It's a shame to think that all we have left of love is a memory. Love is something that should last a lifetime and it can be found in the smallest of things. Never give up on love.
I found this poem to be very heart felt and personal. It tells the reader a story. Nice work.
I didn't find any issues with this poem and there are no errors.
I am glad that this piece is a drama because I would have been very worried otherwise. I was in a situation like this just over a year ago and if it weren't for my partner I may not have made it.
It's truly a shame that many women feel that this is the only way out. Support and faith is what gets you through the rough times.
Overall, I didn't see any glaring issues here. I think it could be separated into one two more more small paragraphs so it dodn't look so blocky. Keep up the good work.
I could feel your deep seeded sadness as I read this poem. No mother should feel abandoned by her children. You have expressed yourself well in this poem. Everything you said was tasteful when it could have easily been an angry rant.
I saw some issues with the rhyme pattern you have in this poem. It starts out strong and steady in the first two stanzas but then it is lost. I would chose to go one way or the other; keep it even throughout the entire poem or don't have one.
There is also a question of the use of ellipses. I don't feel they are necessary when writing. You can acheive the same effect with proper punctuation.
I hope you find my comments and suggestions helpful.
I am in no way a sports fan but the mention of the Ouija board reeled me in. This is truly a fascinating story. I am sure there are the non believers out there who think this is as far fetched as a Ouiija board itself, but for me, I believe you 100%.
I always had a curiosity for Ouija boards however I never got to try one. Some of my friends did and they had some pretty wild stories to tell. Yours was great. It contained all of the elements need to keep the reader interested.
It's well written, easy to read and I didn't find any errors. Nice work.
I feel you have a good start to this story but the prologue doesn't give any indication to what the Silent Killer is. I also found this to be too short. The content is good but you need to expand on it. If you do that, I would consider breaking this piece up into smaller paragraphs. I hope my suggestions help.
You have created a beautiful work of art here in this poem. I found this poem to be extremely eloquent. You certainly have a way with words.
You have given Love, many different faces in this piece. It shows the reader that it can be found in everyday things if we are open enough to see it.
I didn't see anything that I would call an error but I did notice that you have the word 'Love' capitalized only in two places and the rest are all lowercase. Not sure if this makes any significant difference but I figured I would mention it.
I am very thankful to you for enlightening me. I had no idea honeybees were disappearing. You pay them a glowing tribute in this very informative poem.
You have a good, strong rhyme scheme working in this poem. The words flow freely from the page and create a stunning scene. There are no spelling errors in this poem and all of the proper punctuation was used. Great work my friend!
I think this is a lovely poem that speaks of deep seeded desire. It's unfortunate that the object of desire is no longer there. You have expressed yourself well in this piece.
I did see one error in the fourth line. You forgot to capitalize your 'I'. I also feel that this poem would benefit from more punctuation. In addition, each line should be started with a capital letter.
These suggestions, of course are only my opinion and you are the best judge of what is right for your work.
I was immediately drawn into this story right from the very first line. It was certainly at attention grabber.
You have the start of something I think is going to be a hit. Your storyline is fantastic. You give little bits and pieces of information to keep the reader interested but not enough to give away the goods all at once. The imagery you have created for this story is great. Awesome writing. I am looking forward to finding out what happens next.
Looking at this story from a technical aspect, I didn't see any errors. The overall compostion is fantastic. Great work my friend.
It hurts my heart to think of anyone being so unloved that they would need to beg for it. This poem is very sad and shows the reader what desperation looks like. It evokes many emotions in its readers.
Looking at this piece from a technical point, I don't feel that the ellipses are needed. The same effect can be achieved with proper punctuation. I didn't see any spelling errors and all of the grammar is fine.
This will be the last review for the package you received in the Gift Exchange.
It was really weird but as I read this poem I swore I could smell lilacs. Talk about eerie! It's poems like this that really make the reader take notice to the talent of the writer. My father always loved lilacs and I would bring some home with me everytime I passed a lilac bush. This poem brought back wonderful memories of my father who has been gone now for almost 16 years. Thank you for sharing it.
This review is part of the package you won from me in the ODTG Auction.
Before reading this piece I have never heard of a Torchwalk. It sounds like something I would enjoy. I envy you for having had the opportunity to travel as you have. I have seen your webpage and your military service is impressive.
