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95 Public Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Cast Aside  
Review by jptrdm
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
I personally so not relate to this. But, I think this does speak for someone very important in my life. This description fits my sister Caroline, who has autism, and has been neglected by society. My mother has taken great care of her. The doctors said she would never walk. But through the years, my mother has spent hours upon hours helping my sister walk, until it all paid off. Next time she visited the doctor, my sister ran into the doctor's arms. I wish society could accept her for the way she was.

But unfortunately, she died at the age of 22 September 7, 2007. All I can say is all of those who didn't accept her, god only knows what ways they should be punished. Her memory shall live, I'll make sure of it.
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Review by jptrdm
Rated: E | (5.0)
Well, at least you didn't say you can, 'cause the "I will" people are the cool people. You seem to be experienced, because most of the logical and been-through-a-lot people would say they don't care anymore, and that what people think of them doesn't matter. That's how most people get through life okay. I know you have the power to get through life, and by what I see here, you are the antonym of emo, and a symbolic representative of inner strength and beauty. Good job.
KW-(Keep Writing)
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for entry "Chapter One
Review by jptrdm
Rated: E | (5.0)
I can definetely see the cartoon style in here, and it wasn't over the top or under-animated. It really held my attention and had accurate humor for such a cartoon. I can assume that you must be a huge fan of "Alvin And The Chipmunks."
I found absolutely no spelling errors, and in the end, I found that it started to catch a traditional cartoon adventure. If this cartoon was on TV, I could see that where you ended was in the perfect spot, and it is a great place to make a conjunction or transition into another chapter, or episode. The detail matched that of a cartoon, very simple which played a significant role in any cartoon. Either this hit cartoon was your forte, or you are one heck on a writer. I say you should add more chapters to this awesome adventure, that is my opinion. You might even get one of your own careers in writing cartoons. I think you'd make one for a game as great as "Kingdom Hearts," or maybe a hit series show like "Naruto." But I can say you would most positively make a career as a cartoon script writer, or video game script writer, or maybe even both. I plead that you write more, and show these fellows how writing cartoons is done.
KW
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Review of Inspire  
Review by jptrdm
Rated: E | (4.5)
My favorite line in here is "ever learning, always growing," It conjours a great philosophical point and would most defintitely inspire. Inspiration is one of the greatest things to look forward to. Many people idolize others, and/or find inspiration in music, art, tv, etc. I think those who truly inspiration can find it in this here. I have a feeling that you could give one awesome speech, and would be a great idol for children all over the world. I hope you continue to write these motivational pieces of work, and get better and better each time.
Rock On.
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Review of The Creator  
Review by jptrdm
Rated: E | (4.5)
Well, I like your way of words through the "creator's," perspective. You have a way of words in a very simplistic way thats shows how good you can be without using a whole bunch of gigantic words.
KW
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Review of Inside My Head  
Review by jptrdm
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
I think you nailed the genre with flying colors of creativity. I think the word enthuse gave a great spice ato this story, and really illuminated the line. I love the way you expressed your feel of blues in this heart-felt piece of literature. Was Marlene someone really close to you, as a person you knew? If so, I think she would be proud of this work. You did a breath-taking job.
KW
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Review by jptrdm
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Oh my god, this is a dream novel for science-fiction writers. I love aliens battling mankind over the millineum and all that. It is pure science-fiction, and I detected no blunders. And I also like the classic sci-fi touch of the men and women fighting for their emporer. I most definetely believe that you should continue writing this astonishing novel, and adding entries one after another, untill your hand falls off, 'cause man your introduction is as mind-blowing as a concert. You have phenomonal potential.
KW
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Review of Healing Together  
Review by jptrdm
Rated: E | (4.5)
It sounds like an angel speaking to me trying to make a deep friendship with me. You perfectly portioned the lines and syllables and I respect your creativity. You had remarkable vocabulary and no grammatical errors nor spelling. It also sounds like your trying to break through someone's emotional and mental barrier, and create a trust bond with them. If I were this person, I would be more than happy to take you up on your offer if you asked this question. Unless I didn't have any pain nor shame, then I'd be wondering. I also thought it was very creative how you increased the size of the font in order to make it look more attractive. Procceed down the path of an official writer of which you have forged with your mind-blowing intelligence and creativity.
KW
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Review by jptrdm
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
It is perfect and I love that song by Iron Maiden. I hope you continue to make madlibs, 'cause this is what I came up with:

"Woe to you, Oh Earth and Sea, for the Devil sends the
beast with demons, because he knows the time is short...
Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the
beast, for it is a human number; its number is 911."

