you're not constraining your self to a specific style. I will note that the vocabulary, while effectively using the extreme to boldly define the journey, is very sci-fi centric; that might actually
decrease the accessibility of the poem for some reason.

Overall, this is a solid poem with a very positive message. Nice work.


This review offered by
Jeffrey
——————————
*Strong**Floral1*"The Power Reviewers Group*Floral1**Explode*

~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~ Image #2333342 over display limit. -?-

Please note that my reviews are intended to be
respectful and encouraging.
If you feel I have been rude, cruel,
or otherwise inappropriate,
please report this review to a moderator.


 
66
66

Review of The Final Countdown  

Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Lonewolf,

I didn't expect this ending to the tried-and-true haunted house trope. The sudden lighting up of the house was a very interesting direction indeed! I wonder, though, why the big homie had both a candle and a flashlight. Why doesn't anyone ever choose the more reliable Coleman lantern in horror stories?
*Laugh*

I really liked this; congrats on a well-deserved win!

--Jeffrey
67
67

Review of I'm His One and Only  

Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Wildflower,

I think this is a very nice poem. Articulating
"I've even ruined this poem" illustrates the writer's frustration and feeling of helplessness in this situation. Misunderstood feelings, whether accidental or deliberate, leave a person feeling very used and worn out. That feeling comes through here as well. The self-recrimination, while not stated in harsh tones, is evidenced clearly with "of course I've done this."

I can't imagine the pain of sitting at my former lover's wedding and watching her experience the bliss I had once thought was meant for me.

You didn't ruin this poem at all; I think it works great, and I hope you Write On!



This review offered by
Jeffrey
——————————
*Strong**Floral1*"The Power Reviewers Group*Floral1**Explode*

~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~ Image #2333342 over display limit. -?-

Please note that my reviews are intended to be
respectful and encouraging.
If you feel I have been rude, cruel,
or otherwise inappropriate,
please report this review to a moderator.

68
68

Review of No One Was Looking at Me  

Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
David,

When a parent makes a sacrifice for their children, that's being an everyday hero. This story about a father taking a backseat was warm-hearted, fulfilling, and instructive; it reminds us that the children are the star of the show, no matter what the show is. They're the main actors; we're just the supporting cast..

Here's my thoughts on your work, organized so I don't ramble all over the place, which is my wont:

*Right* Introduction *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* ▶︎
*Tree2* Setting *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* ▶︎
*Man* Characters *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* ▶︎
*Reading* Plot/Arc *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* ▶︎
*Gear* Mechanics *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* ▶︎
*Stop* Conclusion *Star**Star**Star**Star**Star* ▶︎
*Construction* Constructive Comments ▶︎

This was a thoughtful, engaging, and well-written story that was a pleasure to read.


This review offered by
Jeffrey
——————————
*Strong**Floral1*"The Power Reviewers Group*Floral1**Explode*


~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~ Image #2333342 over display limit. -?-

Please note that my reviews are intended to be
respectful and encouraging.
If you feel I have been rude, cruel,
or otherwise inappropriate,
please report this review to a moderator.





 
69
69

Review of Timeless  

Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Elizabeth,

My father once told me, when I commented on how fast time seemed to be going (this was 20 years or so ago, in my 30's), "Don't blink, pal, cause if you do 5 years will pass before you open your eyes again." Roger Waters & Co. remind us that
"one day you find / ten years have got behind you." Both are so painfully and frighteningly true.

Your poem is both an encouragement and a warning. It reminds us that we
do have control of how we spend our time, how valuable we make it. If we stretch those minutes by making memories instead of just watching the next episode of "The First 48" and then taking a nap, we build something in our minds and our hearts. When we look back, we say, "Remember when Tommy was doing that card trick and they all sprayed everywhere? Remember that time we volunteered at the soup kitchen and the mayor himself thanked us? Remember... I remember... We remember..." Otherwise, we simply ask: "Where'd all the time go? I can't remember a single thing we did that year that was worth a damn."

I read this poem as a parent to a child, although I can see it could also work as lover-to-lover. The message I take away from it
the very strong message is to make my time valuable while I still have it in front of, and to take others along the journey with me.

Quite the poem to start my day with; let's see if I can employ this advice beginning right now...



This review offered by
Jeffrey

*Strong**Floral1*"The Power Reviewers Group*Floral1**Explode*

~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~ Image #2333342 over display limit. -?-

Please note that my reviews are intended to be
respectful and encouraging.
If you feel I have been rude, cruel,
or otherwise inappropriate,
please report this review to a moderator.


 
70
70

Review of And Cynthia Laughed  

Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Stories about siblings are always fun. Well, usually. Maybe not in real life, so much, unless you like stories of getting locked out of (and sometimes into) rooms, having toys held hostage, and being left behind a lot. In this case, the ribbing seems good-natured and fun. "Did I deserve you two?" Cynthia must have been a brat in a former life, I guess!

--Jeffrey
71
71

Review of four lettered  

Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Foolnotes,

This is a sad poem, demonstrating the truth behind one of the lies parents have told children for ages: words will never hurt me. Words, "a bouquet of knives," can cut or heal or bless or damn in equal measure.

The cycle you've illustrated is nothing new, sadly. Many people have gone through it; this is not to say it cheapens the poem, rather it emphasizes how universally accessible it is to readers. That's important in poetry. It seems also to demonstrate a theory of mine: "the bounce." It's when people come together so hard and fast that they forget to blend their rough edges and learn to fit each others' spaces. They simply slam together and have no recourse but to emotionally bounce away seeking the room to interpret the relationship better, bruised and misunderstanding. Or, as Bob Seger perhaps more aptly put it:
Caught like a wildfire out of control
til there was nothing left to burn and nothing left to prove.