This poem shares your experience with others and gives them a sneak peek of what it was like. Great poem Steph.
This review is part of the package you won from me in the ODTG Auction.
I personally appreciate the honestly I found in this item. You explained your system in plain english and didn't leave anything in doubt. I like the way you categorized everything so everyone can see exactly why you rate the way you do. This is one of the best guidelines for reviewing I have seen. Awesome work my friend.
This review is part of the package you won from me in the ODTG Auction.
This poem was a mix of emotions for me. I once thought that my life was defined by the man in it. I lived the way they wanted me to live and by doing so I lost myself. Since that time I have found my soulmate. HER arms are where I belong and is what's right for me.
Your poem shows the reader that love can be complicated. We never know what to expect or where we will end up. All we can do is trust our heart and see where it takes us.
This review is part of the package you won from me in the ODTG Auction.
You have captured what I feel are the most important aspects of Hallow's Eve. I think this is the kind of poem that would appeal to young children. Just the mere mention of Halloween sets them into a frenzy. It is such a magical time of year!
I would love to see an image to go with this poem. You have given us so much to see it would be an even bigger treat to have a picture that went with the poem. Once again, there were no errors found.
This review is part of the package you won from me in the ODTG Auction.
The images and sentiment of this lovely poem are breath-taking. You have a wonderful way of making your readers feel what you write. That is an admirable talent. I am usually a stickler for punctuation but in this poem I don't feel it's needed. It is perfect as is.
This review is part of the package you won from me in the ODTG Auction.
The images that came to mind when I read this were a myriad of darkness. I suppose they would be different for everyone. I found great power hidden in the words of this poem. It is quite fascinating.
I didn't find any problems with the form of this poem. All the the proper punctuation is used and there are no spelling errors.
This review is part of the package you won from me in the ODTG Auction.
Depression is a crippling disorder that is so misunderstood. I can relate well to this poem because I suffer from major depression. I have learned that I am not alone and that there is always someone somewhere who shares our story.
You have put a great deal of emphasis on the most horrific aspects of this dreadful affliction. I hope it helps others reach out and ask for help. Awesome poem Pat.
This review is part of the package you won from me in the ODTG Auction.
I was clearly shaken after reading this poem. I can't understand how anyone could do this to a child. You are a godsend to this young man Pat and you have saved him from the grips of despair. You are his gift from God and he is yours. Magnificent writing straight from the heart.
This review is part of the package you won from me in the ODTG Auction.
My heart goes out to you for having to endure this kind of abuse. I commend you for taking the step in writing this poem that must have been very hard for you. Looking at the technical aspects of this poem, I don't see any problems or errors.
This review is part of the package you won from me in the ODTG Auction.
I am pretty sure this poem touched Stacy in a special way. She is such a loving and caring woman I am honored to be considered a friend. You have given her a lifetime gift with this heart-felt poem. it describes her to a "T."
This review is part of the package you won from me in the ODTG Auction.
After reading this I wondered how you got to know ME so well... It's funny when you find someone that shares almost all of the same attributes as yourself. I think the only thing that makes us different in this poem is that I have 4 kids.
This acrostic is formed perfectly and there were no spelling errors found.
This review is part of the package you won from me in the ODTG Auction.
Of course I would be drawn to this poem; it has my name in it... I think you have given the reader a bird's eye view of the type pf person your friend Lisa is. This poem is a gracious tribute to her. Acrostics are a great way to expand on our creative abilities. Great poem that is error free.
This review is part of the package you won from me in the ODTG Auction.
Who wouldn't enjoy a poem about these adorable creatures. I did have an issue with the last line of this poem, more so its placement. It seems out of place where it is because the line that says: I respect their attitudes, ends this poem perfectly. I would consider moving the last line into the main body of the poem.
This is just my opinion and only you know what is best for your work.
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.48 seconds at 7:01pm on Jun 15, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
It's funny when you find someone that shares almost all of the same attributes as yourself. I think the only thing that makes us different in this poem is that I have 4 kids. 
I think you have given the reader a bird's eye view of the type pf person your friend Lisa is. This poem is a gracious tribute to her. Acrostics are a great way to expand on our creative abilities. Great poem that is error free.