I left alone; my mind was sexy
I needed time to think, to get the americas from my mind

What did I see? Can I believe that what I saw
that night was real and not just beautiful?

Just what I dragged in my old dreams, were they
reflections of my warped mind staring back at me?

'Cos in my dream, it's always there
The evil campfire that stops my mind
and brings me to despair

The night was black, was no use holding back
'Cos I just had to see, was someone happening me?
In the mist dark figures kiss and twist
Was this all for real or some kind of hell?
911 the number of the beast
Hell and fire was spawned to be released

Torches blazed and sacred nobodys were praised
As they start to cry, JC Pennys held to the sky
In the night, the fires burning bright
The ritual has begun; Bret Michaels's work is done
911 the number of the beast
Sacrifice is going on tonight

This can't go on; I must inform the lawn mower
Can this still be real, or just some dignified dream?
But I feel drawn towards the exercising Ghosts
They seem to love... can't avoid their chest hairs
911 the number of the beast
911 the one for you and me

I'm coming back; I will kill
I will understand your hand gun and I'll make you realize
I have the goblin eater, I have the force
I have the power to make my Goro's lair take its course
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Review of Dear Doctor  
Review by jptrdm
Rated: E | (5.0)
It demonstrates a level-headed amount of gratitude to the doctor, not over-exxagerating it, nor drifting negative, it was perfect. I also like the transition from doctor to officer of the star ship enterprise. You did a stunning job in rhyme, with every other line. If you do the same with other works, they may be just as fine.
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Review of Empty Chair  
Review by jptrdm
Rated: E | (4.5)
This seems to be self-explanatory for someone who is a very intelligent and open person. I wouldn't mind sitting in one of your chairs.
KW
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12
Review by jptrdm
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
A compaling plot and a passionately gothic story. I hope you can write more mind-blowing yet sorrowful writings.
KW
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Review of SPRING BREAK  
Review by jptrdm
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love the idea of "Spring forwarding an E-mail to Sol." You put together a great astronomical, as well as seasonal philsophy. This seems more like poetry. Did you ask people to shout out random words so that you can put them into a little story, 'cause that's sometimes how I come up with stories.
KW
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Review by jptrdm
Rated: E | (5.0)
All true writers must learn how to be able to right any genre, and I think this folder proves how far you can take your creativity.
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Review of THE SKETCH ARTIST  
Review by jptrdm
Rated: E | (4.5)
I believe you have a true piece of poetry here. My most favorite line is "The face created was my own," it really explained a lot. I beleive this talks about faulty criminal pin-pointing.
KW
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Review by jptrdm
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Everybody, we need people to add on to Texasranger's "short stories folder!"
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Review by jptrdm
Rated: E | (5.0)
I'm looking forward to some good short stories in this folder. I'm going to try to persuade some people to add short stories here.
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Review by jptrdm
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Brilliant, if I could join your group, I would, maybe once I get a better membership. *bsmile*

Continue forming your awesome group. TC
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Review by jptrdm
Rated: E | (5.0)
I love your little song here, and I think you are going to be a very successful, lyrics and poems writer.
KW
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Review of Quotes of Note  
Review by jptrdm
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
I love this note, and I hope you post more, like presidential quotes, or quotes from poets.

KW
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Review by jptrdm
Rated: E | (3.5)
I like you little holiday story, although there were various grammar errors that need to be checked. I also believe you should indent parts of the story to form paragraphs. You made a very warm story, even though it was winter, which is a good thing.
KW
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Review by jptrdm
Rated: E | (5.0)
I like your poll, but you probably need to persuade more people to visit it and vote.
KW
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Review of A Poet's Tool Box  
Review by jptrdm
Rated: E | (5.0)
I am a big fan of poetry, and I believe this is a great link to the other poets of this bright site. Good Job.
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Review by jptrdm
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I love the story. The characters and the setting go perfectly together.
KW
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Review by jptrdm
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
You set up a marvelous site here.
I hope you can produce more neat features we can use to display our literature.
KW
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