Good poem. This life is full of choices, some good and some bad. There is forgiveness for the bad, but always consequences.
some think that no mater what we do or believe that we will all end up in heaven. I do not believe this is true, if it were why would we have consequences? I am sorry if that sounds judgemental, but I believe that God is the creator and that heaven is his. He prescribed the requirements and the method to enter his heaven.
Your poem is interesting, a Japanese poem. I am not sure what meaning you had in your writing it. I will hazard to guess. When you gaze at trees in the late spring and early fall theyhave a calming effect. At that time of year they are also beautiful in colors of yellow red and orange.
The trees have a calming effect because they are one of the most pure forms. They clean the air and give oxygen in return.
Trees stand in groups and blend with the surroundings, they remind me of people in small groups exchanging ideas.
I am new to writing poems and I'm really not that well educated in the art of poetry. If you read my portfolio you will find that I am a retired Contractor. Forgive my attempt at reveiwing your poem.
I like the story, not that I think it has been played out. 55 Words leaves some questions. I see that he prayed for his child not sure just what God's response would be. Now it seems to me that he must have faith. It seems that his faith was rewarded with a smile from God.
But what if his faith was answered with the death of his child? Would the fate of the child change his belief in God?
Good start. At this point your poem could be a short story or you could display it in a way to give it more flow, and add to it. Maybe you could start a book. Space is by volume a big subject.
I like your poem. I like the second stanza " they've become blinded, biased in their sight". In the fifth stanza I like " Even your despair is beautiful"
I do feel that your poem could even be better if you refine it a little more, not that I find fault with it as is.
Well written poem. "I am the light of all that is". God plainly said when asked about his name that he was "I AM". You are right when you say we are all connected. He created all that there is. The question is, who are we that he should care about us enough to extend his grace to us.
To come to us to be born of women yet remain fully God. to offer up a perfect sacrafice for our sin, a sacrafice that cannot be bought, or worked for. Only through Jesus Christ can this eternal gift be given or accepted. An awsome subject isn't it.
Good poem. Your poem is very idealistic. The truth is that no mater what you think of America it is with out doubt the last shining light left of freedom in the world. We need leaders that believe in America. I'm not sure we have those leaders now.
Your poem is sad. You could elimiate some words, less is more. The verse " Killing the hours, like dreading for the day I'll become myself again". do you really feel that way? The only real problem I see with your poem is your depression, it's almost feeding on itself.
nice poem. Your poem could flow better in a format that helps the reader. sentences should be shorter syllables some what the same number per sentence. all of this helps the poem.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/chuckheesch/sort_by/r.review_creation_time DESC/page/16
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.22 seconds at 2:39am on May 18, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