 
The last line of the second-to-last stanza is particularly effective:rotting away with four letter words." The cursing and bitter recriminations tear the cloth of emotion whether it is love or even just friendship. And it really does end up just a rotten shroud. What a great metaphor.

The conclusion of returning to enemies after love begs the question, "Isn't it better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?" I think not, always. This poem seems to echo the same sentiment.

On a constructive not, I notice you use a lot of inverted and almost archaic phrasing. For instance:
...perhaps the same way you did feel...
...just for a second did lift the gloom...
...and then away we slipped...

 
There is other language in the poem that is more contemporary and more natural to the reader. The two conflict sometimes and jar the reader's ear. This might want to be an area to look at and take into account in future pieces.

This is very good poem about a very difficult feeling, and it is well-delivered. One hopes your submission brings you fulfillment in our community and that you stay with us as you Write On!



This review offered by
Jeffrey

*Strong**Floral1*"The Power Reviewers Group*Floral1**Explode*

~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~ Image #2333342 over display limit. -?-

Please note that my reviews are intended to be
respectful and encouraging.
If you feel I have been rude, cruel,
or otherwise inappropriate,
please report this review to a moderator.


 
72
72

Review of A Box of Weeds  

for entry "Daughter
Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
What. The absolute. ***k?!

This story was well-delivered. It was easy to understand, followed a smooth narrative, and told a complete tale.

But this was off-the-wall uncomfortable as HELL! HOPEfully it was meant to be that way. The only saving grace was that the little girl was kidnapped to be a surrogate daughter, not something even more sinister.

Still, the goal of writing is to make the reader think and react. Well done: mission accomplished. Good story!

--Jeffrey
WdC Superpower Reviews
73
73

Review of --- The Next Future ---  

Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Sox,

Your story is a hopeful tale, even though it starts out rather grim. Those two opening sentences really hook the reader. I found the second, "Each time my life has shifted, it has come without fanfare or instructions" particularly impactful. It's been that way for me, too. Most changes just kind of happen; I fall ass-backward into both good and bad.

I was also able to identify with good intentions being misconstrued. It's never happened to me to the extent described in the story, but there have plenty of small moments in my life where I'm just trying to help, only to take hell for it. I reckon everyone has experience with that, making this section of the story that much more relatable. At least the main character got a respite from the park for a night though. It's sad that that's a reality: jail is better than home. Makes me shudder.

While the ending was a happy one, I have to admit that I felt it arced a bit too fast. I would have felt more satisfaction as a reader if there had been more context around the conversation, a little more time taken between getting of jail and having that final life-changing conversation. But that's just one reader's opinion. To go along with that small item, there one more crit: you missed a capital "A" in the second sentence. Tiny thing, but it stood out, so I figured I'd mention it.

It's too often that once a man (or woman) is down, they tend to stay down, no matter how hard they try to get back up, so this uplifting story was a pleasure to read.


This review offered by
Jeffrey
——————————
*Strong**Floral1*"The Power Reviewers Group*Floral1**Explode*

~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~ Image #2333342 over display limit. -?-

Please note that my reviews are intended to be
respectful and encouraging.
If you feel I have been rude, cruel,
or otherwise inappropriate,
please report this review to a moderator.


 
74
74

Review of --- The Next Future ---  

Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Sox,

(First, an interesting side note: All the December Adam West stories featured homelessness. Isn't that curious around the holidays...?)

Your story is a hopeful tale, even though it starts out rather grim. Those two
opening sentences really hook the reader. I found the second, "Each time my life has shifted, it has come without fanfare or instructions" particularly impactful. It's been that way for me, too. Most changes just kind of happen; I fall ass-backward into both good and bad.

I was also able to identify with good intentions being misconstrued. It's never happened to me to the extent described in the story, but there have plenty of small moments in my life where I'm just trying to help, only to take hell for it. I reckon everyone has experience with that, making this section of the story that much more
relatable. At least the main character got a respite from the park for a night though. It's sad that that's a reality: jail is better than home. Makes me shudder.

While the ending was a happy one, I have to admit that I felt it arced a bit too fast. I would have felt more satisfaction as a reader if there had been more context around the conversation, a little more time taken between getting of jail and having that final life-changing conversation. But that's just one reader's opinion. To go along with that small item, there one more crit: you missed a capital "A" in the second sentence. Tiny thing, but it stood out, so I figured I'd mention it.

It's too often that once a man (or woman) is down, they tend to stay down, no matter how hard they try to get back up, so this uplifting story was a pleasure to read.

This review offered by
Jeffrey
——————————
*Strong**Floral1*"The Power Reviewers Group*Floral1**Explode*

~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~ Image #2333342 over display limit. -?-

Please note that my reviews are intended to be
respectful and encouraging.
If you feel I have been rude, cruel,
or otherwise inappropriate,
please report this review to a moderator.


75
75

Review of A Light in the Sky  

Review by centurymeyer35Mail Icon
In affiliation with The Power Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Pernell,

What a wonderful story about about anonymity being revealed and let to shine. I think many of us felt like just another number in school; that makes it easy for the reader to immerse himself in the story. It reminds us to be attentive to our children and students, as well, to ensure
we're not treating them as numbers or ignoring them. Because inside every student, every child, is a star as bright as a supernova waiting to shine out. Very fulfilling story, my friend.

This review offered by
Jeffrey

*Strong**Floral1*"The Power Reviewers Group*Floral1**Explode*

~Click here to join a fun reviewing group~ Image #2333342 over display limit. -?-

Please note that my reviews are intended to be
respectful and encouraging.
If you feel I have been rude, cruel,
or otherwise inappropriate,
please report this review to a moderator.